Sydney’s
      Slowcoaster
      and
     
     
      Rock
      Ranger
      have
      left
      a
      strong
      impres-
     
     
      sion
      on
      the
      Charlottetown,
      late-night
     
    
   
   
    
     
      party
      scene
      by
      transporting
      their
      —
     
    
   
   
    
     
      unique
      brand
      of
      spontaneous
      livin-
     
     
      groom
      jam
      sessions
      and
      alcohol-fueled
     
     
      insanity
      from
      Cape
      Breton
      to
      PEI
     
     
      whenever
      they
      come
      to
      town.
      When
     
     
      Pat
      Deighan
      and
      Dennis
      Ellsworth
     
     
      decided
      to
      invite
      both
      bands
      back
      to
     
     
      Charlottetown
      along
      with
      their
      hillbil-
     
     
      ly
      supergroup,
      The
      Squatters,
      they
     
     
      were
      more
      concerned
      with
      the
      oppor-
     
     
      tunity
      to
      party
      and
      hang
      out
      with
      the
     
     
      musicians
      than
      actually
      seeing
      them
     
     
      perform
      in
      concert.
      The
      fact
      that
      they
     
     
      were
      also
      going
      to
      play
      at
      Baba’s
      was
     
     
      an
      added
      bonus
      to
      the
      planned
      week-
     
     
      end
      of
      drinking
      and
      antics.
     
    

    
     
      A
      festival
      seemed
      to
      evolve
     
     
      naturally
      out
      of
      Pat
      and
      Dennis’
      initial
     
     
      plans
      to
      bring
      the
      House
      of
      Rock
     
     
      (Slowcoaster,
      Rock
      Ranger,
      The
     
     
      Squatters)
      to
      PEI.
      There
      was
      no
      short-
     
     
      age
      of
      local
      talent
      and
      other
      artists
     
     
      from
      Atlantic
      Canada
      to
      fill
      four
      days
     
     
      of
      music.
      With
      a
      list
      of
      bands,
      a
      venue,
     
     
      and
      some
      sponsorship
      money
      to
      cover
     
     
      their
      asses,
      Close
      to
      the
      Coast
      was
      cre-
     
     
      ated
      as
      a
      musical
      showcase
      for
      East
     
     
      Coast
      talent
      in
      the
      same
      vein
      as
      the
     
     
      ECMA
      No-Cases
      that
      took
      place
      at
     
     
      Baba’s
      Lounge
      this
      February.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Toast
      of
      the
      Coast
     
    
   
   
    
     
      By
      Stephan
      MACLEOD
     
    
   
   
    
     
      THURSDAY:
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Rock
      Ranger
      and
      Slowcoaster
     
     
      arrived
      at
      my
      place
      Thursday
      evening.
     
     
      I
      was
      in
      the
      process
      of
      fixing
      a
      fucked-
     
     
      up
      computer
      for
      my
      little
      sister.
      I
      got
     
     
      so
      involved
      in
      pretending
      I
      knew
      how
     
     
      to
      install
      a
      CD-ROM
      that
      I
      almost
      for-
     
     
      got
      about
      the
      whole
      music
      festival.
      I
     
     
      may
      have
      also
      forgotten
      to
      tell
      my
     
     
      mom
      that
      two
      and
      a
      half
      bands
      were
     
     
      staying
      in
      our
      livingroom
      this
      week-
     
     
      end.
      I
      thought
      she
      was
      going
      away
      this
     
     
      weekend
      anyway,
      so
      I
      didn’t
      think
      it
     
     
      would
      be
      necessary
      to
      worry
      her
      about
     
     
      the
      smelly
      musicians
      sleeping
      on
      our
     
     
      couches
      and
      floor.
      Last
      time
      they
     
     
      stayed
      here,
      an
      awful
      lot
      of
      sand
      was
     
     
      left
      behind
      from
      an
      early
      morning
      dip
     
     
      at
      the
      beach.
     
