Drink
      the
      Barn—The
      Year
      End
      Pub
     
    
   
   
    
     
      by
      Stephan
      MacLEOD
     
    
   
   
    
     
      They’re
      not
      allowed
      to
      call
      it
     
     
      Drink
      the
      Barn
      Dry
      for
      legal
      reasons,
     
     
      and
      if
      you
      tried
      calling
      it
      that
      when
     
     
      buying
      tickets,
      the
      office
      assistant
      at
     
     
      the
      Barn
      pretended
      like
      she
      didn’t
     
     
      know
      what
      you
      ment.
      I
      wasn’t
      going
     
     
      to
      play
      their
      game.
      Year
      End
      Pub
      just
     
     
      doesn’t
      have
      the
      same
      ring
      to
      it.
      And
      it
     
     
      doesn’t
      accurately
      represent
      the
      ine-
     
     
      briated
      chaos
      that
      follows
      Eyes
      For
     
     
      Telescopes
      in
      the
      path
      of
      cheap
      drinks.
     
    

    
     
      Drink
      the
      Barn
      Dry
      was
      the
     
     
      final
      eve.
      of
      inaccurately
      titled
      Seven
     
     
      Days
      of
      The
      Cadre
      Staff
      Party.
      I
      think
     
     
      it
      may
      have
      been
      open
      to
      non-Cadre
     
     
      students
      as
      well,
      but
      let’s
      not
      worry
     
     
      about
      details.
      The
      important
      thing
      is
     
     
      that
      I
      was
      there.
      I
      witnessed
      it
      all.
     
     
      From
      the
      sound
      check
      to
      the
      time
     
     
      when
      security
      impolitely
      asked
      every-
     
     
      one
      to
      leave,
      I
      was
      there.
      Well,
      I
      was
     
     
      in
      the
      area.
      Actually
      I
      was
      making
     
     
      crafts
      out
      of
      empty
      beer
      cases
      in
      the
     
     
      student
      union
      office
      for
      most
      of
      the
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Sf
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      I
      drew
      this
      picture
      of
      Eyes
      for
     
     
      Telescopes
      on
      a
      napkin
      because
      |
     
     
      forgot
      to
      bring
      a
      camera.
      From
      left
     
    

    
     
      to
      right,
      they
      are
      Pat,
      Belinda,
     
    

    
     
      Craig,
      and
      Mike.
      Way
      to
      go
      Mike!
     
    
   
   
    
     
      night.
      But
      I’m
      assuming
      everyone
     
     
      enjoyed
      Port
      Citizen’s
      set.
     
    

    
     
      Eyes
      For
      Telescopes
      were
     
     
      there
      too.
      Fenced
      in
      on
      the
      wooden
     
     
      stage
      on
      the
      second
      floor
      of
      the
      Barn,
     
     
      they
      blasted
      their
      chic
      garage
      rock
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
        
     
    
   
   
    
     
      8:30
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      ,
      sunday
      Nite
     
     
      Live
      is
      back!!!
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      UPEI
      Chaplaincy
      Centre
     
    
   
   
    
     
      PM
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      tunes
      through
      John
      Bulman’s
      stack
      of
     
     
      speakers
      while
      smoke
      machines
      and
     
     
      lights
      surrounded
      them.
      The
      textures
     
     
      of
      guitars,
      beats,
      singing
      and
      shouting
     
     
      stirred
      up
      some
      frantic
      shaking
      and
     
     
      dancing
      among
      the
      people
      who
     
     
      arrived
      early.
     
    

    
     
      11:00
      qualifies
      as
      early
      for
     
     
      some
      inexplicable
      reason
      in
      the
     
     
      Charlottetown
      bar
      scene.
      After
      Eyes’
     
     
      set
      the
      space
      between
      the
      Panther
     
     
      Lounge
      and
      the
      top
      of
      the
      stairway
     
     
      was
      crammed
      with
      people
      just
      arriv-
     
     
      ing.
      This
      area
      would
      remain
      sticky
     
     
      with
      traffic
      for
      much
      of
      the
      evening.
     
     
      So
      I
      opted
      to
      cower
      in
      the
      safety
      of
      the
     
     
      Student
      Union
      office
      while
      members
     
     
      of
      Eyes
      For
      Telescopes
      were
      inter-
     
     
      viewed
      by
      reporters
      for
      the
      Holland
     
     
      College
      student
      newspaper.
     
