blind
      man.
     
    

    
     
      _
      Now,
      I
      didn’t
      spend
      too
      much
      time
      at
      the
      Virgin
      Mary
     
     
      Slot
      Machines,
      but
      apparently
      people
      were
      saying
      that
      they
     
     
      ‘were
      pumping
      out
      the
      cash
      good
      and
      plenty.
      So
      that
      could
      be
     
     
      a
      good
      place
      to
      start
      on
      your
      Viva
      Las
      Bethlehem
      gambling
     
     
      ventures.
      Actually,
      I
      saw
      Mitch
      Tweel
      there
      the
      night
      that
      I
      was
     
     
      there,
      and
      Mary
      was
      certainly
      giving
      him
      the
      goods.
     
    

    
     
      As
      you
      gamble,
      you
      will
      be
      entertained
      at
      different
     
     
      intervals
      throughout
      the
      evening
      by
      “The
      Angel
      of
      the
      Lord’s
     
     
      Karaoke.”
      She
      has
      a
      wonderful
      voice—angelic,
      in
      fact,
      but
     
     
      unfortunately
      the
      Karaoke
      volunteers
      that
      usually
      get
      up
      to
     
     
      strut
      their
      stuff
      are,
      as
      usual,
      quite
      unimpressive,
      and
      these
     
     
      annoyances
      tend
      to
      hinder
      gambling
      success.
      I,
      however,
      got
     
     
      up
      at
      one
      point
      and
      did
      a
      number
      of
      AC/DC’s
      “Givin’
      the
      Dog
     
     
      a
      Bone,”
      which
      seemed
      to
      please
      many
      a
      lady
      in
      the
      house,
     
     
      including
      the
      angel
      herself.
     
    

    
     
      At
      first
      I
      found
      the
      animals
      walking
      around
      the
      casino
     
     
      carrying
      trays
      of
      drinks
      on
      their
      backs
      to
      be
      quite
      odd,
      but
      after
     
     
      a
      few
      scotches
      on
      the
      rocks,
      I
      couldn’t
      care
      less
      if
      it
      was
      a
      cow,
     
    
   
   
    
     
      horse,
      or
      sheep
      delivering
      it
      to
      me,
      and
      I’m
      sure
      you'll
      get
     
     
      used
      to
      it
      too.
     
    

    
     
      The
      three
      poker
      tables
      are,
      of
      course,
      run
      by
      the
      wise
     
     
      men,
      who
      all
      have
      their
      differences.
      The
      muhr
      guy
      is
      very
     
     
      mysterious,
      and
      has
      a
      kick
      ass
      poker
      face.
      The
      gold
      guy
      seems
     
     
      to
      get
      lucky
      all
      the
      time
      for
      some
      reason.
      But
      then
      the
      frank-
     
     
      incense
      guy
      is
      actually
      one
      of
      the
      worst
      poker
      players
      I’ve
      ever
     
     
      seen!
      I
      don’t
      know
      if
      the
      other
      two
      wise
      men
      just
      forced
      him
     
     
      into
      this
      job
      or
      what,
      but
      he’s
      got
      no
      skills
      whatsoever,
      and
     
     
      he’s
      quite
      a
      loser.
      Maybe
      that’s
      why
      they
      stuck
      him
      with
      the
     
     
      frankincense.
      Anyway,
      I
      won
      quite
      a
      lot
      of
      gold
      off
      of
      him,
      so
     
     
      I
      would
      suggest
      playing
      his
      table.
     
    

    
     
      Well,
      that
      is
      pretty
      much
      all
      the
      advice
      I
      have
      for
      Viva
     
     
      Las
      Bethlehem.
      I
      hope
      you
      have
      a
      wonderful,
      enlightening
     
     
      experience
      when
      you
      go,
      and
      say
      hi
      to
      the
      Baby
      Jesus
      when
     
     
      you
      go
      for
      me—he’s
      located
      on
      his
      straw
      throne-like
      cradle
      in
     
     
      the
      middle
      of
      the
      casino.
      Ill
      have
      to
      play
      a
      few
      more
      shows
      to
     
     
      get
      some
      more
      cash
      before
      I
      go
      back.
      Keep
      on
      rockin’.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
     
        
     
    
   
   
    
     
      HE
      KIDS,
      ITS
      ME,
      SANTA
      O™
     
     
      CLAUS.
      IT
      CERTAINLY
      HAS
     
     
      BEEN
      OWE
      HECTIC
      HOLIDAY
     
     
      SEASON.
      IVE
      WEVER
      SEEN
     
     
      IT
      $0
      BUSY
      LP
      HERE
      AT
      THE
     
     
      NORTH
      POLE.
      IT
      AM
      JUST
     
     
      ||
      SEWDING
      OUT
      THIS
      MESSAGE
     
     
      TO
      ASSURE
      YOU
      THAT
      YOu
     
     
      WILL
      BE
      GETTING
      ALL
      OF
     
     
      THE
      PRESENTS
      THAT
      YOU
     
     
      ASKED
      FOR.
      ALL
      OF
      THE
     
     
      ELVES
      HAVE
      BEEN
      WORKING
     
     
      ESPECTALLY
      HARD
      FOR
      YOU,
      /
     
    
   
   
    
     
          
     
     
       
     
     
        
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      |
      SANTA,
      MAY
      I
      PLEASE
      HAVE
      A
     
     
      DRINK
      OF
      WATER?
     
     
      CAN'T
      YOU
      SEE
      THAT
      TM
      BUSY?
     
     
      GET
      BACK
      TO
      WORK
      YOU
      LITTLE)
     
     
      |
      PUKE.
      YOu
      CAN
      HAVE
      A
      DA
      TUK
     
     
      OF
      WATER
      LATER.
      THOSE
     
     
      CHILDREN
      ARE
      COUNTING
      OW
     
     
      YOU
      TO
      HAVE
      THETR
      Tos
     
     
      READY
      FOR
      THEM
      ON
      TIME.
     
    

    
     
      I
      JUST
      MADE
      A
      PROMTSE
      TO
     
     
      THEM,
      SANTA
      KEEPS
      HTS
      WORD.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      a
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
         
     
     
         
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
         
     
    
   
   
    
     
      |
      HEH,
      HEH,
      SORAY
      ABOUT
     
     
      THAT,
      KIDS.
      SO,
      AS
      You
     
     
      CAN
      SEE,
      THE
      ELVES
      ARE
     
     
      HARD
      AT
      WORK
      FOR
      You.
     
     
      AMWAY,
      TLL
      SEE
      YOu
      $00.
     
     
      OWT
      FORGET
      TO
      LEAVE
      :
     
     
      SOME
      MILK
      AND
      COOMTES
     
     
      FOR
      ME
      ON
      CHRISTMAS
      EVE.
     
     
      TL
      LOVE
      MILK
      AND
      COONTES.
      |
     
     
      BYE
      FOR
      NOW!