years
      ago
      involving
      the
      Crimson
      Avenger
      and
     
     
      the
      Phantom
      of
      the
      Fair).
      The
      biggest
      change
      in
     
     
      the
      character
      is
      actually
      visual,
      as
      artist
      Guy
     
     
      Davis
      has
      redesigned
      Sandman’s
      outfit,
      opting
     
     
      for
      a
      trenchcoat
      instead
      of
      a
      cape
      and
      replacing
     
     
      his
      bizarre
      blue-and-gold
      gasmask
      with
      a
      more
     
     
      conventional
      (and
      somewhat
      more
      intimidat-
     
     
      ing)
      World
      War
      I
      vintage
      gas
      mask.
      The
      result
     
     
      is
      a
      slightly
      more
      realistic
      yet
      still
      stylishly
     
     
      spooky
      figure.
     
    

    
     
      Wagner’s
      scripting
      is
      excellent.
      The
      reader
     
     
      is
      presented
      with
      a
      strong
      supporting
      cast:
      the
     
     
      idealistic,
      upright
      Judge
      Schaffer;
      the
      blustery
     
     
      but
      sincere
      District
      Attorney
      Lawrence
      Belmont;
     
     
      ind
      the
      headstrong,
      intelligent
      and
      free-spirited
     
     
      Dian
      Belmont,
      the
      D.A.’s
      daughter.
      Dian,
      who
     
     
      was
      a
      recurring
      figure
      in
      the
      original
      Sandman
     
     
      lories,
      is
      intrigued
      by
      the
      eccentric
      Wesley
     
     
      Dodds,
      finding
      herself
      drawn
      to
      him
      and
      more
     
     
      leeply
      involved
      in
      the
      mystery
      surrounding
      his
     
     
      lter
      ego
      as
      both
      Sandman
      and
      police
      hunt
      the
     
     
      arantula,
      another
      shadowy
      figure
      whose
      mur-
     
     
      trous
      misogyny
      finds
      an
      outlet
      in
      the
      kidnap-
     
     
      ing
      and
      murder
      of
      beautiful
      young
      women,
     
     
      ginning
      with
      a
      friend
      of
      Dian’s
      who
      may
      have
     
     
      ad
      ties
      with
      the
      mob.
      Wagner
      builds
      suspense
     
     
      try
      effectively
      as
      the
      story
      unfolds
      bit
      by
      bit.
     
     
      ven
      the
      Sandman
      himself
      is
      a
      figure
      of
      mys-
     
     
      ty
      to
      us
      at
      first,
      as
      along
      with
      the
      other
     
     
      laracters
      we
      see
      only
      a
      bizarre
      figure
      of
      an
     
    

    
     
      own
      nature
      lurking
      in
      the
      shadows.
     
    

    
     
      This
      atmosphere
      of
      mystery
      is
      made
      possi-
     
     
      le
      in
      part
      by
      the
      artwork
      of
      Guy
      Davis.
      Davis’
     
     
      otk
      is
      highly
      detailed,
      very
      illustrative,
      and
     
     
      phasizes
      linework
      in
      its
      figures
      and
      shadings
     
     
      an
      extent
      that
      the
      finished
      artwork
      is
      reminis-
     
     
      nt
      of
      etchings
      or
      engravings.
      It
      can
      look
      rather
     
     
      atchy
      or
      sloppy
      in
      spots,
      but
      in
      many
      other
     
     
      aces
      it
      achieves
      a
      moody
      atmosphere
      that
      is
     
     
      compelling.
      Together
      with
      colorist
      David
     
     
      dmung,
      Davis
      creates
      a
      shadowy
      chiaroscuro
     
     
      t
      gives
      an
      eerie,
      dreamlike
      quality
      to
      such
     
     
      ‘nes
      as
      the
      Sandman’s
      nocturnal
      visit
      to
      the
     
     
      ‘\.
      and
      Dian’s
      unexpected
      encounter
      with
      a
     
     
      ain
      gas-masked
      figure
      lurking
      in
      the
      dark-
     
     
      td
      ladies
      room
      of
      the
      police
      precinct.
      Still,
     
     
      art
      is
      not
      without
      its
      flaws.
      The
      drawing’s
     
     
      asional
      sloppiness
      is
      most
      evident
      and
      dis-
     
     
      Sing
      in
      the
      faces
      of
      the
      characters,
      which
      are
     
     
      Netimes
      distorted
      or
      inconsistent.
      In
      particu-
     
     
      »
      Davis
      has
      a
      habit
      of
      drawing
      the
      most
     
     
      'esquely
      bulbous
      noses
      this
      side
      of
      Karl
     
     
      lden,
      particularly
      jarring
      when
      they
      appear
     
     
      lemale
      faces.
      Hideous
      honkers
      and
      sloppi-
     
     
      ‘aside,
      the
      artwork
      is
      reasonably
      competent
     
     
      ¢xcellently
      suited
      to
      the
      mood
      and
      tone
      of
     
