—meZ- 
     
    
   
   
    
     By Kaberi Dasgupta 
     
    
   
   
    
     Psst! Watch out: Here 
     
     comes the enemy. 
     
    

    
     Well, the fortress of the 
     
     enemy. The remains of the 
     
    
   
   
    
     fortress of the enemy. 
     
     Red, watery swollen eyes. 
     
     Bulging, blistered nose. 
     
    
   
   
    
     Mouth full of cough lozenges. 
     
     He trudges on, leaving a trail 
     
     of Kleenex behind him. 
     
    

    
     This would not happen to 
     
     me this winter. I had suffered 
     
    
   
   
    
     for too many years. 
     
    

    
     This year I would defeat 
     
     the enemy. 
     
    

    
     Vitamins every morning. 
     
     Ten glasses of organge juice 
     
     per day. Exercise five times 
     
     every week. 
     
    

    
     Sweaters, scarves, coats, 
     
     gloves, three pair of socks, 
     
     stockings. A 
     
    

    
     Chicken soup. 
     
    

    
     Stream baths. 
     
    

    
     January came to an end. 
     
     1’30 degree temperature. I 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     NOpTON 
     
    
   
   
    
     jewellercg ltd. 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     We repairall types of jewellery. 
     
     ' Q‘uality instore service. 
     
     Trophies, plaques, 
     
    

    
     and engraving also available. 
     
     NODTONCg 
     
    
   
   
    
     jewellcrcg ltd. 
     
    
   
   
    
     Coahdorcflon Ctr" Moll 
     
    
   
   
    
     4 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     /v 
     
    
   
   
    
     could still breathe! I could 
     
    
   
   
    
     speak. 
     
     My choir director was 
     
     astounded. My mother 
     
    
   
   
    
     stopped buying cases of 
     
     Triamini'c. People were will- 
     
    
   
   
    
     ing to look directly at me, 
     
    
   
   
    
     without covering their 
     
     mouths and noses when I 
     
     spoke to them. 
     
    
   
   
    
     After years of struggle, I 
     
    
   
   
    
     had finally conquered Prince , 
     
    
   
   
    
     Fresh Point of View... winter version ‘ 
     
    
   
   
    
     Edward Island winters. 
     
    

    
     Then one day, when the 
     
     temperature hovered around 
     
     0°C, I did the unthinkable. 
     
    

    
     I did not wear a hat. 
     
    
   
   
    
     May, ‘Fefiriii‘y E1! ’ 
     
    
   
   
    
     .i: {33;}, :~. ~ 
     
    
   
   
    
     ghsnyg‘ 
     
    
   
   
    
     The enemy had been wait- 
     
     ing for this moment ... 
     
    

    
     Until June, writing may be 
     
     my only means of com- 
     
     munications. 
     
    
   
   
    
     Tale of the Duck; or, hOWt’he 
     
     normal curve [originated 
     
    
   
   
    
     By The Duck 
     
    
   
   
    
     Once upon a time in a 
     
     kingdom that was not far 
     
     away from McDonald’s 
     
     Restuarant on University 
     
    
   
   
    
     Avenue there lived a duck 
     
     who never went to Church. 
     
    

    
     The duck was green with a 
     
     long red neck and two eyes 
     
     that could only be described 
     
    
   
   
    
     Degree applications 
     
    
   
   
    
     All students, full-time and part-time, who expect to; 
     
    
   
   
    
     graduate in May, ' 1985, are reminded that they must make 
     
     application for a certificate, diploma, or degree. 
     
    

    
     Application forms are avdilable at the Registrar’s Office 
     
     and must be completed by Friday, 15 March. The graduation 
     
     fee must be paid by Tuesday, 16 April, as follows: 
     
    
   
   
    
     Certificate or Diploma ~ 
     
    
   
   
    
     Degree 
     
    
   
   
    
     $10 
     
     $45 
     
    
   
   
    
     Tax deduction forms 
     
    
   
   
    
     The Education Deduction forms (T2202A), which allow 
     
     full-time students a deduction of $50 per month for the 1984 
     
     tax return, are available in the Registrar’s Office, Kelley 
     
    
   
   
    
     Building . 
     
    
   
   
    
     Tuition receipt forms are also available in the Business 
     
     Office for all fulLtime and part-time students. 
     
     Please pick up the above forms as soon as possible. 
     
    
   
   
    
     . as missing. » 
     
    
   
   
    
     The duck in all his wealth 
     
     could actually fly first class 
     
     South for the winter, and so 
     
     one day he left the kingdom 
     
    
   
   
    
     4 and this story. 
     
    
   
   
    
     Many years later, as a 
     
     matter a fact it was yesterday, 
     
    
   
   
    
     the duck returned to find that - 
     
    
   
   
    
     the once-beautiful kingdom 
     
     had changed to an institute 
     
     of higher learning. ‘ 
     
    

    
     This upset the duck be- 
     
     cause he didn’t think that 
     
     higher learning was needed 
     
     since, after all, he was only 
     
     aduck. 
     
    

    
     So the duck, using all of 
     
     his duckly powers, went 
     
     about changing the goals of 
     
     the institution. 
     
    

    
     First the duck put lounges 
     
     all over the campus to make 
     
     all the rulers relax and not 
     
     notice all the coming changes 
     
     that they would have gotten 
     
     upset over if they weren’T 
     
     RELAXED. 
     
    
   
   
    
     They, by using hypnosis, he 
     
     made all the Profs use a 
     
     deviant practice called THE 
     
     NORMAL CURVE to mark 
     
     all papers and tests. 
     
    

    
     The duck then let the stu- 
     
     dents of the once mighty 
     
     institution know that if every- 
     
     one scored low on every 
     
     paper and exam under the 
     
     system ‘of THE' NORMAL 
     
     CURVE,’ everyone would 
     
     actually get a good mark. 
     
    

    
     The duck was again ruler 
     
     of the kingdom in just a few 
     
     short decades, since other 
     
     smart ducks all over the 
     
     universe had also performed 
     
     the same trick on the institu- 
     
     tionsof higher learning in 
     
    
   
   
    
     their kingdom too. 
     
    
   
   
    
     Soon the smart ducks were 
     
     the only creatures smart 
     
     enough to rule anything. The 
     
     moral of this story is that 
     
     you should give'a heck about 
     
     your education but don’t give 
     
     a heck about a duck. ' 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
         
     
         
     
       
     
       
     
        
     
       
     
       
     
         
     
       
     
       
     
       
     
           
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     - y . . . . . . y . . - . . . . . . . v . . . . . . - 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     .r 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     Of the Fiéld and Stream Club 
     
     “WHERE THERE ARE NO STRANGERS, ONLY 
     
     FRIENDS YOU HAVEN'T MET” 
     
    
   
   
    
     ONEOF CHARLOTTETOWN’S 
     
    
   
   
    
     MOST POPULAR DANCE SPOTS 
     
    
   
   
    
     SUPER HAPPY HOUR 
     
    
   
   
    
     ALL NIGHT 
     
    
   
   
    
     MONDAY & TUESDAY 
     
    
   
   
    
     8:00 TO 10:00 P.M.’ _ / 
     
     WEDNESDAY.& THURSDAY 
     
    
   
   
    
     10 Ft.VideO Screen 
     
     Plenty Of Dance Space 
     
    
   
   
    
     LOUNGE OPENs '11 AM. To LATE 
     
     139 KENT STREET. CHARLOTTETOWN 
     
    
   
   
    
     Manager: John Broderick 
     
     894-4291