4 I A WEEKLY JOURNAL OF : SE iy, cage anaemia eae — — VOL. XXII he Cxaminer 19 PRINTED EVERY MONDAY BY, rp. R. BOWERS, AT, B13 OFFICE, pooks WSST OF THE CATHOLIC CATHEDRAL). TERMS. Ten Shillings per annum in advance, or Twelve Shilllngs whem not paid in advance. )ORCHESTER STRERT, (A FEW MONTREAL A ~ ALMANAC FOR JANUARY. ef UN'S CHANGES. SSS POLL Rote > Re Pa) er eh ; TICS, LITERATURE AND NEWS, — ‘“This is true Liberty, when Freeborn Men, having to advise the Public, may speak free.’=--Euripides. pete ars = lll ; heaptinttienttees mali ‘ ¢ doidw adn ee CHARLOTTETOWN, PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND, MONDAY, JANUARY 16, 1871, es eee een tints ae MARINE INSURANCE. CANADA INSURANCE UNION, COMPRISING THE SSURANCE COMPANY, | Incorporated 1840. Capital and Cash Assets, — - AND ! $1,099,540 ruvonchepeiiny™%,. |BRITISH AMERICA ASSURANCE CO,, OF TORONTO. Last Quarter, 14¢h day, 2b. 4im.,a.m, New Moon, 20th day, 3b. 19m., p. m.,N Ww. Firet Quarter, 25th day, 9h. 2w., a m. 8. Ww ‘ — ! P| pay | SUN suN} Sue |= 2+ |" be i Seize see ° ae iia Pe clock | ees Capital and Cash Assets, upwards of - $500,000 bh omy mm | ‘ baie ae é sua 7 « i ial 39} 1162) 99! Jeint Policies, binding both the above Offices, issued on Vessels, | recordered against’ ine was perpetrated when i -mt E ~ ea = 5 3s) 3) |Cargoes and Freights, to and from all ports of the commercial world VT ‘ vw ‘ -_ — 4| Wed 4 21) 5 32/5 37) 9 12 3 ‘ | Thur | 4) 22} 99) 6 36) 9 44) “33 | $10,000 covered on First-class Risks. q coe, | 2 ; 33 3 uit 2| 37 | RATES MODERATE. , on mel ¢ iv ‘ | . Ses 4. Sle Saket tal bee Losses promptly adjusted and Paid in Cash. wT 42, 29) «47/10 12) 0 55) 42 a . mw 10 wed 7 4t 30| 8 1110 = 135) 44 | FENTON T, NEWBERY, Attorney. jo! Thurs; 4 3i 34/11 3) 2 18) 45 | - 13) Prid 4 34 57)11 27) 3 " 47 | 7 = wat Hse) fp SS «al FIRE DEPARTMENT. % Sur ' oo NA. 21, 9 WM) Ol | 16 Mon | 4 36510 2,15) 6 52| 53 ——— 17} Tues 4. 33] 21) 0 31) 8 3} 56) 1 1 { eed tf uteta2) IMPERIAL FIRE INSURANCE CO 19} Thur 4, 41) 5913 17) 958 59 | C ° 2u) Frid 4)))) 4221 37) 4:23:10 399 1 | Se dct eet ee eed | Head Office. 1 Old Broad Street. London. 22) Sua 3°) 43) 51) 6 46| morn | 6 | ; > foi ts Be 3 ae Subscribed and Invested Capital, - £1,965,0C0 Sterling. os! Wed % | 49) 36lte 33) 2 | 13 | 26) Thar 3 50} 349 1b 9 1 Se) 25 ie EBs SY ara FIRE INSURANCE €O Q-\ Sat 33t 54) 13] 0 191 32a) 21 L I t c 29/ Sun Sy) 55}. 24 L 20) 4 an 23) a oe a0) Mon Sh Hh Sp S23): 2 20 | fice, 45 Wall Street, New York. 3'\ Tues 7 204 5313 42 3 35) 6 37/9 29 Head Office ’ SE eee | Paid Up Capital, - - . . . a = S ; ~ oe o os { 1 Ausiness Gards, Surplus, - | = , s ° ~ | Total Assets, 1st Jan’y, 1870, - - - $726,599 94 | HENRY J. GAFFNEY, M. D., PHYSICIAN & SURGEON, OFFICE [8 Des Brisay’s= Block (next Apothecarie’s Hall,) QUEEN STREET, Resipence.— North American Hotel. Chariottetown, Aug 3, 1870- MR, A. SMYTHE, d | PROFESSOR OF MUSIC, | Has Removed his Academy to Water St,, | (Opposite the late Telegraph Olffice.} Pianoferte and Melodeosn Tuning punce! tually attended to. July 25, 1870. ly WILLIAM DODD, Commission Merchant and AUCTIOWEER, QUEEN SQUARE, CHARLOTTETOWN, P. E. ISLAND i Established 1833. Risks against less or of property. damage by Fire accepted on every description | . Apply to FENTON T. NEWBERY, General Agent for P, E. Island. Charlottetown, April 25, 1870. PRIZE MEDALS, 2802 AND £9461; P. 8. CLEAVER Begs respectfully to recommend the following articles of Tomer Soap ano lPcaruMery Manufactured and Imported by him. All of which may be relied on for their genuine quality, as many years’ increasing patrenage will testify rendering unnecessary any further comment; In non-angular tablets, White Glycerine Soap, lriehty perfamed Lettuce Milk Soup, Flural Soups, CARVELL BROTHERS, AUCTIONEERS, Commission Merchants, AND GENERAL AGENTS, BANK BUILDING, QUEEN STREET, onuarivowenown, PF. EB. rstand. ren - inc A. McNEILL, Reading Room Proprietor, COMMIS SLO MERE AME AUCTION EER, €harloticiownm, - - = May 31,1869. tf SETH D. SHAW, Attorney-at-Law, «ce. OF FICE-—Corner of Great George and Dorchester Streets. Opposite City Hotel. @ Law Office by Charlies Palmer, Esq., and recently by H, J. Cundall, Esq. CHARLUGT BTPOWN, P.E.I _ Maret 21, 1370. lyr H. HASZARD. Commission Merchant, GENERAL AGENT, , anD AUCTIONEER U ppe. Queen Street, Charettetown, - - - P.E.I. ee Pormerly occupied as N. 6.