Editor.
      Stephan
      knows
      shit
      about
      art,
      but
      he’s
      got
      the
      entertain-
     
     
      ment
      bit
      down
      cold.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      “Joel
      Meggs”
     
    

    
     
      Christmas
      Blend
      is
      The
      Cadre’s
      Copy
      Editor.
      Feel
      free
      to
      com-
     
     
      plain
      about
      any
      typos,
      grammatical
      errors
      and
      whatnot
      to
      him.
     
     
      When
      he
      protests
      and
      tells
      you,
      “But
      I
      never
      even
      saw
      that
     
     
      before
      it
      was
      printed;
      nobody
      showed
      it
      to
      me!”
      you
      should
     
     
      probably
      believe
      him,
      but
      pretend
      like
      you
      don’t.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      “Hawktaler
      Couchtard”
     
    

    
     
      Luke
      Leunes
      has
      loaned
      his
      design
      talent
      to
      The
      Cadre
      in
      past
     
     
      years.
      Now
      he
      writes
      educational
      foreign
      language
      cartoons
      and
     
     
      designs
      floats
      for
      parades.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      “Tea
      and
      a
      Warm
      Sweater”
     
    

    
     
      Charlottetown
      was
      too
      small
      for
      Mike
      Lecky,
      so
      he
      left
      for
     
     
      warmer
      climes.
      He
      rarely
      follows
      Their
      advice,
      but
      he’s
      always
     
     
      listening
      just
      the
      same.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      “Frozen
      Balls”
     
    

    
     
      Adam
      Gauthier
      is
      a
      solid
      goaltender;
      scouting
      reports
      suggest
     
     
      to
      go
      for
      the
      5-hole.
      Maybe
      a
      little
      higher.
      Adam
      is
      The
      Cadre
      s
     
     
      Sports
      Editor
      and
      anchor
      of
      The
      Cadre
      trivia
      team.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      “Santa
      W.
      Bush”
     
     
      Brad
      Deighan
      probably
      shouldn’t,
      but
      he
      usually
      does,
      and
     
     
      we’re
      ever
      so
      grateful.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      “Aboard
      The
      H.M.C.S.
      Charlottetown”
      .
     
    

    
     
      Ordinary
      Seaman
      Jacob
      McCabe
      lived
      on
      Prince
      Edward
     
     
      Island
      and
      graduated
      from
      Charlottetown
      Rural
      High
      School
      in
     
     
      1998.
      He
      then
      joined
      the
      Canadian
      Navy
      and
      is
      currently
      serving
     
     
      his
      country
      aboard
      the
      H.M.C.S.
      Charlottetown,
      located
      some-
     
     
      where
      near
      the
      Arabian
      Sea.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      “Holiday
      Gifts
      and
      Gizmos”
     
    

    
     
      Bill
      Mathews
      designed
      this
      year’s
      most
      sought
      after
      issue
      of
     
     
      The
      Cadre
      -
      our
      tribute
      to
      Ernie
      Coombs.
      He
      is
      unsure
      whether
     
     
      he
      should
      take
      any
      credit
      for
      the
      centre
      spread.
      He
      should.
     
    

    
     
      LL
      Coolbreeze
      is
      a
      mad
      scientist
      and
      leader
      of
      the
      infamous
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Windom
      Earle.
      Catch
      them
      live
      on
      December
      29th
      at
      Brennan’s
     
     
      with
      Eyes
      for
      Telescopes.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      “The
      Adventures
      of
      Cap’n
      Steph’n”
     
    

    
     
      Jeff
      Coll
      is
      The
      Cadre’s
      Production
      Manager
      and
      is
      responsible
     
     
      for
      the
      nifty
      layout
      you
      see
      before
      you.
      Right
      now,
      at
      this
      very
     
     
      moment
      he
      is
      asking,
      “Why?
      Why
      do
      I
      do
      this?”
      Because
      he’s
     
    
   
   
    
     
      damn
      good
      at
      it.
      Jeff
      is
      worried
      you’ll
      think
      the
      ordering
      of
      this
     
     
      stories
      reflects
      a
      judgement
      on
      their
      quality.
      Occasionally,
      even
     
     
      Jeff
      is
      wrong.
     
