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B.—Orders from abroad, and the country wi!! -eceive promptattention. April 26, 1869 a MARINE INSU 0! i te HENRY J. GAFFNEY, M. D., ‘PHYSICIAN & SURGEON, OFFICE IN DesBrisay’s Block (nex? Apothecarie’s Hali,) QUEEN STREET, Resipence.—North American Hotel. Charlottetown, Aug 3, 1870. ‘MR. A. SMYTHE,» PROFESSURK UF MUSIC, las Removed his Academy to Water St,, (Opposite the late Teleg raph Ottice.) Pianoforte and Metodeon Tuning punc- tually attended to. } July 25, 1870. ly CARVELL BROTHERS, AUCTIONEERS, Commission Merchants, AND GENERAL AGENTS, BANK BUILDING, QUEEN STREET, Charlottetown, P. E. Island A. McNEILL, Reading Room Proprietor —SCOMMLSSIGT MSREMAE AND AUCTIONEER. CHARLOTTETOWN, March Zt, 1870. SETH D. SHAW, yr | A | Q@PFFICE—Comer of Great George and Dorchester Streets. pposite City Hotel, a Law Office by Charles Palmer, Esq., and recently by ‘I. J. Cundall, Esq. | Chartotietown, May 31,1369. tf | WILLIAM DODD, Commission Merchant and | AUCTIONEER, QUEEN SQUARE, CHARLOTTETOWN, P. E. ISLAND. RK A. HERMANS, Ball Hanger, Gun--and Tin-Swith, Berchesi.er Street, (Next to “ Examiner” Office.) j EGS toreturn histhanks to the general public forthe liberal patronage extended to him since his commeneement in business, and asks for a continuance of the same. He keepsconstanty on hand A neat Assortment of TINWABE, KITCHEN UTRNSHLS °° &e., &e., XC. ALL ORDERS in the above BUSINESS that way, will be punctually attended to. Business Cards, tterney-At-Law, Kc. Formerly occupied as | P. E.I. Having lately made large purchases in the) But olegs ‘you Jobauie, if you were to rig | JOURNAL OF 't ‘*This is true Liberty, when Freeborn Men, having to advise the Public, may speak free.’---Euripides. be Literature. o 7 a an ADOOOCCOOSLS SCODOOOOOBOAOOHOOSEOOGOGAA THE HiGHT At DAME EUROPA’S SCHOOL: Shewing how the German Boy thrash- ed the French Boy; and how tke English Boy looked on, | (Concluded ) Meanwhile, by Mark’s advice, William | ran of to the Brummagem Bruiser, who | put him up to all the latest dodges, and | exercised bim in the noble art to such good purpose that on bis first encounter with Lou's after breakfast the next morning be hit out a crushing blow from his shoulder | and knocked his enemy down. Louis was | soon on his legs again, aod he too did good execution with bis fists; tut be was clewrly | overmatched, and at the end of the first) round had been punished pretty severely, | “ Hot work, isn’t it, my Boy?’’ said | William, cheffing him as he mopped the perspiration from lis steaming forchead, “This is what you ca'l your Baptism of fire, 1 suppose, aye?’ Then he wrore home to his mother, on the back of a half. penny post card, so that all the letter car- riers might see how pious he was :—“ Dear Mamma, I| am fighting for my Fatherland as you know 1 call my garden, Lt is a fine name, and creates sympathy, Glorious news! Aided by Providence, [ have bit | Lou's in the eye, ‘Ihou may’st imagine bis feelings, Wht wonderful events has 'Heaven thus brought about! Your affec- tionate Son, Wiltiaw.,* Luce te caug ow} /bymo, and went on with his second round, | Meaawaile the other monitors looked quietly on, not knowing exact'y what to do, | * Uughtn’c I to iatertere 2?’ asked John, | add: essing one of his faithful fags, ‘© No,” said Billy, who was head fag, and twisted Johnnie round his finger, | * You just sit where you are, You will) ‘enly make a mess of it, and offend both of them. Give out that you are ‘neutral,’ ” Neutral!’ growled Joba, “ | hate neu-| trals, Lt seems to mea cold-b ooded cow- ardly thing to sit by and see two big fellows | ‘smash each other alito preces about nothing atall. They are both in the wrong, and the; ought not to fight. Let me go ip at them.” « No, no,” said Bobby, a clever fair- ‘haired Boy who kept John’s accounts, and | \tuok care of his money, You really can’t ‘afford it ; and besides you've got no clovhes ito go in. There is not a fellow in the school who wouldo’t laugh at you, if you, isto.d up in his garden, Sit still and grind | \away, od chap, and make some more money, | (and be thankful you live on an islaad, and | can take things easily” | 6 Wel,’’ eaid Joho sulkily, “1 don’t | half like it, though certuinly my c’othes are ‘uot very respectable, and there is no time | | vow to mend them. t« But look here, Bob; | | I mean to go across and help to sponge the | or beggars, if they get muuled.’’ ee You may do that, and welcome, plied Bobby. “ You will make no enemies | aud it may cost yoa perbaps | leighteenpenee iu Ointment and plas‘er, | p re- | | | Cheapest Markets, iatended for House Builders, | yoyrsel{.out well ‘enough to bold your owa | | such as Gas Fitting, Water Closets, |to fork cut « ten pound note or more.” Bel) Fittings, &., &c., lam prepared to SELL THEM at RATES | g'umpy bumour, for he bad always been | /AS LOW AS CAN BE HAD IN THE CITY, | 7 ischool, land will.fit themup in a good workmanlike sty | Toagenerous public, I would say, that a |Orders in THES ‘BRANCH OF MY BUSI NESS will be attended to with Despatch A Wetut Piret Ctass WADLR OOOLE hand. | SAYVER’S CRYSTAL BLUE, Sold Cheaper than ever. ' Tuly 12, 1869, RANCE. CANADA INSURANCE UNION, COMPRISING THE MONTREAL ASSURANCE COMPANY, Incorporated 1840. Capital and Cash Assets, $1,099,540 AND BRITISH AMERICA ASSURANCE CO., OF TORONTO. Established 1833. Capital and Cash Assets, Joint Policies, binding both the above Offices, issued on Vessels, upwards of - $500,000 Cargoes and Freights, to and from all ports of the commercial world $10,000 covered on First-class Risks. RATES MODERATE. Losses promptly adjusted and Paid in Cash. FENTON T. NEWBERY, Attorney. FIRE DEPARTMENT. IMPERIAL FIRE INSURANCE CO. Head Office, 1 Old Broad Street. London. Subscribed and Invested Capital, £1,965,000 Sterling. HANOVER FIRE INSURANCE CO. Head Office. 45 Wall Street, New York. Paid Up Capital, Surplus, Total Assets, 1st Jan’y, 1870, Risks against loss or damage by Fire accepted on every description of property. FENTON T. NEWBERY, General Agent for P, E. Island. | Charlottetown, April 25, 1870. . ate... es oe bes reek ROR SOO. 04 Apply to . 826,399 94 But not a foot would they stir. Aleck ‘agsinst Louis or Wil'iam, you would have | John went on with his work in rather a locked up to as the leading Boy in the) cud he did not like to play second | ifidde. He felt sure that if be bad been | jhalf so natty and well got up as he used to} RS Pi be; be wight have stopped the fight in a} j imomeut, Wor the next half bour be curged | | Billy and Bobby, and all the other sneaks | 'who had wormed themselves inte favour | 'with him, by teaching him to save mony. | |* Hang the money!’ growled Johnnie to biw- | iself; * I’d give up halfmy shop ‘to get my | luld prestige back again.” But it was to} ‘late now. Nevertheless be had his own} | way ubout the sponying, and certainly he! \did bebave well there. At the end of every | ‘round that was fought, he got across tha | stream, and bathed poor Louis’ bead for Ae | wanted help the most, and gave him sherry and water cut of his own flask, ‘1 am so very sorry fcr you, my dear Louis,’ ssid he, as the Boy, more dead than alive, strug- gled up to his fee: again. | * Thank you kindly, John,’ said Louis; ‘ but,’ be added, locking somewhat reproach- fully at bis friend, ‘why doo’t you separate us? Don’t you see that this great brute is too many jor me? I had no idea that be jeould fight !ike that.’ * What can I do? said John. «+ You began it, you know, and you really must fight it out, 1 haye no power.’ * So it seems,’ replied Louis. ‘ Ah there lene a time—well, thank vou kindly, John, | for—the sticking plaster.’ * Come on !’ shouted William, thirsting for more blood. ‘ Vive la guerre!’ cried poor Louis, rushing blindly at his foe, Welland nobly fought, but he could not stand bis ground. When he did hit, indeed, he bit to eome purpose ; but seidom could he reach out far enough todo any damage, Foot by foot aod yard by yard be gave way, till at last he was forced to take refuge io his arbour, from the window ef which he threw stones at his enemy, to keep him back from fol- lowing. Louis was plainly in the wrong. He ought to have calculated the other Boy’s strength before attacking him, and he de- served a licking for his ra:hoess. But ie had his licking now; and when William, who talked so big about his peaceable dis- position, and declared that be only wanted to defend bis ‘ fatherland,’ chased him right across the gas. o, trampling over beds and borderson his way, and then swore tbat he would treak down bis summei-house, and bring Louis on his knees, everybody felt that the other monitors ought te interfere looked on from a-tufe distance, wondering ‘which of the combatants would be tired first. Joseph stood shivering with fright, not daring to say a word,*):st William should turn round upon him, and thrash him again ; acd Jobo sat in his shop, grinding away like a nigger at a new rudder and a pair oi oars which he was cutting out for Louis’ ‘liam angrily, ‘float it in, as you may well know,’ 'make many friends by his neutrality. just look here,’ continued William,‘ do you down bis arbour, know where these cuts on my forehead came} to train hard for six months, and then pro-| Why, from stoves which you pitch-| pose something which is certain to create | Louis in despair from bis arbour. all dioner time, and starve you out, SERN ASSIS A GiAt Rn WY ICS, LITERATURE A — —————e ST ND EE him cordially, it lof the brook—for which service Louis would do, I hope you may find them. Take care ‘pay him bandsomely aud William abuse that William, the peaceable unaggressive — Boy, does not contrive (as I fully believe he ‘ 1 can’t help it,’ said John, apologetical-| will contrive) to get a footing on the river, one—that is, of course, if you will pay me well,’ | ily, * L’il make a rudder and some oars for where be can keep a boat, and then one fine |you too, and a boat besides, if you want morning take your pretty island by surprise.’ * It was Louis’ own fault, ma’am,’ ur, Joho, ‘He began it all. William was . But I don’t want one,’ answered Wil- ‘only deferding his Fathecland ’ *] bave got no water to from ? ed across the water for Louis to throw at| ® row. me,’ By the Dame coatemptuously. ‘which it will appear that Jobn did not like self-defence, to chass a Boy baif across ‘And the playground and then threaten to kick | | * Defend his Grandmctber!and !’ retorted ‘It looks very Very like self-defence, And although Louis has been io the wrong, he has also been pretty severely *Can’t help it, Bill; it is the law of punished, and it is time that he should be neutrality.’ * Neutrality, t relieved, What! Are those who make ndeed! [call it Brutality.’ mistakes never to be helped out of them ? And so Willium went across the garden| Is it any the less incumbent on the stiong again, leaving Johnnie at his work—of | to protect the weak, because the weak has which, however, he began to feel thoroughly | got himself into a mess by his own fault ? ashamed, ; j However, there is some excuse for William, ‘Qome and help a fellow, Joba,’ cried | who is half mad with the fever of success ; ‘i don’t) but there is no excuse for you, who have ask you to remember the days we bave| sat still in cold blood and looked on, You spent in here together, when you have been | have abused the trust committed to you as sick of your owa shop. desperate fix, and dcnu’t know which way ta | tura,’ ‘lam very sorry, Louis,’ said Jobn, ‘but what cau Ido? It is no pleasure to see you thrashed, On the contrary, it wou'd pay me much better to have a near veighbour well off and cheerful than ezusbed and miserable, Why don’t you givein, Louis? It is of no mortal use to go on, He will make fr'ecds directly if you wiil cud W'you'dout he wil ouly canaSh" your arbour to pieces or keep you shut up there Give in, old fellow. There’s no disgrace in it, Kverybody says how pluckily you have fought.’ ‘Give in!’ sneered Louis, ‘that is all the comfort you have fora fellows is it? Give in! why, would you give in, if that great brute was in frout of your shop, swearing that he would break it down? No disgrace, indeed! No, I don’t think there is any dis- grace in anything that J hava done; but though my dear dear arbuur that I have spent so many weeks in building should be pulled dowa about my ears and every flower in my garden be rooted up, [ would rot change places with you, Joho, sittirg there sleek and safe—no, not for all the gold that was ever coined! Give in, indced! Mon Diew! that L sheuld ever have beard such a word as that come across our little s:ream 1’ So Johnnie began to discover that, il iookers-on see the most of the game, they do not always get the most enjoyment out of it. But tbe bell now ranz for dinner, and he followed the rest of the Boys witb some anxiety, but being quite easy ia bis mizd as to the actount he wou'd have to give to Mrs, Europa of what had been going on. * Louis and William are very late to-day,’ observed the Dame, when dinner was half over. ‘ Does any one know where they are? And then bit by bit she learned trota some of the Boys sitting near her the whole story. ‘And pray. John, why did you not sepa- ra'e them ?’? dewanded the Dame. ‘ Please ma‘am,’ auswered Johnnie, ‘ I was a neutral,’ ‘A what, sir?’ said she, ‘A neutral, ma’am,’ Ju-t precisely what you bad no business to be,’ she returned. *¢ You were placed in authority in order that you might act, not that you might stand aloof from acting Any baby can do that. I might as well have wade4ittle Georgie here a monitor, if L had meant him to bave noth‘ng to do Neutral, indeed! Neutral is just a fine name ‘for Coward, Besides there is no euch thing, You must tace one side or the other, @o what you will, Now, which side did you take, 1 wonder? A titter rgn round the room, and the little Boys began to whisper to one another somethiag which seemed to be in their smal! estimation an excellent joke. Lt was good fun to them to see a mouitor badyered, even if they shou'd get paid out for it afterwards ‘Whai are you saying?’ said the Dame, * Both sides, aye? Well, and how did you manage that, Master Join” ‘Thre was some more tittering and whispering and shuffling about on the forms, and then a chorus of voices said, ‘ Please ’em, he sucked up to both of them,’ ‘ Just what ‘neutrals’ always do,’ said Mrs Europa; ‘sucked up to both, I eup- pose, aud pleased neither, Ah, no doubt,’ she continued, gradually gathering informa- tion, ‘offended Loyis by always preaching to him that be was in the wrong; and offended William, by supplying Louis with stones. Now, [tell you what it is, John. I have loag watched your career with pais, and have seen how you are content to sacrifice everything—duty, aud influence, aud bhonour,—for the sake of putting by a few paltry shillings. You bave been badly advised. You bave chosen to have about you @ set of fags who are no credit to anybody, simply because they make better bargains for you in the things you sell to the other Boys; avd now you see the conse- quence, Lf sucb fellows as Ben and Hugh had been your fags, you know very well that this disgraceful scene wou'd never have taken place «8 all, You should have been sufficiently well trained and well equipped to command the respect of the other monitors, and tbe two rivals would not have dared to come to blows. There was a time when, if you so much as held up your finger, the whole school would tremble, Nobody trembles now. Nobody cares one farthing what youthink or say, And why because you bave grown a sioven and @ screw, and Boys despise both the one and the other. You ought to bave prevented the fight from the very first. Failing this, you ought, in conjunction with the other i monitors, to have stepped in the moment. : t the Boys had proved their relative strength, find in the American disposition anything and struck a fair balance between them, Jike the turn for j»ke or repartee be has Instead of doing 80, you sit evoly in your been accustomed to at home, shop, supplyiug the means of carrying on seem too much engaged with present the figh:, and coining a few wretched cop to bave time for bye-play, and the pers out of your schcolfellows’ blows aod practice may have, to some extent, wounds, You have been a bad friend to ated such tacetiousness and comica But you might du | one of the five monitors of this school, and something for me, now that J am in such a| your office shall be taken from you ‘ Please ’em,’ said a chorus of little Boye together, ‘ please ‘em, do let bim off this time. He was so kind to Louis and William when they were bad, He brought them water, and bathed their faces, aad stopped the bleeding, and did all sorts of things for them. Fiease ’em, let him off.’ ‘Well,’ said the Dame, much affected, ‘kinduess to the wounded ghall plead his cause this once, [ shall think of some punish- ment less severe. For 1 have hupe of Jouvule even you that be will risce to ao sense of bis high position in the school ; and learn that duties cannot be cooly ignored, because they are disagreeab'e; that he who shirks the responsibility of doing right, does in very deed und truth do wrong; that the true test of greatness is the ability to grapple with great difficulties ; that it is but a sorry thing to boast of bravery and skill and power, if, just at the very instant when you are called upon to act, your re- ‘sources fail you, and you whine out the miserable excuse that * you don’t exactly see how you can interfere’ If, indeed, such an excuse be allowed to staud—if it be really true that the bead and champion of the school is thoreeghly beaten by cir- cumstances—utterly at a loss, at some | critica! moment, what is the right thing to do; let bim confess at once that be is un equal to his place-—that he is not the Boy we took him for—that his courage has been overrated, and his reputation as a hero too cheaply earned; that for all bis vaunted influence with others he is too weak to stay an ubrighteows strife—te avert a storm of cruel, savage bluows—to spare the infliction of wounds which will lie papi: g and un- healed for long long years to come, bearing on their ghastly face a bitter bate for those that dealt them, aud contempt for the ‘neutral’ friend who looked calmly on,’ .- <> -+ eo —- — AMERICAN WIT AND HUMOUR. Cisatlantics seem bora with the opinion that the American people are both witty and humorous. A score of years ago, a constaut shower of absurd anecdotes appear- ed in our newspapers of the actings of our American cousins, end it was believed on this side tbat these were unadulterated im- portations from Yankeedom. But it was discovered by and by, that they were ewa- nations from that great exchange for laugh- ables, London, We do not say they were all manufactured there, though, doubtless many of them were, Numbers of them travelled in the country districts to that greet emporium in search of employment. A rich crop of them hailed from the green (sle end sought refuge ta the modern Babylon on the sameerrand. These alleged Americacisms are now almost forgot, and the present very enlightened generation, even vf it knew them, might lay small store by them. But they were funny neverthe- less. Lor examples: —It was asserted there was a fellow down Kast, whose nose wes 30 long he had to take two steps forward when he tovk a pinch of snuff, ‘bat there was another fellow, a ne'ghbor of his, who was so tall that he had to go up a ladder to shave himself; and that that other feliow’s second cousin’s feet were so large he had to draw on his trousers over his head. Such absurdities bad a cont'nued run, and at lest they tapered off like a long-tailed meteor with the absence-of-mind series, It was told of a ‘down-Haster,’ that he came home one evening wet and weary, that he stripped off bis clothes and spread them nicely under the blankets, while be bung himse!! over a chair belore the fire to dry. aod did not *scover h’s mistake till he woke in th: morning with the back-ache, the generr >relude to such absurd stories was, ‘a fac. worth mentioning, or, as if to betray its Hibernian origin, ‘The never a lie’s in this,’ It needed one to be forti- fied by some strong asseveration to believe the aceounts of another down-Huster who, on commg bome from a tough day’s shect- ing, and in cleaning his gan, shoved bis head down the barrel! instead of using the ramrod, and never discovered bis mistake till bis bead came out at the touchhole; and that be could not withdraw it till ais wife, who bad been ovt bying ‘fixings,’ came to his assistance. Such like guffaw- graphs filling the memory from boyhood, naturally