The
      University
      of
      Prince
      Edward
      Island
     
     
      Journalistic
      Society
      Presents
     
    
   
   
    
     
      A
      Dinner
     
     
      Of
      lurkies
     
    
   
   
    
     
      By
      Trent
      Drake
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      This
      Week:
      Cartoons!!!
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      IT
      SHOULD
      COME
      AS
      NO
      SURPRISE
      TO
     
     
      any
      reader
      of
      this
      column
      that!
      am
      more
      thana
      little
     
     
      Looney
      Tunes.
      Whenever
      a
      cat
      gets
      a
      stripe
     
     
      painted
      down
      her
      back
      and
      ends
      up
      detonating
      the
     
     
      libido
      of
      a
      suave
      French
      skunk,
      |
      heartily
      long
      to
      be
     
     
      there.
      Whenever
      the
      laws
      of
      physics
      bend
      in
      order
     
     
      to
      maima
      hapless
      coyote
      in
      his
      own
      devices,
      |
      insult
     
     
      him
      by
      beeping.
      And
      when
      an
      egotistical
      green
      duck
     
     
      gets
      smashed
      by
      an
      endless
      stream
      of
      heat-seeking
     
     
      anvils,
      |
      applaud
      and
      call
      it
      a
      work
      of
      genius.
      |
      long
     
     
      to
      be
      a
      ‘toon,
      one
      so
      berserk
      that
      even
      falling
     
     
      boulders
      pause
      to
      laugh
      before
      pushing
      my
      head
     
     
      through
      my
      feet
      (how’s
      that
     
     
      for
      an
      image’).
     
    

    
     
      And
      on
      a
      different
      level,
     
     
      |
      also
      stand
      in
      awe
      of
     
     
      animation,
      that
      lengthy
      and
     
     
      beautiful
      process
      of
      sitting
     
     
      at
      a
      desk
      for
      hours
      on
      end,
     
     
      drawing
      the
      same
      picture
      and
      changing
      small
      details
     
     
      so
      that
      a
      candelabra
      can
      cop
      a
      feel
      off
      a
      feather-
     
     
      duster...
      a
      pair
      of
      mismatched
      lovers
      can
      dance...
     
     
      anda
      stuttering
      rabbit
      can
      marrya
      sultry
      vamp...and
     
     
      the
      course
      of
      true
      love
      can
      eventually
      run
      smooth.
     
    

    
     
      And
      if
      you
      recognized
      any
      of
      the
      situations
     
     
      above,
      you've
      obviously
      been
      watching
      lots
      of
     
     
      recent
      Disney
      stuff.
      But
      while
      |
      hold
      nothing
      against
     
     
      Disney,
      it
      would
      be
      a
      mistake
      to
      assume
      that
      they
     
     
      had
      a
      corner
      on
      the
      animation
      market.
      So,
      today
     
     
      we
      are
      going
      to
      go
      over
      a
      few
      non-Disney,
      not-
     
     
      generally-watched
      cartoons.
      And
      we'll
      start
      with
     
     
      one
      that
      really
      stinks.
     
    

    
     
      Revenge
      of
      the
      Ninja
      Warrior
      is
      possibly
      the
      single
     
     
      worst
      example
      of
      Japanese
      animation
      |
      have
      ever
     
     
      seen
      (no,
      |
      take
      that
      back.
      Goldwing,
      a
      splendid
     
     
      example
      of
      horrid
      60’s
      T.V.
      animation,
      is
      the
     
     
      worst,).
      It’s
      the
      story
      of
      Jo,a
      young
      orphan
      whose
     
     
      mother
      is
      killed
      by
      a
      ninja
      who
      frames
      him
      for
      the
     
    
   
   
    
     
      murder.
      The
      ninja’s
      boss
      then
      adopts
      Jo,
      trains
      him,
     
     
      sends
      him
      on
      a
      mission
      and
      sends
      another
      ninja
      to
     
     
      kill
      him.
      Jo
      escapes,
      and,
      over
      the
      longand
      confusing
     
     
      course
      of
      the
      movie,
      encounters
      black
      slavery,
     
     
      female
      wave-walking
      ninjas,
      and
      a
      young
      American
     
     
      reporter
      who
      turns
      out
      to
      be
      French
      but
      was
      born
     
     
      in
      Japan.
      As
      if
      that
      weren’t
      enough,
      Jo’s
      sword
      turns
     
     
      out
      to
      be
      the
      key
      to
      Captain
      Kid’s
      treasure,
      he
      kills
     
     
      the
      evil
      high
      priest
      three
      times
      and
      even
      meets
      Mark
     
     
      Twain.
      Makes
      a
      lot
      of
      sense,
      right?
     
