Choice
      Cuts
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Only
      Two
      CD
      Reviews
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Album:
      Shreds
      of
      Dignity
     
     
      Artist:
      Pro-Pain.
     
     
      Label:
      Spitfire
      Records
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Uhh,
      yeah,
      well,
      I
      don’t
      know.
     
     
      They’re
      called
      Pro
      Pain.
      They
      bore
     
     
      me.
      Perhaps
      they
      will
      bore
      you.
      Give
     
     
      it
      a
      listen!
     
    

    
     
      -Jonah
      CAMPBELL
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Album:
      The
      Best
      Reggae
      Album
      in
      the
     
     
      world
      Ever!
     
    

    
     
      Artists:
      Various
     
    

    
     
      Label:
      EMI
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Christ...okay,
      my
      first
      reac-
     
     
      tion
      to
      this
      CD
      has
      to
      do
      with
      the
      fact
     
     
      that
      the
      cover
      sports
      a
      picture
      of
      a
     
     
      tropical
      beach
      paradise
      with
      a
      pair
      of
     
     
      finely
      tanned
      white
      woman’s
      feet
     
     
      crossed
      in
      the
      foreground.
      The
      impli-
     
     
      cations
      of
      sheer
      cultural
      imperialism
     
     
      alone
      are
      enough
      to
      turn
      my
      stomach.
     
     
      But
      hey,
      it’s
      not
      like
      I
      should
      expect
     
     
      the
      average
      music
      consumer
      to
      be
     
     
      aware
      of
      (or
      even
      sympathetic
      to)
      the
     
     
      legacy
      of
      colonialism
      and
      racism
      to
     
     
      which
      reggae
      was
      a
      response,
      and
      far
     
     
      be
      it
      from
      EMI
      to
      dispel
      anyone’s
     
     
      ideas
      about
      reggae
      (or
      rasta
      culture
      in
     
     
      general)
      by
      acknowledging
      it
      as
     
    
   
   
    
     
      something
      more
      than
      upbeat
      party
     
     
      tunes
      for
      white
      middle
      class
      college
     
     
      students
      and
      white
      collar
      forty-some-
     
    
   
   
    
     
      things
      to
      “jam
      out”
      to
      while
      they
      .
     
    
   
   
    
     
      pound
      back
      bad
      pot
      and
      Coors’
      Lites.
     
     
      Oh,
      those
      happy
      go
      lucky
      negroes
      ...
     
     
      Anyhoo,
      on
      to
      the
      contents
      of
      the
      CD
     
     
      itself.
     
    

    
     
      There
      are
      actually
      a
      handful
     
     
      of
      really
      excellent
      and
      classic
      tracks
     
     
      here
      by
      the
      likes
      of
      Peter
      Tosh,
      Jimmy
     
     
      Cliff,
      and
      Desmond
      Deckker
      and
      The
     
     
      Aces
      (and
      Bob
      Marley,
      but
      you
      know,
     
     
      duh.)
      but
      for
      the
      most
      part,
      these
      two
     
    
   
   
    
     
      _CDs
      are
      populated
      with
      some
      of
      the
     
    
   
   
    
     
      most
      ridiculous
      and
      turgid
      crap
      con-
     
     
      ceivable.
      If
      it
      wasn’t
      enough
      that
      we
     
     
      have
      to
      deal
      with
      Shaggy,
      Ini
     
     
      Kamooze,
      and
      Bloodfire
      Posse,
      the
     
     
      listener
      is
      also
      subjected
      UB40
      and
     
     
      Chrissie
      Hynde
      performing
      a
      rastafied
     
     
      version
      of
      “I
      Got
      You
      Babe”
      and
      the
     
     
      incomprehensible
      inclusion
      of
      Mick
     
     
      Jagger
      on
      one
      song.
      Who
      fuckin’
     
     
      knows?
      Not
      me.
      So
      in
      any
      case,
      the
     
     
      first
      couple
      of
      songs
      on
      each
      CD
      are
     
     
      actually
      pretty
      good,
      but
      under
      no
      cir-
     
     
      cumstances
      would
      I
      advocate
      that
     
     
      someone
      buy
      this
      CD.
      EMI
      can
      go
      to
     
     
      hell.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      -Jonah
      CAMPBELL
     
    
   
   
    
     
      PRO-PAIN
      |
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Shreds
      Of
      Dignity
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Stark
      Raving
      Sane:
     
     
      On
      My
      Intelligence
     
    
   
   
    
     
      by
      Catherine
      SWEET
     
    
   
   
    
     
      I’ve
      recently
      had
      a
      revelation.
     
