v-iitrw nnccMaen 19. 1931" Mrs. Battersby’s Christmas Dinner BY AIDE IIABGBAVB Mrs. Bettcrsby, momma. looked at the turkey m her oven with an experienced eye. A will bird. Wmlllred with those i’! 10mm‘ years, but likely u. m; 210118" than she and Mr. Battersby would altogether relish it. She peep ed at the pudding. On the dresser, a holly branch, nicely berried, for that nuddins; she had a drop of bffllldy saved for llghtinz it. In the _ next room the cloth was laid. Almonds and raisins and crystal. ized ‘fruits-these were for senti- ment, because neither she nor Mr. Batteffiby were much of a sweet - tooth. Grocer's port in a. Victorian decanter. A wedge of stiiton. Lucky _ _you coruld buy it in wedges now, . because nothing would have indue. ed Mrs. Battersby to deny Mr, Bet. tersby his stllton at Christmas, yet hi!" 00"“ they Set thmugh even half a one before thoughts of ex- travagance outweighed enjoyment? Evelytbins on the table shone and el/"ything was placed with me- ticulous precision, but to Mrs. Bat- tcrsby it wasthe most pathetic ta- ble imaginable. Laid for two- and that on Christmas Day. Such u. thing had never happened to he; before and she had never thought it could happen. ‘Pvro boys in New Zealand and a1- lo one on tilc sea. New Zealand and where they picnicked on Christmas Day. 115 likely as not, was a. topsy- turvy place in Mrs. Battersbyk vis- ion. . A meni in the open, so out of sea- son, couldn't be anything but a chil- ly affair, she felt, whatever the tem Peifltllfc- Tcd. who was third offi- cer in thc merchant service, would got something more recognizable as the annual festival; great time; they had aboard ship, so Ted con. soled ilcr. and she was thankful for. it; he um more her boy than the others. Janet, married and living in the North, soon expecting her third - in a. manner quite understandable by Mrs. Battcrsby, money for rail- way fares was eaten up by mater- nity with Janet. Fate had reconcil- ed her, more or less, to the absence of these. But Elia. her baby, sharing a po- ky flat ufith another secretarial friend. (Mrs. Battcrsby just called them "typists"), in a part of Lon- don considered "a better address." than the Lillie Road, though with only a three penny tube fare be. tween them-it simply hadn't 0c- curred to Mrs. Battershy that Ella. wouldn't be home for Christmas Day. The lcttcr tardily announcing Ellals decision to stick by her chum because her chum had no people tn go to, had been a blow. Even Mrs. Battcrsby, who had stoutly delrcd a succession of life's blows, because somehow they seemed more bear- able if you didn't acknowledge them, was unprepared to deny this one. ‘ In the evening Ella and her own chum were 80in: to what Ella wrote of as a hectic studio party given by an artist friend. She would have asked leave to bring her chum. Marigold, to the dear old mid-day spread, naturally, but Mum knew how delicate darling Marigold was. She couldn't face two spreads ' or two outings, in one twenty-four hours. With love and with kisses and a hastily chosen present for each, lillla had been SURE that Mum would understand. But was she sure? If she was, then the last silent battle between Christmas Wroppings ‘Uniformity 1n Christmas wralii" ping, l; no longer smart. Each 8i" should be cloaked in W‘ "ml! suited to its recipient. wwrifln! W The American Home. Papers, flbbofll. ma. tan ""1 trimmings of all sorts IN H0 d9‘ lilhtfully varied that by thwlht‘ m] shopping you can individusliso the dressing of every crew"- '11" appreciation sure to follow such evidence of personal attention will man than justify the e118!“ "t" on Christmas _ mm. on the one side, and Mari- gold on tho other, had been won- by Marigold. That affected, over- scented Miss! Mrs. Battersby had definitely lost her figure. Her shoulders had gone up, her neck had shortened; accord .i.ng to obeeleia photographs she had been slim of waist once-she wasn't now. She had plentiful iron grey hair that curled and wouldn't keep t!dy;,she had eyes that were dark lashed. Btill bright and smil- ing easily. She had been pretty and with a llfetlmepf taking care of herself, she would have DCOIl pret- ty now, for though even iilc friends who liked her most called her “dear old Mrs. Eattersby," she was only in her fifties—-by no means old as things go. But she had tvorkecl hard all her life at the sort of task which seems to have the most disastrous effect on a woman's appearance -- if you let it. According to all the modern ma- gazine teaching you CAN do home . work and keep dainty, but Mrs. Bat tersby had predated that teaching while giving her youth to her own young family and recklessly letting herself go. Vifilen she began to read about the importance of not looking your age it was too iatc. in her poor opinion of her own looks, to recover them. But though, to quote Marigold, Mrs. Battcrsby had “gone rubbish" in appearance, in taste, and at heart, she