    

    
     
      While
      the
      plot
      is
      confusing,
      the
      animation
      is
     
     
      ridiculously
      simple.
      It’s
      about
      on
      a
      par
      with
      the
      old
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Whenever
      a
      cat
      gets
      a
      stripe
      painted
      down
      her
      back
     
     
      and
      ends
      up
      detonating
      the
      libido
      of
      a
      suave
      French
     
     
      skunk,
      |
      heartily
      long
      to
      be
      there.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Voltron
      series
      (which
      was
      worse
      than
      you
      remember,
     
     
      but
      |
      loved
      it
      anyway),
      but
      with
      so
      many
      speed
      lines,
     
     
      gritty
      close-ups
      and
      over-used
      laser
      effects
      that
     
     
      your
      head
      will
      spin.
      It’s
      not
      that
      it’s
      incredibly
      bad,
     
     
      but
      the
      horrific
      dialogue,
      poor
      sound
      dubbing
      and
     
     
      unexplainable
      story
      render
      it
      unwatchable.
     
    

    
     
      Best
      Line:
      Jo
      to
      two
      people
      he’s
      never
      seen
     
     
      before:
      “You
      are
      the
      only
      two
      that
      survived.
      |
      am
     
     
      grateful.”
      |
      still
      don’t
      know
      why.
     
    

    
     
      Bottom
      Line:
      Do
      you
      want
      a
      headache?
      Here's
     
     
      one
      way
      to
      get
      one.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Tiny
      Toons:
      How
      |
      Spent
      My
      Vacation
      is
      the
     
     
      funniest
      travelogue
      I’ve
      ever
      seen.
      Based
      on
      the
     
     
      frequently
      hysterical
      T.V.
      show
      (if
      you
      haven’t
     
     
      watched
      it,
      your
      world
      is
      a
      lot
      less
      fun),
      this
      flick
     
     
      presents
      us
      with
      a
      hilarious
      look
      at
      how
      the
     
     
      students
      of
      ACME
      Looniversity
      spendtheir
      summer.
     
     
      Buster
      Bunny
      starts
      a
      water
      war
      with
      Babs
      that
     
    
   
   
    
     
      escalates
      into
      a
      double
      flooding
      of
      ACME
      Acres
      and
     
     
      leaves
      the
      combatants
      floating
      downriver.
      They
     
     
      spend
      the
      rest
      of
      the
      summer
      dodging
      people
      who
     
     
      want
      to
      eat
      them,
      including
      a
      family
      of
      hillbilly
     
     
      possums
      and
      a
      trio
      of
      truly
      terrifying
      alligator
     
     
      sisters.
     
    

    
     
      Meanwhile,
      Plucky
      Duck
      cons
      Hamton
      Pig
      into
     
     
      letting
      him
      come
      along
      on
      the
      pig
      family
      trip
      to
      the
     
     
      happiest
      amusement
      park
      on
      the
      planet:
      Happy
     
     
      World
      Land.
      But
      it’s
      a
      car
      trip
      from
      hell.
      Plucky
     
     
      must
      endure
      endless
      miles
      of
      desert
      terrain,
      sight
     
     
      gags,
      horrifying
      family
      sing-a-longs
      (including
      the
      hit
     
     
      "99
      Bottles
      of
      Non-Alcoholic
      Beverage
      on
      the
     
     
      Wall"),
      car
      games
      so
      sickeningly
      wholesome
      even
     
     
      Barney
      would
      cringe,
      anda
      very
      psychotic,
      chainsaw-
     
     
      wielding,
      pig-hating
      hitchhiker
      who
      suddenly
      decides
     
     
      he
      hates
      ducks,
      too.
     
