SEPTEMBER
      27,
      2005
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Your
      Student
      Union
      Executive
     
    
   
   
    
     
        
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Pete
      Grandy
     
     
      Reporter
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      classes,
      we
      begin
      to
      adjust
      to
      the
      butt
     
     
      load
      of
      work
      assigned,
      check
      out
      the
     
     
      odd
      hottie,
      and
      do
      our
      best
      to
      keep
      it
     
     
      real.
      The
      student
      union
      executive
      not
     
     
      only
      has
      to
      complete
      these
      painstaking
     
     
      tasks
      but
      also
      manage
      to
      operate
      the
     
     
      UPEISU
      as
      well.
      Who
      are
      these
     
     
      marvelous
      saints?
      Why
      they
      are
      none
     
     
      other
      than
      Ryan
      Gallant,
      Shaun
      Coady,
     
     
      Ellen
      Klein,
      and
      Dennis
      Cahill.
      When
     
     
      asked
      “What
      do
      you
      think
      the
      UPEISU
     
     
      executive
      do?”
      student
      Jeff
     
     
      “Junkyard
      Dog”
      Doherty
      responded.
     
     
      “Like
      I
      give
      a
      *beep*,
      you
      ugly
      bitch.”
     
     
      Judging
      by
      Junkyard’s
      response,
      I
      feel
     
     
      the
      student
      body
      should
      be
      informed.
     
    

    
     
      President
      Ryan
      Gallant
      is
      chief
     
     
      executive
      and
      official
      spokesperson
      of
     
     
      the
      Union.
      He
      is
      to
      call
      Executive
     
     
      Committee
      and
      Regular
      Council
     
     
      meetings.
      He
      is
      amember
      of
      the
      Senate
     
     
      and
      the
      Board
      of
      Governors.
     
     
      Performing
      research
      and
      lobbying
     
     
      activities
      as
      may
      be
      assigned
      or
     
     
      required
      by
      the
      union
      on
      behalf
      of
      its
     
     
      members
      are
      also
      part
      of
      his
      duties.
      On
     
     
      top
      of
      this
      he
      is
      to
      fulfill
      25
      office
      hours
     
     
      per
      week
      and
      complete
      any
      other
      task
     
     
      that
      is
      hurled
      his
      way.
     
    

    
     
      What
      does
      Mr.
      Gallant
      think
      of
     
     
      his
      job
      so
      far?
      It’s
      great!
      It
      gives
      me
     
     
      the
      opportunity
      to
      interact
      with
      people
     
     
      and
      bring
      their
      concerns
      to
      council.
      I
     
     
      also
      like
      solving
      the
      problems
      that
     
     
      arise.”
      When
      asked
      to
      comment
      on
      his
     
     
      salary,
      Ryan
      bellowed
      “...it’s
      fair
     
     
      compared
      to
      flipping
      burgers
      or
     
     
      whatever
      else
      normal
      people
      do.”
     
    

    
     
      Apparently
      Mr.
      Gallant
      is
     
     
      unaware
      of
      what
      “normal”
      people
      do,
     
     
      that’s
      not
      to
      say
      he
      doesn’t
      have
      plans
     
     
      for
      the
      students
      of
      UPEI.
      “We
      need
      a
     
     
      big
      voice
      on
      campus.
      Certain
      positions
     
    
   
   
    
     
      aren’t
      taking
      us
      serious
      but
      students
      are
     
     
      a
      crucial
      part
      of
      UPEI.
      We
      are
      working
     
     
      to
      create
      a
      position
      within
      senior
     
     
      management
      that
      represent
      students
     
     
      directly.”
      states
      Gallant.
     
    

    
     
      “Coady
      does
      nothing”
      remarks
     
     
      Gallant.
      Executive
      Vice
      President
      Shaun
     
     
      Coady
      disagrees
      with
      this
      statement
     
     
      “Gallant
      feels
      all
      mighty,
      considers
     
     
      himself
      god’s
      gift
      to
      women.
      The
      truth
     
     
      is
      he’s
      a
      jerk
      and
      dependent
      on
      me.
      I
     
     
      think
      he
      looks
      up
      to
      me.”
      What
      does
     
     
      our
      Executive
      VP
      do
      besides
      inspire
      the
     
     
      president
      and
      run
      the
      show
      when
      Mr.
     
     
      Gallant
      has
      a
      hangover?
      He
      acts
      as
      the
     
     
      liaison
      to
      our
      national
      representation
     
     
      organization.
     
    

    
     
      Along
      with
      the
      big
      cheese,
      he
     
     
      performs
      such
      research
      and
      lobbying
     
     
      as
      may
      be
      assigned
      or
      required
      by
      the
     
     
      Union
      on
      behalf
      ofits
      members
      and
      sits
     
     
      on
      Senate.
      Finally
      Shaun
      assists
     
     
      students
      with
      any
      academic
      appeals
      or
     
     
      other
      academic
      related
      issues
      and
      co-
     
     
      ordinates
      campaigns
      as
      may
      be
     
     
      assigned
      or
      required
      by
      the
      union.
      “This
     
     
      job
      is
      pretty
      slack.
      I
      like
      a
      lot
      of
     
     
      authority...I
      also
      get
      to
      share
      an
      office
     
     
      with
      Kristi
      Kelly
      and
      she’s
      HOT!”
     
     
      states
      Coady.
     
