+Seat
     
    
   
   
    
     
      By
      Matthew
      Dorrell
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Sale>
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Kick-Boxing
      in
      Antigua
      —
      Part
      I
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      St.
      John,
      patron
      saint
      of
      bad
     
     
      towns
      with
      boring
      names
      (or
      is
      it
     
     
      boring
      towns
      with
      bad
      names’),
      is
     
     
      as
      inexplicably
      popular
      in
      Antigua
     
     
      as
      he
      is
      in
      the
      Maritimes.
     
     
      Thankfully,
      St.
      John’s,
      the
      capital
     
     
      of
      Antigua,
      bears
      no
      resemblance
     
     
      to
      any
      other
      similarly
      named
      city
     
     
      I’ve
      been
      to.
     
    

    
     
      Antigua
      has
      more
      beaches
     
     
      than
      I’ve
      seen
      anywhere.
      Popular
     
     
      beach
      activities
      include
      scuba
      div-
     
     
      ing,
      sunburning
      one’s
      cleavage
      and
     
     
      slipping
      ever
      further
      into
      alco-
     
     
      holism.
      If
      you
      like
      the
      idea
      of
     
     
      scuba
      diving
      in
      waters
      that
      might
     
     
      also
      contain
      sharks,
      barracuda,
     
     
      manta
      rays,
      moray
      eels,
      etc.,
      |
      wish
     
     
      you
      the
      best
      of
      luck.
      Not
      that
      you’d
     
     
      need
      it
      —
      an
      average
      of
      only
      three
     
     
      people
      a
      year
      are
      killed
      scuba
      div-
     
     
      ing.
      Nonetheless,
      I
      decided
      to
      stick
     
     
      to
      the
      land.
     
    

    
     
      St.
      John’s,
      because
      it
      is
     
     
      _almost
      exclusively
      a
      tourist
      trap,
     
     
      and
      because
      the
      entire
      island
      was
     
     
      for
      the
      longest
      time
      a
      British
     
     
      colony
      (used
      for
      growing
      sugar
     
     
      cane),
      there
      isn’t
      much
      in
      the
      way
     
     
      of
      authentic
      local
      colour
      —
      the
     
     
      whole
      town
      suffers
      somewhat
      from
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      12
      The
      Cadre
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Disneyfication.
      So
      it
      is
      that
      there
     
     
      are
      restaurants/bars
      named
      The
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Admiral’s
      Inn,
      Chez
      _
      Pascal,
     
     
      Chutney’s,
      the
      Crazy
      Horse
     
     
      Saloon,
      O’Grady’s
      Pub
      and
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Kentucky
      Fried
      Chicken
      (two
      loca-
     
     
      tions!).
      Strangely,
      there
      is
      also
      a
     
     
      Bank
      of
      Nova
      Scotia,
      a
      Royal
      Bank
     
     
      of
      Canada
      and
      a
      Canadian
      Imperial
     
     
      Bank
      of
      Commerce
      (CIBC).
     
     
      Encouraging
      to
      see
      that
      Canadians
     
     
      can
      launder
      drug
      money
      with
      the
     
     
      best
      of
      them.
     
    

    
     
      Having
      been
      in
      St.
      John’s
     
     
      for
      two
      days,
      I
      decided
      to
      spend
      the
     
     
      morning
      before
      the
      kick-boxing
     
     
      tournament
      interviewing
      locals
      and
     
     
      tourists
      to
      see
      exactly
      how
      popular
     
     
      the
      tournament
      was.
      By
      noon,
      I
     
     
      was
      beginning
      to
      wonder
      whether
     
     
      there
      really
      was
      any
      such
      tourna-
     
     
      ment
      -
      no
      one
      knew
      anything
      about
     
     
      it.
      Few
      people
      in
      Antigua
      (much
     
     
      like
      the
      rest
      of
      the
      world)
      know
     
     
      much
      about
      kick-boxing.
      Being
      a
     
     
      former
      British
      colony,
      they
      do
     
     
      know
      cricket.
      Prospects
      of
      a
      suc-
     
     
      cessful
      kick-boxing
      tournament
     
     
      seemed
      slim,
      as
      it
      would
      be
      com-
     
     
      peting
      with
      a
      veteran’s
      cricket
     
     
      match
      (think
      old-timers
      hockey
     
     
      game).
      What
      made
      this
      cricket
     
     
      match
      special
      was
      that
      Viv
     
     
      Richards,
      Antigua’s
      most
      famous
     
     
      sports
      hero,
      also
      known
      as
      the
     
     
      “Master
      Blaster”
      (honestly,
      I
     
     
      wouldn’t
      make
      that
      up),
      would
      be
     
     
      playing.
     