—Orders from abroad, and the country gril! -eceive prowptatiention. April 24, 1359 A. HERMANS, Bell-Hanyer, Guy and Tin-Snith Dorcheser Street, (Next to ** Examiner” Oilice.) EG3 to return bisthanks to the general pudlic for the liberal patronage extended him siace his commencement in business, and asks for « continuance of the same. keeps conste ity on hand A meat Assortment of He TINWAR(, KITCREN UTENSILS ni lin &e., &e., <&e. ALL ORDERS in the above BUSINESS will be punctually attended to. Havey ay latély made large parchases in the Cheapest Ma: kets, intended for House Builders, euch as Gas Fitting, Water Closets, Beli Fittings, &., éée., ; Es | Soup, &e., &e. od Sob SASK, Sha ati Sth ond will fit tiom up in a good workmanlike sty det fo Sa wk ia, tT ; will b» attended ‘ean Despatch hand, 3 SAYER’S CRYSTAL BLUE, Sold Cheaper than ever, = a ssaeong 29 would eay, that all OF MY. BUSI NES! A Lotof® rst Clase WATLR COOLERS on | | Spermaceti Soap, Otto of Rose Cold Cream Soup, | Centfleurs Toilet Soup, Prize Medal Houey Soup, | Almond, Palm, Glycerine, Suntlower, Mallow and | every description of Toilet Soaps, Mask and Treble ! j | Scented ditto. | THE LATEST NOVELITIES F. S. Cleaver’s Hyacinth Toilet Soap, F. 8. | Cleaver s Musk Rose Windsor Seap, Military and Naval Toilet Soap, Plate Rouge Seap. F. 5 @leaver’s Honey Pomade for the Hair, | Cleaver’s Floral : h aceous ‘Pooth Powder, Glyceriue Shaving Squares, Cosmetiqnes, &c, The Scent of the Period, also Jockey Club Boquet, Kiss Me Quick ,Frangipauni, Ess ees Milleflears, Manyolia RKondelitia, | Xian ilang. May Bloseom, New Mown Hay, As } Youl ike ity a &e. ur e, tHe TONOWINE Coaps tat tt. Fu | Bars '~Family Brown Windsur,Almoud Glycerine, | London Review, Dr.) Dublin do | Family Honey Soap, Rose, Elder Flower. | Chambers’ Castor Oil Pomatum, Marrow Oil Bears’ Grease, Bears’ Marrow. Crysta!lized Cream. Lavendar Water, Eau de Cologne, Viole Powder, | CaUTION,--Owing to the recent introductica of Soap made from Cocoa Nut Vil, F. S. Cleaver feelait incumbent on him to remark that he ene| tirely abstains from the use of that pernicious {article in any Soap bearing his name, the only advantage of which is to enable the maker to produce soap at jess cost, and with a smvoth and ivory-like appearance, which treacherous and superficial qualification is to be avoided; a8 a soap 80 uele possserses & much more powerful alkali than genuine Englisb-made soap; and like many other things, beautiful to behold, leaves ita sting bebind, by causing a severe irritation to the skin—particuiarly if. used for shaving. It likewise produces a faint, sickly, and - disagree- able stneli, ns the bands of any person who has used it can testify. Manufactory, 32 snd33. Red Lion Street, London; W..C, Depots 243, Rue St. Dennis, Paris. Seid by W. R. WATSON. City Drug Store, Victoria Building, Oct, 28, 1569 SALT. SALT: OR SALE, 600 Busbels LIVERPOOL SALT, in bulk, Also, 2000 SACKS, ex Bark CLIFTON, | JAMES C. POPE, Ch‘town, August 1, 1870. Wool. Weoel. Cas paid for WOOL, on delivery, at the Store of H, J. CALLBECK, Ch'town, May 30, 1870. CAUTION, ON’T waste your money in buying BOGUS Wool or Mowing Machine Oil, when you can get the pure Olive or Sweet Oil much cheaper at the (ITY HARDWARE STORE,’ BOUKKH, GILLAN & Co. Angnst 22, 1876. Per “Lelia Alice.” a iets . er & BLACKWELL’S Pickles, i Sauces, Currie panes frrenpa Roos ing Esse re ochine and Black Caen elly, Scotch Marmalade, Galatine V-rmacilli, Maccarcm, ‘Tapiaco, Citron, Lemon & Orange Peels, Mustard ia Kegs, Bottles & Pack » Split Peas, Sperm Candles, Mock Turtle, Ox-tal & Green 4 WM. R. WATSON. City Drug Store, Victoria Build- : . ing, Oct. 3t, 1870. Just Received 400 Yans WATR PROOF CLOTH, L. HEARTZ & SON. j Mov, 29, 1863. ee ae a; : + ; : iis + USEFUL Christmas Gifts | —_— Achme Skates, all sizes, Extra Wrenches Clamps, & Serews for do. Table Knives, Carvers and Steels, Fine