UBEI SUN, Nov.25 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       VlEW 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     lllillllll 
     
    
   
   
    
     4___.___._——-——— ~.' 
     
    
   
   
    
     THE GOSPEL ACCDRDING 'IO 
     
     SAINI‘ CRANSI'ON 
     
    
   
   
    
     Book Two: A Story For The 
     
     People. 
     
    
   
   
    
     It came to pass one day ‘ 
     
    
   
   
    
     that the good Saint Cranston 
     
    
   
   
    
     was speaking onto the 
     
     masses, when a poor, wit— 
     
     less Artsie didst ask him, 
     
     "Why is it that the 
     
     Engineers and the Bio— 
     
     logists doth reside in the 
     
     same building?" (he meant 
     
     the Duffy Building, but 
     
     in his stupidity, he 
     
     remembered not its name.) 
     
     And thus it came to pass 
     
     that Saint Cranston didst 
     
     pass the parable of the _ 
     
     two sons unto the people. 
     
    
   
   
    
     "Long years ago," He didst 
     
     begin, "There was a poor 
     
     farmer from Souris, Whose 
     
     wife did bear unto him 
     
     two sons. As they grew, 
     
     the sons competed for 
     
     everything, and agreed 
     
     upon  And the 
     
     farmer felt sorrow, for 
     
     he loved his sons dearly. 
     
     "And so he sent his sons 
     
     out into the world, 
     
     to make something of 
     
     themselves. Many years 
     
     didst pass, and the 
     
     farmer grew old. Then 
     
     one day, the elder 
     
     son returned. 
     
     "He had enjoyed years of 
     
     wine, women, song, 
     
     and more women. He didst 
     
     e of many mind— 
     
     bending substances, 
     
     yet he still made a 
     
     great success of himself. 
     
     His father was very proud 
     
     of him, for he had built 
     
     many bridges, and other 
     
     impressive structures. 
     
     And it was indeed good. 
     
     "Soon after, the younger 
     
     son returned, He had 
     
     studied endlessly, and 
     
     avoided alcohol and all 
     
     social gatherings. And 
     
     yet he was a dismal 
     
     failure, for all he 
     
     didst know was the 
     
     arrangement of a pig's 
     
     bowels. And yea. verily, 
     
     his poor father was 
     
     ashamed of him, for he 
     
     wished no Offspring of 
     
    
   
   
    
     his to be a lole biologist. 
     
    
   
   
    
     ' clutch . 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     THE . 
     
    
   
   
    
     "Thus the farmer, who had 
     
     become rich by selling 
     
     the mushrooms that grew 
     
     in his garden to tourists, 
     
     did declare unto his sons: 
     
     'Thou, my eldest son, are 
     
     a wealthy, successful 
     
     engineer. Thou hast made 
     
     me proud ,to be thy father. 
     
     I shall reward' thee with 
     
     my best mushrooms, and 
     
     with the basement of my 
     
     house. Thou, my young 
     
    
   
   
    
     ‘ son, are a failure, and a 
     
    
   
   
    
     biologist. Thou hast 
     
     brought me shame," but 
     
     since I love thee, thou 
     
     shalt still be provided 
     
     for. Go then, and live 
     
     in the attic, and appear 
     
     not in public. "' 
     
    

    
     When Saint Cranston 
     
     finished speaking, the 
     
     crowd was-silent, awe- 
     
     struck. Then the same ‘ 
     
     witless Artsie spoke up, 
     
     asking what the story 
     
     meant. Even the 
     
     patience of a Saint has 
     
     its limits. Thus, Saint 
     
     Cranston spoke unto him, 
     
     saying, "Thou art: but a 
     
     stupid Artsie. Thou 
     
     wouldst not understan ." 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     What do you call a‘leper 
     
     in a Jacuzzi? Stew. 
     
