hurope
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Europe,
      where
      else
      can
      we
     
     
      travel
      and
      get
      a
      better
      bang
      for
      the
     
     
      buck.
      A
      continent
      bursting
      at
      its
     
     
      seems
      with
      midevil
      countries,
      his-
     
     
      tory
      we
      only
      learn
      about
      in
      text-
     
     
      books,
      strange
      throaty
      languages,
     
     
      relaxed
      porn
      laws,
      super-human
     
     
      alcohol,
      cheap
      youth
      hostels,
     
     
      kebabs,
      nude
      beaches
      and
      yes,
      the
     
     
      Irish.
      Where
      else
      can
      you
      fall
     
     
      asleep
      on
      a
      train
      only
      to
      wake
      up
     
     
      two
      hours
      later
      not
      only
      in
      a
      differ-
     
     
      ent
      country,
      but
      in
      a
      different
      sea-
     
     
      son?
      Where
      else
      can
      you
      buy
      beer
     
     
      out
      of
      a
      coke
      machine?
      Where
      else
     
     
      is
      porn
      displayed
      on
      the
      local
      news
     
     
      channel?
      Ahh
      yes,
      the
      land
      of
      our
     
     
      forefathers,
      the
      land
      of
      mystique
     
     
      and
      awe,
      the
      land
      of
      dreams.
      We
     
     
      all
      dream
      of
      doing
      it,
      of
      "taking
      off
     
     
      to
      Europe
      for
      awhile",
      God
      knows
     
     
      it
      motivates
      some
      of
      us
      to
      finish
     
     
      school,
      for
      some
      reason
      graduating
     
     
      is
      our
      permission
      to
      go.
      Sure
      we've
     
     
      earned
      it.
     
    

    
     
      I
      couldn't
      wait,
      I
      went
      a
     
     
      year
      early,
      and
      I'd
      love
      to
      pass
      on
     
     
      what
      I
      experienced
      to
      all
      those
      who
     
     
      are
      waiting
      to
      go.
      But
      before
      I
     
     
      begin
      -
      my
      first
      piece
      of
      advice
      is:
     
     
      Do
      whatever
      it
      takes
      to
      get
      to
     
     
      Europe,
      as
      you'll
      never
      be
      able
      to
     
     
      experience
      the
      things
      you
      can
      now
     
     
      -
      in
      the
      same
      capacity
      -
      again.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      England
     
    
   
   
    
     
      As
      students,
      we
      search
      for
      cheap
     
     
      tickets
      to
      England
      which
      all
      funnel
     
    
   
   
    
     
      us
      to
      the
      busiest
      airport
      in
      the
     
     
      world,
      Heathrow.
      This
      place
      is
     
     
      massive
      and
      was
      quite
      exciting
      for
     
     
      me
      as
      I'm
      dazzled
      by
      big
      things.
     
     
      747's
      line
      up
      nose
      to
      tail
      waiting
     
     
      for
      their
      30
      second
      window
      to
      take
     
     
      off.
      But
      have
      no
      fear,
      its
      no
      prob-
     
     
      lem
      to
      navigate
      through
      the
      maze
     
     
      of
      arrival
      hallways,
      just
      be
      sure
      to
     
     
      have
      that
      passport
      at
      hand
      and
      a
     
     
      dam
      good
      convincing
      story
      when
     
     
      they
      don't
      believe
      you're
      arriving
     
     
      for
      travel,
      but
      suspect
      you're
      trying
     
     
      to
      suck
      their
      immigration
      system
     
     
      dry.
     
    

    
     
      For
      all
      those
      students
      who
     
    
   
   
    
     
      haven't
      experienced
      anything
      more
     
    
   
   
    
     
      diverse
      than
      the
      time
      they
      saw
     
     
      someone
      from
      away
      with
      blue
      hair,
     
     
      get
      ready
      for
      a
      shotgun
      initiation
      of
     
     
      multicultuism
      -
      because
      its
      time
      to
     
     
      jump
      on
      the
      underground,
      better
     
     
      known
      as
      the
      ‘tube’.
      This
      mass-tran
     
     
      system
      will
      be
      your
      chariot
      for
     
     
      your
      stay
      in
      London
      as
      it
      is
      the
     
     
      cheapest
      method
      of
      travel.
      Thanks
     
     
      to
      recent
      renovations
      the
      cars
      are
     
     
      quite
      comfy;
      however,
      it
      will
      only
     
     
      take
      one
      day
      to
      go
      mad
      at
      the
      pro-
     
     
      grammed
      voice,
      carrying
      a
      thick
     
     
      British
      accent,
      which
      constantly
     
     
      reminds
      you
      which
      stop
      you're
      at
     
     
      "now
      arriving
      -
      Picadily
      Circus"
      or
     
     
      cautioning
      you
      to
      "mind
      the
      gap".
     
     
      God
      how
      I
      wanted
      to
      smash
      the
     
     
      speakers,
      but
      was
      mindful
      of
      the
     
     
      funny
      looking
      police
      with
      big
      tall
     
     
      black
      hats
      and
      beating
      sticks.
     
