Underwater, no-one can hear you scream 
     
    
   
   
    
     by Gilles Castonguay 
     
     Charlatan Staff 
     
    
   
   
    
     o you thought Alien was pretty 
     
     S cool and E.T. was pretty cute? 
     
    

    
     Then you'll love this year’s 
     
     multi-million dollar hit The Abyss, 
     
     right? Wrong--unless your into total 
     
     rip-offs. 
     
    
   
   
    
     Hyped as the epic adventure of the 
     
     summer, The Abyss is the story of a rag- 
     
    
   
   
    
     The Abyss 
     
     Directed by 
     
    
   
   
    
     James Cameron 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     tag crew isolated from the rest of the 
     
     world who are being held captive by a 
     
     crazy army officer with a nuclear de- 
     
     vice threatening to blow up everyone-- 
     
     including himself. 
     
    

    
     It has it all--a dark and lonely 
     
     place, ugly hardware, sophisticated 
     
     machinery, a good guy, a bad guy, 
     
     rekindled love, a mysterious lifeform 
     
     combined with stupid dialogue, a bor- 
     
     ing climax and a predictable ending. 
     
    

    
     One expects more from James 
     
     Cameron who brought us The “‘fuck 
     
     off, asshole” Terminator and that rol- 
     
     lercoaster-ride of a movie, Aliens. 
     
    

    
     But as it turns out, The Abyss shows 
     
     litte promise. 
     
    

    
     Ed Harris and Mary Elizabeth Mas- 
     
     trantonio got themselves involved in 
     
     this fiasco as crew members of 
     
     Deepcore, an underwater oil-rig work- 
     
    
   
   
    
     They're heeere. 
     
    
   
   
    
     ing at the bottom of the Atlantic 
     
     Ocean near the Caribbean. 
     
    

    
     Their colleagues are the usual des- 
     
     picable lot of hard-nosed employees of 
     
     Benthic Petroleum, your basic anony- 
     
     mous corporation which owns the rig. 
     
    

    
     With the mysterious disappearance 
     
     of the USS Montana, the U.S. Navy 
     
    
   
   
    
     yf Za 
     
    
   
   
    
     Tae 
     
     ~ 
     
    
   
   
    
     persuades the crew-to search for the 
     
     nuclear submarine with the help of 
     
     four specially-trained Marines, one of 
     
     them being Michael Biehn, who 
     
     starred in Cameron’s two earlier films, 
     
     as Lt. Coffey. 
     
    

    
     Stubborn military officials and over- 
     
     zealous commandos inevitably bring 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     Consider what's involved 
     
    
   
   
    
     _ the operation near the brink of disaster 
     
    
   
   
    
     with Deepcore hanging perilously at 
     
     the edge of the Cayman Trough, or, 
     
     more notably, the abyss. 
     
    

    
     What's more, pink-glowing gumby 
     
     butterflies whizz around occasionally 
     
     to captivate the divers and annoy the 
     
     audience. Are they an intelligent life 
     
     form? Are they friendly? Can they save 
     
     these mortal humans from them- 
     
     selves? Does anybody care? 
     
    

    
     At this point in the movie, one can- 
     
     not help but be reminded of Steven 
     
     Spielberg’s Close Encounters of the Third 
     
     Kind and Ridley Scott’s Alien--but don’t 
     
    
   
   
    
     - make the mistake of comparing The 
     
    
   
   
    
     Abyss with either of them. # 
     
    

    
     Cameron fails to evoke the same 
     
     warm fuzzies with Manstrantonio’s 
     
     alien encounters as did Spielberg in 
     
     E.T. and Close Encounters. The scenes of 
     
     the terrified crew running around in 
     
     the dripping bowels of the Deepcore 
     
     oil-rig, encountering relentless con- 
     
     frontations with a psychopathic being 
     
     have already been done with the 
     
     spaceship Nostromo in Alien. 
     
    

    
     _ Sure, The Abyss has some neat spe- 
     
     cial effects, great underwater stunts 
     
     and breathtaking cinematography, ~ 
     
     but that alone does not constitute a 
     
     movie. 
     
    

    
     Save your $7.00. Buy a container of 
     
     Jiffy-Pop, rent Alien and E.T. and enjoy 
     
     some original sci-fi suspense and ac- 
     
     tion. 
     
    
   
   
    
     in writing a textbook. s 
     
    
   
   
    
     A textbook is like a long essay that would 
     
    

    
     take you at least 1,500 hours to write. 
     
    

    
     That's the equivalent of researching and 
     
    

    
     writing eight hours a day, five days a 
     
    

    
     week, starting in September and 
     
    

    
     continuing, without a holiday, until the 
     
     end of the school year. 
     
    
   
   
    
     ILINTE"OGIEsIN IDIPSLEAs 
     
     SIiBIRWICGiasS 
     
    
   
   
    
     And then consider 
     
     not getting paid for it. 
     
    
   
   
    
     While your book makes a contribution to 
     
    

    
     education, as an author, your reward also 
     
    

    
     ‘depends on your book being bought. 
     
    

    
     Instead, a lot of people take advantage of 
     
    

    
     your work by photocopying it - illegally. It 
     
    

    
     makes you feel like you've been ripped off. 
     
     Well, you have peen. 
     
    
   
   
    
     Pub ne 
     
     Advanced Ticket Saies a 
     
     Suggestion Box 
     
    

    
     Drop Off Slot 
     
    

    
     Prizes 
     
    

    
     Give Aways 
     
    

    
     Contests 
     
    

    
     Yearbook Pick Up 
     
    

    
     Cimn Hotline 
     
    

    
     Information 
     
    

    
     Place To Chit Chat 
     
     Council Minutes 
     
    

    
     A Friendly Place 
     
    

    
     Handbook Distribution 
     
    
   
   
    
     - Photocopying textbooks 
     
     is intellectual exploitation. 
     
    
   
   
    
     A message from the College Group of the Canadian Book Publishers’ Council 
     
     and the Canadian Reprography Collective. 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     y, September 14, 1989 === 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     = Page 12 i Thursda