The
      Salsa
      Dancing
      Sillies
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      2
      3
      -
      pause
      pause
      -
      right
      foot
      back-
     
     
      ward
      and
      return
      6
      7
      8,
      repeat,
     
     
      repeat,
      etcetera,
      etcetera
      kind
      of
     
     
      thing.
      And
      I
      like
      it.
      Technically
     
     
      quite
      very
      simple
      to
      learn,
      but
      you
     
     
      gotta’
      have
      something
      else
      to
      go
     
     
      with
      it,
      see.
      Some
      people
      would
     
     
      call
      it
      soul
      but
      I
      don't
      quite
      like
      the
     
     
      word
      because
      of
      it's
      evil
      connota-
     
     
      tions
      -
      I'll
      call
      it
      something
      else
      -
     
     
      squiggle.
      In
      any
      case
      we're
      simply
     
     
      not
      made
      to
      move
      like
      refrigera-
     
     
      tors.
      And
      that's
      all
      I'm
      saying
      -
      and
     
     
      when
      you're
      doing
      the
      salsa
      espe-
     
     
      cially
      so!
      But
      WHAT-the-hellova-
     
     
      christ-my-pits-smell-healthy-as-
     
     
      ever-EVER,
      my
      fucking
      dance
     
     
      partners
      took
      off
      when
      they...
      real-
     
     
      ized,
      it
      was
      going
      to
      cost
      five
     
     
      bucks.
     
    

    
     
      Lift
      left
      leg
      forward,
      plant
     
     
      foot.
      Bring
      right
      foot
      forward,
     
     
      plant
      foot.
      And
      fuck
      the
      lord,
      don't
     
     
      be
      so
      goddamn
      mechanical!
      Come
     
     
      on,
      through
      the
      door
      and
      into
      the
     
     
      gym
      you
      doofy
      bastard,
      all
      by
      your
     
     
      ridiculousilly
      lonesome
      self
      -
      you
     
     
      ludicrous
      monster!
      And
      bend
      your
     
     
      knees
      you
      rusty
      techno-bot
      baby
     
     
      child
      -
      our
      men
      are
      real,
      not
      made
     
     
      of
      steel!
      -
      or
      floating
      ghosts
      who
     
     
      finally
      become
      whole
      once
      they
     
     
      die,
      souls
      set
      free
      from
      the
      entrap-
     
     
      ment
      of
      the
      physical
      body,
      really.
     
     
      All
      sounds
      rather
      silly
      to
      me
      but
     
     
      might
      there
      be
      some
      kind
      of
      some-
     
     
      thing,
      somewhere
      maybe?
     
     
      Mommy?
      Where
      the
      what
      is
      it!?!
     
     
      Is
      it,
      even?
     
    

    
     
      Umm...
      oh,
      right
      right!
      -
     
     
      and
      the
      women!
      The
      women
      are
     
     
      not
      made
      of
      steel
      either,
      so
      bend
     
     
      your
      fucking
      knees
      you
      filthy
     
     
      bitches!
      Get
      down
      and
      give
      me
     
     
      twenty!
      You
      too
      Otto,
      I
      saw
      the
     
     
      way
      you
      sympathized
      with
      them
     
    
   
   
    
     
      just
      a
      moment
      ago!
      And
      don't
      go
     
     
      and
      get
      all
      offended
      now
      you
      hap-
     
     
      less
      ninnies,
      this
      poor
      dying
      writer
     
     
      who
      had,
      once
      presently!
      been
     
     
      writing
      this
      written
      word
      down
      -
     
     
      the
      silly
      fool
      -
      has
      simply
      wrote
      it
     
     
      all
      down
      as
      it's
      happened
      in
      the
     
     
      past,
      and
      as
      it
      still
      happens
      now
      -
     
     
      so
      dig
      it,
      or
      throw
      away
      the
      fuck-
     
     
      ing
      shovel
      and
      start
      scratching
      the
     
     
      surface
      with
      your
      careful
      finger-
     
     
      nails,
      you
      fumbling,
      bumbling
     
     
      fools.
     