     
      Despite
      their
      uniforms,
      they
      scared
     
     
      the
      hell
      out
      of
      me.
     
    

    
     
      The
      tube
      takes
      you
      into
      _
     
     
      London.
      I
      hated
      London.
      Yes
      the
     
     
      city
      has
      Royalty,
      parks,
      the
      Thames
     
    
   
   
    
     
        
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      river,
      a
      massive
      ferris
      wheel,
     
     
      ridiculous
      taxis
      and
      London
     
     
      Bridge,
      but
      the
      city
      stinks.
      Quite
     
     
      literaly,
      it
      just
      smells
      horrible.
      And
     
     
      the
      driving
      on
      the
      left
      side
      of
      the
     
     
      road,
      what
      the
      hell
      is
      that?
      I'm
      sure
     
     
      pedestrian
      mashing
      is
      a
      qualified
     
     
      sport
      in
      London
      because
      motorists
     
     
      seem
      to
      take
      pleasure
      in
      running
     
     
      down
      gawcking
      tourists,
      who
      are
     
     
      programmed
      to
      look
      the
      other
      way
     
     
      when
      crossing
      a
      street.
     
    

    
     
      Sure
      London
      has
      history
     
     
      and
      for
      a
      first
      time
      traveller,
      this
      -
     
     
      city
      is
      pretty
      cool;
      but,
      my
      advise
     
     
      is
      to
      leave
      -
      as
      quickly
      as
      you
      can.
     
     
      Keep
      in
      mind
      here
      that
      we
      are
      stu-
     
     
      dents,
      aka
      the
      budget
      traveller.
      The
     
     
      exchange
      rate
      in
      the
      UK
      is
      about
     
     
      2.4
      times
      our
      dollar,
      and
      everything
     
     
      is
      the
      same
      price
      or
      more
      in
     
     
      pounds
      -
      you
      see,
      we're
      talking
      9
     
    
   
   
    
     
         
     
     
         
     
     
        
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      -
      A
      student
      oe
      .tavyoround
     
    
   
   
    
     
      ito
      the
      mainland
      some-
     
     
      here
      from
      one
      of
      the
     
     
      jmany
      super
      cheap
      discoun
     
     
      irlines
      and
      leave
      the
      UK
     
     
      jto
      a
      time
      when
      you
      have
     
     
      money
      to
      enjoy
      it.
      You
     
     
      jmost
      certainly
      will
      not
     
     
      have
      the
      money
      now.
     
    

    
     
      This
      is
      one
      impor-
     
     
      tant
      thing
      that
      they
      don't
     
     
      tell
      you
      in
      travel
      books.
     
     
      While
      you're
      there,
     
     
      England
      seems
      really
     
     
      great,
      but
      once
      you
      leave
     
     
      and
      head
      to
      other
      countries
     
     
      you
      quickly
      learn
      about
      how
      badly
     
     
      you
      have
      just
      been
      ripped
      off.
      I
     
     
      mean
      we
      all
      can
      love
      the
      many
     
     
      jews
      the
      country
      holds,
      the
      accent
     
     
      is
      just
      so
      amusing,
      and
      the
      city
      of
     
     
      London
      is
      most
      certainly
      an
      eye
     
     
      opener,
      but
      it
      is
      impossible
      to
      trav-
     
     
      el
      in
      England
      on
      a
      ‘Shoestring’
     
     
      budget.
      You
      would
      be
      lucky
      if
      you
     
     
      only
      spend
      $100
      dollars
      a
      day,
      or
     
     
      42
      pounds.
      What
      you
      learn
      later
      in
     
     
      the
      trip
      is
      that
      $100
      dollars
      can
      last
     
     
      nearly
      a
      week
      in
      Greece,
      or
      buy
     
     
      you
      a
      VIP
      seat
      at
      one
      of
      the
      many
     
     
      Casinos
      in
      Prague.
     
    

    
     
      Thus
      I
      leave
      you
      with
      this:
     
     
      When
      you
      get
      off
      the
      plane
      in
     
     
      Heathrow
      -
      get
      back
      on
      another
     
     
      one
      heading
      somewhere
      other
      than
     
     
      England.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Top
      5
      Reasons
      to
      Visit
      England:
     
    
   
   
    
     
      British
      Accent
     
    

    
     
      Tower
      of
      London
      (the
      crown
      jewels)
     
     
      Absinthe
      is
      legal
     
    

    
     
      Football
      (or
      ‘soccer’)
      is
      fanatical
     
     
      Wonderful
      museum
      bathrooms
     
    
   
   
    
     
      .:page
      [6]
      October
      13,
      2003:.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Top
      5
      Reason
      to
      skip
      England:
     
    
   
   
    
     
      9
      Dollar
      beers
     
    

    
     
      Pedestrian
      mashing
      in
      London
     
    

    
     
      "Please
      mind
      the
      gap"
      -
      London
      Subway
     
    

    
     
      What
      the
      hell
      is
      a
      ‘Queue’
      or
      ‘lift’
      for
      that
      matter?
     
    

    
     
      The
      fact
      that
      the
      Canadian
      dollar
      is
      virtually
      worthless