    

    
     
      All
      this,
      plus
      Elmyra
      heaping
      loving
      torture
      on
     
     
      an
      entire
      safari
      parkand
      talk-show
      host
      cameos
      and
     
     
      at
      least
      a
      dozen
      gags
      in
      the
      closing
      credits.
      That's
     
     
      a
      lot
      of
      good,
      clean
      fun
      for
      a
      ninety
      minute
      video.
     
    

    
     
      The
      animation?
      Good,
      clean,
      funny.
      But
      you
     
     
      knew
      that.
     
    

    
     
      Best
      Line:
      “Perhaps
      I’ve
      gone
      too
      far...”
      -Babs
     
     
      Bunny,
      after
      opening
      a
      dam
      and
      flooding
      ACME
     
     
      Acres
      in
      a
      futile
      attempt
      to
      drench
      Buster.
     
    

    
     
      Bottom
      Line:
      You
      will
      laugh.
      It
      is
      very
      funny.
      It’s
     
     
      the
      funniest
      thing
      the
      Tiny
      Toons
      have
      ever
      done.
     
     
      There
      are
      so
      many
      great
      gags
      |
      can’t
      even
      begin
      to
     
     
      name
      them
      all...
      just
      watch
      it.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Starchaser:
      the
      Legend
      of
      Orin:
      This
      is
      a
      very
     
     
      weird
      movie.
      On
      a
      world
      where
      everyone
      lives
     
     
      underground
      and
      mines
      crystals
      in
      the
      service
      of
      a
     
     
      tyrannical
      ‘god’,
      a
      young
      man
      named
      Orin
      finds
      a
     
     
      mystical
      sword.
      The
      sword
      instructs
      him
      to
      leave
     
     
      his
      cavern
      home
      and
      go
      to
      the
      surface,
      despite
      the
     
     
      claims
      of
      the
      ‘god’
      Zoron
      that
      ‘up’
      is
      where
      hell
      is,
     
     
      and
      then
      the
      blade
      vanishes.
      Orin
      soon
      discovers
     
     
      that
      his
      people
      are
      slaves
      to
      a
      galactic
      economy
      that
     
     
      uses
      the
      crystals
      for
      starship
     
     
      fuel.
      But
      everyone
      knows
      that
     
     
      the
      mines
      are
      worked
      by
     
     
      robots...
      aren’t
      they?
      As
      Orin
     
     
      seeks
      the
      bladeand
      ameans
      to
     
     
      free
      his
      captive
      people,
      he
     
     
      meets
      up
      with
      the
      assorted
     
     
      scum
      of
      the
      galaxy
      and
      makes
     
     
      allies
      of
      some
      suspiciously
      familiar
      people:a
      starship
     
     
      captain
      who
      acts
      like
      Han
      Solo
      and
      looks
      like
     
     
      Humphrey
      Bogart;
      a
      Princess
      who
      looks
      like
      Leia
     
     
      but
      without
      the
      hairy
      earmuffs;
      a
      neurotic
      ship’s
     
     
      computer
      named
      Arthur
      who's
      like
      C3PO
      but
     
     
      funnier;
      anda
      fembot
      with
      the
      hots
      for
      the
      Captain.
     
    

    
     
      The
      animation
      quality
      is
      a
      bit
      of
      a
      mixed
      bag.
     
     
      The
      character
      animation
      is
      a
      little
      flawed.
      Orin
      in
     
     
      particular
      appears
      to
      be
      somewhat
      two-dimensional
     
     
      at
      times.
      But
      the
      film
      is
      noteworthy
      for
      its
      early
     
     
      computer
      animation
      techniques,
      which
      are
      quite
     
     
      effective
      in
      rendering
      the
      spaceships
      even
      if
      they
     
     
      don’t
      quite
      have
      the
      detail
      of
      some
      recent
      stuff
      like
     
     
      Aladdin.
     
    

    
     
      Best
      Line:
      “I’m
      naked!
      Put
      my
      ship
      back
      on,
      you
     
     
      perverted
      fembot!”-
      Arthur.
     