     
      Series,
     
     
      Offering
      an
      intriguing
      mix
      of
      mystery,
      hor-
     
     
      and
      psychological
      drama,
      Sandman
      Mys-
     
    

    
     
      eatre
      is
      an
      unusual
      and
      unique
      new
      series
     
     
      ‘promises
      to
      be
      very
      interesting.
      It’s
      priced
     
     
      Somewhat
      expensive
      $2.50
      per
      issue
      and
      is
     
     
      lished
      monthly,
      and
      the
      book’s
      distinctive
     
     
      lographic
      cover
      art
      by
      Gavin
      Wilson
      makes
     
     
      ‘nd
      out.
      With
      all
      that
      it
      has
      going
      for
      it,
     
     
      man
      Mystery
      Theatre
      may
      become
      DC’s
     
     
      t
      sleeper
      hit.
      r)
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
         
     
     
        
     
     
         
     
     
       
     
     
         
     
     
          
     
     
         
     
     
         
     
     
         
     
     
         
     
     
         
     
     
          
     
     
        
     
     
         
     
     
        
     
     
        
     
     
       
     
     
         
     
     
        
     
     
          
     
     
         
     
     
         
     
     
        
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      This
      Week:
      Revenge
      of
      the
      Ninja
      Warrior
      and
      Shogun
      Assassin
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      by
      Trent
      Drake
     
    
   
   
    
     
      re
      turning
      Japanese.
      We’re
      turning
     
     
      \\
      /
      Japanese.
      I
      really
      think
      so.
      Seems
      like
     
    
   
   
    
     
      everybody
      these
      days
      is
      being
      sucked
     
     
      up
      into
      a
      swirling
      tornado
      of
      shuriken,
      katanas,
     
     
      lame
      plots
      and
      Oriental
      action.
      Let’s
      face
      it,
     
     
      ninjas
      are
      HOT.
      They’
      reabsolutely
      everywhere.
     
     
      They’re
      in
      cereal
      boxes,
      sewers,
      theme
      parks,
     
     
      video
      games,
      Oprah,
      and
      your
      closets
      (That
     
     
      oughtta
      make
      you
      paranoid).
     
    

    
     
      And
      with
      all
      that
      popularity,
      you’
      d
      think
     
     
      they
      could
      afford
      more
      than
      one
      plot.
     
    

    
     
      But
      noooo,
      all
      we
      ever
      get
      is
      good
      ninja
     
     
      versus
      the
      bad
      ninja(s)
      who
      killed
      his
      father.
     
     
      And
      we
      all
      know
      why,
      right?
      Because
      American
     
     
      film
      producers
      don’t
      know
      enough
      about
      real
     
     
      Japanese
      culture
      to
      do
      a
      realistic
      martial
      ‘arts
     
     
      movie.
      Right?
      Right?
     
    

    
     
      Well,
      sort
      of.
      The
      two
      movies
      I’m
      re-
     
     
      viewing
      here
      were
      produced
      with
      Japanese
     
     
      scripts,
      Japanese
      crews,
      and
      Japanese
      locales...
     
     
      and
      they
      suck.
      This
      week’s
      column
      has
      one
     
    
   
   
    
     
      goal:
      To,
      by
      showing
      that
      even
      the
      near
      mythic.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Japanese
      are
      capable
      of
      their
      fair
      share
      of
      cul-
     
     
      tural
      distortion,
      show
      them
      to
      be
      only
      human
     
     
      and
      bring
      the
      world
      one
      step
      closer
      to
      a
      global
     
     
      brotherhood
      of
      man.
     
    

    
     
      And
      maybe
      get
      some
      cheap
      laughs
      in
     
     
      the
      process.
     
    

    
     
      First
      up,
      the
      world’s
      most
      convoluted
     
     
      plot
      in
      the
      world’s
      least
      animated
      Japanimation
     
     
      feature:
      Revenge
      of
      the
      Ninja
      Warrior.
      This
      is
     
     
      the
      tale
      of
      Jiro,
      a
      young
      orphan
      boy
      who
      pos-
     
     
      sesses
      a
      glowing
      dagger.
      In
      the
      second
      scene,
      a
     
     
      Ninja
      Assassin(tm)
      from
      a
      Mysterious
      Cult(c)
     
     
      kills
      Jiro’s
      mother
      and
      sister
      and
      frames
      Jiro
      for
     
     
      it.
      As
      the
      plot
      develops,
      confusion
      abounds.
     