    

    
     
      Matthew
      Dorrell
      and
      Stephan
      MacLeod
      have
      enough
      written
     
     
      about
      them
      here
      already.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      “Several
      Small
      Yet
      Significant
      Disasters”
     
    

    
     
      Matthew
      Dorrell
      is
      the
      Editor-in-Chief
      of
      The
      Cadre.
      This
      is
     
     
      him
      speaking
      to
      you
      presently,
      awkwardly
      introducing
      himself,
     
     
      and
      trying
      to
      figure
      out
      how
      to
      gracefully
      switch
      to
      speaking
      in
     
     
      the
      first
      person.
     
    

    
     
      This
      is
      the
      first
      sentence
      which
      occurred
      to
      me
      when
      I
     
     
      contemplated
      writing
      about
      Christmas;
      consider
      it
      “Small
      Yet
     
     
      Significant
      Disaster
      #8”:
     
    

    
     
      “The
      dog
      is
      quietly
      and
      nonchalantly
      chewing
      on
      the
     
     
      Christmas
      ornaments
      that
      hang
      from
      the
      lower
      branches
      while
     
     
      pissing
      on
      the
      floor
      —
      supremely
      confused,
      though
      obviously
     
     
      very
      excited,
      by
      the
      presence
      of
      a
      tree
      in
      the
      living
      room.”
     
    

    
     
      So
      I
      decided
      not
      to
      write
      about
      Christmas.
      Which
      brings
     
     
      me
      conveniently,
      if
      not
      convincingly,
      to
      the
      question
      of
      whether
     
     
      this
      is,
      or
      is
      not
      the
      “Christmas
      Issue,”
      the
      “Holiday
      Issue,”
      or
     
     
      something
      similar.
     
    

    
     
      The
      problem
      was,
      and
      is,
      that
      there
      were
      simply
      too
     
     
      many
      and
      varied
      pieces
      of
      writing
      submitted.
      There
      were
     
     
      attempts
      -
      brave,
      noble
      attempts
      -
      made
      to
      categorize
      the
      stories
     
     
      by
      their
      Holidayishness,
      by
      their
      Christmasesquery,
      all
      with
      lit-
     
     
      tle
      success.
     
    

    
     
      You
      just
      can’t
      tell
      by
      the
      titles.
      The
      disgusting
      “Santa
      W.
     
     
      Claus,”
      (disgusting
      in
      an
      admirable
      sort
      of
      way)
      for
      example,
     
     
      could
      be
      about
      Christmas,
      but
      it
      isn’t;
      not
      really.
      And
      neither
      is
     
     
      “Christmas
      Blend.”
      “Frozen
      Balls”
      doesn’t
      sound
      like
      a
      holiday
     
     
      story,
      but
      it
      is;
      at
      least
      partly.
      “What
      Do
      You
      See
      When
      You
     
     
      Draw?”
      and
      “The
      Gift
      of
      Reality”
      mention
      Christmas
      and
     
     
      Ramadan,
      but
      aren’t
      about
      the
      holiday
      season
      or
      any
      religious
     
     
      event.
      They
      are,
      if
      I
      can
      be
      forgiven
      for
      the
      suggestion,
      a
      little
     
     
      larger
      than
      that.
     
    

    
     
      If
      the
      contents
      can’t
      be
      easily
      categorized
      by
      title,
      it
     
     
      seems
      there’s
      little
      choice
      left
      but
      to
      read
      each
      one;
      to
      decide
     
     
      where
      they
      fit
      yourself.
      But
      you
      saw
      that
      coming,
      didn’t
      you?
     
    

    
     
      Sit
      down.
      Drag
      the
      chair
      into
      the
      centre
      of
      the
      room
      so
     
     
      you
      can
      recline
      all
      the
      way
      back.
      Perhaps
      not
      in
      that
      order.
      Grab
     
     
      some
      eggnog
      and
      some
      spiced
      rum,
      if
      you
      are
      so
      inclined.
      Even
     
     
      better,
      find
      some
      tea
      and
      pull
      on
      a
      warm
      sweater.
      Consult
      the
     
     
      “Top
      50
      LPs
      in
      No
      Particular
      Order”
      and
      put
      some
      music
      on.
     
     
      Start
      reading.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Matthew
      Dorrell,
     
     
      Editor-In-Chief