Editorial
      21:
      Chicken
      and
      Ham
     
    
   
   
    
     
      I
      am
      now
      sitting
      in
      a
      booth
     
     
      at
      a
      crowded
      Wendy’s
      restaurant
     
     
      waiting
      for
      The
      Editor
      to
      bring
      me
     
     
      my
      chicken
      and
      ham
      sandwich
     
     
      combo.
      I
      always
      get
      the
      Taste
      of
      the
     
     
      Month.
     
    

    
     
      Matt
      Dorrell,
      The
      Editor’s
     
     
      “attorney,”
      arrives
      first
      with
      his
     
     
      double
      burger
      combo.
      He
      sits
     
     
      opposite
      me
      and
      I
      pretend
      he
      is
      not
     
     
      there
      and
      continue
      to
      prepare
      for
     
     
      my
      forthcoming
      interview
      with
      The
     
     
      Editor.
      This
      is
      going
      to
      be
      my
      big
     
     
      break.
     
    

    
     
      The
      Editor
      finally
      arrives
     
     
      with
      two
      upsized
      chicken
      and
      ham
     
     
      sandwich
      combos.
      He
      sits
      down
     
     
      next
      to
      Dorrell,
      creating
      an
      intimi-
     
     
      dating
      division
      between
      the
      inter-
     
     
      viewer
      and
      the
      interviewees.
      The
     
     
      Editor
      gives
      me
      my
      food
      and
      with-
     
     
      out
      touching
      a
      thing,
      I
      begin
      the
     
     
      interview.
     
    

    
     
      So,
      what
      is
      it
      that
      you
      like
     
     
      about
      the
      mall?
      We
      had
      just
      visited
     
     
      the
      Charlottetown
      Mall.
     
    

    
     
      “There’s
      lots
      of
      ass
      at
      the
     
     
      mall,”
      says
      The
      Editor,
      unwrapping
     
     
      his
      chicken
      and
      ham
      sandwich.
     
    

    
     
      Speaking
      of
      ass,
      we
      recent-
     
    
   
   
    
     
      CONTENTS
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      3
      SAFFRON
     
    
   
   
    
     
      5
      POSTCARDS
     
    
   
   
    
     
      11
      =Sear
      SALE
     
     
      ly
      discovered
      that
      some
      asshole
      has
     
     
      12.
      Pouitics
      been
      removing
      all
      of
      the
      copies
      of
     
     
      :
      The
      Cadre
      from
      the
      stands
      and
     
     
      13
      ECMA
      SurvIvAL
      throwing
      them
      in
      the
      trash.
      What
     
     
      do
      you
      think
      of
      that?
     
     
      18
      ECMA
      BAnp
      REVIEWS
      The
      Editor
      tears
      open
      a
     
     
      packet
      of
      ranch
      dressing
      and
      spills
     
     
      fl
      Discs
      or
      Fury
      the
      contents
      on
      his
      burger
      wrapper.
     
     
      “Well,
      my
      boy,
      when
      you’re
      a
      star
     
     
      19“
      FAMILY
      VIOLENCE
      of
      my
      magnitude,
      you’re
      not
      con-
     
    
   
   
    
     
      cerned
      with
      the
      goings-on
      from
      day
     
     
      to
      day.”
      He
      selects
      a
      french
      fry
      and
     
     
      dips
      it
      profusely
      into
      the
      ranch
     
     
      1
      dressing.
      “This
      really
      troubles
      me,
     
    

    
     
      "however,
      because
      it’s
      really
      stu-
     
     
      dents’
      money
      being
      thrown
      away—
     
     
      being
      completely
      wasted.
     
     
      ‘Normally,
      I
      don’t
      mind
      wasting
     
     
      students’
      money.
      I
      mean,
      The
     
     
      Cadre’s
      recent
      trip
      to
      Vancouver
     
     
      was
      purely
      for
      me
      to
      get
      my
      dri-
     
     
      ver’s
      license
      renewed.”
      Kent
      is
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      from
      Coquitlam,
      British
      Columbia:
     
     
      a
      suburb
      of
      Vancouver.
     
    

    
     
      What
      would
      you
      to
      the
      per-
     
     
      son
      if
      you
      found
      him
      or
      her?
     
    

    
     
      “T
      can
      tell
      you
      their
      name
     
     
      would
      stink
      for
      a
      very
      long
      time,”
     
     
      says
      The
      Editor
      chomping
      on
      a
     
     
      french
      fry
      drenched
      in
      ranch
      dress-
     
     
      ing.
     
    

    
     
      “But
      nothing
      rash
      would
      be
     
     
      done,”
      pipes
      in
      Dorrell.
      “Proper
     
     
      channels
      would
      be
      taken.”
     
    

    
     
      Like
      what?
     
    

    
     
      “I
      would
      string
      the
      scurvy
     
     
      pig
      fucker
      up
      by
      his
      nuts,”
      says
      The
     
     
      Editor.
     
    

    
     
      What
      if
      the
      person
      is
      a
     
     
      woman?
     
    

    
     
      “His
      or
      her
      nuts,”
      supplies
     
     
      The
      Editor.
     
    

    
     
      Did
      you
      say
      pig
      fucker?
     
    

    
     
      “How
      about
      chicken
      fuck-
     
     
      er?”
      asks
      Dorrell,
      clearly
      forgetting
     
     
      his
      role
      to
      protect
      his
      client’s
      repu-
     
     
      tation.
     
    

    
     
      “But
      I
      like
      pig
      fucker,”
     
     
      replies
      The
      Editor.
      “Chicken
      fuck-
     
     
      er’s
      too
      tame.”
     
    

    
     
      “How
      about
      chicken/pig
     
     
      fucker?”
      asks
      Dorrell,
      pronouncing
     
     
      the
      slash.
     
    

    
     
      “That’s
      good,”
      says
      The
     
     
      Editor.
      He
      takes
      a
      bite
      of
      his
      sand-
     
     
      wich.
      “Veggy
      goof.”
      He
      chews
     
     
      three
      times,
      swallows
      and
      looks
      at
     
     
      me.
      “Did
      you
      get
      all
      that?”
     
    

    
     
      Yeah,
      I
      think
      so.
      1
      am
      scrib-
     
     
      bling
      away
      furiously
      on
      my
      sheet
     
     
      of
      paper.
     
    

    
     
      I
      realise
      at
      this
      point
      that
      the
     
     
      interview
      is
      over
      and
      turn
      to
      my
     
     
      meal.
      I
      unwrap
      my
      sandwich
      and
     
     
      examine
      it.
     
    

    
     
      “Chicken
      and
      ham,”
      says
     
     
      The
      Editor
      noticing
      me
      examining
     
     
      my
      sandwich.
      “I
      like
      them
      both.”
     
    

    
     
      Its
      two
      meats
      in
      one.
      Thats
     
     
      always
      good.
      |
      pick
      up
      my
      sand-
     
     
      wich
      and
      take
      a
      large
      bite.
     
    

    
     
      Olwies
      goof.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Jeff
      Coll
     
     
      Production
      Manager