     
      It
      wasn’t
      one
      of
      those
      revelations
      that
     
     
      causes
      people
      to
      go
      live
      an
      ascetic
      life
     
     
      in
      a
      desert
      somewhere,
      but
      I
      have
      been
     
     
      affected
      nonetheless.
      As
      most
      people
     
     
      who
      have
      spent
      more
      than
      five
      min-
     
     
      utes
      with
      me
      know,
      I
      am
      not
      the
      deep
     
     
      sort.
      I
      take
      things
      as
      they
      are
      and
      do
     
     
      not
      read
      anything
      very
      philosophical
     
     
      into
      them.
      I
      prefer
      to
      stock
      my
      bank
      of
     
     
      knowledge
      with
      cold,
      hard
      facts.
      I
      had
     
     
      never
      thought
      of
      this
      as
      a
      problem
     
     
      until
      recently.
      I’ve
      come
      to
      the
      real-
     
     
      ization
      that
      I’m
      not
      as
      smart
      as
      |
     
     
      thought
      I
      was.
     
    

    
     
      Now,
      had
      I
      considered
      myself
     
     
      dim-witted
      and
      then
      realised
      I
      was
     
     
      actually
      quite
      clever,
      I
      would
      not
     
     
      dwell
      so
      much
      on
      this
      change
      in
      self-
     
     
      identity.
      Unfortunately,
      I
      have
      always
     
     
      considered
      myself
      to
      be
      smarter
      than
     
     
      the
      average
      bear.
      Consequently,
      I
     
     
      think
      I’m
      having
      my
      first
      identity
      cri-
     
     
      sis.
      Do
      the
      cold,
      hard
      facts
      I
      crave
     
     
      make
      me
      a
      cold,
      hard
      person?
      Does
     
     
      this
      mean
      I
      have
      to
      stop
      enjoying
     
     
      Shakespeare
      and
      start
      watching
     
     
      American
      daytime
      television?
      Should
     
     
      I
      dive
      head
      first
      into
      my
      mental
      medi-
     
     
      ocrity,
      or
      live
      in
      a
      state
      of
      denial?
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Another
      question
      I’m
      forced
     
     
      to
      pose
      is:
      Have
      people
      around
      me
      all
     
     
      these
      years
      known
      that
      I’m
      dull
      and
     
     
      talked
      down
      to
      me?
      Was
      my
      self-
     
     
      aggrandizing
      a
      result
      of
      everyone
     
     
      dumbing-down
      conversations
      to
      my
     
     
      level?
      How
      do
      I
      even
      know
      words
      like
     
     
      self-aggrandizing?
      Is
      that
      even
      a
     
     
      word?
     
    

    
     
      The
      thing
      is,
      this
      whole
      reve-
     
    

    
     
      lation
      has
      turned
      me
      on
      my
      ear.
      I
     
     
      loathe
      not
      understanding
      things.
      If
      I
     
     
      don’t
      know
      how
      something
      works,
      I
     
     
      usually
      head
      to
      the
      library
      or
      the
     
     
      Internet
      and
      look
      it
      up.
      Why
      should
      I
     
     
      bother?
      I
      have
      come
      to
      the
      conclusion
     
     
      that
      ignorance
      truly
      is
      bliss.
     
     
      Before
      I
      figure
      this
      all
      out,
      I’m
      going
     
     
      to
      continue
      being
      out
      of
      my
      depth
      in
     
     
      my
      very
      philosophical
      class
      this
     
     
      semester
      and
      try
      my
      best
      to
      keep
      up
     
     
      with
      the
      conversation
      without
      my
     
     
      head
      exploding.
      Before
      each
      class,
      I
     
     
      resolve
      not
      to
      open
      my
      mouth.
      Then
      I
     
     
      proceed
      to
      open
      my
      mouth.
      Then
      I
     
     
      look
      like
      a
      jackass
      in
      front
      of
      every-
     
     
      one
      and
      resolve
      not
      to
      open
      my
      mouth
     
     
      again.
      It’s
      a
      nasty
      cycle.
      I
      bet
      a
     
     
      smarter
      person
      could
      keep
      their
      mouth
     
     
      shut.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      SU
      ELECTIONS!
     
    
   
   
    
     
      It’s
      Student
      Union
      election
      time,
     
    
   
   
    
     
      boys
      and
      girls.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Don’t
      forget
      to
     
    
   
   
    
     
      attend
      the
      Student
      Union
      General
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Meeting
      on
      Wednesday,
      March
      20
     
     
      at
      12:30
      PM
      to
      hear
      the
      candi-
     
    
   
   
    
     
      dates’
      speeches.
      And
      don’t
      forget
     
     
      to
      vote
      between
      March
      25
      and
      28.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
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