December
      3,
      1996
      @-
      The
      Panther
      Prints
     
    
   
   
    
     
      SANTA
      CL
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Dear
      Santa
     
    
   
   
    
     
      I
      have
      been
      a
      very
      good
      girl
      this
      year.
      You
      said
      last
      year
      that
      I
      was
      too
     
     
      bad
      too
      receive
      anything
      that
      I
      wanted
      so
      you
      got
      me
      a
      pony
      and
      a
      Cabbage
     
     
      Patch
      Doll.
      This
      year
      have
      refrained
      all
      that
      is
      illegal,
      immoral
      and
      unethical.
     
     
      In
      return,
      in
      the
      contract
      that
      I
      wrote
      up
      and
      presumed
      you
      would
      sign,
      it
      says
     
     
      that
      you
      must
      give
      me
      all
      I
      desire.
      So
      the
      list
      goes
      as
      follows:
      -Pages
      1-5
     
     
      inclusive
      in
      Sassy
      Sara's
      House
      of
      Adult
      Toys
      catalogue
      -Several
      guns(
      my
     
     
      favorite
      is
      the
      one
      Arnold
      uses
      in
      T2)
      -The
      back
      wall
      in
      The
      Charlottetown
     
     
      Liquor
      store
      at
      the
      mall
     
    
   
   
    
     
      It
      would
      also
      be
      nice
      to
      have
      a
      few
      surprises.
      If
      you
      accommodate
      me
     
     
      in
      these
      respects
      I'll
      not
      have
      to
      take
      any
      drastic
      action.
      If
      you
      don't..well...just
     
     
      remember:
      I
      KNOW
      WHERE
      YOU
      LIVE.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Send
      my
      love
      to
      Mrs.
      Claus
      and
      the
      reindeer
      LOVE
      and
      Kisses
     
     
      Bernadette
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      P.S.
      If
      you
      don't
      remember
      my
      address
      it
      can
      be
      found
      in
      the
      listings
      of
     
     
      Americas
      Most
      Wanted.
      B
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Dear
      Santa:
     
    
   
   
    
     
      I
      have
      been
      a
      very
      good
      girl
      this
      semester.
      well,
      if
      you
      don't
      count
      a
      few
     
     
      wkipped
      classes
      and
      one
      night
      at
      the
      Panther
      Lounge.
      anyway,
      I
      have
      a
      small
      list
      of
     
     
      things
      that
      I
      would
      like
      for
      Christmas.
     
    

    
     
      A
      warm
      pair
      of
      mittens
      so
      that
      I
      don't
      get
      frostbite
      from
      typing
      my
      papers
      in
      the
     
     
      Computer
      Lab
      in
      Main.
     
     
      ~
      A
      roll
      of
      loonies,
      since
      none
      of
      the
      vending
      machines
      accept
      twonies.
     
     
      A
      map
      of
      the
      access
      routes
      to
      the
      underground
      tunnels.’
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Dear
      Mr.
      &
      Mrs,
      Claus
      A
      computer
      that
      isn't
      tied
      up
      with
      E-mail
      when
      I
      try
      to
      type
      a
      paper
     
     
      ___
      In
      the
      past,
      there
      have
      been
      The
      ability
      to
      remember
      my
      Novell
      password
      for
      more
      than
      one
      week
     
     
      times
      when,
      well,
      I
      havn't
      been
      so
      A
      better
      photo
      for
      my
      student
      ID
     
     
      good.
      Those
      days
      have
      past,
      and
      I'm
      _
      Thanks
      Santa!
      I
      will
      leave
      out
      some
      chocolate
      chip
      cookies
      for
      you
      and
      Rudolph
     
     
      sure
      you
      will
      be
      personally
      surprised
     
     
      with
      my
      comportment
      of
      late.
      I
      have
     
     
      _made
      every
      effort
      in
      being
      courteous
      D
      t
     
     
      and
      kind
      and
      nice
      and
      wonderful,
      —
     
     
      with
      only
      temporary
      lapses.
      For
      Christmas
      I
      would
      like
      everyone
      to
      re-
     
     
      Santa,
      my
      man,
      you
      may
      not
      be
      member
      the
      true
      meaning
      of
      the
      holiday.
      Itis
      aday
     
     
      aware
      of
      the
      harshe
      economic
      cli-
      when
      friends
      and
      family
      gather
      together
      in
      cel-
     
     
      mate
      of
      the
      90s.
      Since
      business
      for
      ebration
      of
      the
      birth
      of
      Christ.
      Presents
      are
      nice,
     
     
      _you
      appears
      to
      be
      booming,
      I
      would
      but
      nothing
      beats
      the
      gift
      that
      God
      gave
      us
      on
      that
     
     
      “like
      to
      make
      a
      reasonable
      request:
      I
      day...sorry
      big
      fella.
      But
      your
      present
      can
      be
      to
     
     
      want
      everything.
      |
      want
      it
      all,and
      I
      help
      everyone
      remember.
      Thanks
      and
      Merry
     
     
      want
      it
      now.
      Christmas.
      -
     
     
      If
      this
      poses
      a
      problem
      with
     
     
      your
      usual
      slide
      down
      the
      chiminy
      Mary
     
     
      entrance,
      don't
      be
      afraid
      to
      leave
      a
      :
     
     
      few
      items
      on
      the
      front
      lawn.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Peace
      be
      to
      you,
      and
      to
      your
     
     
      reindeer
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      PRE
      RT