By
      Peter
      Gillis
     
    
   
   
    
     
      J)
     
    
   
   
    
     
      As
      of
      yet,
      there
      has
      been
      no
      response
      from
      our
     
     
      beloved
      leader
      Chris
      Grey
      of
      the
      Student
      Council.
      At
     
     
      first
      I
      thought
      it
      was
      because
      I
      wouldn’t
      let
      him
      use
      a
     
     
      thesaurus,
      and
      then
      I
      assumed
      he
      was
      just
      busy
      filling
      out
     
     
      the
      paper’s
      sex
      survey.
      However,
      I
      recently
      received
      an
     
     
      e-mail
      which
      may
      explain
      Mr.
      Grey’s
      stoic
      silence.
      He
     
     
      hasn’t
      shared
      his-views
      with
      us
      because,
      well,
      Chris
      Grey
     
     
      is,
      umm,
      not
      our
      SU
      President.
      Kind
      of.
     
    

    
     
      The
      first
      explanation
      that
      popped
      into
      my
      mind
     
     
      was
      obviously
      that
      Chris
      grey
      and
      Chris
      Burns
      are
     
     
      actually
      the
      same
      person.
      (That
      would
      explain
      why
      they
     
     
      are
      never
      seen
      in
      public
      together.)
      Fortunately,
      there
      is
      an
     
     
      even
      weirder
      reason;
      and
      one
      that
      is
      actually
      true.
     
     
      According
      to
      Article
      5,
      By-Elections,
      Section
      4
      of
      the
     
     
      Student
      Union’s
      Constitution,
      if
      the
      position
      of
      President
     
     
      is
      vacated
      after
      January
      1,
      the
      Speaker
      is
      to
      inform
     
     
      Council
      of
      their
      choice
      to
      call
      a
      By-Election
      or
      not.
      Ifa
     
     
      By-Election
      is
      not
      called,
      the
      Vice
      President
      Academic
     
     
      shall
      assume
      the
      duties
      of
      President
      and
      shall
      be
      called
     
     
      Acting
      President
      of
      the
      UPEI
      SU
      for
      the
      remainder
      of
      the
     
     
      relevant
      term
      of
      office.
     
    

    
     
      Now
      here’s
      the
      punch-line
      --
      no
      one
      informed
      the
     
     
      Union.
      They
      just
      picked
      The
      Benevolent
      One
      as
      chief
     
     
      and
      left
      it
      at
      that.
      In
      technical
      political
      terms,
      this
      is
      called
     
     
      a
      no-no;
      and
      it
      means
      that
      a
      debate
      will
      most
      likely
      be
     
     
      held
      at
      the
      next
      meeting
      to
      determine
      if
      a
      By-Election
      to
     
     
      choose
      a
      new
      President
      for
      the
      remainder
      of
      the
      term
      will
     
     
      take
      place.
      I
      agree
      that
      removing
      Mr.
      Grey
      from
      office
     
     
      due
      to
      such
      a
      technicality
      is
      a
      little
      like
      nailing
      Al
      Capone
     
     
      for
      tax-evasion
      and
      that
      no
      one
      expects
      the
      SU
      to
      be
     
     
      familiar
      with
      its
      own
      constitution;
      but
      rules
      are
      rules.
     
    

    
     
      Therefore,
      in
      the
      advent
      of
      an
      election,
      |
      would
     
     
      like
      to
      take
      this
      opportunity
      to
      unrealistically
      announce
     
     
      my
      candidacy
      for
      Student
      Council
      President.
      If
      elected,
     
     
      I
      promise
      to
      do
      absolutely
      nothing
      at
      all.
      I
      will
      endeavour
     
     
      to
      make
      big
      speeches
      with
      big
      words
      that
      actually
      mean
     
     
      little.
      During
      council
      meetings,
      I
      will
      amend
      motions
      to
     
     
      amend,
      pass
      gas
      and
      passionately
      defend
      the
      rights
      of
     
     
      tiger
      butterflies
      to
      mate
      in
      the
      wild
      when
      I
      am
      not
     
     
      doodling
      on
      my
      notepad.
      If
      caught
      doing
      something
     
     
      wrong,
      I
      will
      faithfully
      blame
      the
      people
      I
      represent;
      and
     
     
      I
      will
      spend
      your
      money
      to
      go
      to
      conferences
      in
      large
     
     
      cities
      with
      great
      nightclubs.
      When
      my
      term
      is
      finished,
     
     
      you
      will
      be
      no
      worse
      off
      than
      before
      I
      started
      because,
      in
     
     
      the
      end,
      you
      will
      not
      even
      have
      noticed
      that
      I
      was
      there.
     