lead one to expect in the Amer- icans a jocular liveliness in conversation, surpassing that of the people he had left behind, Bat he finds himself woefully mistaken, and has rather to encounter seriousness, demureness, or down-right silence. We admit that peopie, strangers to each other, must, at least, be so jong acquainted as to allow their strangeness to thaw somewhat, that caution may have time to give place to confidence or taciturnity to chat. But even after sufficieot time bas tourist will be disappointed if he expec's to Qar cousins want of elimin- lity as been allowed for this process, the British | CHARLOTTETOWN, PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND, MONDAY, MARCH 6, 1871 De rather, their high edueation or cultivation makes them regard time spent on funning as misspeot? Perhaps from early im- pressions, we expected too much, and did pot give credit for the amount of humour we did find in the Republic. But certain ged it is, if bumor do exist, it is not made manifest, Although we failed to detect much amount of wit and humour in the Awerican people, it cannot be denied there is much of both in America. It seems as if when they deserted Americans in the mass, they found refuge in certain individ- uals, Such wits as ‘Josh Billings,’ and kindred others, are enough to redeem any nation, though it were as da!! as ditch-water and if only artistic bumourists as able were forthcoming, who could present to the eye the flashes of the comic literateurs, Amer- ice might take ber place creditably along- side ourselves in our funny ramb'es, But this department of art seems eadly in the rear, Comic illustration is wretehed in desiga, aud worse in execution—both draw- ing and engraving. The examples we picked up are simply con'emotible, and any redeewing morsels in « Nick Nax,’ ‘ Grant’s Army Jokes,’ and other vehicles of fua and humour, sare unacknowledged appro- priations from Punch, Fun, or Judy. As one pat instance is worth a hundred disqui- sitiens, we give an example of American obliviousness to something really good, and which passed within ear-shot of ourseives, Oor friend, Who hailed from Piunkin, and in consequence possessed in spite of himself, a fairish spice of she-doggery, had railed it with us many a weary mile ever the ioter- minable flats of the western * puraries,’ and eke the dirto of the easternstates. We were varying the scene on the St, Lawrence, and bad made the acquain'ance of a bate uf the Awcrivaus *doing* the rapids like ourselves. They were pretty chatty, and, apon the whole, made pleasant voyaging companions We had passed some of the wouders of that wonerful river, and had just slid out of the rapids, ostled the ‘Long Sow.’ Gne of our American friends, more loquacious than the others, was decanting on tbe different merits of Britisbers and Yankees, and illiustratod one of his poiats by telling how a Sheffield outler hed made # razor so smal] that it could be enclosed iz a hollow bodkin, and had sent it to America, ‘boastfully challenging the Yankee cutlers to tot it ifthey could. They were slow to acknowledge their inability. but ultimately had to do so, ne patriotic down-Kaster (all the sharp chaps hive down eas!) de.ermined not to cave in, declared that if the Britisher had produced tho smallest razor in the world, America would produce the largest, and forvhwi maonufectured one with a blade nine feet long. and sent it to Sheffield to be a lest remembrancer of Yankee ability Our Piuvkin friend, who hed listened patiently to this and some other bit of brag, incontinently exclaimed. *Well! thai razor was surely big enough to shave the ‘long sow.” We, of course, saw it and wakened the echoes; but our American friencs looked as biank wad enquiringly as if poor ‘ bowl-weft’ had spoken in an un- kcown tongue! ‘The fact is, one has to go to print, or to the theatre, in America, if he wish to drive dull care away, should he be troubled with it. What is native in the comic publications is pretty fair, but there is very little of that; the bulk beiog of foreiga manufacture, reappearing to British- ers asold friends with new