Greatest
     
    

    
     
      Album
     
     
      Ever
     
     
      Made
     
    
   
   
    
     
         
     
     
         
     
     
       
     
     
         
     
     
       
     
     
          
     
     
        
     
     
          
     
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      us,
      sheer
      genius.
      I
      have
      never
      heard
      such
      power-
     
     
      sic.
      I
      knew
      this
      album
      would
      be
      brilliant
      the
     
     
      eond
      |
      saw
      this
      cover,
      a
      picture
      of
      Uncle
      Sam
      with
     
    

    
     
      mand
      on
      some
      babe’s
      ass.
      That’s
      profound.
      This
     
     
      Gwarfs
      even
      the
      greats
      like
      Twisted
      Sister,
      Ratt
     
     
      ken.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      some?
      features
      brilliant
      songwriting,
      fantastic
     
     
      ig
      and
      amazing
      guitar
      playing;
      Sid
      ‘‘Boogie’’
     
     
      er
      must
      play
      a
      thousand
      notes
      per
      minute,
      and
     
     
      ,
      of
      course,
      is
      the
      measure
      of
      a
      great
      guitarist.
     
     
      Blue's
      debut
      is
      a
      thunderous,
      rocking
      power-
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Mr
      d’s
      sound
      is
      equally
      matched
      by
      their
      intelli-
     
     
      yrics,
      These
      are
      nineties
      men,
      folks,
      and
      their
     
     
      flect
      it:
      ‘‘Rob
      the
      Cradle’’
      isa
      moving
      plea
     
    
   
   
    
     
        
     
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      for
      sex
      with
      a
      minor
      (‘‘I
      need
      it
      now,
      I
      can’t
      wait
     
     
      until
      you’re
      older’’),
      ‘‘Love’s
      Got
      a
      Hold
      on
      Me’?
      is
     
     
      an
      anthemic
      testosterone
      tribute
      (‘‘I
      don’t
      need
      much
     
     
      of
      anything,
      but
      I
      need
      your
      sex
      tonight’’)
      and
      ‘‘It’s
     
     
      So
      Easy’’
      begins
      with
      the
      rousing
      cry,
      ‘‘Hey
      girls,
     
    
   
   
    
     
      99?
     
    
   
   
    
     
      wanna
      go
      foraride?’’.
      But
      love
      isn’t
      the
      only
      subject
     
     
      matter
      here,
      no-sir-ee,
      these
      guys
      are
      politically
     
     
      conscious:
      ‘
      Talk
      of
      the
      Town’”’
      is
      an
      anti-drug
      dia-
     
     
      tribe
      (‘‘Cocaine/What
      a
      shame’’)
      and
      ‘‘Nobody
     
     
      Knows’’
      deals
      with
      the
      passing
      of
      youth
      (**But
      the
     
     
      world
      keeps
      spinnin’
      around
      and
      ‘round
      and
      ‘round
     
     
      and
      ‘round
      and
      ‘round’’).
      Not
      only
      is
      WantSome?a
     
     
      musical
      masterpiece,
      italso
      has
      a
      poet’s
      soul,
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Okay,
      enough
      of
      that.
      There’s
      my
      spoof,
      now
      here’s
     
     
      what
      I
      really
      think:
      this
      is
      shit,
      shit,
      SHIT!
      And
      it’s
     
     
      not
      harmless
      shit
      either,
      Jesus,
      |
      wouldn’t
      want
      kids
     
     
      listening
      to
      these
      sexist
      assholes.
      |
      suggest
      these
      guys
     
     
      change
      their
      name
      to
      ‘‘the
      Sonic
      Hard-Ons’’.
      And
      the
     
     
      music
      is
      nothing
      but
      volume,
      the
      guitar
      solos
      are
     
     
      finger
      aerobics
      with
      no
      musicality
      whatsoever
      and
     
     
      this
      guy’s
      voice
      will
      have
      yer
      dog
      howlin’
      like
      it’s
     
     
      judgement
      day.
      Lord,
      I've
      gota
      headache,
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      March
      26,
      1992
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Page
      31
     
    
   
   
    
     
      di