Dead
      Letter
      Office
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      the
      cinephile:
     
     
      love
      it
     
     
      Dear
      DLO:
     
    
   
   
    
     
      I
      was
      horrified
      by
      a
      serious
     
     
      omission
      in
      the
      October
      12"
     
     
      (or
      13")
      edition
      of
      the
     
     
      Cadre.
      My
      favourite
      part
      of
     
     
      the
      Cadre
      these
      past
      few
     
     
      weeks
      has
      been
      “the
     
     
      cinephile,”
      written
      by
      that
     
     
      frightfully
      well-opinioned
     
     
      Jeff
      Coll
      fellow.
      I
      was
      so
     
     
      looking
      forward
      to
      reading
     
     
      his
      opinions-on
      all
      the
      latest
     
     
      films,
      but
      much
      to
      my
     
     
      dismay,
      he
      was
      nowhere
      to
     
     
      be
      found
      within
      the
      pages
      of
     
     
      the
      Cadre.
      I
      am
      sure
      that
      ~
     
     
      Mr.
      Coll
      would
      not
      abandon
     
     
      us,
      leaving
      that
      Hollywood-
     
     
      blaming
      cartoon
      fellow
      in
     
     
      the
      Buzz
      (who,
      might
      I
      add,
     
     
      could
      not
      identify
      a
      good
     
     
      film
      if
      it
      came
      out
      of
      his
     
     
      rectal
      area)
      as
      the
      sole
      film
     
     
      reviewer
      in
      print
      on
      PEI.
      At
     
     
      the
      very
      least,
      I
      was
      able
      to
     
     
      read
      Mr.
      Coll’s
      incredibly
     
     
      clever
      review
      of
      the
      new
     
     
      Puya
      album.
      One
      thing
      is
      for
     
     
      sure:
      Mr.
      Coll
      certainly
      has
     
     
      fine
      taste
      (unlike
      that
      Holly-
     
     
      wood-blaming
      cartoon
     
     
      fellow
      in
      the
      Buzz).
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Eagerly
      anticipating
      the
     
     
      return
      of
      “the
      cinephile.”
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Consuela
      Wilmington
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      the
      cinephile:
      hate
      it
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Dear
      DLO:
     
    
   
   
    
     
      I
      was
      pleased
      with
      a
      welcome
      .
     
    
   
   
    
     
      omission
      in
      the
      October
      12"
     
     
      (or
      13")
      edition
      of
      the
     
     
      Cadre.
      My
      least
      favourite
      part
     
     
      of
      the
      Cadre
      these
      past
      few
     
     
      weeks
      has
      been
      “the
     
     
      cinephile,”
      written
      by
      that
     
     
      frightfully
      badly-opinioned
     
     
      Jeff
      Coll
      fellow.
      I
      was
      so
     
     
      looking
      forward
      to
      seeing
      his
     
     
      inevitable
      downfall,
      and
     
     
      much
      to
      my
      delight,
      he
      was
     
     
      nowhere
      to
      be
      found
      within
     
     
      the
      pages
      of
      the
      Cadre.
      I
      am
     
     
      sure
      that
      Mr.
      Coll
      will
      be
     
     
      content
      with
      returning
      to
      his
     
     
      marginally
      better-paying
      job
     
     
      at
      Tim
      Hortons
      on
      Mt.
     
     
      Edward
      Road,
      leaving
      that
     
     
      Hollywood-blaming
      cartoon
     
     
      fellow
      in
      the
      Buzz
      (who,
     
     
      might
      I
      add,
      could
      identify
      a
     
     
      good
      film
      if
      it
      came
      out
      of
      his
     
     
      rectal
      area)
      as
      unquestionably
     
     
      the
      best
      film
      reviewer
      in
      print
     
     
      on
      PEI.
      Much
      to
      my
      dismay,
     
     
      I
      was
      subjected
      to
      read
      Mr.
     
     
      Coll’s
      incredibly
      terrible
     
     
      review
      of
      the
      new
      Puya
     
     
      album.
     
    

    
     
      One
      thing
      is
      for
      sure:
      Mr.
     
     
      Coll
      certainly
      has
      poor
      taste
     
     
      (unlike
      that
      Hollywood-
     
     
      blaming
      cartoon
      fellow
      in
      the
     
     
      Buzz).
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Eagerly
      anticipating
      to
      get
     
     
      back
      to
      Kansas.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Dorothy
      Gail
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Run
      with
      it
      Kay!
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Dear
      DLO:
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Was
      it
      just
      me,
      or
      was
     
    

    
     
      that
      Guy
      Gavriel
      Kay
     
     
      fellow
      a
      pretentious
      shit?
      I
     
     
      mean,
      I
      spent
      three
      minutes
     
     
      in
      the
      English
      Lounge
      with
     
     
      him
      and
      I
      had
      to
      leave
      for
     
     
      fear
      of
      strangling
      him.
      From
     
     
      the
      first
      moment
      Mr.
      Kay
     
     
      entered
      the
      room,
      he
     
     
      immediately
      established
      his
     
     
      superiority
      complex
      by
     
     
      complaining
      that
      Shake-
     
     
      speare
      in
      Love
      trivialized
      the
     
     
      accomplishments
      of
      au-
     
     
      thors.
      He
      went
      on
      to
      say
     
     
      that
      he,
      “had
      not
      seen
      so
     
     
      much
      running
      in
      a
      film
     
     
      since
      Chariots
      of
      Fire.”
      This
     
     
      only
      proves
      that
      he
      had
      not
     
     
      seen
      a
      film
      since
      1981,
     
     
      because
      we
      all
      know
      that
     
     
      Forrest
      Gump
      had
      much
     
     
      more
      running
      than
      Shake-
     
     
      speare
      in
      Love.
      My
      point
      is
     
     
      that
      all
      three
      films
      won
      the
     
     
      Academy
      Award
      for
      Best
     
     
      Picture
      in
      their
      respective
     
     
      years.
      This
      means
      that
      Run
     
     
      Lola
      Run
      is
      practically
     
     
      guaranteed
      to
      win
      Best
     
     
      Picture
      this
      year,
     
    

    
     
      because
      it
      had
      more
      running
     
     
      than
     
    

    
     
      the
      previous
      three
      films
     
     
      combined.
      I
      think
      Mr.
      Kay
     
     
      himself
      could
      be
      on
      the
     
     
      road
      to
      a
      Pulitzer
      Prize
      if
     
     
      only
      he
      let
      go
      of
      his
      inhibi-
     
     
      tions
      and
      wrote
      more
      about
     
     
      running.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Most
      humbly.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      the
      cinephile
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Guilty
      Parties:
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      bruyneel‘
      editerinchief
     
     
      haines:
      managingediter
     
     
      christie‘
      graphic
      design
     
     
      e'conner:
      akeediter
     
     
      macdonald:
      spertsediter
     
     
      walker:
      preductien
     
     
      murphy‘news
      editer
     
     
      muirtadvertisingugr
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Questiens,
      Preblezs,
     
     
      Letters,
      Submissions
     
     
      Threats
      ,Manifestes?
     
     
      Send
      them
      te:
     
    
   
   
    
     
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      The
      Cadre
      is
      pub
     
     
      lished
      by
      the
      Student
     
     
      Unien
      of
      U.P.E.1./The
     
     
      Cadre
      is
      a
      C.U.P.
     
     
      paper/The
      Cadre
      is
      the
     
     
      feunding
      member
      ef
      the
     
     
      Cadre
      Press
      Syadicate/
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Since
      1969