     
      Jiro’s
      real
      father
      turns
      out
      to
      be
      from
      a
      clan
      of
     
     
      mysterious
      ninjas
      that
      guards
      a
      mountain
      from
     
     
      which
      blows
      a
      fierce
      wind
      that
      may
      be
      either
     
     
      good
      or
      evil.
      The
      evil
      leader
      of
      the
      clan
      chases
     
     
      Jiro
      and
      has
      his
      real
      father
      killed
      and
      then
     
     
      befriends
      Jiro
      and
      trains
      him
      to
      be
      a
      fierce
     
     
      warrior
      and
      sends
      him
      to
      the
      mysterious
      village
     
     
      at
      the
      foot
      of
      the
      mysterious
      mountain
      and
     
     
      dispatches
      Jiro’s
      trainer
      to
      kill
      Jiro
      for
      some
     
     
      mysterious
      reason
      and
      there’s
      a
      mysterious
     
     
      fight
      scene
      and
      mysteriously,
      it’s
      as
      boring
      as
     
    
   
   
    
     
      the
      Hell
      Where
      People
      Watch
      Reruns
      of
      Full
     
     
      House.
      Jiro
      fights
      the
      trainer
      and
      then
      poisons
     
     
      him
      (?).
     
    

    
     
      From
      here,
      the
      plot
      slows
      to
      the
      pace
      of
     
     
      a
      physically
      challenged
      snail,
      and
      goes
      through
     
     
      more
      twists
      than
      a
      boa
      constrictor
      ina
      pretzel
     
     
      maker.
      As
      Jiro
      searches,
      first
      for
      his
      mother
      and
     
     
      then
      for
      Captain
      Kid’s
      treasure
      (??),
      he
      goes
     
     
      through
      fight
      scene
      after
      fight
      scene
      with
      no
      real
     
     
      reason
      exceptso
      the
      ninjas
      can
      kill
      Jiro’s
      friends.
     
     
      He
      goes
      to
      America,
      meets
      a
      lovely
      Indian
      lass
     
     
      who
      later
      turns
      out
      to
      be
      a
      Caucasian
      reporter
      in
     
     
      disguise
      (???)
      and
      even
      befriends
      Mark
      Twain
     
    

    
     
      Stupid?
      You
      bet.
      Boring?
      Yep.
      Idiotic?
     
     
      Yeah...
      worse
      than
      Bob
      Saget.
      Spectacularly
     
     
      animated?
      Nope.
      The
      characters
      barely
      move.
     
     
      Most
      of
      the
      movie
      is
      one
      still
      picture
      with
      a
     
     
      moving
      background
      of
      laser
      effects.
      When
      the
     
     
      characters
      do
      move,
      they
      all
      move
      the
      same
     
     
      way.
      In
      a
      word,
      stupidly.
      They
      leap
      like
      horny
     
     
      kangaroos
      through
      forest
      and
      rocks
      and
      across
     
     
      flatmeadows.
      Even
      the
      fight
      scenesare
      stiffand
     
     
      undynamic,
      suffering
      from
      a
      severe
      case
      of
     
     
      overused
      laser
      effects.
      The
      final
      conflict
      with
     
     
      the
      High
      Priest
      barely
      moves.
     
    

    
     
      Stuff
      to
      Watch
      For:
      Only
      one
      scene
      I
     
     
      can
      think
      of
      has
      to
      be
      seen.
      Near
      the
      end,
      on
     
     
      board
      a
      ship,
      Jiro
      turns
      to
      two
      guys
      he
      doesn’t
     
     
      know
      and
      delivers
      the
      following
      wonderfully
     
     
      dumb
      line
      ina
      stoic
      deadpan:
      ‘‘
      You
      are
      the
      only
     
     
      two
      who
      survived.
      I
      am
      grateful.’’
     
    

    
     
      Judgement:
      Don’t
      watch
      it,
      if
      you
      value
     
     
      your
      illusions
      of
      the
      quality
      of
      Japanese
      anima-
     
     
      tion.
      It
      SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS!
     
     
      Still,
      it
      could
      have
      been
      worse.
      His
      name
      could
     
     
      have
      been
      Ryu.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      But
      anyone
      who
      knows
      anything
      about
      Japa-
     
     
      nese
      culture
      realizes
      that
      the
      hype
      over
      ninjas
      is
     
     
      undeserved.
      Real
      ninjas
      were
      cowardly,
      skulk-
     
     
      ing
      creatures
      with
      little
      or
      none
      of
      the
      honour
     
     
      and
      swordfighting
      prowess
      that
      the
      movies
     
     
      attribute
      to
      them.
      The
      real
      stars
      of
      feudal
      Japan
     
     
      were
      the
      samurai
      who
      guarded
      the
      Shogun.
     
     
      They
      were
      so
      full
      of
      honour
      they
      squished
      when
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      continued
      on
      next
      page
     
    
   
   
    
     
      25