    
   
   
    
     Why did the leper fail ' 
     
     his drivers test?” He 
     
     left his foot on the 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     ENGINEERS 
     
    
   
   
    
     .‘_  AQUEY, 
     
    
   
   
    
        
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     Down in the dark, damp, 
     
     depths of the old Duffy 
     
     there once was a certain 
     
     Biology Professor who 
     
     was performing diabolical 
     
     research. It was rumoured 
     
    
   
   
    
     . he had created a new form 
     
    
   
   
    
     of life, lower than 
     
    
   
   
    
     any Artsie, Biology student: 
     
    
   
   
    
     or Business student. This 
     
    
   
   
    
     ' was regarded as a threat 
     
    
   
   
    
     to the brave and intell- 
     
     igent Engineering students, 
     
     a'small-threat, but a threat 
     
     never the less. After 
     
    

    
     a few seconds of secret 
     
     planning, our heroes-locked 
     
     our foul—mouthed Dr. in. 
     
    
   
   
    
     ‘ ‘his little lab with his 
     
    
   
   
    
     disggvery. Man, did he 
     
     ever flip out, with only 
     
    
   
   
    
     ' :superhtman effort did he 
     
    
   
   
    
     escape. Beware out there, 
     
     we arenever safe again. 
     
     I think he's out to get us. 
     
    
   
   
    
     What do all these people 
     
     have against us? Our , 
     
     column is the most read 
     
     most talked about and most 
     
     cri'tized in the whole Sun. A 
     
     We would really appreciate 
     
     if half a dozen or so 
     
     goody- goody- two -sh°es 
     
     would  UP! Face it, 
     
     you're in university now, 
     
     not grade school. If 
     
    
   
   
    
     E32262 
     
    
   
   
    
     A plot of land, 7 ft. 
     
    

    
     by 2 ft. 
     
    

    
     Also wanted-extra large 
     
     headstone. 
     
    

    
     Pick, lshovel and r 
     
     wheelbarrow needed as 
     
     well. 
     
    

    
     Contact: Tony "Help me 
     
     dig my own grave" Carroll 
     
     as soon as’possible. 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     War me ya 
     
    
   
   
    
     paws Arr“ THE PARTY? 
     
    
   
   
    
     ~~ r 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     ‘Aee' 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     what—you read in out 
     
     column "offends you so 
     
     much..." don't read it! 
     
    
   
   
    
     , Take it upon yourselves 
     
    
   
   
    
     to clean up the world, 
     
     write senators, doctors, 
     
     priests, write to the 
     
     Prime Minister. If. you 
     
     can't handle a few put- 
     
     downs or wise cracks, 
     
     you better seek profes- 
     
     sional help, because if 
     
     you don't you'll have a 
     
     very miserable and painful 
     
     life. Because it's not 
     
     ust us, it‘s all around ‘ 
     
    
   
   
    
     you. 
     
    
   
   
    
     iViewFrumthe'Ibpisa. 
     
    
   
   
    
     weekly publication of ' 
     
     the pPEI Engineering ‘ 
     
     Society, and is 
     
     consistently sexist, 
     
     prurient,   taste 
     
     and sloppily produced - 
     
     without visiblé'oon'cérh‘ 
     
     for professional standards. 
     
     Opinions published ’are f 
     
     not necessarily those of 
     
     the Engineering SoCiety 
     
     nor of any other body, 
     
    

    
     nor are they probably 
     
    
   
   
    
     . opinions at all. _ 
     
     'Editor: Cranston Snord: ' 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     Don’t Wait... . 
     
    
   
   
    
     ' w 
     
    
   
   
    
         
     
       
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     . . 
     
    
   
   
    
     "t 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     ' Animals often suffer because people 
     
     delay in reporting abuse and neglect. 
     
     Some of these animals‘die needlesle- 
     
    
   
   
    
     If you know of an animal being treated 
     
     cruelly. call your local animal agency at 
     
     the number beIOw. Your anonymity is 
     
     guaranteed. . 
     
    
   
   
    
     Don't wait until it’s too late to report 
     
     animal cruelty. The animals can’t wait 
     
     much longer 'for help—their lives depend 
     
     on you. 
     
     Call... ‘help us help animals 
     
    
   
   
    
     The P.E.|. HUMANE SOCIETY 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     Hazelbrook, P.E.I. 
     
     ‘ w __ . W Id~flIelephone§569~3496l day .of  
     
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