During
      shaving:
     
    

    
     
      1.
      Listen
      to
      Helen
      Reddy’s
      ‘‘lam
      women,’’
      or
      Sonic
     
     
      Youth’s
      ‘‘Kool
      Thing.’”’
     
    

    
     
      2.
      Be
      sure
      to
      nick
      yourself
      at
      least
      once;
      the
      blood
     
     
      willserve
      asa
      symbol
      of
      your
      commitment
      to
      the
     
     
      pursuit
      of
      Your
      Very
      Own
      Beauty
      Aesthetic.
      (Note:
     
     
      You
      may
      want
      to
      bring
      your
      spouse
      or
      roommates
      in
     
     
      yn
      this
      one.
      For
      example,
      a
      trail
      of
      blood
      leading
      toa
     
     
      yed
      strewn
      with
      band-aids
      is
      a
      particularly
      effective
     
     
      vay
      to
      announce
      your
      new
      shaving
      ideology,
      and
      then
     
     
      raw
      him/her/them
      into
      a
      feminist
      consciousness
     
     
      aising
      discussion).
     
    
   
   
    
     
      .fter
      shaving:
      Repeat
      the
      following
      sentence
      five
     
     
      imes:
      |am
      a
      woman
      who
      chooses
      to
      shave
      my
      body
     
     
      air
      because
      it
      truly
      and
      really
      affirms
      my
      own
      sense
     
     
      faesthetics
      and
      identity.
      [thas
      absolutely
      nothing
     
     
      hatsoever
      to
      do
      with
      capitalist
      ideals
      of
      beauty
      and
     
     
      sxuality.
      Ithas
      absolutely
      no
      implications
      for
      my
     
     
      utonomy
      and
      strength
      as
      a
      woman.
      Absolutely
      not.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      f
      course,
      not
      all
      women
      will
      find
      these
      guidelines
     
     
      seful
      -
      or
      even
      necessary.
      And
      I
      must
      warn
      you,
      |
     
     
      ive
      not
      tested
      the
      rules’
      effectiveness:
      they
      may
     
    

    
     
      0st
      the
      ideological
      aura
      and
      combativeness
      of
      your
     
     
      resence
      -
      and
      hence,
      they
      may
      even
      elicit
      hostile
     
     
      sponses
      from
      women
      who
      have
      false
      nails,
      dyed
     
    

    
     
      \ir,
      and
      fake
      tans,
      and
      who
      are
      saving
      up
      for
      breast
     
     
      iplants
      (as
      well
      as
      the
      many
      men
      who
      date
      them).
     
    

    
     
      )
      please,
      be
      careful
      with
      these
      guidelines:
      treat
      them
     
     
      ith
      the
      caution
      you
      would
      employ
      to
      shave
      the
      inner
     
    
   
   
    
     
      igh.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      WRITERS
     
    
   
   
    
     
      XPRESS
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Imaginations
     
    
   
   
    
     
      “As
      told
      by
      a
      grandson”
     
    
   
   
    
     
      As
      she
      lies
      in
      the
      hospital
      bed
      she
      appears
      helpless
     
     
      and
      needing
      ourattention.
      We
      are
      awkward.
      We
     
     
      know
      not
      what
      to
      say
      to
      her.
      Yes
      even
      blood
      relatives
     
     
      are
      unsure
      of
      what
      to
      say
      to
      one
      another
      when
      some-
     
     
      one
      we
      love
      is
      on
      the
      verge
      of
      passing
      into
      the
      next
     
     
      stage.
      Even
      though
      she
      can
      no
      longer
      talk,
      despite
      her
     
     
      immobility
      she
      still
      manages
      to
      pray
      the
      rosary.
      The
     
     
      beads
      in
      her
      hands
      seem
      more
      beautiful
      than
      ever.
     
    

    
     
      We
      can
      only
      hope
      that
      we
      will
      be
      as
      devoted
      to
      God
     
     
      and
      everyone,
      as
      she
      was
      in
      her
      life.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Chris
      McCarron
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      ATTENTION:
      FIRST
      YEAR
      SCHOLARSHIP
      STU-
     
     
      DENTS
     
    

    
     
      COMING
      SOON!
     
    

    
     
      A
      special
      ‘‘Meet
      Your
      Deans
      and
      Registrar’’
      evening
     
     
      DATE:
      Tuesday,
      November
      19,
      1991
     
    

    
     
      TIME:
      6:30-9:00
      p.m.
     
    

    
     
      LOCATION:
      Room
      040,
      Main
      Building
     
    

    
     
      If
      there
      are
      any
      questions
      or
      concerns
      which
     
    

    
     
      you'd
      like
      the
      Deans
      or
      Registrar
      to
      address,
     
    

    
     
      you
      can
      submit
      them
      in
      advance
      and
      anonymously
     
     
      “Shirley
      Hudson,
      Dept.
      Student
      Services,
     
     
      Robertson
      Library
      Building.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
        
     
    
   
   
    
     
      PEI
      X-P
      RESS
     
    
   
   
    
     
      (fy
     
     
      Be
      r
     
    
   
   
    
     
      ‘November
      14,
      199]