Gotta Problem? 
     
    

    
     - s ainst You 
     
     PREDICTIONS FOR UPEI 1988-89“ Neesticiv2 
     
    

    
     ree, the battled? 
     
     £ 555-7111 
     
    
   
   
    
     (We fix student elections) 
     
    
   
   
    
     Cold as Hell 
     
    
   
   
    
     Weather details on page 43 ; 
     
    
   
   
    
     The Getta Life Assurance Company : 
     
     Thursday April 14 1988 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     NEW METAL 
     
    

    
     BAND LEAD 
     
    

    
     BY SATANIC 
     
     SANTA | 
     
    
   
   
    
     ...his raey deal 
     
    
   
   
    
     HEADLESS GHOST OF PROM 
     
     QUEEN HAUNTS CASS 
     
    
   
   
    
     “| like the smell...” , 
     
     ‘ — i — After years of Researc 
     
    
   
   
    
     ITOOK100 HOURS es  — ~~ PRACTICAL 
     
     rr, OF = _ <a USE FOUND 
     
     JUDSON ah FOR  UPEI 
     
    
   
   
    
     GEOL-. PLANETARIU 
     
     OGY 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     NEW ORIENTATIO 
     
     COMMITTEE VOWS. 
     
    
   
   
    
     FROSH WILL 
     
     REVERE US 
     
     AS GODS! 
     
    
   
   
    
     --see page 96 
     
    
   
   
    
     ie 4 ..AND 
     
    
   
   
    
     SURVIVED 
     
    
   
   
    
     DANOLD. LANNE AFTER HIS ORDEAL 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     ...can we 
     
     stop them? 
     
    
   
   
    
     BIO CLUB. CHAOS 
     
    
   
   
    
     See page 1 
     
     New position guarantees 
     
    
   
   
    
     SKIN-BREATHING BABY EXPOSED 
     
     BY DOCTOR WHO DELIVERED HER 
     
    
   
   
    
     FAKEPLACE (GEM) - 
     
     A SKIN-BREATHING baby Dr. 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     Duckus told The Said Dr. Duckus, “ 
     
    
   
   
    
     has been discovered in Fake- 
     
     place, Prince County. Ac- 
     
     cording to reports from fab- 
     
     ricated sources, this amazing 
     
     little girl was born without a 
     
     set of lungs. 
     
    
   
   
    
     The existence of the girl 
     
     was kept secret by the com- 
     
     - However, testimony 
     
    

    
     Q. Duckus, who 
     
    

    
     delivered little Mary Ellen 
     
     Madeup, finally revealed her 
     
    
   
   
    
     Germ that he initially gave 
     
     Mary Ellen little hope of 
     
     surviving. 
     
    
   
   
    
     After Mary Ellen was 
     
     born the nurses caring for 
     
     her noticed that she had 
     
     an irregular heartbeat and 
     
     breathing pattern. A se- 
     
     ries of complicated tests 
     
     were performed. Everything 
     
    
   
   
    
     “seemed fine except for the 
     
    
   
   
    
     X-ray. 
     
    
   
   
    
     immediately ‘rushed litt 
     
     Mary Ellen into the o 
     
     erating room and performe 
     
     open-chest surgery. T 
     
     X-ray was right, she ha 
     
     no lungs! I couldn’t b 
     
     lieve my eyes. The thorac 
     
     cavity was completely empft 
     
     except for a small lump {| 
     
     tissue that appears to 
     
     acting as her heart”. 
     
    
   
   
    
     See “SKIN” Page 3...