amass , -.na.2,e 9 ~ Twenty years strong: Kinks’ Wordof Mouth By Glen Boswall Up until I hear “Word of Mouth”, my exposure to the Kinks was limited to “The Destroyer” and Van Halen’s version of “You Really Got Me”; My apologies to Kinks fans if I am unable to relate this latest album to their previous efforts. The thing that I noticed about Word of Mouth was that although the songs weren’t all that brilliant, they were damn catchy. Another thing you may notice is the age gap. The Kinks have been at this game for some 20 years. Ray Davies (songwriter, rhythm guitarist, vocalist) has gone from writing about his girl- friends to singing about his children in songs like “Going Solo”. The album doesn’t exactly carry a message for today’s teen. That’s okay, though. Mu- sicians write best about what they have experienced and I am sure that fans who grew up with The Kinks will be How to be a Heavy Metal Guitarist By‘ Jean Litre (formerly Jean Baptiste Litre of Brain Drain fame) (The Author’s latest solo effort can be heard on the album Yet To Be, distri- buted by Outastok Records, BS 041-140. 1. Move your left hand fingers all the time, even when they’re not needed. It looks more impressive and it keeps other guitarists from figuring out your solos. ' 2. Turn up your amp really loud so the audience will be too stunneed by your volume to realize when (if) you make a mistake. Warn- ing: This doesn’t work on albums. 3. Jump all over the stage. Standing still while playing is best left to country, classi- cal, ‘and certain punk guitar players. Don’t worry about overdoing it —— that’s impos- sible in the eyes of the audience. , I 4. This is really important: NEVFn F‘VER D0 DRUGS 0R DRINK. You want to remember everything you did at any concert, just in case you’re sued. Besides, it tends to slow your progess. 5. When soloing, play as many notes as you possibly can. Most of the time, the audience only can appreciate virtuoso speed. This requires at least 24 hours of practice a day. A good speed guitar— ist is Yngwie Malmsteen (soc-"ed correctly as it!). 6. It you want to have a standard HM image, dress like a post WWIII survivor. It’ll freak out the photo- graphers. Some examples are Motely Crue and Ratt. 7. To be considered origi— nal and phenomenal, make you guitar squeal and groan as much .as possible. The idea is to sound stranger than the background music in a horror movie. 8. Try to do spins and twist arOund a lot to block the view of any guitarist who Wants to figure out your solos. In videos, this is easier‘ to do. 9. Get a really impressive light show to accentuate your songs. The idea is to blast your audience into sub- mission with the explosions. (Now the next two tips are for those who want to out- rage people and get cheap press coverage, so they’re optional. Any band that fol- lows these two tips is risking being called a sludge band. Take my word for it!) 10. Occasionally, attack the audience (not too brutally — I lawsuits!) with your guitar. Don’t worry too much about hurting them, though. The ones up front must be doped up to withstand your 120 decibel sound. 11. Another cheap gimmick is to tear up something cute with your bare hands, like a Cabbage Patch (TM) of a Smurf (TM) doll. Everyone is probably sick of them by now. This not for the squeamish, obviously. l2. To really deviate from the norm (thus getting valu- Mag features our Students The March/April issue of COMMON 'GROUND: A Journal for Island Women is now available. ,To make International Year of the Youth, the theme is “Young Women-Who are they and U.P.E'.l.» student v .Dasgupta, one of five fea: a.» what are their concerns? ’ ’ The magazine profiles five “strong and spunky” young women with a variety of backgrounds, ranging from agriculture to medicine. They are Cathy Hendricken, Beth Corney, Kaberi Dasgupta. tured in this month’s issue ot ‘ Common Ground. Susan Skeffington Madonna Pomeroy. Four Island students, Beth MacNeill and Lucia Harper from Colonel Grey, and Debbie Bowes and Marilyn Balderston from U.P.E.I. discuss their views on educa- tion, jobs, family life and sex role stereotyping. In her article “Growing Up Together”, Judy Whi~ taker shares some personal insights about being a mother .of teenage girls and main- taining mutual respect as family members grow and change. There are art and theatre reviews, liberating laughs, poems, news items about women’s organizations and more. COMMON GROUND is published bi-monthly by P.E.I. Women’s Network, a voluntary organization working to support and strengthen women’s efforts to improve their status in society. Many of the articles are contributed by readers themselves. Submissions are welcome. Deadline for the May issue is April 8. The themes are arts and agricul- ture but articles on any aspect of women’s issues and acti- vities will be considered. For a sample copy of COMMON GROUND call 894-8027. and able attention and press) make a really flashy video with minimal violence and no sexual overtones. The idea is to be recognized for quality. Obscure lyrics also help. A good example is the video for Bark at the Moon (Ozzy Bark at the Moon (Ozzy Osbourne). This is respect- able heavy metal. Also, a tuned guitar really helps. I still can’t tune mine, so I hired someone to tune it for me. It’s worth it! With all this in mind, keep your goals within reasons. For example, retiring at the age of 30 with millions in the bank and a slew of records is barely reasonable. I’ll see you on my World Tour! more than pleased with the record. If you haven’t noticed, Ray Davies can’t sing. He camou- flages this somewhat effect- ively with heavy voice har— monizing. but it is' still obvious. One cannot com- plain, however, when one considers Rod Stewart, Lemmy (Motorhead), Dan McCafferty (Nazereth), and Kim Carnes who all have thriving careers despite voices that sound like Knowlton Nash in various stages of a cold. “Do It Again” is definitely the adrenaline pusher on the album. It joins ranks with “Sold Me Out“, “Massive Reductions” and “Guilty” to make Word of Mouth a tape for your ghetto blaster this summer. At the end ofthe day or the end of the season you’ll probably find “Going Solo”, “Summer’s Gone”, and “Living on a Thin Line” more to your liking. I like Word of Mouth. The songs are tight and well- produced (Ray’s fourth func- tion on the album). There is an intricate blending of rather simple individual parts to produce a sound that at first seems complex. The Kinks must have talent to have hung on for 20 years and still sell records. Besides that, Samantha Taylor hasn’t babbled on about them on the last 30 episodes of Video Hits, and Cream Magazine has yet to do 14 three-page articles on them. These factors are virtual guarantees of the superiority ofthe band. Listen to Word of Mouth. If you are not a Kinks Fan already, you will be. THE KINKS Word of Mouth High Points “Do It Again” “Sole Me Out" “Massive Reductions” “Going Solo” “Summer’s Gone" Low Points “Good Day” “Word of Mouth” Ray Davies’ voice Album cover design isn't too hot Door Prizes Thursday l -l' I? 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