Pocket Enives and Scissors. Plated Call Bells and Spoons. Kerosene Lamps, with the new Burner. Mechanie’s Tools, of all descriptions. Sleigh Bells and Whips. Fire Iron Stands, Blower Stands, Umbrella. Stands Apple Parers, Clothes Wringers. Shewe ra, Curling Tongs, Flating Scissors. Pinking lrons, Tin Can Ope vers, and SAPOLIO. To Clean and Polish all the old things. A.A. BALDWIN & Co, Scented Brown Windsor, Improved and Extra | most brilliantly. Dec 26, 1870. CLUBBING RATES! — Vy E will sénd the ‘+ Examiner’’ for 1871, and any one of the following period- Hy St icals at the annexed rates, payabie in ad- Pomades for the hair, Sapeon-| vance : | American Agricaltarist, £ | Atlantic Monthly, | Harper's Magazine, 0 0 0 — alaxy, Black wood's Magazine, Dublio Unrversity Magazine, 0 oO 0 0 0 Edinourgh do, | Westminster do, | North Britiah do, | North American do, | Every Saturday, Illustrated, | Appleton’s Journal, do, Harper's Weekly, Harper's Bazzar, Frank Leslie’s {liustrated Newspapers Beston Pilet, New York Ledger, du Weekly, do Herald, do Tribune, do World, We can supply any of the English, American, or Colonial Publications, at the lowest cash rates, P. R. BOWERS, Notice. Gexera Post Orrice came _ ee ee WesWwewowmBDeEOanscwww oO COhMWWWD December 10, 1870. N future, Money Orders will not be issued on Great Britain on the days on which Supplementary Knglish. Maile are closed. JOHN A. McDONALD, P.M.G, BUFFALO ROBES. NO. |. WHOLE SKINS, For Sale Cheap at LONDON HOUSB! G: &S: DAVIES, Dee. 5, 1870. aoe: Do Not Ruin Your EYE-SIGHT By Wearing Common Spectacles; Nine-tenths of all Eye Disease Ii CAUSED BY Woaring Improper Ghiasses. Lazarus & Mor ris’ PERFECTED » SPEGYAGBLES AND EYE-GLASSES. For which I am the SoLe AGENT, are the most Perfect and Beautiful) Ever Offered. They will cause a continuous and abiding im provement in the Eyes, and assist your sight W. B. WATSON, Sole Agent for Charlottetown Ch’town, November 7, 1870. Laths! WLaths! FOR SALE 300,000 Laths (4 feet), Best Quality. Apply to A, MeNELLL, Auctioneer. Exchange§Bailding, Jung 6, 1870, ccoocoocecceso oc OA ESNIPS ‘A FOOL'S STORY. BY GeORGE HALSE, ‘ama fool, Despi.e the certainty that, in, laying claim to this or any other distinction, I shell provoke the vehement hostility of every one who has achieved pre-eminence, | my pretensions boldly; because | feel sure that, by the time the most prejudiced reader | bas closed the pages alloted to me, be will frankly and generously exclaim, ‘Well | yes, I grant it: you are a fool indeét!” | And I may go so far as to aver that I | was born a fool, Nature endowed me with ‘all the necessary qualifications, and the | fondest of parents developed those powers to [the u’most, by idolizing aud—as the phrase |is—‘ spoiling’ me The first act of folly { was thiee weeksold, Inarash, unguard- ed moment, [ annihilated a bright future of assured fortune. which my parents had con- jirived fir me, They had secured the good | offices of a gentleman as go¢papa, who was | known to have boundless possessions some- | where ‘in the Kast.’ I employed inverted jcommas here, because that hypothetical | phrase embodies all Lknow, It may have referred to the Kast Indies, the fabulons land uf fortuse; or the East-end of London, the real jend of wretchedness. I will, how- ever, assume it was the former, as the latter would look out of place in these |‘ Leaves * _ My sponsor, then a—bachelor }of advanced life, and with gout sll over | him—had, to the certain knowledge of my foud parents, conceived the laudibie idea of making we his heir; when one day, as my | mother held me proudly under bis wose, with a View to rivet his affections, and he, as ia courtesy bound, leancd over me for a mic- ment, 1 seized his whiskers with the unre- |fleciing energy and enthusiasm of infancy, {and tore out a band‘ul by the roots, That | fatal indiscretion alienated from me his love )aud—whut was of far more importance— | his boundless possessions. On the day “vo! \my baptism, he sent mea Britannia metal | spoon, aud never cailed again. I had ceached my fif:eenth ycar, when a cond vista of fortuse opened before me, A learned maa in b'uo