Mullets,
      hotdogs,
      Shinerama,
     
     
      eird
      noises,
      Lamas
      (that’s
      right
      -
      only
     
     
      e
      “]”),
      an
      old
      lady
      in
      tights,
      guys
      in
     
     
      esses,
      rubber
      chicken
      flinging,
     
     
      ackley
      Beach
      in
      the
      cold,
      New
      Kids
     
     
      the
      Block
      impersonators,
      sour
     
     
      aut,
      dog
      food,
      chants,
      and
      cheers:
     
     
      nese
      are
      just
      a
      few
      memories
      that
     
     
      and
      out
      from
      my
      experience
      with
     
     
      ew
      Student
      Orientation
      2001
      (NSO).
     
     
      course,
      I
      could
      talk
      about
      the
      great
     
     
      ngs
      we
      accomplished
      this
      year:
      an
     
     
      iting
      atmosphere
      for
      new
      students,
     
     
      600
      raised
      for
      cystic
      fibrosis,
      and
     
     
      any
      new
      friendships
      blossoming
      in
     
     
      e
      breeze.
      But
      that’s
      only
      a
      small
      part
     
     
      what
      NSO
      was
      all
      about.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      VP
      Campaigns
      and
      Communications
     
     
      Caolan
      Moore
      demonstrates
      to
      a
     
     
      new
      student
      how
      he
      got
      elected.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      NSO
      at
      the
      beach.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      I
      can’t
      imagine
      what
      it
      was
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      like
      for
      a
      new
      student.
      The
      random
     
     
      selection
      of
      teams,
      and
      the
      fate
      of
      all
     
     
      who
      joined
      them,
      was
      decided
      by
      the
     
     
      colour
      of
      the
      bandana
      that
      was
      thrown
     
     
      your
      way.
      Whether
      you
      were
      a
      Super
     
     
      Cougar,
      Mojo
      Monkey,
      or
      Hungry
     
     
      Buzzard
      your
      alliance
      with
      a
      particular
     
     
      group
      of
      lunatics
      for
      the
      next
      five
      days
     
     
      depended
      on
      a
      simple
      bandana.
     
    

    
     
      Teams
      racked
      up
      points
      in
      dif-
     
     
      ferent
      events
      by
      demonstrating
      their
     
     
      school
      spirit
      and
      creativity
      through
     
     
      activities
      and
      cheers.
      The
      sand
      sculpt-
     
     
      ing
      and
      races
      at
      the
      beach
      were
      so
     
     
      much
      fun
      that
      even
      the
      leaders
      were
     
     
      tired
      out
      before
      returning
      to
      the
      uni-
     
     
      versity
      for
      Playfair.
      Enter
      an
      old
      lady
     
     
      in
      tights
      leading
      the
      hugest
      group
     
     
      activity
      I’ve
      ever
      seen.
      As
      an
      NSO
     
     
      leader
      myself,
      I
      thought
      this
      was
      a
     
     
      pretty
      sweet
      time.
      Everyone
      partici-
     
     
      pated;
      anyone
      who
      requested
      one
      got
      a
     
     
      standing
      ovation,
      and
      everyone
      was
     
     
      treated
      equally.
     
    

    
     
      The
      entire
      week
      following
      the
     
     
      opening
      day
      was
      great.
      The
      game
     
     
      show
      parody,
      Tribal
      Feud,
      was
      a
      huge
     
     
      success,
      having
      the
      new
      students
      work
     
     
      together
      in
      their
      teams
      to
      guess
     
     
      answers
      to
      questions.
      The
      Absolutely-
     
     
      No-Talent-Show
      was
      _
      absolutely
     
     
      wacky,
      with
      the
      Crazy
      Lamas
      team
     
     
      performing
      a
      safari
      which
      included
      a
     
     
      real
      live
      llama
      (courtesy
      of
      the
      Gouda
     
     
      Cheese
      Lady).
      And
      nobody
      will
      forget
     
     
      how
      the
      Shorty-Longbacks
      sacrificed
     
     
      a
      blond
      haired
      first
      year
      student
      to
     
     
      their
      clan
      by
      chopping
      her
      hair
      into
      a
     
     
      mullet.
      Apparently,
      this
      was
      her
      own
     
     
      enthusiastic
      decision
      to
      help
      her
      team
     
     
      leap
      ahead
      in
      the
      competition.
      She
     
    
   
   
    
     
      responded
      to
      her
      new
      mullet
      cut
      with:
     
     
      “It’s
      not
      just
      a
      haircut,
      it’s
      a
      lifestyle.”
     
     
      As
      if
      that
      weren’t
      enough,
      the
      evening
     
     
      closed
      with
      a
      murder
      mystery
      by
      Steve
     
     
      Forbes.
     
    

    
     
      Shinerama
      2001
      was
      a
      big
     
     
      success:
      $6600
      was
      raised
      for
      cystic
     
     
      fibrosis.
      NSO
      participants
      canvassed
     
     
      the
      city
      with
      donation
      boxes
      and
      shoe
     
     
      shiners
      in
      hand.
      But
      shoe
      shining
      was
     
     
      not
      all
      that
      was
      done
      for
      money.
     