    

    
     
      Bottom
      Line:
      An
      original
      and
      enjoyable
      space
     
     
      opera,
      despite
      the
      character
      similarities.
      |
      love
      the
     
    
   
   
    
     
      design
      of
      the
      Starchaser
      (that’s
      Arthur’s
      real
      name,
     
     
      even
      though
      they
      only
      use
      it
      once)
      and
      the
      ways
      in
     
     
      which
      it
      moves.
      And
      the
      plot
      and
      dialogue
      are
     
     
      above
      average
      for
      a
      film
      of
      this
      type.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      And
      now,
      because
      this
      is
      getting
      too
      long,
      some
     
     
      quick
      shots
      at
      other
      films
      you
      animation
      freaks
      will
     
     
      enjoy:
     
    

    
     
      We're
      Back:
      a
      Dinosaur’s
      Story:
      Lousy
      children’s
     
     
      film
      about
      a
      bunch
      of
      big,
      dumb
      dinosaurs
      who
     
     
      come
      to
      the
      future
      in
      answer
      to
      calls
      on
      a
      wish
     
     
      radio;
      almost
      totally
      computer-animated,
      and
     
     
      beautiful
      for
      that,
      but
      with
      corny
      dialogue
      that
      will
     
     
      have
      you
      climbing
      the
      walls.
      Turn
      the
      sound
      off
      if
     
     
      you
      watch
      it.
      :
     
    

    
     
      Akira
      and
      Lensman:
      These
      two
      animated
      releases
     
     
      wing
      your
      way
      courtesy
      of
      Streamline
      video,
      and
     
     
      are
      not
      at
      all
      alike.
      Lensman
      is
      a
      bizarre
      adventure
     
     
      across
      vast
      reaches
      of
      space
      full
      of
      thrilling
      chases
     
     
      and
      exciting
      laser
      battles.
      It’s
      a
      little
      hard
      to
      figure
     
     
      out
      in
      spots,
      but
      it’s
      great
      fun
      to
      watch.
      I'll
      have
      to
     
     
      read
      the
      novel
      it
      was
      based
      on.
     
    

    
     
      Akira
      has
      even
      better
      animation,
      but
      it
      has
      the
     
     
      distinction
      of
      being
      very
      confusing.
      The
      story
      ina
     
     
      nutshell:
      The
      military
      abducts
      a
      young
      man
      named
     
     
      Tetsuo
      after
      his
      motorcycle
      gang
      has
      a
      chance
      _
     
     
      encounter
      with
      a
      small,
      blue-skinned
      boy
      of
     
     
      enormous
      psychic
      power.
      They
      use
      a
      strange
     
     
      process
      on
      him
      and
      inadvertently
      turn
      him
      into
      an
     
     
      insane
      monster
      of
      virtually
      unlimited
      telekinetic
     
     
      power.
      Tetsuo
      nearly
      destroys
      Neo-Tokyo,
      and
      in
     
     
      the
      end...
      Well,
      |
      haven’t
      figured
      it
      all
      out.
      An
     
     
      intricate
      science
      fiction
      puzzle
      you'll
      enjoy
      solving
     
     
      presented
      in
      excellent
      Japanimation,
      Akira
      is
      an
     
     
      experience
      not
      to
      be
      missed.
     
    

    
     
      And
      finally,
      at
      the
      other
      end
      of
      the
      spectrum,
      we
     
     
      have
      the
      popular
      Ferngully:
      The
      Last
      Rainforest—
      kind
     
     
      of
      a
      silly
      movie,
      actually,
      and
      while
      the
      animation
      is
     
     
      good
      the
      backgrounds
      are
      rather
      bland
      in
      spots,
     
    

    
     
      however,
      the
      magical
      beauty
      of
      Ferngully
      is
      wel
     
    

    
     
      portrayed
      in
      glowing
      special
      effects,
      |
      like
      the
      “save
     
    

    
     
      the
      planet”
      message
      the
      movie
      conveys,
      there’s4
     
    

    
     
      horrifyingly
      well-done
      computer
      animated
      machine
     
    

    
     
      called
      the
      Leveler
      (the
      name
      does
      not
      say
      it
      all),
      and
     
    

    
     
      it
      has
      three
      pretty
      impressive
      voices
      going
      for
      it.
     
