February
      11,
      1997
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      The
      OJ
      Simpson
      Verdict
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      After
      two
      and
      a
      half
      years
      of
      constant
      publicity,
      debating,
     
    

    
     
      and
      courtroom
      drama,
      justice
      has
      finally
      been
      served,
      not
      only
     
     
      to
      the
      families
      of
      the
      murder
      victims,
      but
      also
      to
      the
      American
     
     
      public,
      who
      so
      rightfully
      came
      to
      the
      realization
      that
      their
      once
     
     
      football
      hero
      is
      now
      labelled
      a
      vicious,
      dishonest,
      and
      pathetic
     
     
      criminal.
      But,
      you
      know,
      one
      thing
      that
      I
      never
      understood
      is
     
     
      that
      Inspector
      Gadget--in
      terms
      of
      air
      floatation
      devices,
      he
     
     
      had
      an
      umbrella
      and
      a
      parachute.
      But
      for
      some
      reason,
      out
     
     
      of
      all
      the
      times
      that
      he’d
      be
      falling
      to
      the
      ground,
      I
      only
      saw
     
     
      him
      use
      this
      parachute
      like
      once.
      All
      the
      other
      times,
      he’d
      just
     
     
      use
      the
      crappy
      umbrella,
      and
      then
      it
      would
      like
      fold
      up
      and
      go
     
     
      crappy,
      and
      he’d
      fall
      on
      his
      ass,
      or
      Brain
      would
      have
      to
      save
     
     
      him
      or
      something.
     
     
      What
      an
      idiot.
      And
      that’s
      just
      the
      right
      word
      to
      describe
      him
     
     
      too,
      is
      just
      a
      plain
      old
      idiot.
      [mean
      anyone
      else
      who
      had
      all
      that
     
     
      cool
      stuff
      would
      be
      like
      king
      of
      the
      world.
      Well,
      not
      really,
      but
     
     
      what
      I
      think
      would
      be
      cool
      is
      if
      in
      like
      the
      very
      last
      episode,
     
     
      instead
      of
      dicking
      around
      all
      over
      the
      place
      for
      the
      whole
     
     
      show,
      like
      usual,
      he’d
      just
      finally
      realize
      who
      the
      bad
      guy
      was,
     
     
      and
      like
      say,
      “Go
      go
      gadget
      machine
      gun”
      and
      like
      just
      shoot
     
     
      the
      bastard.
      That
      would
      kick
      so
      much
      ass.
     
    

    
     
      Now,
      Dennis
      Rodman;
      this
      is
      another
      thing
      that’s
     
     
      obviously
      a
      tad
      askew.
      On
      the
      court,
      he’s
      like
      the
      toughest
     
     
      guy
      around,
      but
      off,
      uh,
      let’s
      see
      here,
      in
      the
      words
      of
     
     
      Hillbilly
      Jim,
      “He
      looks
      like
      a
      damn
      sissy.”
      Of
      course,
     
     
      Hillbilly
      Jim
      probably
      didn’t
      say
      that,
      and
      he
      probably
     
     
      doesn’t
      even
      know
      Dennis
      Rodman,
      and
      come
      to
      think
      of
     
     
      it,
      I
      don’t
      even
      know
      who
      Hillbilly
      Jim
      is.
      Was
      he
      like
      a
     
     
      Wrestler
      or
      something?
      Him
      and
      like
      that
      Andre
      the
      Giant
     
     
      guy.
      Man,
      he
      was
      revolting.
      I
      think
      he
      like
      died
      of
      a
      heart
     
     
      attack
      or
      something.
      Just
      like
      that
      guy
      from
      the
      Fat
      Boys.
     
     
      The
      fattest
      one
      of
      course.
      Anyway,
      another
      thing
      that
     
     
      would
      be
      cool
      is
      if
      Rodman
      decided
      to
      one
      day
      combine
      the
     
     
      two
      obviously
      opposite
      lifestyles
      that
      he
      seems
      to
      lead,
      by
     
     
      like
      starting
      to
      dress
      in
      drag
      for
      his
      games.
      He’d
      be
      like
     
     
      hauling
      down
      rebounds
      despite
      the
      hindrance
      of
      high
      heeled
     
     
      shoes,
      racing
      up
      the
      court
      with
      his
      pink
      feathered
      shawl
     
     
      blowing
      in
      the
      wind,
      and
      getting
      trash
      talked
      for
      wearing
      too
     
     
      much
      eye
      make
      up.
      That
      would
      certainly
      kick
      a
      fair
      amount
     
     
      of
      ass
      as
      well.
     