    

    
     
      These
      reporters
      were
      training
     
     
      to
      be
      pros.
      They
      even
      had
      a
      camera.
      I
     
     
      was
      kicking
      myself
      for
      not
      bringing
     
     
      my
      mom’s
      camera,
      or
      even
      borrowing
     
     
      The
      Cadre’s
      digital
      camera
      for
      that
     
    
   
   
    
     
      matter.
      Fuck.
      I
      tried
      eavesdropping
      on
     
    
   
   
    
     
      the
      interview
      to
      get
      a
      few
      pointers
      on
     
     
      music
      journalism.
      Craig
      MacPherson,
     
     
      the
      bass
      player
      for
      Eyes,
      was
      feeding
     
     
      the
      reporter
      a
      load
      of
      bullshit
      about
     
     
      how
      he
      was
      working
      on
      a
      rock
      opera.
     
     
      He
      mentioned
      being
      heavily
      influ-
     
     
      enced
      by
      Steven
      Bocho’s
      Cop
      Rock,
      a
     
     
      short-lived
      crime
      show
      that
      featured
     
     
      singing
      juries,
      politicians,
      cops,
      crack
     
     
      house
      denizens
      and
      murderers.
      Then
     
     
      he
      trailed
      off
      into
      something
      about
      the
     
     
      Halifax
      police
      rock
      band
      Blue
     
     
      Thunder.
     
    

    
     
      Two
      two-fours
      of
      beer
      later,
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Showing
      at
     
    
   
   
    
     
      City
      Cinema
     
    
   
   
    
     
      this
      week
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Amelie
     
     
      and
     
     
      Me
      You
      Them
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Times
      and
      Descriptions
      at
     
     
      www.citycinema.net
     
     
      368-3669
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Here
      is
      a
      diagram
      of
      what
      one
      of
     
     
      my
      pigs
      looked
      like.
      Sadly,
      both
     
     
      pigs
      were
      lost,
      so
      |
      couldn’t
      even
     
     
      take
      a
      picture
      of
      them
      after
      the
     
     
      pub.
      Why
      don’t
      you
      try
      to
      make
     
     
      one
      at
      home,
      kids?
      And
      don’t
     
     
      forget
      to
      give
      it
      a
      curly
      tail!
     
    
   
   
    
     
      things
      began
      to
      get
      silly.
      Guests
      of
     
     
      Eyes
      for
      Telescopes,
      Port
      Citizen,
      and
     
     
      a
      bunch
      of
      people
      unaccounted
      for
     
     
      passed
      through
      the
      office
      to
      join
      in
      the
     
     
      celebration,
      laughter,
      and
      substance
     
     
      abuse.
      At
      one
      point
      I
      decided
      to
      craft
      a
     
     
      pig
      out
      of
      a
      case
      of
      beer,
      some
      paper
     
     
      cups
      and
      beer
      caps.
      My
      completed
      pig
     
     
      appeared
      lonely
      and
      sad,
      so
      I
      built
      a
     
     
      mate
      for
      it
      out
      of
      another
      case.
      By
      the
     
     
      time
      my
      second
      pig
      was
      completed
     
     
      Craig
      was
      getting
      dressed
      in
      a
      fuzzy
     
     
      UPEI
      panther
      suit.
      There
      was
      an
      extra
     
     
      suit
      kicking
      around
      too.
      This
      could
     
     
      only
      mean
      one
      thing:
      It
      was
      time
      for
     
     
      us
      to
      run
      on
      stage
      during
      Port
     
     
      Citizen’s
      set
      dressed
      as
      panthers.
     
    

    
     
      After
      dirty
      dancing
      with
      some
     
     
      drunk
      girls
      we
      returned
      to
      the
      student
     
     
      union
      office
      to
      cool
      down
      with
      an
      ice
     
     
      cube
      fight.
      Someone
      broke
      out
      New
     
     
      Years
      hats
      and
      noise
      makers,
      and
      the
     
     
      party
      really
      got
      started.
      While
      we
      blew
     
     
      our
      noisemakers
      until
      they
      sounded
     
     
      like
      ducks
      being
      run
      over
      by
      a
      motor
     
     
      boat,
      Pat
      Deighan,
      the
      guitarplayer
      for
     
     
      Eyes
      For
      Telescopes,
      got
      a
      bloody
      eye
     
     
      from
      a
      projectile
      ice
      cube
      launched
      by
     
     
      Craig.
      Drink
      The
      Barn
      Dry
      was
     
     
      ruined.
     
    

    
     
      Pat
      and
      Craig
      made
      up.
      The
     
     
      ice
      eventually
      melted.
      And
      the
      End
      of
     
     
      Year
      Pub
      ended.
     
    
   
   
    
     
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