Do
      you
      want
      to
      do
      something
      beneficial
      for
      the
     
     
      environment?
      Do
      you
      want
      to
      save
      the
      lives
      of
     
     
      millions
      of
      wild
      animals
      and
      birds?
      Do
      you
     
     
      want
      to
      protect
      endangered
      animals
      such
      as
      the
     
     
      Piping
      Plover?
      Then
      shoot
      your
      cat.
      And
      while
     
     
      you’re
      at,
      it
      shoot
      all
      your
      neighbours’
      cats
      and
     
     
      the
      ones
      at
      the
      barn
      up
      the
      road
      from
      your
      house.
     
    

    
     
      In
      the
      United
      States
      alone
      there
      are
      an
      esti-
     
     
      mated
      55
      million
      house
      cats.
      Out
      of
      these
     
     
      approximately
      20%
      of
      them
      are
      kept
      inside
      all
     
     
      day
      or
      are
      unable
      or
      unwilling
      to
      hunt.
      As
      for
     
     
      the
      other
      44
      million
      animals,
      let’s
      be
      conserva-
     
     
      tive
      and
      say
      that
      only
      one
      out
      of
      ten
      will
      kill
      a
     
     
      bird
      today.
      That
      means
      that
      today
      alone,
      4.4
     
     
      million
      song
      birds
      were
      killed
      in
      the
      U.S.
      by
     
     
      house
      cats
      and
      that
      this
      year
      160.4
      million
      song
     
     
      birds
      will
      become
      tender
      vittles.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Many
      of
      these
      song
      birds
      will
      be
      rare
      or
     
     
      endangered;
      cats
      don’t
      see
      birds
      as
      a
      species,
     
     
      they
      see
      them
      as
      a
      warm
      snack
      or
      an
      interesting
     
     
      toy.
      They
      can’t
      tell
      the
      difference
      between
      an
     
     
      American
      Blue
      bird
      (rare)
      and
      an
      American
     
     
      Robin
      (thicker
      n’
      flies).
      True,
      they
      may
      kill
     
     
      millions
      of
      rodents,
      but
      when
      they
      do
      this
      they
     
     
      are
      simply
      removing
      a
      food
      resource
      that
      sus-
     
     
      tains
      native
      wildlife
      suchas
      foxes,
      hawks,
      owls,
     
     
      and
      raccoons.
      The
      harm
      they
      do
      overshadows
     
     
      the
      good.
      Idon’t
      hate
      cats.
      Ihave
      one
      and
      for
     
     
      years
      he
      left
      the
      remains
      of
      two
      mice
      on
      the
     
     
      doorstep
      every
      morning.
      This
      parleyed
      into
      730
     
     
      little
      corpses
      every
      year
      -
      not
      bad
      considering
     
     
      the
      ones
      he
      probably
      ate
      in
      the
      field
      before
     
     
      bringing
      the
      others
      home.
      Today
      my
      cat
      wears
     
     
      a
      bell
      and
      no
      little
      mice
      are
      brought
      home
      half
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      alive
      and
      mangled
      because
      he
      is
      also
      kept
      in
      at
     
     
      night
      -
      when
      cats
      most
      prefer
      to
      hunt.
     
    

    
     
      If
      you
      have
      a
      cat,
      keep
      it
      in
      the
      house.
      If
      it
     
     
      must
      leave
      the
      house,
      put
      a
      loud,
      obnoxious
      bell
     
     
      on
      it
      so
      that
      other
      animals
      can
      hear
      it
      coming.
      If
     
     
      you
      see
      your
      cat
      stalking
      an
      animal,
      chase
      it
     
     
      away.
      Don’t
      let
      your
      kitty
      become
      an
      ecologi-
     
     
      cal
      terrorist.
      Hunters
      in
      P.E.I.
      and
      every
      other
     
     
      province
      and
      state
      are
      entitled
      and,
      in
      fact,
     
     
      encouraged
      to
      shoot
      any
      feral
      cat
      (or
      dog)
      they
     
     
      happen
      across
      -
      by
      definition
      this
      means
      if
     
     
      Sylvester
      ain’t
      got
      a
      collar,
      he’s
      hamburger.
      So
     
     
      far,
      few
      hunters
      exercise
      this
      right,
      but
      if
      they
     
     
      were
      informed
      as
      to
      the
      number
      of
      ducklings
     
     
      and
      young
      grouse
      that
      wild,
      stray,
      and
      house
     
     
      cats
      destroyed,
      you
      can
      bet
      there
      would
      be
      fur
     
     
      balls
      all
      over
      the
      place.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      BIODEFINITIONS
     
     
      Sexual
      reproduction:
      the
      production
      of
      rea-
     
     
      sonable
      facsimiles
      by
      two
      individuals
      of
      oppo-
     
     
      site
      gender
      engaged
      in
      a
      pleasurable
      (usually)
     
     
      act
     
     
      "Asexual
      reproduction:
      The
      Stork
     
     
      Microbiology:
      the
      study
      of
      objects
      too
      small
     
     
      to
      be
      seen
      with
      the
      naked
      eye.
      Namely:
      the
     
     
      brains
      of
      arts
      students,
      the
      hearts
      of
      business
     
     
      students,
      the
      vocabulary
      of
      chemists,
      and
      the
     
     
      sexual
      appendages
      of
      engineers.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      UPCOMING
      EVENTS
     
    
   
   
    
     
      We’ll
      let
      you
      know
      more
      later.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
        
     
    
   
   
    
     
      [T'S
      TIME
      FOR
      DOMINO'S
      PIZZA"
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      EXPERIENCE
      JAPAN
     
    
   
   
    
     
      About
      350
      Canadians
      will
      experience
      Japan
      as
     
     
      Assistant
      English
      Teachers
      beginning
      August
      1,
      1994.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      The
      1994
      Japan
      Exchange
      and
     
     
      Teaching
      (JET)
      Programme
     
    
   
   
    
     
      STUDENT
     
     
      SPECIAL
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Large
      15"
      pepperoni
      &
      cheese
     
     
      For
      Only
      $9.99
      plus
      tax
     
    
   
   
    
     
      The
      JET
      Programme
      is
      an
      international
      cultural
      exchange
     
     
      sponsored
      by
      the
      by
      the
      Government
      of
      Japan.
      Applicants
      must
     
     
      be
      Canadian,
      have
      a
      bachelors
      degree
      by
      the
      end
      of
      June
      1994
     
     
      and
      preferably
      be
      under
      the
      age
      of
      35.
      Salary
      is
      approximately
     
     
      $3,000
      Canadian/month.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Do
      not
      send
      resumes.
      For
      details
      and
      an
      application
      form
      write
     
     
      The
      JET
      Desk
     
     
      Consulate-General
      of
      Japan
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Weiner
      Sorcha
      600
      de
      la
      Gauchetiere
      West,
      Suite
      1785
     
     
      ¢
      Fast
      free
      delivery
      Montreal,
      QC
     
    
   
   
    
     
      (No
      faxes
      please!)
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      ¢
      Guaranteed
      delivery
      within
      30
      minutes
     
    
   
   
    
     
      ca
      566-9000
     
    
   
   
    
     
      (QTUDENTSAVER
     
     
      393
      University
      Avenue
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      October
      14,
      1993/X-Press/25