his
      mouth.
      He
      continued
      to
      shake.
      His
      eyes
      were
      wide
      open.
     
     
      Wide
      open.
     
    

    
     
      _
      I
      don’t
      know
      why,
      but
      I
      got
      down
      and
      touched
      him;
      I
     
     
      felt
      around
      his
      ribs.
      I
      couldn’t
      reach
      his
      hands;
      they
      were
      up
     
     
      near
      his
      face,
      and
      the
      toilet
      was
      in
      the
      way.
      He
      was
      as
      stiff
      as
     
     
      a
      board.
      I
      didn’t
      want
      to
      upset
      him.
      It
      seemed
      like
      it
      was
      get-
     
     
      ting
      better.
      The
      shaking
      was
      subsiding,
      and
      the
      paramedics
     
     
      would
      be
      there
      soon.
     
    

    
     
      But
      as
      the
      minutes
      ticked
      by,
      I
      wanted
      some
      reassur-
     
     
      ance
      that
      he
      was
      okay,
      so
      I
      worked
      around
      him
      and
      felt
      his
     
     
      neck
      for
      a
      pulse.
      His
      neck
      was
      rock
      hard,
      and
      there
      was
      a
     
     
      pulse
      all
      right.
      The
      freakiest,
      fastest,
      scariest
      fucking
      pulse
     
     
      I’d
      ever
      taken.
     
    

    
     
      I
      don’t
      know
      how
      much
      time
      actually
      elapsed
      until
      the
     
     
      paramedics
      got
      there,
      but
      it
      was
      quite
      a
      while.
      I
      guess
      there’s
     
     
      actually
      an
      inquiry
      into
      the
      matter
      now,
      because
      they
      took
      so
     
     
      long.
      I
      don’t
      see
      how
      it
      matters.
      When
      they
      got
      there,
      they
     
     
      were
      totally
      useless.
      Their
      confusion
      was
      completely
      evident
     
     
      to
      me,
      as
      they
      crouched
      there
      in
      front
      of
      him,
      trying
      to
      con-
     
    
   
   
    
     
      firm
      just
      what
      it
      was
      they
      were
      dealing
      with.
     
    

    
     
      “How
      many
      caffeine
      pills
      would
      you
      say
      he
      took?”
     
     
      they
      asked.
      I
      honestly
      couldn’t
      remember.
      |
      still
      can’t.
      It
     
     
      looked
      like
      a
      lot.
     
    

    
     
      For
      a
      while
      afterward,
      I
      actually
      toyed
      with
      the
      idea
      of
     
     
      becoming
      a
      crusader
      for
      the
      dangers
      of
      caffeine,
      but
      decided
     
     
      that
      would
      be
      pretty
      stupid.
      Besides,
      I
      don’t
      want
      to
      inject
     
     
      meaning
      into
      this.
      It’s
      better
      to
      leave
      the
      whole
      thing
      mean-
     
     
      ingless.
      It
      has
      an
      effect
      on
      me
      that
      way,
      when
      I
      think
      back
     
     
      upon
      it,
      that
      is
      kind
      of,
      I
      don’t
      know.
      I
      like
      it
      though.
      It
      was
      a
     
     
      totally
      meaningless
      event.
     
    

    
     
      I
      did
      give
      up
      coffee
      myself,
      though.
      I
      used
      to
      drink
      a
     
     
      cup
      every
      morning,
      but
      I
      pretty
      much
      stopped
      that.
      Gave
      me
      a
     
     
      headache
      for
      a
      whole
      week.
      whole
      goddamn
      week
      of
      a
      con-
     
     
      sistent,
      dull
      throbbing
      in
      my
      head.
     
    

    
     
      I
      certainly
      won’t
      end
      this
      story
      with
      some
      kind
      of
     
     
      statement
      about
      ambition.
      Besides,
      I
      don’t
      think
      it
      was
      about
     
     
      that.
      Or
      even
      attention-getting.
      Like
      I
      said,
      it’s
      just
      some
     
     
      meaningless
      shit
      that
      happened
      one
      day
      after
      my
      last
      exam.