FACT:
      Children
      who
      are
      breastfed
     
     
      benefit
      from
      Higher
      IQ
      scores
      and
     
     
      better
      school
      performance
      from
     
     
      increased
      cognitive
      development.
     
     
      OPINION:
      Breastfed
      children
      do
     
     
      much
      better
      in
      school
      than
      children
     
     
      who
      are
      continually
      reminded
      that
     
     
      they
      were
      adopted
      and
      nobody
     
     
      loves
      them.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      FACT:
      Children
      who
      are
      breastfed
     
     
      benefit
      from
      decreased
      risk
      of
      obe-
     
     
      sity
      later
      in
      life.
     
    

    
     
      OPINION:
      Unless
      of
      course
      they
     
     
      are
      breastfed
      by
      their
      father.
      Then
     
     
      they’ve
      got
      all
      sorts
      of
      problems
      to
     
     
      deal
      with
      later
      in
      life.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      FACT:
      Breastfed
      children
      also
     
     
      benefit
      from
      enhanced
      visual,
     
     
      motor,
      and
      oral
      development.
     
     
      OPINION:
      This
      particular
      type
      of
     
     
      enhanced
      visual,
      motor,
      and
      oral
     
     
      development
      is
      only
      useful
      to
      them
     
     
      if
      they
      pursue
      a
      career
      where
      they
     
     
      are
      required
      to
      suck.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      FACT:
      Women
      benefit
      from
     
     
      reduced
      risk
      of
      breast,
      ovarian
      and
     
     
      uterine
      cancer,
      as
      well
      as
      osteo-
     
     
      porosis.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      OPINION:
      It’s
      also
      a
      good
      idea
      to
     
     
      avoid
      playing
      with
      the
      X-ray
     
     
      machine
      in
      the
      abandoned
      hospital.
     
     
      Lots
      of
      cancer
      there.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      FACT:
      Families
      enjoy
      increased
     
     
      maternal-child
      bonding,
      which
      can
     
     
      lead
      to
      better
      parenting
      and
      may
     
     
      even
      decrease
      the
      incidence
      of
     
     
      child
      abuse.
     
    

    
     
      OPINION:
      You’re
      less
      likely
      to
     
     
      push
      your
      child
     
     
      in
      front
      of
      an
     
     
      angry
      lion
      at
      the
     
     
      zoo
      if
      you
      share
     
     
      the
      bond
      only
     
     
      breastfeeding
     
     
      can
      provide.
     
     
      Brought
      to
      you
     
     
      by
      the
      Church
      of
      Jesus
      Christ
      of
     
     
      Latter
      Day
      Saints.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      FACT:
      Society
      benefits
      because:
     
     
      Breastfed
      children
      are
      healthier,
     
     
      which
      makes
      for
      a
      more
      productive
     
     
      workplace
      in
      the
      future.
     
     
      OPINION:
      And
      the
      workplace
     
     
      could
      really
      use
      some
      more
      healthy
     
     
      children
      to
      sew
      soccer
      balls
      for
     
     
      Adidas.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      FACT:
      The
      practice
      of
      feeding
     
     
      babies
      infant
      formula,
      rather
      than
     
     
      breastmilk
      carries
      with
      it
      profound
     
     
      risks
      in
      modern
      industrialized
     
     
      countries
      as
      well
      as
      in
      developing
     
     
      countries.
     
    

    
     
      OPINION:
      The
      practice
      of
      feeding
     
     
      babies
      to
      sharks
      is
      a
      good
      way
      to
     
    
   
   
    
     
      avoid
      being
      attacked
      yourself
      when
      ~
     
    
   
   
    
     
      on
      a
      boat/dingy.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      FACT:
      Lack
      of
     
     
      breastmilk
      and
     
     
      the
      use
      of
      infant
     
    
   
   
    
     
      z
     
     
      a
      formula
      com-
     
     
      |
      promise
      the
     
     
      ee
      health
      and
      well
     
    
   
   
    
     
      being
      of
      chil-
     
     
      dren
      in
      the
     
     
      United
      States.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      -
      OPINION:
      I
      always
      knew
      that
     
    
   
   
    
     
      lack
      of
      breastmilk
      was
      a
      bigger
     
     
      problem
      for
      children
      in
      the
      United
     
     
      States
      than
      concealed
      weapons.
     
     
      They
      should
      get
      rid
      of
      those
      metal
     
    
   
   
    
     
      detectors
      in
      entrances
      of
      public
     
    
   
   
    
     
      schools
      and
      have
      buxom
      women
     
     
      greeting
      children
      every
      morning
     
     
      with
      a
      large
      glass
      of
      American
     
     
      breastmilk
      instead.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      FACT:
      Otitis
      media
      (middle
      ear
     
     
      infection)
      is
      up
      to
      3-4
      times
      as
     
     
      prevalent
      in
      formula-fed
      infants.
     
    

    
     
      OPINION:
      Formula-fed
      infants
     
     
      have
      the
      tendency
      to
      stick
      bottles
      in
     
     
      their
      ear,
      whereas
      breastfed
      infants
     
     
      are
      less
      likely
      to
      do
      the
      same
     
     
      because
      they
      are
      not
      fucking
      stupid.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      FACT:
      Formula
      fed
      preterm
     
    
   
   
    
     
      infants
      had
      lower
      IQ
      scores
      (8
     
    
   
   
    
     
      points)
      at
      age
      7-8
      years
      than
      breast-
     
     
      fed
      premies,
      even
      after
      adjustment
     
     
      for
      mother’s
      education
      and
      social
     
    
   
   
    
     
      class.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      OPINION:
      If
      you’re
      feeding
      your
     
     
      infant
      with
      formula,
      don’t
      bother
     
     
      saving
      up
      for
      university.
      And
      buy
     
     
      lots
      of
      velcro
      sneakers.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      FACT:
      If
      a
      woman
      breastfeeds
      for
     
     
      the
      first
      year
      of
      the
      infant’s
      life,.
     
     
      $683
      in
      the
      first
      year
      of
      life
      per
     
     
      infant
      would
      be
      saved
      from
      the
     
     
      family’s
      budget
      because
      of
      not
     
     
      needing
      to
      purchase
      breast
      milk
     
     
      substitutes.
     
    

    
     
      OPINION:
      If
      you
      stop
      feeding
      the
     
     
      infant
      all
      together,
      you
      can
      save
      a
     
     
      couple
      hundred
      more
      bucks.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      eeeeee
      ai
     
     
      de
      et
      33
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Stephan
      MacLeod
      loves
      a
      man
      in
      uniform.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      volunteers
     
    
   
   
    
     
      news
      editor
     
    
   
   
    
     
      advertising
      manager
     
    
   
   
    
     
      circulation
      manager
     
    
   
   
    
     
      5:00
      PM
      *
      Wednesday
     
    
   
   
    
     
      The
      Cadre
      °
      Main
      06