.1.~suN;SEPT. 2f 
     
    
   
   
    
     i§§*§***I§§§§*§I***I**i* 
     
    
   
   
    
     Business Society News*** 
     
    
   
   
    
     **THE.KELLY OUTLOOK*§i§i 
     
     {*illiiifilii**§ifiiilfliifi 
     
    
   
   
    
     Hello and Welcome once 
     
    
   
   
    
     n to BUSINESS SOCIETY 
     
     ! . 
     
    
   
   
    
     We know that you all 
     
     , anxiously awaiting 
     
     ght's Business Pub. And 
     
     those of you who don't 
     
     this until Friday we 
     
     ogize for your sore head 
     
    

    
     horrendous’ hangover.v 
     
    

    
     you in mind we are 
     
     ing this with‘ a soft 
     
    
   
   
    
     The Pub begins at 8:30 
     
     tonight (Thursday) at 
     
     Barn with Cosmos Music 
     
     ited playing all the 
     
     in music. A note to 
     
     engineers fortunate to 
     
     through the door, if you 
     
     to bring UPEIfs answer 
     
     Mickey Mouse, Baird 
     
     on, tell him to bring an 
     
     (or a areasonable hand 
     
     n facsimile) as well as ’ 
     
     te from! his roommate,.. 
     
     y Judsonu “'» ~ 
     
    
   
   
    
     We would also like to 
     
     k those many Engineers 
     
     bought Business Society 
     
     erships in a valiant 
     
    
   
   
    
     mpt to. join J.J.'s 
     
     pers. Unfortunately, it 
     
     t cure your impotency. 
     
    
   
   
    
     is a tip for you 
     
     neers: don't tell any' 
     
     numb from alcohol, and 
     
     for some unknown reason 
     
     stand the stinch, that 
     
     are an engineer. She 
     
     realize it when her 
     
     begin to water and~ her 
     
     ach begins to turn. 
     
     By the way, THE 
     
     SOCIETY ‘ is 
     
    
   
   
    
     Boring its annual golf 
     
    
   
   
    
     nament Wednesday, Oct. 
     
     There are still. 
     
     ings for Business 
     
    
   
   
    
     ents and the caddy -list 
     
     udes such favorites as 
     
     " I'll wash your balls" 
     
     8, George " Use my nose 
     
     a tee" Zakem (our first 
     
     rt caddy), and Dougie- 
     
     no bigger than a golf 
     
     " Wright. (Watch it 
     
     ers he would love you to 
     
     the wrong club. 
     
     her details will follow 
     
    
   
   
    
     quard \Casell’s Hot 
     
     Saturday from THE 
     
     NESS SOCIETY ' office. 
     
     coverage will be 
     
    
   
   
    
     ided 'by NBC, CBC, ABC, 
     
     and CCCP-TV. 
     
    
   
   
    
     BU$INE$§ $ 
     
    
   
   
    
     In the 
     
     higher learning we feel a 
     
     great responsibility as the 
     
     most elite students on 
     
     campus to educate all the 
     
     blobbering idiots on Campus 
     
     especially. the morons in 
     
     Duffy. "Editors note: This 
     
     questionaire is designed for 
     
     all engineers who can read 
     
    
   
   
    
     (both V of them). 
     
     Instructions: ' Write down 
     
     the 'proper letter that 
     
     (answers the corresponding 
     
     question: (Note: 
     
     Engineers: Spelling 
     
    
   
   
    
     mistakes don't count!) 1. 
     
    
   
   
    
     "What has an IQ less than 70? 
     
    
   
   
    
     A. Mongoloid 
     
     B. Local illiterates 
     
     C. engineers 
     
    
   
   
    
     Hint: This ’is tricky 
     
     as B and C are the same. 
     
    
   
   
    
     2. An artsie and an 
     
     Engineer jump off of the top 
     
     of Duffy. .’Who hits the 
     
     ground first? ' 
     
    
   
   
    
     . A. Artsie“»r,_ 
     
     B. engineer" 
     
     C. Who cares? 
     
     3. Who are most likely 
     
     to contract 
     
     A.I.D.S.? 
     
