Judgement:
      More
      dumb
      than
      scary,
      more
      funny
      than
      dumb.
      But
     
     
      every
      now
      and
      then,
      the
      humour
      goes
      out
      of
      the
      situation
      and
      the
     
     
      movies
      take
      a
      brief
      sidetrip
      to
      Spooksville.
      You
      may
      have
     
     
      trouble
      following
      the
      plot,
      but
      it
      doesn’t
      matter.
      The
      special
     
     
      effects
      for
      the
      big
      blobs
      of
      Stuffare
      really
      fun.
      Have
      a
      ball.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Remember
      reading
      those
      great
      old
      horror
      comics?
      Stephen
      king
     
     
      sure
      did,
      and
      he
      even
      made
      a
      movie
      about
      one.
      Creepshowisa
     
     
      series
      of
      short
      horror
      stories
      in
      that
      same
      style,
      tied
      together
      by
     
     
      acomic
      book
      theme.
      Every
      classic
      detail
      is
      lovingly
      rendered,
     
     
      tight
      down
      to
      the
      lines
      around
      the
      heads
      of
      the
      people
      getting
     
     
      killed
      and
      the
      twist
      endings.
      The
      segments
      are,
      in
      no
      particular
     
     
      order:
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Something
      To
      Tide
      You
      Over:
      Leslie
      Nielsen
      stars
      as
      the
     
     
      villain
      who
      buries
      Ted
      Danson
      in
      the
      sand
      up
      to
      the
      neck
      and
      lets
     
     
      the
      tide
      drown
      him.
      But
      Ted
      does
      not
      rest
      easy.
      Leslie
      isn’t
     
     
      funny
      here,
      but
      he
      plays
      the
      bad
      guy
      to
      the
      hilt
      and
      probably
      had
     
     
      fun
      doing
      it.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      The
      Crate:
      There’Ssomething
      nasty
      with
      big
      sharp
      teeth
      in
      a
     
     
      crate
      that’s
      been
      locked
      under
      a
      staircase
      for
      100
      years.
      The
     
     
      second
      grossest
      story
      of
      the
      bunch.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Father’s
      Day:
      There’s
      a
      family
      reunion
      held
      on
      Father’s
      Day.
     
     
      Father,
      long
      dead,
      comes
      back
      especially
      for
      the
      food.
      In
      the
     
     
      process
      he
      kills
      most
      of
      the
      family.
      Very
      funny.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      The
      Lonesome
      Death
      Of
      Jordi
      Verril:
      A
      bumpkin
      (played
      by
     
     
      Steven
      King)
      finds
      a
      meteorite
      in
      his
      back
      field.
      He
      acciden-
     
     
      tally
      breaks
      it
      open
      and
      green
      stuff
      (can
      you
      say
      ‘‘Meteorshit?’’)
     
     
      spills
      out.
      The
      green
      stuff
      turns
      out
      to
      be
      a
      fertilizer
      Vigoro
     
     
      would
      kill
      for.
      Really,
      really
      funny.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      They’re
      Creeping
      Up
      On
      You:
      About
      a
      zillion
      roaches
      get
     
     
      revenge
      on
      acompulsive
      cleaner.
      The
      grossest
      of
      the
      bunch.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Judgement:
      The
      best
      of
      the
      movies
      here.
      Funny,
      scary,
      gross
      and
     
    
   
   
    
     
      thoroughly
      enjoyable.
      It’s
      also
      rather
      popular,
      so
      if
      you
      haven’t
     
     
      ‘Seen
      it,
      do'so.
      Also
      check
      out
      Creepshow
      2
      while
      you’re
      at
      it.
     
     
      Same
      sort
      of
      idea,
      and
      almost
      as
      good.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Lastly,
      justto
      prove
      I
      don’t
      like
      everything
      I
      watch,
      areview
      of
     
     
      :
      The
      Howling:
      Part
      II.
      haven’tseen
      The
      Howling
      yet,
      and
      this
     
     
      Movie
      is
      the
      reason
      why.
      Lousy
      movie
      about
      the
      brother
      of
      the
     
     
      woman
      from
      the
      first
      film
      teaming
      up
      with
      his
      fiancee
      and
      an
     
     
      old
      guy
      who
      mumbles
      to
      wipe
      out
      the
      queen
      of
      the
      werewolves.
     
     
      They
      even
      get
      to
      go
      to
      Transylvania
      to
      do
      it.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Stupid.
      That
      sums
      it
      up
      pretty
      good.
      Awful
      dubbing
      makes
      the
     
     
      voice
      track
      almost
      unintelligible.
      Everybody
      mumbles
      so
      you
     
     
      can’t
      follow
      the
      plot
      which,
      by
      the
      way,
      is
      full
      ofholes.
      Acting
     
     
      Well
      below
      par,
      even
      for
      this
      kind
      of
      movie.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      However,
      there
      are
      one
      or
      two
      interesting
      points.
      The
      trademark
     
     
      of
      the
      Howling
      series
      has
      always
      been
      those
      interesting
      sex
     
     
      Scenes
      where
      the
      two
      lovers
      start
      as
      humans
      and
      gradually
      turn
     
    
   
   
    
     
      into
      werewolves
      as
      they
      near
      orgasm.
      Kinda
      gives
      new
      meaning
     
     
      to
      the
      phrase
      basic
      instinct,
      don’t
      it?
      That’s
      cool
      if
      you
      like
      that
     
     
      sort
      of
      thing.
      The
      plotline
      also
      has
      a
      couple
      of
      cute
      plot
      holes,
     
     
      like
      the
      fact
      that
      the
      heroes
      never
      run
      out
      of
      silver
      bullets.
      And
     
     
      the
      scenes
      in
      the
      European
      village
      are
      genuinely
      creepy
      (the
     
     
      kids
      laugh
      out
      loud
      at
      a
      puppet
      show
      where
      the
      wolf
      kills
      Little
     
     
      Red
      Riding
      Hood).
      And
      the
      best
      thing
      about
      this
      particular
     
     
      Howling
      is
      the
      fact
      that
      Reb
      Brown
      (Yor,
      the
      Hunter
      From
      The
     
     
      Future)
      in
      it
      and
      he
      still
      has
      that
      stupid
      grin
      on
      his
      face!
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Judgement:
      Like]
      said,
      I
      didn’t
      like
      it.
      Too
      hard
      to
      follow
      and
     
     
      the
      voicetrack
      gave
      mea
      headache.
      Butif
      you
      like
      werewolves
     
     
      and
      are
      intrigued
      by
      the
      sex
      scene
      described
      above,
      you
      might
     
     
      like
      parts
      of
      it.
      As
      my
      last
      word
      on
      it,
      I’
      ll
      leave
      you
      witha
      trivia
     
     
      question:
      How
      many
      times
      do
      they
      replay
      the
      scene
      where
      the
     
     
      female
      leader
      of
      the
      werewolves
      rips
      off
      her
      leather
      blouse?
     
     
      Anybody
      who
      sends
      me
      an
      answer
      to
      this
      question
      will
      be
     
     
      mentioned
      in
      an
      upcoming
      column.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Next
      week:
      Marvel
      madness
      when
      we
      take
      a
      look
      at
      The
     
     
      Punisher.
      Happy
      Hallowe’en!