was as young as she had ever been. She had never mentally surmounted the ten years brtwcen them which would have made her feel the equal of Mr. Battersby. She was proud of his apparent super- lor knowledge, but silc didift want to share it; shc likcti making him comfortable, but botll his silences, and his occasional outpourings s of newspaper-patties, bored hcr con- siderably. A good gossip with Ella "was something quite diifcrcnt. . The doings of young people, their jokes and their laughter were tile things she enjoyed. She didn't want to join in their doings-not at the time, or not often. A bit 6f shop- gazing with Elia, a. bus rde or a ci- nema-they formed a change that lasted her for days since shc wasn't "silly". Young people must go their own way; she only liked hearing about it all afterwards and sharing the fun in retrospect. And lately, because of that Marigold and her mean. secret ways, rhc knew more about the doings of Ted, on the high seas-bless the dcar!- than about Pita at the cud of a three penny tube fare. That really hurt her. She turllcci was hcr way. There was the boy tn \\".l'.lill tilPy had lately lct the top floor as nn from hcr iliil‘i.~—- as unfurnished flat, because the house was now so drearlly large for them and Mr. Battersby would not hear of moving. The last people had been t.oo noisy, but this tall, nice looklnfl boy was too quiet to be natural. She had made sure he would be go- ing out for Christmas Day, but he hadn't gone yet, because she had heard him speeding up stairs two at a time, (just like 'I‘edi, not half an hour ago. She wasn't for pry- ing and yet she could have declar- ed he had made no preparation for a. proper Christmas as she interpret 0d the word "proper". She didn't hold with men "doing for themsel- ves," though she knew that for pe- cuniary reasons they sometmc; had to. He had told her, with his pleas- ant, non-committal smile that he could cook all he'd want. But she had what she called a. "shocking :~.ose;" silo knew just about Lac: much cooking went on in that top storey. She peepcd at the turkey-- gave it a baste. She poured boiling water round the pudding. In twenty min- utcs, or so, Mr. Battersby would be in from church and a turn round Kcnsington Gardens, a. pilgrimage which every year he said she ought to share. but which she had always (thanks to the turkey) managed to evade. She wasn't irrcligious, but morning church had been impossi- ble for her so long that now it made her feel “funny? The bread sauce was ready, and there only remained the dishing up. So she'd twenty nlinutes to make n. dash (metaphorically), up the many stairs, knock at her lodgers door, and invite him to eat Eliza's (iinncr. She mustn't word it quite lke Amt, hilt that is how she only thought of it. Should she? booking in again at the table for two-she thought she dare. Tile young man was one of the plcasantest she had ever met and yet not at all the kind with whom you could take a. liberty. Mr. Batters-by would sny it was quite out of the question; he might even say “an unwerrantable liberty" and tilat being rather a pct phrase of his. But then Mr. Battersby had a. liking for what he callcd “peace and quiet" which "ivas certain to be his opinion. There were plenty of times wilcn she pilt Mr. Batters- by's old peace and quiet before eve- rything, but Christmas didn't hap- pen to be one of them. Except for the grocers port and the stilton, Christmas. out of all the year, she claimed for herself and the chil- drcn. Nothing she knew, could make him enjoy it n5 they did. As THEY USFD TO—i It was probably the word's “used to" that sent her breathing a little a t t it t W t Christmas, and every Good Wish for the Coming Year. t . 'MRS. JOHN WILLIAMS ‘l ‘ Phone 429 Up. Prince st. heavily, upstairs. Anyhow, ilaving reached them in her thoughts, she only waited to untie her big apron. As she had known tlierc was no Christmas dinner preparing 1n her lodgers sitting room. He seemed to be laying a meal, on half a table. Mrs. Battersby turned resolutely from the sight of those very un- Christmas-like viands on that half table. As resolutely she kept any hint of what her quick eyes had seen out of the wording. of her in- vitatiou. ‘ The last thing sllc wanted, she said, was to intrude, but she had come to ask a very great favor. She had been expecting a daughter, un- avoidably detained, (God forgive me she thought. for that ‘unavoid- ablo'.') And having been one of a. big family, even before marriage, she had never yet sat down two, never lacked young people about her, on Christmas Day, of all days! So if he could-i’ If he would honor them. Just herself and Mr. Battersby, and Mr. Battersby, she might just as well admit first as last, wasn't much of a one for keeping Christ- mas except that he liked his din- ner. But with her it was the sort of people who shared the dinner that counted-young people. She'd miss that