BY SHELLI WHEATON 
     
     SO MUCH FOR INTELLECTUAI 
     
    
   
   
    
     STEW DENT 
     
    
   
   
    
     IN PREPARING: FOR MY THE FIRSTTHNG YA 
     
     HEPS\CHOLOGICAL DYNAMICS ett 
     
     OF DEALING WITH THE PUBLIC! | 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     AD CONT TAKE NO) 
     
     a 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     THis DOESN'T Look Go0o! WAVE A NICE SUMMER STEW! 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     BLOOM COUNTY 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     by Berke Breathed 
     
    
   
   
    
     ALTERNATE STRIP FOR FEB. 27, 1787 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     Student Admitted to Ward Nine of 
     
    
   
   
    
     Afomny, IN A DRAMATIC 
     
     CAP 70 ‘NUDITY 
     
     WEEK,” OPUS 
     
     VISITS THE ACME 
     
    

    
     STEWARDESS 
     
     SCHOOL . 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     OWEVER.. FOR THE 
     
     BENEFIT OF THE FEW 
     
     COWARDLY LOCAL EDITORS 
     
     AMONG OUR CLIENTS, THIF 
     
     ALTERNATE STRIP FEATURING 
     
     A NUDE DONALP TRUMP 
     
     HAS BEEN OFFERED AS 
     
     A WIMPY ANP PRUISH 
     
    
   
   
    
     TF YOURE READING 
     
     THESE WORDS, YOU 
     
     NOW KNOW WHAT 
     
     SORT OF PRIGGISH 
     
     BLUENOSES 
     
     RUN THIS 
     
     NEWSPAPER . 
     
    
   
   
    
     melted 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     YA KNOW. BOY... Ti 
     
     A DEEPLY PHILOSOPHICAL 
     
     (AN... 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     WHILE T URS WWE 
     
    
   
   
    
     Yh TS WEEK... STRIPPED % 
     
    
   
   
    
     —Y ; 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     ‘| she was there.” 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     EXCUK MET ST WT 
     
     SIX ROACH HOTELS! 
     
     WHERE ARE MY 
     
    

    
     COACH 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     THE BIBLICAL 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     Hospital After Falling in 
     
     Love With Goal Post 
     
    
   
   
    
     “I just couldn’t help myself. 
     
     I was looking for someone strong 
     
     and dependable to lean on, and 
     
     That was Val 
     
     Rigley’s comment form his new 
     
     home at the QEH Ward 9. 
     
    

    
     His-infatuation with Post, as 
     
     he affectionately refers to the 
     
     university’s oldest standing goal 
     
     post, began more than a year ago. 
     
     He had just broken up with a 
     
     56 Buick, claiming that she was 
     
     looking at too many other cars 
     
     and men. 
     
    

    
     “Post is not just a goal post, 
     
     she is very strong and tough. She 
     
     can be cold at times, but she 
     
     is dependable.” His infatuation 
     
     with inanimate objects started in 
     
     his childhood when he fell in love 
     
     with his stuffed bear. 
     
    
   
   
    
     “I always though the boy was 
     
    
   
   
    
     a bit strange,” said his mother 
     
     in a phone interview, “ he once 
     
     said he could never trust anyone 
     
     like Teddy”. At first, she thought 
     
    
   
   
    
     ‘that he was referring to a female 
     
    
   
   
    
     playmate, but learned the differ- 
     
     ence when she lost the bear on a 
     
     family outing. “He was so upset, 
     
     it broke my heart, but there was 
     
     nothing I could do.” 
     
    

    
     His most recent infatuation 
     
     began during a football game 
     
     when he was tackled into the end 
     
     zone and had to lean on the post 
     
     to regain his wind. “It was so 
     
     wonderful. At that moment, I 
     
     knew that there would be no one 
     
     else for me.” 
     
    
   
   
    
     Currently, Val is residing in 
     
     Ward Nine of the QEH and is 
     
     deeply involved with his food 
     
     tray. 
     
    
   
   
    
     TuiS USED To BE BLANK SPACE. 
     
    
   
   
    
     : GBR Bs SSSSSSSSSSSaa== Thursday,