faces, —acquaint- ances he had of old met ‘n tke Kogiish vomics, We detected so many of these, that the real article, when it did crop up, was diffica’t to believe in the presence of s0 many Americanized importations: apd unless they came endorsed with the names of known humorists like * Artemus Ward’ or ‘Josh Billings’ it was safest to throw them overboa-d. Nevertheless, some did look I:ke natives, and ou chance we tran ser.be the following :— A dangerous ship. —‘ There is one kind of ship that | always steer clear o',’ caid an old bachelor sea-captain, ‘and that is courtship’ cause in thut ship there is always two mates and no captain,” A wicked joke from a Western paper. —‘ Our member of Congress made a great speoch,—one of his very best. It was written for him by a graduate of this office; and the matter and delivery do credit to both parties,’ A GROWING ITEM, A woman in Detroit bas been arrested for smuggling tea in her stockings -—Ez- press. io North Carolina the women carry nails in their s*ockings — Raleigh Progress Nothing wonderful, The jadies carry calves in their stockings,—Sa/em Observer, And one of cur ladies carries her coru ia hers.—Rome Democrat, The ladies of thie section who sympathise with Andy Jchoson in his fight with the Radicals, carry V-toes in theirs.— Sua. All the women down our way carry splen- did elegies in their stockiugs.— Kentucky News. The ladies here carry ‘eels in their stockiogs — Vindicator. Down this way, some Isdies not only carry calves in their stockings, but they also carry bran to fatien them.—Mezico Messenger. r The ladies eught to invite the editors of the above wamed papers to iva, and with the dees of their dren new balmoral boots, send them brawling like calves with heels up. They would then have cause to speak of Jeg-acies after this wondertul feat by the iadies.— Vineyard I; An LEG-ant bateh truly.—Forney’s Press. Too modest by half.—A Gloucester paper says there isa lady in that town so modest that she wil! not aliow the Christian Observer to remain in ber room over night ! | The * Musie of Bells’ is caused by the rattling of their tongues. To Young Housekeepers.— How to bone Turkey darker the better. Climb over your ne'gh- ‘youcso, You had better bore two or three |when you sre atit, es it saves trouble. You will find this plan very ecovowical, both of them, Well, some day, perbaps, | they may or must have carried with them | Advice in War —* Now my hearties,’ jboat, in case he wanted to take advantage —_ .. you, may want friends yourself. When you from the old country. Or shall we say, said» gallant Yankee Colonel, ‘ You have th Get up at 2 o’clock a.m = The-| NEWS. i NO. 10. ® tough battle before you. Fight like heroes till your powder’s done, thea—rup,’ ‘As l’m a litt'e lame,’ said « down Kaster, * I guess 1’/] start now.’ THE LIQUOR LAW IN MAMBACHUSETTS. | The State constables of Massachusetts have lately made a report of one week's |work, There can be no mistake about ‘their industry and cflicienry, or that they ,do not carry out radical ideas to the letter, | We give the following as the result of the past week’s labour, — A cow arrested for baving ‘two horns.’ A coloured individual lately decessed, fined for being ‘on his bier.’ A pair of boots seized for being ‘tight.’ A litt'e boy’s kite sentenced to have its | tail cut off, for having been on a * higu time.’ A clothing dealer hauled up for advertis- ing *‘ Great Bar-gains,’ A conf.ctiover fined for selling * Gin-ger | soaps.’ A horse rin away and smashed » ‘The horse was promptly arrested; it being proved the ‘rmash’ conuinal nothing intoxicating, it was acquitted, An unfortunate Hibernian was locked up for getting a * punch’ on the head, A worthy shoemsker seigod on suspicion of being a ‘cobbler,’ but proving there was Bo sherry’ connected with him was released on condition this would be bis * last’ offerce, | He was informed that any future dereliction would ievolve the confiscation of hig « all.’ The excitement ‘ waxed’ intense. THE FRANCO-PRUS3IAN WAR. PRUSSIAN RAPAOCITY. Eugene Rimmel, iv a letter to the Stand- ard, ways.