terribly. She didn't see how she was going to keep up even to Mr. Battersbyis low standard of fes- tivity without one young face sup- porting her-she really didn't. So if he'd take-it as it was meant if he'd do his good deed for the day by coming down in half an hour, and excuse everything being very homely. she'd promise, for her part, not to keep him afterwards. He was such a "superior" young man with his fair face, his rough- cncd hair. his good but rather care- less clothes. He was so polite and so attentivc_. while remaining ever so slightly unbending-and this was by far the longest speech she had Continued on Page ll I HEARING IS BELIEVINC A CHRISTMAS SHORT STORY by Rcglnzld Rmple (Author of "Hers to Command") If Mr. Parkinson Float had been asked to describe himself he would probably have done so with more pleas e than accuracy. l-le would have said, or at least mferred, that there was sufficient rectitude in his bosom to guarantee a. favoured place in the next world to all of the Float family. He would also have said that this was a very good thing, for, otherwise, how could the remaining Floats have any hope, beins- 85 they were. either lazy, ungodly, cheerful or some other things in opposition to the principles of l-‘tlrkinson float- He would also have said that he went through the world doing good especially by showing people the errors of their ways from the smoking of cigarettes to the read- ing of Sunday newspapers. If, on the other hand, you had asked the opinion of some of the other Floats. particularly that of his young cousin Jack, you might have heard a different story- You might then have learnt that cousin Parkinson was a sancti- monious hypocrite, despite the fact that he hid, for a Float, got on well and had become managing clerk to a solicitor. It was, perhaps, this fact of having got on well which gave Parkinson his feeling of superior- ity. lt has been known before- that n. member of a family has used his comparitive affluence as a right to crltcize and castigate his less fortunate relations. It will be known again. The Float family consisted, roughly, of four sets of cousins in- cluding Parkinson himself. ‘There were probably others, but they had become lost through advancing years. Some had gone abroad, some had married obscure~ girls and gone to live in obscure places. Not so Mr. Parkinson Float, who had married the thin-lipped daughter of is, thick-skinned but well-to-do grocer. According to young Jack, Cousin Parkinson thorouzhiy deserved Harriet. It showed that Providence was not entirely out to bless him. It; also showed that Parkinson was not quite so clever as he thought he was, for just as Hamlet's father deceived hisi customers by the addition of a sand to his sugar, so had Harriet, by her pre-marita-l sweetness. deceived Parkinson Float, leaving him later to find out about the sand in her character. The other cousins also lived in London, though not in Suburbs so select as that which harboured P. Float. There were, in addition t0 Jack. cousins George and Arthur, v the first a draper's assistant, the Four Pictures WHAT IS HER NAME? 3. Royal Navy (just initials) 4 You. Continued on Pale l0 Suitable THERE WAS A WEE There was a wee leddied, named Ray Who went to do shopping one day; He took out no money, And thought it quite funny When he was requested to pay. v Mrs. Kat has been to town. And all her shoppings cone, She's bought a lovely fish 9,9 my, For dinner-time's at mo. CHRISTMAS SHOPPING second s. foreman in something or other. In fairness to Parkinson it must be said that this pair had nothing to recommend them. George was given to systematic gamblinfl. with a. tendency to blame his wife and children when his horses lost. whilst Arthur was a. meek in- dividual who never seemed to say anything to anybody, and misht a8 well never have been born. In- deed, even his family did "(it kn" how he had become a foreman- and certainly did not understand what he was foreman in. Young Jack was a motor me- ehanic and lived at Balhnm with his wife, a good-natured girl with no pretence to good looks. Such then, were the Floats. about whom this narrative turns. But there was another, whv. though not actually a Float. con- cerns the narrative far more. And this was Uncle Joe, who arrived from Australia one Christ!!!