    

    
     
      One
      thing
      that
      pisses
      me
      off,
      though
      is
      this
      dick
     
     
      character
      that
      they’ve
      chosen
      as
      a
      symbol
      guy
      for
      my
     
     
      column
      thingy.
      I
      mean,
      look
      at
      him.
      What
      a
      freak.
      He
      looks
     
     
      like
      one
      of
      those
      guys
      that
      attends
      Star
      Trek
      conventions,
     
     
      and
      national
      chess
      competitions,
      and
      has
      a
      nickel
      collection,
     
     
      and
      wears
      Return
      of
      the
      Jedi
      gympants
      all
      the
      time,
      and
     
     
      collects
      O.J.
      Simpson
      trial
      trading
      cards--Wait
      a
      minute.
      I
     
     
      think
      I
      was
      supposed
      to
      like
      write
      this
      article
      on
      that
      subject,
     
     
      or
      whatever.
      Whoa,
      that’s
      weird.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      By:
      Sam
      Shepard
     
    
   
   
    
     
        
     
    
   
   
    
     
      By
      FINLEY
      MARTIN
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Last
      week
      the
      Five
      Year
     
     
      Plan
      took
      to
      the
      court
      to
      play
     
     
      an
      intense
      game
      of
      basketball
     
     
      with
      the
      new
      and
      improved
     
     
      Cordroy
      Warriors.
      The
      re-
     
     
      sulting
      battle
      was
      exciting
      and
     
     
      entertaining.
      The
      FYP
      held
     
     
      control
      of
      the
      score
      during
     
     
      much
      of
      the
      game.
      However
     
     
      the
      Warriors
      were
      not
      ready
     
     
      to
      become
      easy
      prey
      for
      the
     
     
      win
      hungry
      FYP.
      With
      nearly
     
     
      ten
      minutes
      left,
      the
      Warrriors
     
     
      managed
      to
      tie
      the
      game.
      “It
     
     
      was
      at
      that
      point
      that
      we
      de-
     
     
      cided
      that
      we
      had
      to
      turn
      it
      on
     
     
      or
      get
      blown
      out”
      commented
     
     
      acting
      team
      spokesman
      Dave
     
     
      Christian.
      A
      strong
      rally
      oc-
     
     
      curred
      and
      as
      a
      result
      the
      team
     
    
   
   
    
     
      The
      Panther
      Prints
     
    
   
   
    
     
          
     
    
   
   
    
     
      added
      another
      notch
      to
      their
     
     
      victory
      belt.
      The
      final
      score
     
     
      was
      58
      to
      53.
     
    

    
     
      In
      other
      FYP
      news,
      Pat
     
     
      Perry
      became
      the
      next
      mem-
     
     
      ber
      of
      the
      Five
      Year
      Plan
      to
     
     
      move
      in
      to
      the
      FYP
      Cultural
     
     
      Center.
      The
      community
      in
     
     
      which
      he
      had
      lived
      had
      her-
     
     
      alded
      him
      in
      the
      past
      as
      a
      local
     
     
      hero
      and
      has
      been
      shocked
      by
     
     
      the
      decision.
      Mr.
      Perry
      felt
     
     
      that
      the
      move
      was
      neccessary
     
     
      and
      went
      on
      record
      as
      saying
     
     
      “This
      is
      the
      point
      in
      my
      life
     
     
      where
      I
      must
      be
      able
      to
      give
     
     
      myself
      fully
      to
      the
      attainment
     
     
      of
      the
      team’s
      values
      and
     
     
      goals,”
     
    

    
     
      The
      FYP
      Cultural
     
     
      Center
      was
      first
      set
      up
      by
     
     
      Geoff
      Smith.
      Over
      the
      years
     
    
   
   
    
     
      ACT
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Mr.
      Smith
      has
      enlisted
      the
      help
     
     
      of
      other
      FYP
      members
      such
     
     
      as
      Dave
      Christian
      and
      Dico
     
     
      Reyers
      to
      ensure
      its
      smooth
     
     
      operation.
      The
      center
      was
     
     
      designed
      as
      a
      place
      where
      the
     
     
      FYP
      philosphy
      could
      be
      fully
     
     
      practiced.
      Last
      year
      Greg
     
     
      Fraser
      was
      hired
      as
      Head
      Spir-
     
     
      itual
      Advisor
      of
      the
      FYP
      Cul-
     
     
      tural
      Center
      in
      order
      to
      main-
     
     
      tain
      FYP
      policies.
      “The
      place
     
     
      is
      azoo
      and
      it’s
      my
      job
      tomake
     
     
      sure
      it
      stays
      that
      way!”
      says
     
     
      Mr.
      Fraser.
     
    

    
     
      For
      more
      information
      of
     
     
      the
      FYP
      check
      out
      their
     
    
   
   
    
     
      website
      at
      http://
     
     
      www.peionline.com/fyp
      or
      e-
     
     
      mail
      them
      at
     
    
   
   
    
     
      fanmail@peionline.com.
     
    
   
   
    
     
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