    

    
     
      Rock
      Ranger
      hit
      the
      stage
      at
     
     
      Baba’s
      around
      12:30
      and
      screamed
     
     
      their
      way
      through
      a
      ferocious
      rock
      and
     
     
      roll
      set.
      Since
      the
      bar
      had
      to
      close
      at
     
     
      2:00,
      Slowcoaster
      did
      not
      have
      much
     
     
      time
      for
      their
      set,
      but
      they
      managed
      to
     
     
      fiil
      the
      little
      amount
      of
      time
      that
      they
     
     
      had
      with
      a
      virtually
      non-stop:
      whirl-
     
     
      wind
      of
      wordy
      funk,
      kicking
      into
      a
      jam
     
     
      they
      dubbed
      the
      Fifteen
      Minute
      Dance
     
     
      Party
      which
      could
      have
      gone
      on
      all
     
     
      night
      if
      it
      wasn’t
      for
      pesky
      liquor
      com-
     
     
      mission
      regulations.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      The
      Squatters
      lead
      a
      singalong
      of
      Mama
      Don
      t
      Let
      Your
      Babies
      Grow
      Up
      to
      be
      Cowboys.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      FRIDAY
     
    
   
   
    
     
      On
      Friday
      afternoon,
      Dennis
     
     
      threw
      a
      pool
      party
      at
      his
      parent’s
      place
     
     
      for
      the
      bands.
      The
      Cape
      Bretoners
     
     
      took
      a
      few
      belly-flops,
      threw
      footballs,
     
     
      and
      jousted
      with
      pool
      noodles
      before
     
     
      dining
      on
      barbecued
      hamburgers,
      hot
     
     
      dogs,
      and
      veggie
      dogs.
      The
      get-togeth-
     
     
      er
      eventually
      deteriorated
      into
      a
      dis-
     
     
      cussion
      about
      Marjorie
      Wilson’s
      lawn
     
     
      and
      garden
      segments
      from
      CBC
     
     
      Radio’s
      Maritime
      Noon.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Later
      that
      night
      at
      Baba’s,
     
     
      Newfoundland
      chanteuse
      Colleen
     
     
      Power
      delivered
      a
      whopping
      set
      of
     
     
      songs
      that
      ranged
      in
      topics
      from
      guys
     
     
      that
      wear
      novelty
      t-shirts
      (“His
      shirt
     
     
      said
      zero
      to
      horny
      in
      six
      beers”)
      to
     
     
      guys
      that
      are
      selfish
      in
      relationships
     
     
      (“You
      never
      gave
      me
      dick
      all.”).
      For
     
     
      her
      last
      song,
      she
      invited
      The
      Squatters
     
     
      on
      stage
      to
      join
      her.
      In
      a
      matter
      of
      min-
     
     
      utes,
      seven
      guys
      in
      costume
      were
      up
     
     
      plucking
      away
      on
      guitars,
      banjo,
      and
     
     
      mandolin.
      A
      ho-down
      was
      inevitable.
     
     
      Colleen
      stayed
      with
      The
      Squatters
      for
     
     
      a
      couple
      of
      sing-alongs.
     
    

    
     
      When
      The
      Squatters
      play,
     
     
      members
      of
      Slowcoaster
      and
      Rock
     
     
      Ranger
      are
      transformed
      into
      a
      wild
     
     
      bunch
      of
      heavy
      drinking
      cow-punks.
     
     
      Although
      they
      take
      on
      the
      personas
      of
     
     
      crazy,
      inbred,
      country
      hicks,
      the
      char-
     
     
      acters
      they
      play
      are
      not
      too
      far
      from
     
     
      their
      actual
      personalities.
      Preacher
      Bill
     
     
      Bribes,
      Junior,
      Dr
      Love
      Jones,
      Rollie
     
     
      Butts,
      Jebeodiah,
      Paco,
      and
      the
      Bear
     
     
      get
      wasted,
      spit
      beer,
      and
      share
      the
     
     
      same
      love
      for
      old
      country
      music
      as
     
     
      Steven,
      Dave,
      Mikey,
      Jay,
      Devon,
      Ian,
     
     
      and
      Mike.
      The
      highlight
      of
      their
      set
     
     
      was
      an
      encore
      that
      featured
      everyone
     
     
      singing
      along
      to
      “Mama
      Don’t
      Let
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Ruth
      Minnikin
      and
      Matt
      Mays
      of
      The
      Guthries
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      the
      cadre