     
      Christian
      Slater
      does
      a
      swaggering
      faerie
      who
     
    

    
     
      makes
      a
      fool
      of
      himself
      trying
      to
      explain
      what
     
    

    
     
      Walkman
      is;
      Robin
      Williams
      works
      his
      patented
     
    

    
     
      hilarity
      into
      Batty,
      a
      schizophrenic
      fruitbat
      who
     
    

    
     
      escapes
      from
      a
      brain-studying
      lab;
      and
      the
      spectre.
     
     
      of
      Ultimate
      Evil
      rears
      its
      head
      once
      again...
      and
      once
     
    

    
     
      again
      it
      turns
      out
      to
      be
      Tim
      Curry,
      this
      time
      as#
     
     
      destructive
      toxic
      monster
      named
      Hexus.
      __
      If
      you
     
    

    
     
      don’t
      minda
      slightly
      preachy
      tone
      in
      your
      films,
      this.
     
     
      movie
      is
      a
      lot
      of
      fun.
      And
      the
      message
      is
      an
     
    

    
     
      important
      one,
      so
      make
      sure
      you
      force’
     
     
      impressionable
      children
      to
      watch
      it.
      The
      planet
      you
     
     
      save
      may
      be
      your
      home.
     
    

    
     
      All
      of
      these
      movies
      are
      available
      anywhere
      in
     
     
      Charlottetown,
      with
      the
      exception
      of
      Revenge
      of
      tht
     
     
      Ninja
      Warrior
      (which
      you
      don’t
      want
      to
      find)
      and
     
     
      Starchaser:
      The
      Legend
      of
      Orin.
      Both
      are
      found
      at
      Plaz0
      |
     
     
      Video,
      erroneously
      placed
      in
      the
      Children’s
      Section.
      |
     
    

    
     
      Til
      next
      year,
      remember:
      Stupidity
      can
      be
      a
      virtue
     
    

    
     
      TRENT
      DRAKE
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
        
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
         
     
     
       
     
     
        
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
          
     
     
        
     
     
         
     
     
         
     
     
         
     
     
        
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      NOTICES
     
    
   
   
    
     
      The
      U.P.E.I.
     
     
      Theatre
      Society
     
    
   
   
    
     
      While
      you're
      still
      recovering
      from
      Pickwick’s
     
     
      great
      success,
      let's
      talk
      about
      next
      year.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      There
      will
      be
      a
      meeting
      for
      both
      old
      and
      new
     
     
      members
      on
      March
      31,
      3:00-4:00,
      in
      Main
      130.
     
     
      You
      don’t
      need
      any
      experience
      in
      the
      theatre
     
     
      to
      join
      us.
     
    

    
     
      We'll
      do
      two
      things.
      First
      we'll
      talk
      about
     
     
      Pickwick
      and
      thank
      our
      director.
      Then
      we'll
     
     
      turn
      to
      next
      term’s
      plans
      for
      our
      evening
      of
     
     
      one-act
      plays.
      If
      you
      know
      about
      a
      short
      play
     
     
      that
      we
      should
      perform
      or
      if
      you
      want
      to
      look
     
     
      for
      one,
      drop
      it
      off
      or
      see
      me
      before
      that
     
     
      meeting.
      Weneedn’tagree
      about
      the
      directors
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      now,
      but
      I'd
      like
      us
      to
      decide
      on
      the
      plays.
     
     
      Shannon
      Murray
     
     
      Department
      of
      English
      (Main
      133)
     
     
      566-0428
     
    
   
   
    
     
      1994
      Spudman
     
     
      Triathlon
     
    
   
   
    
     
      July
      15
      Weekend
     
     
      Dalvay,
      Brackley
      Beach
      National
      Park
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      ‘
      ‘XO
      EVES
      RAD
      ADH
      F
     
     
      ee
      eet
      eee
      eee
      sc
      hess
      te
      sss
      weiaveeere*
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Swim:
      |
      km-
      beautiful
      ocean
      swim
     
     
      Bike:
      40
      km-
      flat,
      fast
      course
      4
     
     
      Run:
      10
      km-
      scenic
      run
      along
      the
      beach
      &
      ||
     
     
      through
      wooded
      trails
     
    

    
     
      “A
      day
      at
      the
      Beach”
     
    

    
     
      Contact
      for
      more
      information:
     
     
      Peter
      Hamill:
      569-3999
     
    

    
     
      Steve
      Dowling:
      892-0445
     
     
      Michael
      Mailman:
      566-3919
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
     
        
     
     
           
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Today!
      |
     
    
   
   
    
     
      e)
     
     
      2S
      APRS
      ERPS
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