VIEW Et 
     
    
   
   
    
        
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
        
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     THE 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     ENGINEER'S 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     SELF ANALYSIS BY 
     
     URINATION 
     
    
   
   
    
     You c; 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     confidential files of Hoo -Flung Dung, eminent psychologist, 
     
     philosopher, and professional pervert. 
     
    
   
   
    
     SELF ANALYSIS BY URINATION: 
     
     ARE YOU ONE OR MORE OF THE FOLLOWING? 
     
    
   
   
    
     a 
     
    
   
   
    
     INDIFFERENT: All urinals being used, goes in sink. 
     
    
   
   
    
     (2) SOCIABLE: Joins friends in a urinal whether he has to go 
     
     or not. 
     
    
   
   
    
     (3) CROSS-EYED: Looks into urinal on the left, urinates into 
     
     the centre, flushes one on right. 
     
    
   
   
    
     (4) NOSEY: Looks into next urinal to see how other guy is 
     
     fixed. 
     
    
   
   
    
     (5) DRUNK: Holds thumb in right hand, urinates in pants. 
     
    
   
   
    
     (6) EXCITABLE: Shorts ‘half-twisted around, cannot find a 
     
    
   
   
    
     hole. 
     
    

    
     (7) WORRIED: Not sure of what he has been into lately, 
     
     makes quick inspection. 
     
    

    
     (8) FRIVOLOUS: Plays’ stream up and down and across 
     
     urinal, tries to hit floor. 
     
    

    
     (9) ABSENT-MINDED: Opens vest, pulls out tie, goes in pants. 
     
    
   
   
    
     (10) DISGRUNTLED: Stands for awhile, gives up, goes away. 
     
     (11) SNEAKY: Releases air silently while leaking. 
     
    
   
   
    
     (12) CHILDLISH: Leaks maikectly into bottom of urinal, likes 
     
     to see bubbles. 
     
    
   
   
    
     (13) PATIENT: Stands very close for a long time, waiting, 
     
     reads newspaper with free hand. 
     
    
   
   
    
     (14) DESPERATE: Waits, in jong line, teeth floating, goes in 
     
     pants. 
     
    
   
   
    
     tell a lot about a person by how he urinates in a 
     
     public washroom. The following report was leaked from the 
     
    
   
   
    
     A lot has happened in the 
     
     past two weeks. We engineers 
     
     had our famous Engineers 
     
     Cornboil and the first of our 
     
     Legendary Engineering Pubs 
     
     for the year. It was a thrilling 
     
     two weeks indeed. 
     
    

    
     The cornboil went off with- 
     
     out a hitch. There was plenty 
     
     of corn and plenty of other 
     
     necessities as well. The engi- 
     
     neering initiation went off well 
     
     too. I’d describe it here, but 
     
     the arcane rites of the engi- 
     
     neering initiation are best not 
     
     described in such a reputable 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     Ble WEEKLY 
     
    
   
   
    
     ENGINEWS 
     
    
   
   
    
     publication as The Gem. All 
     
     the freshmen engineers were 
     
     initiated and many of the third 
     
     year engineers were thrown in 
     
     the lake and most of the second 
     
     years spent their time molest- 
     
     ing a pink flamingo lawn orna- 
     
     ment that was leaking a pecu- 
     
     lair golden fluid. A fantastic 
     
     (if hard to remember) time was 
     
     had by all. 
     
    

    
     The Engineering Pub was a 
     
     successful as ever. We packed 
     
     the Barn a couple of times 
     
     over and provided an exciting 
     
     night of cultural stimulation 
     
    
   
   
    
     MOviE OF THE MONTH: 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     for the throngs of partiers 
     
     there. The spirits ... I mean ... 
     
     the spirit of the pub was really 
     
     evident in everybody. The pub 
     
     was a smashed ... I mean ... 
     
     smashing success! 
     
    

    
     We would like to take this 
     
     moment to thank the Biology 
     
     Society, who bravely manned 
     
     (and womanned) the coat 
     
     check for us at the pub. You 
     
     really contributed to the excess 
     
    

    
     - I mean ... success of the 
     
     pub. You should congratulate 
     
     yourselves. 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     THE BIOS... 
     
     THEY ne D SMALL, FUZZY 
     
    
   
   
    
     ALS... 
     
    
   
   
    
     THEY MOLESTED THE DEAD... 
     
    
   
   
    
     THEN 
     
     THEY WENT TOO FAR. 
     
    
   
   
    
     (15) FAT: Has to back up and take a long shot, misses, goes 
     
     on shoe. 
     
    
   
   
    
     (16) TOUGH: Bangs penis against urinal to dry it. 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     (17) EFFICIENT: Waits until he has to defacate, then does. 
     
    
   
   
    
     (as) TIMID: Cannot urinate if someone is watching, flushes 
     
     urinal as if he has already used it. 
     
    
   
   
    
     “THEY DIED wir 1 THEIR 
     
     RUBBER BOO 
     
    
   
   
    
     (19) LITTLE: Stands on box, falls in, and drowns. A wore. ABOUT A aoe 
     
    
   
   
    
     (20) DREAMER: Thinks it is a urinal, but it is really your STARRING: THE BIOS Comiwe SOON 
     
     sess PRODUCED : By aqcipENT TO A THEATRE 
     
     DIRECTED * By THE WIND NEAR YOU. 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     EXECUTED: BY THE ENGINEERS