    

    
     
      Vice
      President
      of
      Activities
      Ellen
     
     
      Klein
      was
      half
      flustered
      when
      asked
      be
     
     
      interviewed.
      I
      asked
      her
      how
      her
      job
     
     
      was
      going
      and
      she
      responded
      “1,
      um,
     
     
      (hahaha)
      it’s
      a
      lot
      of
      fn
      and
      I’m
      learning
     
     
      a
      lot
      and
      man
      I
      hate
      interviews....the
     
     
      job
      is
      great
      and
      I
      have
      a
      fun
      time
      doing
     
     
      it”
     
    

    
     
      Mr.
      Coady
      seems
      to
      think
      very
     
     
      highly
      of
      Ellen
      “Brains
      of
      the
      operation,
     
     
      well
      organized,
      and
      up
      to
      date
      with
     
     
      current
      politics
      and
      what
      a
      presence!
      A
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Continued
      on
      page
      18
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      THE
      CADRE
      ©
      6
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Ask
      Mr.
      Advice
     
    
   
   
    
     
         
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Dear
      Mr.
      Advice,
     
    

    
     
      First
      of
      all,
      [
      love
      reading
      your
     
     
      column.
      I
      often
      think
      I’m
      alone
      with
      my
     
     
      problems,
      until
      I
      read
      the
      stuff
      your
     
     
      readers
      send
      in
      and
      realize
      most
      of
      that
     
     
      stuff
      has
      happened
      to
      me
      too!
      I
      never
     
     
      thought
      I’d
      need
      to
      ask
      you
      for
      advice,
     
     
      but
      now
      I
      do...
     
    

    
     
      You
      see,
      I’m
      a
      small
      time
      bookie/
     
     
      bread
      bootlegger
      in
      Brown’s
      Court.
      I
     
     
      take
      bets
      on
      local
      games
      and
      such,
      and
     
     
      then
      have
      a
      full
      featured
      illegal
      bread
     
     
      bar
      in
      my
      kitchen.
      Anyway,
      I
      made
      a
     
     
      series
      of
      bad
      bets
      and
      now
      I
      owe
      Big
     
     
      Joe
      a
      stack
      of
      cash!
      I
      panicked...
      I
     
     
      didn’t
      know
      what
      to
      do...
      He
      was
      going
     
     
      to
      take
      my
      bread
      grill!
      So
      I
      did
      what
     
     
      anyone
      else
      in
      my
      situation
      would
      have
     
     
      done:
      [
      held
      a
      troop
      of
      Girl
      Guides
      at
     
     
      gunpoint
      and
      stole
      all
      of
      their
      cookie
     
     
      money
      (and
      cookies,
      of
      course).
     
     
      Thinking
      [
      hit
      it
      big,
      I
      went
      back
      home
     
     
      and
      hid
      out
      for
      a
      while
      thinking
      there
     
     
      still
      might
      be
      a
      Girl
      Guide
      or
      two
      that
     
     
      has
      to
      get
      her
      “Ass-kicking”
      badge.
      I
     
     
      was
      right.
      Now
      I
      have
      Big
      Joe
      AND
     
     
      the
      entire
      Charlottetown
      chapter
      of
     
     
      Sparks,
      Brownies,
      and
      Girl
      Guides
      on
     
    
   
   
    
     
      whether
      you
      tike
      é
      ox
      aot
     
    
   
   
    
     
        
     
     
        
     
    
   
   
    
     
      a
     
    
   
   
    
     
      my
      ass.
      The
      cash
      I
      stole
      won’t
      even
     
     
      put
      a
      dent
      in
      Big
      Joe’s
      debt.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Yours,
     
     
      Screwed
      in
      Brown’s
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Dear
      Screwed,
     
    

    
     
      WTF.
      Robbing
      Peter
      to
      pay
      Paul
      is
     
     
      never
      a
      good
      idea,
      especially
      when
     
     
      there’s
      150
      Peters
      who
      won’t
      think
     
     
      twice
      about
      killing
      you
      and
      Paul
      is
     
     
      named
      “Big
      Joe.”
      You
      my
      friend,
      are
      a
     
     
      dumbass.
      Here’s
      what
      I’d
      do:
      lock
     
     
      myself
      in
      the
      laundry
      room
      and
      hope
     
     
      they
      slice
      your
      roommate
      thinking
      it’s
     
     
      you.
      Good
      luck
      with
      that
      one.
     
    

    
     
      And
      I
      don’t
      get
      the
      whole
      “illegal
      bread
     
     
      bar”
      thing.
      Is
      the
      bread
      illegal,
      or
      just
     
     
      the
      bar?
      Whatever.
      Hope
      this
      helps!
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Tam,
     
     
      Mr.
      Advice
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Troubled?
      Scared?
      Need
      help?
      Write
     
     
      to
      Mr.
      Advice!
     
     
      askmradvice@gmail.com
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      DOMINO’S
      PIZZA
      NOW
      OFFERS
     
    
   
   
    
     
        
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Delivery
      to
      UPE]
      campus,
      Browns
      Court
      and
      surrounding
      areas
      only.
     
     
      Must
      present
      student
      Lc.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Get
      great
      prices
      on
     
     
      Seon
      a
     
     
      present
      your
     
    

    
     
      UPEI
      student
      i.d.