peat,
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Dear
      John,
     
    
   
   
    
     
      My
      bathroom
      buddy
      has
      this
      annoying
      habit
      of
      leaving
      drops
      on
      the
      toilet
      seat.-What
      can
      I
      do?
     
     
      Tired
      of
      Puddles
     
    
   
   
    
     
      advice
      from
      a
      slightly
     
     
      different
      perspective
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Dear
      Puddles,
     
     
      Buy
      one
      of
      those
      tacky
      signs
      that
      says:
      If
      you
      sprinkle
      when
      you
      tinkle,
      be
      a
      sweet
      and
      wipe
      the
     
     
      seat.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Dear
      John,
     
     
      I
      am
      looking
      for
      used
      Playboy
      or
      Playgirl
      magazines.
      I
      am
      willing
      to
      pay
      top
      dollar.
      If
      anyone
     
     
      has
      any
      laying
      about,
      please
      contact
      me
      in
      room
      218
      of
      Marion
      Hall.
     
     
      Sincerely,
     
     
      Homer
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Dear
      Homer,
     
     
      You
      are
      one
      sick,
      disgusting
      pig.
      Just
      how
      much
      are
      you
      willing
      to
      pay?
      I
      might
      have
      a
      couple
     
     
      of
      magazines
      under
      my
      bed,
      I’ll
      check.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      |
     
     
      }
     
     
      }
     
     
      |
     
     
      |
     
     
      }
     
     
      |
     
     
      |
     
     
      }
     
     
      |
     
     
      :
     
     
      .
     
    
   
   
    
     
      UNB
      suspends
     
     
      professor
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Date
      rape
      advocate
     
     
      disciplined
     
    
   
   
    
     
      (CUP)
     
     
      he
      University
      of
      New
      Brunswick
      in
     
     
      fo
      Fredericton
      has
      suspended
      mathemat-
     
     
      ics
      professor
      Matin
      Yaqzan,
      author
      ofa
     
     
      controversial
      article
      on
      date
      rape
      published
      on
     
     
      Nov.
      5
      in
      the
      student
      newspaper.
     
    

    
     
      The
      suspension
      takes
      effect
      today.
      Tom
     
     
      Traves,
      vice-president
      (academic),
      has
      initi-
     
     
      ated
      a
      full
      review
      of
      Prof.
      Yaqzan’s
      perform-
     
     
      ance
      of
      his
      professional
      responsibilities.
      Al-
     
     
      though
      precipitated
      by
      the
      Nov.
      5
      newspaper
     
    
   
   
    
     
      |
      article,
      this
      review
      will
      encompass
      Prof.
     
     
      |
      Yaqzan’s
      total
      employment
      record.
     
     
      |
      Prof.
      Yaqzan
      has
      been
      instructed
      to
      stay
      away
     
    
   
   
    
     
      from
      the
      university
      campus
      during
      the
      suspen-
     
     
      sion.
      Another
      instructor
      will
      be
      assigned
      to
      his
     
     
      courses
      until
      the
      matter
      is
      resolved.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      AVAILABLE
      AT:
      PROUDE
      SHOES
      -
      161
      ST.
      PETERS
      ROAD
     
    
   
   
    
     
      November
      18,
      1993/X-Press/15