—'‘{ have a couniry douse at | Varennes, near Montereau, whieh { left last autumo ic charge of two servants, aa old man and his wife, recommending them, if the Prussiang came, to give them all they required, as far as it was in their power, They did c@me ove officer and eight men, and were received, Beds were made up for them, and their meals were procured and cooked. Stil] they behaved very ly to the old people all the time. One of the soldiers oace, not finding his supper cooked to his satisfaction, after throwing the plates and glasses out of the window, threatened to hang the old woman a4 ~-> in quest of a rope for that purpose; he was with difficulty prevented from out hie designe, and ultimately vented bie spleen by breaking « bottie over the poor creatures head, ioflicting a severe wound from which she is pow suffering. Before leaving the place the German soldiers as a fiual mark of gratitude for the good treat- ment they had received, broke open all the cupboards and drawers, took out every thing that was of any value such as clocks, jewellery, wearing apparel, &c., flied there with three empty truoke they found in the loft, and carriec them triumpbant!y away in the presence and with the evident con- pivance of the officer, My servants pro- tested egainst this robbery, stating that I was a British subject, but thisdid not heve the slightest effect on them. In conc!usion { do not mean to let the matter rest here, aud have written for further particulars, which I shall forward to the proper quarter, but in the meanwhile I sbould like aay persons acquainted with the regulations of the Prussian army to answer this question —How is it that the boasted German disvi- |pline allows soldiers to carry away wiole | chests frll of stolen property? 1 can under stand soldiers filling their pockets without mach ciance of being intertered with, but when it comes to van loads, who affords thém facilities for sending home their spoils? DEATH BY 3UPFOCATION, A WHOLE FAMILY POUND DEAD IN BED, New York, Jan. 3i—A terrible tregedy was discovered last evening in a tenemens couse on Third avenue, near Kighty-fifth, The rear roem on the second ficor was oceu- pied by Jobo Loughlin, bis wife anda ebild, and by his wile’s sister, Susan Sand. A these people were found |ymg on one bed, dead, evidently from suffocation by gas while asleep, as the room was filled to such a degree that enterance could not be effected ti | the room was ventilated. The first floor wes occupied by Onarles Muller, a baker, who rented the room to the Lougblins. Be testified that the whole house was piped for ges. none had been used in the upper part till saturday wight, when the freat room, | having been rented to a club, was supplied — with @ chandelier and lighted. A pipe en- tering tbe back room had not been ca : and trom ‘his flowed the gas which eu ed the unfortunate family ; who had evident- ly thrown themselves on the bed in adreckes © stupor, as they were kuowo to be ate as well as miserably poor, Muiler, the plumber who turaed oa the ges, and severst others were arres'ed ond held as witnesses, A NEW ARITHMETIO, Sick gent (walking into a whiskey shop :) —* Well, I believe | wili apend my dime iu crackers this morning? Bar-keeper bunds bun craekers, which te tastes. ‘I cannot stand them; give me some brandy. He poarsit out, amelis 4, shakes bis head. ‘don’t think I can gu that. Give me some whiskey for the brandy.’ Ba r hands him out the He turus out a full glass, driake is dowa and starts out, Bar-keeper—Hold on there! you have uct paid me tor that whiskey.’ Sick geot—-1 gave you the brandy for the whiskey, sir,’ * Well, you ain’t paid me for the braady, sir.” ‘[ gave you thecrackers for the brandy. sir.’ * Well, you ain't paid mo for the crackers.’ ‘ Well, sir, you have your ‘erackers yet." Bar-keeper said no more, } | #uve Rerort.—One of the finest retorte pursuits bour’s fence and ‘bone’ the first gobbler |on record is thet made by an Nnglish am- | baevador toa Freuch king, of whom he asked tbe release of certain Huguenots who ‘had been thrown into the Basule tor ther irelgion. * What would your maser the | King of Boglaad say, if L swed bim for the