spectac'es, mating me in the sircet, was so struok with my |had that be eceompanied me home, ‘and |introduced himself to my parenta. Tle was |Dr Mawle, Professor of Phrenology; and }my bumps threw bim into tragsports [I | May mention parenthetically,that two-' birds | heele.] |ject tor iilu tration, aud proposed to take |meé as @ pupil. | Here was a glorious career for my parents’ idarling! But again were their hopes in | itbeic Uriah scattered to the winds, Oa the ' professor calling upon us a second time, | |gave his ha d—-which wae rheumatic, and jevery joint in it decorated with chalk stones | —so vehement a grip, that be roared io |agony, and at once conceived such a horror | for me that he refused to have any further dealing with one whose bumps of com bative- ,ness and destructivences were deve oped to 80 appall.ng a degree. | Ove day 1 chanced to overhear a con- | versation between my fond paren's, ia which }my name was mentioned; and I learned | something greatly to my advantage. | ‘I very much fear,’ said my father to /my mcther, *taat all oue bopes in our dar- Q| ling Uriah are doomed to disappointment. , He will s.on be a man; and, you see, he has mad@ uo stir in ‘the world ye: !” | ‘Have patience with the lad,’ responded \my dear mother; ‘{f am sure there is a | good deal in that heed of his,’ ‘Undouxediy, there is a good deal,’ replied my father with a sigh; ‘but, if Squilis the apotheea~y, is to be believed, it isu’t brains, but—-’ ‘Bat what?’ anxiously demanded my mother. ‘Water! And so, after all, our darling Uriah is a— a—half a fool!’ ibe sobs of both my parents alone’ broke the silence which followed this short “dia- logue. I staggered to my room, overwhelmed — it may have been with water ou the brain— aud totaliy unable to keep an appointment _| L had made, with a view to intreduce’a new varity ia my bumps, by an encounter with a coa)heaver. I pondered for many days and” nights upon’ the comforting news that had reached me; and the ultimate result of my cogita- tions was, that it was uoeless for. me to eQ- deavor to develop good bumps—in defiance of parents, phr ists, and apothecaries; 9 I had better yield“to “nature and be—a tool, I possessed extraordinary bodily activity and strength, and at once gave such mind. as I possesséd to the study of the drol! athletics of the pantomim:sts, I delighted in the -physieal contortions and socia’ vagaries of the Obristmas clowa. It was c'ear that my-forte lay in this direetion; that I had at last discovered the right field, In the privacy of my chamber I studied the arts of Grimaldi. By dint of gicat physi- eal suffering, I succeeded in stretching my mouth from ear to ear... 1 learnt to squiat borcibly.. I seemed to have joinis ali over canes. I leapteand tumbled likc a monkey, L could rise fromthe ground without bend- ing ty back, and do hundred other ex- traordinary things. I had serious thoughts of sawing @ policeman io two, jumping through the window, and stirring my honor- ed father witha red bot poker; but felt unwilling to divulge to my parents those new-born powers—which even the learned phrenologist had failed to discover—and wnake known to them that, by dint of their! excellent ‘tra‘ning and my own private’ studies, [ had indecd becowe a consummate me—I could twist my limbs together like | I felt a glow of pride in finding that I. who. My disgrace was crushing. I was at had hitherto been nobody,, was all at once once banished from the stage; somebody ; and, in my enthusiasm, [ made my popularity, should have been bavished and, but for my favorite grimace, turned a somersaalt from the circus too. plied— ‘ Vm a born fool, sir!’ That little eccentricity of mine was a veritable inepiration, presided, My debut was the eventof the evening or cro up io the wron —-I might also say of the season, | ee iuan : 1 hope the reader will acquit me of ex-| over an applestall, posed myself alla Grim- cessive egotism, if 1 begin by stating that } | a!di, and, with unblushing effrontery, re- my fall, » Dhe waters never 2H immortal nesa, They elicited no repty, | and eujoy an indisputable title to the par-| Widd comb caw at a glance what a treasure fell lower and lower. th ticular dignity which I affect, still I state | he had picked up and engaged me, then and there, to figure tu the arena over which he From that untoward catastrophe dated : ~iocbid eating in fact, my head seemed to swell with the mental suffering I endured, I wrote pas- sionate letters to Araminta, asking forgive- My spirits b@ waters. rose higher, In vain 1 rehearsed vn mots with the immortal Widdicombe in the mor- At night the jokes were forgotten, place.” ‘The i I rolled | Ineffable flageliated me as of old; but T into the middle ofthe circus ‘like a ball,| cut fio capers, If T turbed somersaults, it with a label pasted on to my back bearing | was in the wrong direction, and threw the the word *S:uitus,’ Acut ofthe maestro’s| whole gear into confusion, If I picked whip brought me to my feet, when I played! Widdicombe’s pockets of bis curling-irons such mad and original pranks, and did! and false.calves, I forgot to exhibit them te such ‘excellent fooling,’ that the house; the audience; so the joke of the thing was was in a soar; and, when the enthusiasm) lost, 4 Was at its highest, | abruptly stopped, and again displaying my label, as a satirical commentary upon the applause of the public made the audience a grave bow; and, turn- ing to the ineffable Widdicomb, I said with great solemnity— ‘ You see, sir,-how the world greets me. Who would be. wise in this generation # Yah!? Which last ejaculation was accompanied | with a grin and a comersau’t that fairly brought Cown the gallery. The loudest plaudets came from a corver and | naturally glanced in that My drollery deserted me in an instant ; for 1 recognized my parents there Holding their sides, they were laughing uncontrollably, jitile imagining that they were indebted to their Uriah for the improvised merriment: when the steeds were careering and their riders pirouetting, my by-play was neces- sarily suspeuded; and I carelessly wander- ed towards the vorner stall, ‘ Clown,” said my father, beckoning me to him—-* clowa, you have afforded me and my missus the greatest treat we have had Why, what a wlever droll Here’s a ezown for ye! dove, if ye were my own flesh and biood i couldn’t be more pleased with ye! Ha! Ha!’ I drew near and took the eoip, making a grimace that threw my honored parents in- ln the next mo- meat, however, I relaxed my distorted fea- tures, and, brushing the chalk and. ver- million from my face, L whisperved— * Father! you were right, quite right—I stall; direction. seated, for manya day! thou art! to renowed couvulsions, am a fool! The loud laughter io that corner stall in- of my bumps had been abnormally developed, stantly. gave place to passions.re gobs; and, by coming into couract with boy’s fists and| through my own tears, [ saw my dear He saw in me an invaluable sut-! mother fall into my father’s arms, ing again iuto the arena, more deliriously than ever, | made cart-wheels all round the circus, side by s.de with a golloping horse ; and then, recovering myself, 1 sprang op to bis buck, and was carried iike lightening from the scene. Next day my honored father turned me out of the house for disgracing my family. Thus [ made my deduct. ‘Ihe manager doubled my stipend at once ; for he not only found me a capital fool, but a very handy fellow altogether. made a goed ghost; and, at pinch, L.ewen condescended to personate aking. I woe everybody’s admiration as a cut-throat; and [ was once a gentleman, but the character | wasn’t to my taste: I cwo, I did it badly It was 1 who taught Wieland bow to play and Cooper’s Banquo was I cou'd even turn my band to carpeater’s -work; and in this capacity, ow ng to-my great strength I bad plenty to do behind the scene. At this period of my career, a momentous event ,oceured, I had the presumption The symputhetio reader will, L dare say, neither start with wonder nor ‘frown’ with dieapprotation at this avowal} but he will assuredly laugh me to scorn, ‘whea I tell him that [ fell in love A goddess! alas! and the devil; studied from me. i to fall in» love, with a goddess, alas! Owing to my physical streagth, 1 was selected for the deheate and enviable