\ > \ .3, 0W x. r . ge's a few helpful ifls for the college ament who needs fin- dal assistance. It's pretty hard eming around payment IUniversity fees. fimugh Bursaries dBank loans are ac— ;adng an ever incrh :flfig popularity, es- .dfilly among those odon't intend to . .my them. After the w& one can pretty ilfloat down the a person could flwr wash dishes at .ecafeteria and re—' -We a free meal in wwnt; or he could enget a job in a tenight lounge or flaurant. At the mge, the person co— dscrounge off others hoorder after hours ma) or he could idthe kitchen which At a restaurant muld easily load wgwith food after iumgtmm. Fast food outlets amply many of meal— uw odds —n— ends. cmfld, for example, ea small order at Dmmld's and ask for Ia ketchup; salt and Mr. Then you can 'chh another wait- -Sand tell her that Ireceived none of 'aforementioned, aSk for still more ra& It doesn't take ‘3t0 accumulate a We bag full of CWP, salt and sugar. 0fcourse, all stu- tSate well acquaa ed with A&W's frie- ypOlicy of donating sand serving trays nee‘iy Students. :rpaying for your r’you can either r? them or drive, wlththem. I pre- |:° keep them (the '.make excellent Inner settings). bzee C9P8 of coffee easlly sponged y anWhere. Stu- the-streetwalken- I walk around in. ' to Succeed Colle lip ,plfla défit Sefvices and—the] Student Union office are the best.- Just nonchalantly walk over to the coffee maker pour your coffee, and en— gage in the office chatter while sipping your coffee. Works very well. AccomodationS'are more easily obtained than you might think. During warm weather, you could sleep on the roof of the maintenance building which even has a little shelter that you can slide under when it rains. During the winter months, a de- prived student need only to move into the Steam Tunnels which run below the campus and are large enough for a person to Can't you just imagine Security investigating a noise in Fun and Games You might perhaps wonder how a tale story of such nature could have any bearing on the lives of such normal, civilized human beings as the stud— ents of U.P.E.I. Well old Sidney T. would never introduce such a plot if there wasn't some deep si— gnificant meaning or les— son to be learnt. So on with the story. I was fortunate enough to get to ride with Sally (in her yellow volks) back to the house, so that I might show her where it. was and also introduce her to some popular surround— s ings before the rest of the boys got there.. The water bed swished and woo— shed (note alliteration) for a time and then there was a knock on the door. The door opened and there stood a naked man. "This is my good frie end, Bob," I said, feeling introductions being in order. "Do all your friends come into your room naked?" "We're all very friendly ' around here." "Try and give something special to bomber? "He really likes surprises." Never have I seen such the Steam Tunnel and finding a student in a sleeping bag, wearing polka—dot pajamas, read— ding a book under a fl— ourescent light, with a battery powered te— levision blaring, and _ with Elton John posters hanging on each side of the tunnel? The Steam Tunnels are really quite comfortable. _ You know there is no need to ever buy a text- book. However, a student does need note paper and stationary. Paper towels and toilet tissue serve this purpose quite hand— ily. If a person uses. toilet tissue from a pu— blic washroom, not only u'de tear-é; :De‘c‘émber*2;"'1975';‘ page 11 " gel Without ‘Really‘ Paving does he not have to pay for this, but it can also serve a useful purpose when the course is fin— ished. This being the last issue of the semester, it's time to say good—bye. Of 12 people who spoke to me concerning "Street— walker", 9 liked this column very much, 2 dis— liked it, and 1 said she enjoyed it but thought I was a male chauvanist. To everyone who liked it thanks, it's really been a trip. If you didn't like it, sorry, it's been a bitch. Closing Thought: Politics is a bitch too. Chow PIG - N’— wHISTLE, TONIGHT! ' chtsuae‘w CHRISTMAS, I'M srAVIN’ HERE! map/chm an obliging woman. However,. all good things never last. That was the last time I saw Sally for awhile. It seems that a few hours la— ter she-disappeared from the house and no one knew where she could have gone. Dick wasn't ar- ound. Could be he snuck her off to the sand pile. Just then Dick walked in the door, alone. Our hea— rts dropped but were revi- ved when Dick suggested *"Last time I saw her she was with Percy Kidpester." Well that was the answer. He stayed in a room above the local bar so off the two of us went to check on Sally. Knock! Knock! Whose there? Open the door. open the door who? Open the door or I'll knock it down. Click! There'was Sally, the dogs, and of course, PerCy. "Wait, I want to talk to you two outside" said Percy before we could en- ter. "So what are you doing with Sally and why did you' sneak her off?" we ask the Pester. Percy retorted "Look, you guys!- I don't care who————--——that girl Open sesame.' is in there. (ie. spent time in a horizontal pos— ition next to her) .1 re— . ally get off on her and like her. I want her for myself and I want you to tell the boys that." It was clearly a case of lovehapitatius and we knew right away that“ there was no known cure for the disease and there was li— ttle we could do except oblige Percy to keep her and keep her away from the rest of us, in case we might catch the same di- sease. The two have been together ever since, se— emingly a perfectly match— ed couple. I Which brings me to the deep and significant con— clusion I mentioned. You never know where you're going to meet the woman or man you were meant to go through time with. So girls get out there and try to please. The man of your dreams could be in your bed tonight. So keep on loving and get it when you can or before you know it, you won't be able to get it anymore. Love and Kisses Sidney T.