I
      cannot
      believe
      that
      it
     
     
      is
      just
      5
      o’clock
      in
      the
     
     
      evening
      and
      almost
     
     
      dark.
      I
      find
      that
      to
      be
      a
     
     
      little
      depressing.
      Idon’t
     
     
      know
      why
      I
      reject
      this
     
     
      idea
      of
      putting
      an
      end
      to
     
     
      daylight
      savings
      time,
     
     
      but
      I
      do.
      I
      really
      do
      not
     
     
      believe
      I
      suffer
      from
     
     
      seasonal
      adjustment
      dis-
     
     
      order.
      Who
      discovered
     
     
      this
      scientific
      break-
     
     
      through?
      The
      Natural
     
     
      Law
      Party?
      I
      would
     
     
      gladly
      trade
      in
      an
      extra
     
     
      hour
      of
      sleep
      each
      Au-
     
     
      tumn
      if
      it
      meant
      a
      little
     
     
      more
      light
      at
      the
      end
      of
     
     
      the
      day.
      Don’t
      think
      for
     
     
      amoment
      that
      you
      have
     
     
      a
      one-hour
      bonus
      in
      your
      life,
      for
      that
     
     
      hour
      is
      seized
      from
      you
      each
      spring.
      That
     
     
      is
      just
      my
      small
      protest
      against
      the
      work-
     
     
      ings
      of
      the
      world.
      I
      dotry
      to
      be
      optimistic,
     
     
      but
      just
      when
      I
      think
      everything
      is
      near-
     
     
      ing
      the
      brink
      of
      perfection,
      one
      diminu-
     
     
      tive
      little
      occurrence
      forces
      its
      way
      into
     
     
      the
      day,
      and
      everything
      falls
      to
      pieces.
     
     
      My
      sudden
      despair
      that
      is
      seemingly
     
     
      finding
      its
      way
      onto
      the
      pages
      of
      the
     
     
      innocent
      X-Press
      is
      not
      unfounded.
      I
     
     
      have
      a
      reason
      for
      my
      anguish,
      and
      if
     
     
      anyone
      remembers
      my
      battle
      last
      year
     
     
      with
      one
      particular
      Export
      ‘A’
      smoking
     
     
      inhabitant
      of
      the
      utility
      building,
      then
      you
     
    
   
   
    
     
      By
      5S.
      Livingstone
     
    
   
   
    
     
      will
      realize
      that
      I
      suffer.
      I
      know
      the
      pain.
      Now,
      back
      to
      my
      torment.
      The
      house
      in
     
     
      which
      I
      claim
      residence
      status
      has
      a
      new
      furnace.
      What
      fun,
      you
      say!
      Well,
      cancel
     
     
      the
      party
      favours,
      because
      this
      home
      heating
      unit
      is
      the
      root
      of
      all
      evil.
      Please
      read
     
     
      on.
     
    

    
     
      A
      new
      furnace
      was
      installed
      at
      the
      end
      of
      September,
      and
      the
      house
      was
      filled
     
     
      with
      a
      warm
      and
     
     
      cosy
      feeling
      which
     
     
      emanated
      from
      the
     
     
      century-old
      rads,
     
     
      That
      is
      the
      memory
     
     
      Thold
      onto
      to
      main-
     
     
      tain
      the
      small
      bit
      of
     
     
      sanity
      I
      possess.
     
     
      The
      old
      furnace
      (it
     
     
      was
      acquired
      by
      the
     
     
      Smithsonian)
      had
     
     
      ceased
      to
      operate
      at
     
     
      the
      end
      of
      the
      sum-
     
     
      mer,
      and
      it
      took
      a
     
     
      considerable
     
     
      amount
      of
      time
      for
     
     
      the
      new
      one
      to
      be
     
     
      installed.
      The
      shiny
     
     
      new
      furnace
      added
     
     
      acertain
      glow
      to
      the,
     
     
      otherwise
      murky
     
     
      and
      sometimes
      scary
     
    
   
   
    
     
        
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
        
     
     
       
     
     
        
     
     
         
     
     
        
     
     
        
     
     
        
     
     
        
     
     
          
     
     
        
     
     
        
     
     
       
     
     
        
     
     
         
     
     
        
     
     
         
     
    
   
   
    
     
      basement
      which
      I
      venture
      into
      as
      little
      as
      possible.
     