     
      Students
      danced
      jigs,
      sang
      (“I’m
      a
      lit-
     
     
      tle
      teapot’)
      and
      were
      taped
      to
      poles
      in
     
     
      order
      to
      encourage
      sandal-wearing
     
     
      bystanders
      to
      donate
      too.
     
    

    
     
      I
      can’t
      even
      explain
      on
      paper
     
     
      the
      messy
      wonder
      of
      the
      Adventure
     
     
      Explosion.
      Food,
      slides,
      Jell-O,
      and
     
     
      one
      lucky
      cod.
      This
      wild
      obstacle
     
     
      course
      was
      probably
      the
      roughest
      part
     
     
      of
      the
      week,
      if
      not
      the
      stinkiest.
     
     
      Participants
      had
      to
      go
      down
      a
      slide
      of
     
     
      water,
      dish
      soap,
      and
      maybe
      a
      little
      bit
     
     
      of
      ketchup
      (I
      might
      add
      that
      this
      com-
     
     
      bination
      of
      cleaning
      products
      and
     
     
      condiments
      allows
      you
      to
      pick
      up
     
     
      amazing
      speed.).
      Then
      to
      a
      pool
      full
      of
     
     
      Jell-O
      and
      marshmallows
      to
      pick
      a
     
     
      water
      balloon
      out
      with
      your
      teeth,
      fol-
     
     
      lowed
      by
      a
      tunnel
      of
      mayonnaise,
      peas
     
     
      (not
      my
      personal
      favourite),
      relish
      and
     
     
      other
      unidentified
      stuff.
      The
      mess
      was
     
     
      not
      so
      bad,
      until
      it
      was
      followed
      by
     
     
      maple
      syrup
      and
      flour.
      Next,
      a
      tub
      that
     
     
      I
      didn’t
      venture
      into:
      There
      was
      some-
     
     
      thing
      about
      the
      cod
      floating
      in
      it
      that
     
     
      discouraged
      me
      from
      entering.
      This
     
     
      was
      followed
      by
      climbing
      up
      a
      slip-
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Confessions
      of
      an
      NSO
      Leader
     
    
   
   
    
     
      By
      Carrie
      MACLELLAN
     
    
   
   
    
     
      pery
      slide
      of
      assorted
      slimes,
      only
      to
     
     
      fall
      into
      an
      unpleasant
      pool
      of
      liquid
     
     
      with
      dog
      food,
      pickles,
      olives,
      and
     
     
      other
      products.
      There
      was
      sour
      kraut
     
     
      somewhere
      too.
     
    

    
     
      Next
      up
      was
      the
      hypnotist.
     
     
      NSO
      coordinator
      Chris
      Power
      booked
     
     
      “Sailesh”
      for
      a
      supposedly
      clean
      show
     
     
      of
      good
      old
      fashion
      hypnotism.
      What
     
     
      followed
      was
      a
      night
      of
      good
      laughs
     
     
      and
      disgusted
      groans.
      The
      concept
      of
     
     
      a
      clean
      show
      was
      completely
      aban-
     
     
      doned
      after
      a
      few
      students
      were
      put
      in
     
     
      compromising
      positions.
     
    

    
     
      Rounding
      out
      the
      end
      of
      NSO
     
     
      was
      the
      Big
      Island
      House
      Party
      which
     
     
      saw
      lots
      of
      fun
      and
      dancing
      with
      new
     
     
      buddies
      made
      over
      the
      weekend.
     
     
      Thanks
      to
      some
      inflatable
      rental
      gear,
     
     
      new
      students
      also
      got
      the
      chance
      to
     
     
      kick
      their
      leaders’
      asses
      with
      huge
     
     
      boxing
      gloves,
      an
      inflatable
      sumo
      suit,
     
     
      or
      some
      rubber
      chickens.
      The
      inflat-
     
     
      able
      combat
      was
      fun,
      but
      for
      me,
     
     
      there’s
      nothing
      better
      than
      throwing
     
     
      yourself
      into
      a
      velcro
      wall
      while
      lis-
     
     
      tening
      to
      “Baby
      Got
      Back.”
      Perfect.
     
    

    
     
      Thursday
      ended
      with
      the
      fan-
     
     
      tastic
      Founder’s
      Day
      event,
      complete
     
     
      with
      the
      NSO
      chant
      led
      by
      President
     
     
      MacLaughlin
      and
      Chris
      Power.
      In
      the
     
     
      end,
      the
      winning
      team
      was
      the
      Shorty-
     
     
      Longbacks
      with
      their
      mullet-attitude
     
     
      and
      massive
      school
      spirit.
      On
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Thursday
      night
      everyone
      rocked
      out
      to
     
     
      the
      Burt
      Neilsen
      Band
      at
      the
      back
      to
     
     
      school
      pub,
      which
      sold
      out
      less
      than
     
     
      ten
      minutes
      after
      doors
      opened.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Ouchers.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      the
      cadre