     
      That’s
      what
      it
      ali
      comes
      down
      to,
      isn’t
      it.
      Mr.
      Burns,
      Mr.
     
     
      Grey,
      Mr.
      Dress-up
      --
      it
      doesn’t
      really
      matter
      at
      the
      end
      of
     
     
      the
      day.
      It
      should;
      but
      it
      doesn’t.
     
    

    
     
      “A
      vote
      for
      Peter
      is
      a
      vote
      for
      oblivion!!”
      Catchy,
     
     
      but
      personally
      I’d
      vote
      for
      Mr.
      Dress-up.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      @-
      The
      Panther
      Prints
     
    
   
   
    
     
      At
      a
      time
      when
     
     
      students
      are
      starting
      to
      get
     
     
      bogged
      down
      by
      assign-
     
     
      ments,
      tests
      and
      papers
     
     
      another
      factor
      is
      starting
      to
     
     
      affect
      those
      students
      who
     
     
      will
      be
      graduating
      this
     
     
      year.
      Grad
      school
      applica-
     
     
      tions.
     
    

    
     
      Every
      year
      hun-
     
     
      dreds
      of
      students
      panic
     
     
      over
      writing
      their
      GED’s,
     
     
      SAT’s
      and
      PDQ’s.
      (Ok,
      I
     
     
      made
      the
      last
      one
      up,
      but
     
     
      you
      get
      the
      point.)
      I
      myself
     
     
      am
      starting
      to
      get
      over-
     
     
      whelmed
      by
      the
      whole
      grad
     
     
      school
      application
      process.
     
    

    
     
      Not
      only
      will
      it
      cost
     
     
      me
      hundreds
      of
      dollars
      to
     
     
      apply
      to
      the
      three
      or
      four
     
     
      schools
      that
      I
      am
      interested
     
     
      in,
      but
      I
      must
      write
      letters
     
     
      and
      essays
      on
      why
      these
     
     
      schools
      should
      take
      me.
     
     
      Plus,
      I
      must
      find
      professors
     
     
      who
      like
      me
      enough
      to
     
     
      write
      raving
      reference
      let-
     
     
      ters.
     
    

    
     
      One
      school
      would
     
     
      like
      a
      1000
      word
      essay
      on
     
     
      why
      I
      want
      to
      go
      to
      their
     
     
      school,
      my
      life
      story,
      and
     
     
      what
      I
      want
      to
      do
      when
      I
     
     
      graduate
      from
      their
      es-
     
     
      teemed
      school.
      I
      mean
      how
     
     
      can
      you
      fit
      all
      of
      that
      into
     
     
      1000
      words,
      unless
      you
     
     
      were
      to
      write
      the
      follow-
     
     
      ing:
     
    

    
     
      “Dear
      People
      who
     
     
      will
      decide
      my
      future;
     
    

    
     
      I
      want
      to
      go
      to
      your
     
     
      school,
      cause
      I
      hear
      it
      is
     
     
      pretty
      good.
      I
      was
      born,
      I
     
     
      grew
      up.
      When
      I
      graduate
     
     
      from
      your
      wonderful
      school
     
     
      I
      want
      to
      find
      a
      job
      that
     
     
      pays
      $100,000+
      a
      year
      so
      I
     
     
      can
      afford
      to
      pay
      off
      my
     
     
      student
      loan.”
     
    

    
     
      Reality
      has
      finally
     
     
      hit
      me,
      after
      months
      of
     
     
      procrastination
      application
     
    
   
   
    
     
      deadline
      is
      only
      two
      months
     
     
      away
      and
      so
      far
      all
      I
      have
     
     
      filled
      out
      on
      the
      forms
      is
     
     
      my
      name.
      Don’t
      they
     
     
      realize
      that
      I
      am_
      busy.
     