    

    
     
      This
      wonderful
      new
      furnace,
      which
      was
      the
      source
      of
      endless
     
     
      conversation
      as
      though
      the
      house
      had
      just
      given
      birth,
      became
      source
      of
     
     
      outrage
      on
      the
      weekend.
      It
      may
      seem
      strange
      to
      you
      that
      someone
      nearing
     
     
      the
      completion
      of
      a
      university
      degree
      could
      hold
      such
      hostility
      towards
      a
     
     
      furnace,
      but
      as
      an
      English
      major
      I
      have
      simply
      personified
      the
      monstrosity
     
     
      lurking
      in
      the
      shadowy
      depths
      of
      the
      basement
      to
      human
      status.
      I
      hate
      the
     
     
      furnace,
      but
      I
      have
      yet
      to
      tell
      you
      why.
      The
      furnace,
      you
      see,
      had
      an
     
     
      accident
      the
      other
      night
      while
      everyone
      was
      asleep.
      It
      leaked
      some
      oil
      on
     
     
      the
      basement
      floor.
      That
      might
      not
      seem
      so
      insufferable,
      but
      you
      must
     
     
      understand
      that
      the
      house
      was
      built
      in
      the
      late
      1800’s
      and
      the
      basement
      has
     
     
      aclay
      floor.
      Youcannot
      just
      bring
      in
      the
      ShopVac
      from
      the
      garage
      and
      end
     
     
      the
      catastrophe
      in
      a
      few
      short
      hours.
      To
      top
      it
      all
      off,
      the
      night
      of
      the
      spill,
     
     
      there
      was
      also
      a
      raging
      rain
      storm
      in
      Charlottetown
      and
      water
      found
      its
      way
     
     
      to
      the
      basement.
      This
      makes
      the
      cleanup
      effort
      all
      the
      more
      difficult.
      !
     
     
      would
      not
      hesitate
      to
      declare
      a
      state
      of
      emergency
      if
      held
      a
      high
      political
     
     
      office,
      but
      I
      do
      not,
      so
      I
      can
      just
      complain
      in
      a
      free
      weekly
     
     
      instead.
      The
      house
      is
      situated
      quite
      close
      to
      Fanningbank,
     
     
      though.
      I
      wonder
      if
      the
      Lieutenant
      Governor
      has
      4
     
     
      statement.
     
    

    
     
      I
      discovered
      later
      that
      not
      much
      oil
      had
      actually
     
     
      escaped
      the
      furnace,
      not
      enough
      to
      demand
      an
      environ-
     
     
      mental
      review
      of
      the
      neighbourhood
      anyway.
      Sadly
     
     
      enough
      though,
      the
      entire
      house
      smells
      as
      though
      at
     
     
      Exxon
      tanker
      ran
      a-ground
      on
      West
      Street.
      The
      windows
     
     
      have
      been
      open
      for
      the
      past
      few
      days
      and
      the
      enchanting
     
     
      aroma
      is
      dissipating.
      I
      am
      slowly
      washing
      every
      stitch
      of
     
     
      clothing
      I
      own,
      but
      it
      takes
      time,
      so
      if
      younotice
      a
      distinc!
     
     
      Irving-like
      scent
      in
      class
      it
      is
      probably
      just
      me
      sitting
     
     
      there,
      hoping
      the
      prof
      refrains
      from
      lighting
      a
      cigarette.
     
     
      I
      am
      in
      therapy,
      of
      course,
      and
      hope
      to
      come
      out
      of
      this
      experience
      with
      a
      bettet
     
     
      understanding
      for
      home
      heating,
      but
      that
      is
      too
      far
      in
      the
      distance
      at
      the
      momet!
     
     
      to
      tell.
      I
      just
      heard
      the
      spin
      cycle
      end,
      back
      to
      my
      laundry.
      My
      lamentations
      for
      this
     
     
      week
      are
      over.