    

    
     
      Later
      in
      the
      day
      I
      managed
     
     
      to
      find
      a
      group
      of
      kick-boxing
     
     
      enthusiasts
      loitering
      at
      a
      local
      gym.
     
     
      Some
      of
      them
      had
      traveled
      from
     
     
      Antigua’s
      sister
      island,
      Barbuda,
      to
     
     
      watch
      home-town
      favourite,
      Ama
     
     
      Omowale,
      compete.
      From
      them
      I
     
     
      learned
      that
      the
      men’s
      potion
      of
      the
     
     
      tournament
      was
      to
      be
      canceled
      due
     
     
      to
      a
      death
      resulting
      from
      a
      bout
      in
     
     
      the
      last
      tournament
      held
      on
      the
     
     
      Caribbean
      tour.
      Apparently,
      one
      of
     
     
      the
      boxers
      from
      the
      ever-powerful
     
     
      Thailand
      contingent
      had
      -
      in
      viola-
     
     
      tion
      of
      the
      international
      kick-box-
     
     
      ing
      rules
      -
      kneed
      his
      opponent
      in
     
    
   
   
    
     
      bo
      6
      oO
      %
      &
      Vier
      ee
      eS
      EEE
      Se
      ABMPOMM
      EES
      KES
     
    
   
   
    
     
      the
      head
      and
      killed
      him.
      Though
      it
     
     
      wasn’t
      clear
      how
      much
      of
      the
      story
     
     
      and
      its
      details
      were
      exaggeration
      or
     
     
      pure
      fantasy
      -
      was
      he
      killed
      instant-
     
     
      ly,
      or
      did
      he
      die
      in
      hospital
      some
     
     
      hours
      later?
      -
      all
      present
      were
      cer-
     
     
      tain
      of
      the
      cancellation
      of
      the
     
     
      men’s
      section
      of
      the
      tournament.
     
     
      The
      women’s
      tournament,
      howev-
     
     
      er,
      was
      to
      continue.
      :
     
     
      The
      hotel
      I
      was
      staying
      at
     
     
      experienced
      a
      drought
      of
      sorts
      that
     
     
      evening,
      not
      an
      uncommon
      cir-
     
     
      cumstance
      apparently.
      Fresh
      water
     
     
      is
      not
      particularly
      abundant
      to
     
     
      begin
      with
      —
      a
      problem
      which
      is
     
     
      furthered
      by
      the
      clear
      cutting
      of
     
     
      trees
      for
      farming
      which
      causes
     
     
      rainwater
      to
      be
      lost
      to
      runoff
      and
     
    
   
   
    
     
      occasionally
      also
      leads
      to
      mud-
     
    
   
   
    
     
      slides,
      albeit
      minor
      ones
      as
      the
     
     
      landscape
      is
      relatively
      flat.
     
    

    
     
      This
      was
      of
      little
      concern
      to
     
     
      me.
      The
      pool
      was
      full
      of
      water,
      as
      I
     
     
      was
      of
      liquor,
      and
      beyond
      this
      little
     
     
      troubled
      me.
      After
      all,
      tomorrow
      I
     
     
      would
      be
      ringside
      for
      an
      all-female
     
    
   
   
    
     
      kick-boxing
      tournament.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Next
      Issue:
      Much
      about
      kick-box-
     
     
      ing,
      and
      women
      who
      kick
      people
     
     
      upside
      the
      head.
      A
      camera
      is
      stolen
     
     
      and
      a
      travel
      columnist
      discovers
     
     
      that
      being
      splattered
      with
      blood
      is
     
     
      not
      cool,
      no
      matter
      how
      attractive
     
     
      the
      combatants
      who
      produced
      the
     
     
      blood
      might
      be.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
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