    

    
     
      Now
      quick!
      Get
      inside
      and
     
     
      hide
      behind
      someone,
      don't
      let
      that
     
     
      Nazi
      instructor
      see
      you.
      Pretend
     
     
      you
      know
      someone,
      but
      pretend
      to
     
     
      yourself.
      So
      we
      switched
      partners
     
     
      after
      every
      song
      and
      it
      didn't
      matter
     
     
      that
      I
      knew
      no-one,
      and
      the
      instruc-
     
     
      tor
      lightened
      up
      a
      bit!
      -
      once
      she
     
     
      got
      to
      dance
      with
      me
      of
      course.
      I
     
     
      even
      got
      to
      dance
      with
      another
      boy,
     
     
      golly!
      I
      lead
      him
      through
      terrific
     
     
      smiling
      twirls,
      my
      hands
      on
      his,
      his
     
     
      hands
      touching
      mine.
      We
      danced
     
     
      and
      he
      told
      me
      his
      story
      -
      twirl
      6
      7
     
     
      8
      twirl,
      dip,
      catch
      as
      rose
      in
      your
     
     
      mouth,
      smile
      and
      send
      your
      hand
     
     
      out
      and
      up
      in
      an
      arc
      to
      catch
      a
     
     
      fresh
      full
      bottle
      of
      wine
      and
      two
     
     
      clean
      delicate
      glasses.
      Return
      1
      2
      3
     
     
      -
      open
      pour
      -
      6
      7
      8
      drink
      and
      con-
     
     
      tinue...
     
    

    
     
      Left
      foot
      forward
      and
      return
     
     
      1
      2
      3
      -
      pause
      -
      left
      foot
      backward
     
     
      and
      return
      6
      7
      8,
      but
      keep
      that
      right
     
     
      foot
      pivoting
      in
      place.
      Turn
      in
      a
     
     
      clockwork
      fashion
      and
      we're
      now
     
     
      doing
      the
      Meremgue.
      This
      Spanish
     
     
      dancing
      class
      was
      put
      on
      by
      Helen
     
     
      Wills,
      after
      Spanish
      language
      stu-
     
     
      dent
      Adriana
      Lopez
      invited
      her
      to
     
     
      come
      to
      the
      school
      in
      order
      to
      pro-
     
     
      mote
      awareness
      surrounding
     
     
      Spanish
      culture.
     
    

    
     
      So
      if
      anyone
      is
      interested
      in
     
     
      taking
      Latin,
      Hip-hop,
      or
      even
     
    
   
   
    
     
      dance-fitness
      dancing
      classes,
     
     
      Wills
      can
      be
      contacted
      at
      The
      Book
     
     
      Emporium
      on
      169
      Queen
      St,
      or
      by
     
     
      telephone
      at
      628-2001.
      Hip-hop
     
     
      dance
      classes
      run
      from
      6:15
      to
     
     
      7:15,
      while
      Latin
      dancing
      goes
     
     
      from
      7:30
      to
      8:30
      pm
      on
      Monday
     
     
      and
      Wedsnesday
      nights.
      The
      price
     
     
      is
      7
      dollars
      per
      class
      if
      you're
      over
     
     
      the
      age
      of
      18,
      or
      the
      purchasing
      of
     
     
      a
      10-class
      card
      will
      cost
      you
      60
     
     
      dollars,
      saving
      you
      ten
      for
      the
      bot-
     
     
      tle
      of
      wine
      and
      the
      rose
      -
      you
     
     
      might
      have
      to
      choke
      down
      on
     
     
      Great
      White
      wine,
      but
      the
      rose
      is
     
     
      also
      very
      important.
      You
      see,
      it's
     
    
   
   
    
     
      all
      about
      the
      theater
      of
      simply
      hav-
     
     
      ing
      that
      classic
      red
      rose
      in
      your
     
     
      mouth
      -
      obviously
      it
      should
      also
      be
     
     
      caught
      it
      in
      the
      mouth
      when
      you
     
     
      catch
      the
      rest
      of
      the
      stuff
      in
      you
     
     
      hands
      -
      a
      little
      more
      class,
      please!
     
     
      And
      I'd
      say
      yes
      to
      a
      little
     
     
      more
      class
      -
      find
      a
      partner
      and
      dip
     
     
      on
      down
      to
      see
      Helen
      Wills.
      Take
      a
     
     
      few
      classes
      and
      see
      if
      you
      like
      it
      -
     
     
      but
      do
      you
      really
      need
      a
      partner?
     
     
      Go
      for
      it
      you
      no-good-pansy-boy
     
     
      bottom-bitting
      bridge-troll-eating
     
     
      divine-portable-sandwich
      with
     
     
      crocodile
      teeth!
      Or
      girl,
      really.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      UPEI
      Cadre
      November
      24
      2003
      page
      12