    
   
   
    
     A. Homosexuals 
     
    
   
   
    
     00.00.00.000.00.00......000.0000.. 
     
    
   
   
    
     Two Locations 
     
    
   
   
    
     “0000.... 0.0000000000.00 
     
    
   
   
    
         
     
    
   
   
    
     interest o ~ 
     
    
   
   
    
     . Remarks 
     
    
   
   
    
     the disease, 
     
    
   
   
    
     Capt 
     
    
   
   
    
     - ChariottetOwn Mali 
     
     ' 115 Kent St. 
     
    
   
   
    
     B. Haitians 
     
     C. engineers 
     
    
   
   
    
     Hint: Another tricky 
     
    
   
   
    
     one as both A and C are the 
     
    
   
   
    
     same. 
     
    
   
   
    
     If you -scored, 0 you 
     
    
   
   
    
     . can pick up your engineering 
     
    
   
   
    
     diploma in any washroom on 
     
     Campus. If you scored 1, 
     
     you are an Artsie. If you 
     
     scored 2, you are an Artsie 
     
     on the Dean’s list. If you 
     
     scored 3, you are obviously 
     
     the Chairman of engineering, 
     
     whoever you are. (Don't 
     
     bother writing to tell us 
     
     your name because frankly we 
     
     don't care.) 
     
    
   
   
    
     If you remember last 
     
     week's "Speu from the Slop" 
     
     the cellar-dwellers of Duffy 
     
     were once again making low 
     
     blows. ( Speaking of low 
     
     blows how is the job 
     
     situation for engineers?) 
     
     directed at our 
     
     Dirctor, Mr. J. ' Joseph 
     
     Revell were no doubt made in 
     
     envy as everybody knows that 
     
     engineers dream' of being 
     
     Business Students (which the 
     
     laws of nature ‘have so 
     
     graciously prohibited). 
     
     After speaking with Ron 
     
     Collins he assured us he'd 
     
     rather have hemroids than 
     
     AIDS., disease plagueing the 
     
    
   
   
    
     engineering community who 
     
     frequently use the back 
     
     door. And 
     
    
   
   
    
     speaking of 
     
    
   
   
    
     .3 
     
     v 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     SUBMAHINE SANDWICHES 8 A WHOLE LOT MORE 
     
     Grea'f Sub sole 
     
     student special 
     
    
   
   
    
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     V 2 FOR THE PRICE OF ONE 1 
     
    
   
   
    
     With coupon 
     
    
   
   
    
     OCIETY 
     
    
   
   
    
     Sfilbnwmo 
     
    
   
   
    
     Offer Expires 
     
     - Sept. 30, 1983 
     
    
   
   
    
     00000.00..00.0000000.00.000.000.00000000000000...00.00‘000003000 
     
    
   
   
    
     PAGE 3 
     
     hemroids, what do you call 
     
     hemroids on an engineer? 
     
     Why SPEED BUMPS, of course! 
     
    
   
   
    
     On a more serious note, why 
     
     do engineers swim on their 
     
     back? So the minnows won’t 
     
     nibble at their worm. And 
     
     what do sharks call an 
     
     engineer swimming in the 
     
     ocean? Junk food. ' 
     
    
   
   
    
     Well thats it for this 
     
     week. So don't forget the 
     
     pub tonight at The Barn at 
     
     8:30 p.m. Happy Hour prices 
     
     all night! And watch for 
     
     news on the golf tournament. 
     
    
   
   
    
     TILL NEXT TIME Buy low 
     
     and sell high! 
     
    
   
   
    
     J.J.'s Troopers 
     
    
   
   
    
     ‘lfiiiifiiiifiiii*******§******* 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     . 
     
     e00...’00000000000000.00... 
     
    
   
   
    
     ~000000.0000000000.00.00.000