     
      Between
      taking
      three
     
     
      courses
      and
      working
      about
     
     
      40
      hours
      a
      week
      I
      don’t
     
     
      have
      much
      time
      left
      to
     
     
      write
      hundreds
      of
      words
     
     
      that
      won’t
      sound
      like
      bull
     
     
      to
      the
      nice
      person
      who
      may
     
     
      let
      me
      into
      grad
      school.
     
    

    
     
      Perhaps
      the
      univer-
     
     
      sity
      should
      hold
      a
      course
      or
     
     
      even
      seminars
      in
      how
      to
     
     
      apply
      to
      grad
      school,
      how
     
     
      to
      find
      the
      right
      school
      for
     
     
      you
      or
      even
      how
      to
      prepare
     
     
      yourself
      for
      taking
      that
     
     
      next
      step.
      UPEI
      actively
     
     
      recruits
      students
      to
      attend
     
     
      school
      here,
      but
      once
      you
     
     
      arrive
      that
      is
      it.
      You
      are
     
     
      thrown
      into
      the
      ring
      and
      are
     
     
      left
      to
      find
      your
      way
      out,
     
     
      four
      or
      five
      years
      down
      the
     
     
      road.
      I
      have
      tried
      numer-
     
     
      ous
      times
      to
      get
      informa-
     
     
      tion
      from
      Student
      Develop-
     
     
      ment
      about
      grad
      schools,
     
     
      but
      all
      I
      get
      is
      “The
      books
     
     
      are
      over
      there,
      and
      there’s
     
     
      more
      in
      the
      library.”
     
     
      Thanks!
     
    

    
     
      In
      today’s
      job
      mar-
     
     
      ket
      often
      a
      bachelors
      de-
     
     
      gree
      is
      not
      enough
      to
      start
      a
     
    
   
   
    
     
        
     
     
          
     
    
   
   
    
     
      After
      hours,
      join
      the
      crowd
     
     
      We're
      open
      until
      3:00am
     
     
      Fridays
      &
      Saturdays
     
     
      Take
      Out
      Available!
     
     
      Call
      566-2567
     
    
   
   
    
     
      oneal
     
    
   
   
    
     
      career
      with.
      Masters
      de-
     
     
      gree’s
      and
      PhD’s
      seem
      to
     
     
      becoming
      very
      popular,
      but
     
     
      how
      do
      you
      go
      about
     
     
      getting
      one.
      Where
      should
     
     
      you
      apply?
      When
      is
      the
     
     
      deadline?
      Can
      I
      see
      my
     
     
      transcript
      before
      I
      send
      it
     
     
      off?
      How
      do
      you
      work
      out
     
     
      your
      marks
      to
      reflect
      other
     
     
      schools
      grade
      point
      aver-
     
     
      ages?
     
    
   
   
    
     
         
     
    
   
   
    
     
      It
      is
      time
      the
      Uni-
     
     
      versity
      started
      to
      actively
     
     
      send
      off
      its
      students
      to
     
     
      other
      schools.
      If
      UPEI
     
     
      students
      were
      to
      apply
      to
     
     
      the
      top
      grad
      schools
      in
     
     
      Canada
      and
      get
      accepted,
     
     
      wouldn’t
      that
      be
      a
      nice
     
     
      point
      to
      mention
      to
      new
     
     
      students
      who
      might
      be
     
     
      applying
      to
      UPEI?
     
    

    
     
      If
      and
      when
      I
      ever
     
     
      finish
      my
      _
      grad_
      school
     
     
      applications,
      and
      if
      and
     
     
      when
      I
      ever
      can
      afford
      the
     
     
      postage
      to
      send
      them
      off,
      I
     
     
      will
      let
      you
      know
      how
      I
      do.
     
     
      Actually
      you
      will
      probably
     
     
      hear
      me
      yelling,
      “I
      got
      in!
      I
     
     
      got
      in!”
      Congratulations
      to
     
     
      Mike
      Klenavic,
      he
      has
     
     
      already
      been
      accepted
      to
      at
     
     
      least
      one
      grad
      school
      in
      the
     
     
      states.
      (Maybe
      he
      could
     
     
      write
      my
      essays.)
     
    
   
   
    
     
      ae
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Se
      le