“ time and cast himself, being fl lonely man, upon the hospitality 0f Parkinson Float. All the Floats knew about Uncle Joe who had been in Austmlla for a. great many years, and they knew that he was supposed to be a man of considerable wealth. It there- fore created much excitement, to say nothing of Jealousy, in Float circles it became known that Uncle Joe had chosen Parkinson's home as his erstwhile refuge. George, whose racing paper, the “Starting Post," had just let him down again, was seriously annoyed and said that it was beoluse that they had three children that Uncle Joe had not come to them. _ that the old man had preferred the peace and quite of the Parkin- son household. whereupon Mrs. George Float broke into tears end said they were as much his children as hers. As for Arthur, he was too en- gromed in being a. foreman to say much more than that he supposed it was all for the best. Uncle Joe was a very old man, so old that he could, and did, talk about Gladstone at much length, whilst the Great Exhibition of 1851 was to him but a yesterday. _1"rom which it may be gathered that the time could not be far ahead when Uncle Joe would be called t0 8 better 18nd, and, since he could not take his money with him there was a chnce that it would fail into the hands of one or other of the Flats. Of this both‘ Uncle Joe (1nd the Floats were fully aware. Espeq. filly so was Uncle Joe, who skii- fully let it be known that he would leave his money to the molt who treated him best. I-Ie also announced that, after spend- ing a little time with Parkinson, he would visit all the others in tum. In this way, said Uncle Joe, who. for Colouring FIND THE LOST CAT! _ 17.7; Q ~.'-‘._'_‘!'|" If-"Z, f Oh, what a bad dog Fido ill He's chased my Tibby now, And when I ask him where she is, . Io-llmply styl. "Bow-wow." by the way, was very, very deaf he would lea-m. by the measure of their loving kindness, which of them liked him best. “It isn't a. bit of good looking angry," he said to Parkinson when he expounded his plan, whereupon Parkinson muttered in his wife that such a wicked thing was enough to make even the most re- liglious man angry. Uncle Joe, of course, did not hear that. Indeed. it became a habit of Parkinson's to speak his mind to his wife in the very pres- ence of his uncle. "rm not at all angry,” he shouted on this occasion into the ear triumpet which just managed to keep the oldman in touch with the outside world. "Not a. bit angry. Splendid thing to stay with George for a. while. Good fellow, George- Hope you'll enjoy it, Uncle." Then, for his wife's hearing, he added quietly, "And I hope you'll find out about his gilllbllllg>hflbti5. the low dog." . Christmas was spent quietly in the Parkinson household, though it was slightly marred by Uncle Joe bringing in a bottle of port, the very sight of which made a shudder run through Parkinson's spine. "I never take it myself." he shouted when Uncle Joe offered him a glass after the Christmas dinner. “You'd be a better man if you did," wheezed the old man through his whiskers. “You're a bit too serious, Parkinson. Ought to laugh more." Parkinson forced a smile to his dour features, muttering us he did so: "You wicked old beast" Uncle Joe then poured out a glass for Parkinson's wife, Harriet. who. at a sign from her husband, sipped the wine with her thin lips. and pretended to like it. A little later she managed to pour it into the sspidistra, which plant seemed to flourish ever lafterwards, causing Parkinson to linken it to the green bay tree of the Scriptures, to which the wicked were compared- Apart from this little incident Christmas passed peacefully though Parkinson thought Uncle Joe talked too much about Glad- stone. But that, of course, might have been ciuc to the wine. In due time the old man set out to stay with George. Parkinson acted as his pilot whilst crossing London by taxi to George's less distinguished suburb and was at great pains to make his affection known- "The house will seem empty without you," he shouted. "The wife and I don't know whnt to do to cheer ourselves up." "Try some port," said Uncle Joe. Then added. "And by the way. I want to speak, to you about that aspldistra of yours. It's going the wrong way." A puzzled look crossed Perkin- son's face. He was never quite sure about Uncle Joe. Presently the old man spoke of his plans. Her had decided to spend short alternative visits with George" Arthur and young Jack and then to return to Parkinson for the remainder of the year. By that time, he said. he would have formed a good idea as to whom he should leave his money. “And I'll spend the last month with you, thinking it all over quietly, and deciding where and how I'm going to live for the rest of my life. It won't. be long." Again Parkinson wished for Harriet so that he could eudibiy express the hope that his uncle's words were true. Instead he loznt over the ear-trumpet"- and shouted: "That means you'll be with us again for Christmas! Can't tell yflil how pleesd I am. It'll be something to tell Harriet when 1 get hack. And I hope you'll have a 800d time with the others." A sly smile from his uncle "us"! 111m temporary alarm. "Ya, I hope you'll have a very good time," he said again, "though I don't think you'll enjoy being Continued on Page ll "Uncle: "Did you like the book I sent you for a Christmas present?" Bobby: "I haven't looked at it yet." Uncle: "Why, how is that?" Bobby: "Because mother said I have to wash my hands before I touched it." ..-fi!_le an. _-_-~ Fun-a- h d z-ub“