duty (of supporting im my arms the graceful aod airy form of Astraa, as she sat, poised on a cloud, in a transformation scene, piece was so eminently successful that is ran through three mognths;-~and,. though the beauteous Araminta Spinks only re- clined in my arms for a minute and a hall each night, the ioteryal was quite long enough for my ‘usceiNble heart. to be im- pressed with the transcendent virtues of the lovely nympb. Will my most austere read- er condewn me for my human weakness, whea he remembers that | am a mere foo! ? " to combine private with public interest: _ . id ended by propo- sing to make her Mrs, Urish F.oots, Ah, me! she received my proposals with By degrees, I man disdaiv. Still, the popular piece running on, might, have overcome her scruples, bad 1 not, with fatuous stupidity, brought my public and private interests to a elimax one evening, by sustaining my precious burden inthe air far beyond the allotted interval of the; transformation, and holding her in my entranced arms for five minutes after the cloud bad dissolved, aud everybody io the scene had been metamorphosed except the goddess, ‘Here was a coup de theatre not contemplated by the dramatist ! The actors were petrified; tho orchestra paralyzed; the audience scandalized. heeded them pot, ‘Araminta!’ Leried. ‘Oh, my belov Say you'll be ed, be not inexorable! mine! Spurn me not thus, bewitching Ara- { know 1 am unworthy; but J will try and deserve you, if you will but I.earo bat a guinea a week, and extras, We might double that sun between us!—nay, struggle not ; strike me not, adored one! Speak but the minta! give me. hope! aud—’ Having acquired the ne-dful proficiency, ‘me, by bringing me in contact with the tutelar genius of As ley’s famous Am bi-| theatre—-the ywmmortal Widdicowbe, . He, like Professor Maw.e, was attracted by the extraordinary seiz: of my head; and, ace costing me ia the street, he enquired what My eye fell on the mauager at the wings, | scarlet with rage; and on the prompter, 80, to encourage livid with terrer; while, at the same mb [ only waited for av oppo: tunity to turn it ment,.a’ yell of delight rom the * ? te to accouct,; whea foriune for opce favored called the to my senses, and proved that this uoreheatsed episode wae @ by the gallery, at all events. balistic Jine—: + saW at | The inevitable consequences ensued, *Floots!’ said the effulgent Widdicombe, after the house had elosed, ‘ what on earth is the matter? You’re not half the fool you were!’ I fairly buret into tears at the erue! speech * Sir,” T replied, *I own the trath of your allegation; but it is none the Jess un- feeling. I cannot dispute it. Alas! I am no fool sow. My oecupation’s gone, I wish to quit the arena of my triumphs be- fore 1 disgrace myself further.’ A spasm choked my utterance bere. The <indly gentleman took my hand— ‘Tell me, Fioots, the reason of this change,’ ‘Sir,’ I responded, ‘I can’t get over the —transformation.’ ‘Ab, yes; that was a very sorry busi- ‘ees, indeed. I fear you had been driuk- ing. ‘I had, sir, deep draughts!’ I would have added, ¢ at the fountain of first love ;” but the words stuck in my throat. ‘A thousand pities that you are going to leave off playing the fogl. Why, what are you going to do for a living?’ ‘Sir,’ L replied, ‘1 fear you will say I have fallen low indeed, when [ tell you that [ am going into philosophy.’ * Philosephy!’ echoed the Locomparable, starting, and gating upon me with compas- sion, * Philosophy?’ “*Yes, sir, to this complexion [ must come at last, Philosophy—science.’ ‘Is i: possible?’. And the. great man evidently reflected for some moments ae to the import of those two somewbat unfami- liar epithets; and J bave no doubt.he class- ed them with such doubt{ul terms as ‘cord- wainery,’ *drysaltivng” aod the hardware trade. ‘ Philosophy, science—ahem! Is that line a.good one, think you, Urish? Is thesea regular demand for the article?’ * Kor my branch of it—yes, sir.’ ‘Ahat And what is your branch ?” ‘Astrology, fortune-telling, sir, *I an- sweréd, proudly, ‘There is a vacancy at Vauxball Gardens, | The hermit there caught a cold last week, which killed him, He would go the entire, and eat night after bight in bis cell without shoes or stockings t have app'ied for the situation, and got it, sir, *Good? replied Mr. Widdicombe; ‘very good. But are you up to philosophy and science ?’ ‘I could learn that, or any other trade, in a week,’ [ answered + Besides, I’m going to ask the manager here to give me a few properties—a beard, a wand, a nec- romaticer’s robe. There isu’t much more required, you know beyond the effects; for the world, as I’m told Carlyle says con- sists “ mostly of fuols;” and from wy own f omaney IL kuow that two things move a 3 as @ philosopher, soothspyer, and astro!o- ger, at a shilling an hour, from six'to ten p.m, daily. My features, traced all over with the chareoal wrinkles of age, and my snow- { White beard—which had originally done daty for King Lear—made a huge impres- sion Upon the visitors to the Gardens; and soon scared for moe a numerous clientele, ‘most'y fools’ in their teens. By a judi- cious method of procedure, { contrived, in- stead of volunteering information, to elicit thcory upon what they divulged, and weav- cautious confessions, I found it the easiest thiog in the world to tell them what had | happened, was happening, and was about to happen: forecasting for éverybody precise- ly the very thing which he or she desired. This will account for my success in busi- ness. : ( The word DELPHI being arranged over the door, in a device of colored iampe, i covelnde my predecessor, for some reason beyoud my comprehension, thas styled bim- self; 80, to save the trouble and expense of altering it, I trad.d under the sathe name, instead of displaying. my patrouymic— Floots, : aim One showery night, when the Gardcos were deserted, and, in de-pair of patrons, | was upon the point of laying aside diviving- rod end lighting my pipe, Theard a atep upon the gravel-waik leading to my cell —some irrevereut wags called it ‘a sell’ —when, in an instant, | was deep!y absort- ed in the eolation of a profound theorem, watchiag the approazhing Visitor through the corner of my eye, It wes g woman, io sombre attire.. The nearer sbe drew, the more rapt [| was iw etudy; fir L aiways found it desirable to impress ead awe my clients, y the wenker se, who usu- ally like to feel a little frightened. She appeared loth +o break the gilence; her, [ articulated the ea in praseoti perfectum format in avi. These magical words had the desived ef- fect. She etopped at my door, once the whole dilemma; a vertigo came a-ked timidly, over- me—no doubt the. waters ‘had burst —i ‘released the indignant a'ways turoed slowly, for Astrma, gud threw myself dowp a trap, ‘beard might get shifed — : I followed. For the firet time in my life, | which was opep to receive. dragoo their bor - Riss . - 1 turned my head slowly towards her. 1. *# Why do you.ask, my child?’ — it from my patrons; and by constructing a | jard ing together the stray threads of their in-. onus, bona, bonum!’ WJ living to get. _*Are you disengaged, Mr, Delphi t? she and knowledge, My te: under fear that my" | When : “sib!y jufagte mag get to be orers i Qvurty, * Beonuse, if you were, 1 wished to speak with ae . wow % * Say rather, you wisk to with me.’ The damsel confessed cotaars She ome I had sively’ poset’ ker ts, . ; “ ae without fear, my daughter,’ I said, * the odor of sanctity pervades this re- cess- 78 * There were also, smells of a very differ- ent character. _ ‘Speak, daughter,” I sontidned, arrang. ing my robe, and posing myself like Jupi- ter Olympus in the extravagenga, . L Venerable, praghes began the lady, ivopressed with my digrity, ‘the fame of your wisdom and skill ommend we. £ 2m iD a griev'gus strait, and @ishéd : calighened there. pi ee ( was always my rele, whens new client addreseed me, to hegio by patiing 16.9. self this question, ‘ Passion or if? 4ad, satisfying myseif on this point J had mangas entirely if oo a, sent visitor was ir— a penetrated her taoe vel ated It was evidently not a q of pelf. A’ tremor in ber voice, and, as I ; blush over so much of ‘her face ag, ould see through the corner of my eye while 1 Was arranging my te tele- scope, by the way, was directed aoa brick wall——settied the point, It was pas siow. ' — “My daughter,’ I replied, with path ‘I already krow arte you er You have a griel.’ She started. ‘True? How .could you kaow that?’ to, ‘Boous, bona, tonum!” 1 muttered, turned over some leaves in a posderous volume before me. [N.B. This book had originally been a butterman’s ledger) *L have not studied this mystic tome in vain, my cbild,’ therefore, that the ‘And you know, nature of my grief is—#’ By way of answer ¥ drew forth, from un der the table, one of my properties~a car- toon of my heart. * Your grief lies there, my child! I se- plied with compassion. * Astonishing!” she ejaculated, * [tdoes, it does!’ . , My oil lamp, suspended over ‘head, cast a straight shadow like a bar, across the picture. It caught the lady’s eye in a. moment. i ag gi. ‘ Ab!’ she cried pointing to it, * shaft signify anything ? _* ss : I hadu’t noticed the phenomenon ; and; if I bad, [ shiuld a it po attention, ° knowing that.the rim of the lamp caused it, ‘Yes, my daughter,’ I answered, with. emotion; ‘we soothsayers often auswer da symbols, You shadow is fraught with sig- nificance!’ rs * How, Sir? obt how?’ ‘Interpreted rightly, it meane that @ barb pierces your heart!” “ia? * Amazing, appalling truth,” gasped the. maiden, clasping ayn ’ on. ss The lamp, performing a slight sevolution on its axis, threw two bars .oa the cartoon instead of one. She discernedit. © ; Two!’ sheaurmured, ~~ ; was a little oonplaseed, and closed my eyes (0 cogitate on the difficulty ; aul maintaining my composure. ¥ 60} . ‘Unless I greatly err,’ I said, without. looking at the picture, my eyes still closed, ‘there should be two bars acrossthe object.’ — aT Siok ae 0 ‘Tis true,’ ied, ‘my daughter ; two barbs rankle ia your guiless heart,’ = She could only sob... From that cireum- stance [ pergeived 1 had made whit. My lamp-seemed bent on creating perplexities for me, . Making another sligit turn, the salowa impinged upon the cartoon passed e @iebev ‘And those two things sre —.’ ‘Gone!’ exclaimed the dameel, ia grout: * Pasion and pif, sir; the first in early,! surgri ~ = Seen the latter ia later, life.’ i bit my fip, and tornod over a leaf’ or’ The reader perceives that I was already | two of the butterman’s led ger. oT DRyIEO, transformed froma fuol into a philosopher. + OF a truth it is even 80,” answered, In due time, I was installed ia the Grot-| with uoblushing effrontery. The ' to of Wisdom ; and entered upon my duties | po} ao existing aa one is « revelation of things to be? © > ++ I hado’t the remotest notion as to whither ‘leone : . or Can it bef oh, ean it be, that T aba ever be quit of these pangs? she asked ber-- self, in great agitatio neater ‘ Pangs!’ thought 1; ‘then it isn’s eo affair of the tender ion!’—I was eon- structing a theory of rival lovers—' dere’. a fiz for a soothsayer to be inf? * Daughter, * I gaid—after tua ' eye over an invoice of bacon, bat —'by my aid itis. ble shadow of—of——’—{* Pangs,. pange? obliterated your ‘ 3 vv 7186 The maides ed my hand. ver bette Ee le te hg eens’ , Pi Aube aneil.’ sbeunid,* Lfeaniaeeanes tax’. + Have faith, my childs’) «ort bio ‘1 brill exercised the privilege need ‘Ob, I will! Bat what of = shaft? It tepresented the paogs of=* “°° I glanced at 6 eee and the viands sugg«sted hunger. pang dida’t, however, sppear &n appr: one. ‘Tis true, ’tis tras’ m1 medi gen time—' Tis true ’sie pity; pity jus, tis true,, quoting Sha a +Pity! Qb, yes, wy futher; you “tieve divined it alt! ~My pity” for ‘iat over" powers éverythingt* "ee ‘The shafts i the ps is romestt Bat what must ay child?’ : Meu: > me O08 petunee Aod I continued to avail myset of the’ privileges of age. oe The waiden fairly Wept, = | ‘Tell mé more. wna oe w. ma0:* ‘ Past, present, or future?’ I inguized. { * Bach and all,’ a = gpids aS »-f ~ ‘Though J was fully sensible of a ey Serene ‘I was equally alive tomy business.” E bad - *~ * Daughter, ’ I answered, : J ‘ B | | tain tributes due to the sources of. ¥ 3 vw 8 as you indseate is one shilling.” 4 c-5~ os oie as TN FS women come to sit inthe juryabony pom oe i fn fi eas yo Wied « a3 ra@ tgo4¢§ leo