Wfi” "’" 
     
    
   
   
    
     -page6— h  . flwm‘SWW“  
     
    
   
   
    
     GA celebration that} been ' he 
     
    
   
   
    
     By Robert Bodrog-Goodland 
     
    
   
   
    
     three malaria in the thng  
     
    
   
   
    
     You say you're poor. 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     _____._ ‘ And that's not fair, 
     
     ‘63:}? fig Well I'm middle class, 
     
     27,) * A - . .  t » 6 And I don‘t care. . 
     
     1985 marks the 3001h Anniversary of the birth 0 _ r . ‘ ~ Myfriends are fools, 
     
     one of the greatest musical geniuses of all time: ‘ I ,. 5 .. . v A " , (Like don’t it show?) 
     
     Johann Sebastian Bach. This past summer at th ,_ I ' H. ' ‘ But I'm middle class 
     
     Archives of the British National Museum in London, ‘ '  And they're all I know. 
     
     several authentic Bach manuscripts, thought to have A v if. . ~ Omhe we'ekends 
     
     been lost, were rediscovered by accident, producing .. -’ 7 J What do I do? ' 
     
     almost six hours of music in total that hadn't been r V ' .‘ e ~ _. puke on my Sho‘es. 
     
     performed since the eighteenth century. ‘ " - ‘ Daddy does it mommy too, 
     
     And now CBC Enterprises is poud to offer thes ‘ 1 _ ‘1 r ' - M Werre sucha'bnchen privnedgedfew' 
     
     new-found treasures, updated for the 1980’s as part of " e r , l ,, ‘ ‘ ' I 
     
     its new 88-5000 Series, entitled “Techno-Bach Gold”. ‘ V ._ ’ , , ‘ -- ' ‘ l 35k the Old manr he wmes me 3 Check 
     
     ‘ - _ . ‘ ' g ' ‘ He shugs his arms, says “What the heck"; 
     
     You’ll Get: “Bach in the U.S.S.R. ” , "t V r ‘ So I've always got tons of cash, 
     
     "Bach m yourArmSAgam” . v  .j~ ‘ ~ " r . And enough left over to buy some Hash. 
     
     “GerBach” v . ' Hot damn. I Lead sheltered life, 
     
     “Baby Come Bach ’0 Me” . . . ' - Protected from external strife, 
     
     AM [’19 Imp/Fallow] “BWNde'Ibe’g Rap” And I'll never have to make it in the real world, 
     
     All complied like never Before! With daddy catching whatever life hurls. 
     
     Jlmwnd “4'95 [0' And it don‘t matter that I’m intellectually numb. 
     
     Techno-Bach Gold , 4 
     
     . - Because you don t neet, to be smart 
     
     ( [0 CBC Emerpmes When you're a bourge0ls scum 
     
     P. O. Box 500, Toror n. Ontario - 
     
     9 ‘ M5 W IE6 @ 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     JOHAN N SEBASTIAN BACl-l 
     
    
   
   
    
     dis. 
     
      CBC Stereo 
     
    
   
   
    
     Brought to you by the CBC —— The only crown 
     
     corporation that broadcasts in Stereo. 
     
    
   
   
    
     "This is the story of a typical bourgeois scum 
     
     He had everything — but he never realized how lucky he was 
     
    
   
   
    
     Then he met her. 
     
    
   
   
    
     They hung out together 
     
     They ate lunch together 
     
     They did stuff together 
     
     Then she left him. 
     
     But it didn’t matter, because he found a girl that reminded him or her. 
     
     The British Broadcasting Corporation, in co-operation with Broken 
     
     Heart Productions presents: ' 
     
    
   
   
    
     “I loved you Patty, until ' 
     
     I found Pamela” 
     
    
   
   
    
     starring 
     
    
   
   
    
     Bob Geldoi Goldie Hawn 
     
     and iniroducting Madonna as Pamela 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     3' 
     
    
   
   
    
     nimaaatamac? 
     
    
   
   
    
     Don’t miss this poignant tale of melancholy, misunderstanding, and Madonna gecehtly' confessed She was precocious at _ 
     
    
   
   
    
     y'  birth. 
     
     “Do you know how hard it is to French-kiss with 
     
     ' Pablum all over your face?” the sultry singer sighed. 
     
     a She claims that her primal yearnings became evident 
     
     at the age of 3 1/2 weeks and have increased ever since. 
     
     During Kindgergarten she acquired a Rolling Stones ' ’ 
     
     album and “Satisfaction” became her main agnbition in 
     
     life. 
     
     Although she tries to keep her uncontrollable urges 
     
     under wraps as much as possible, she has been known to 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     middle—class trauma. 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     Rated — LW (long-winded) — 
     
     Kinda like John Stuart Mill’s 
     
     . autobiography, but not as hard to 
     
     i; understand as Immanuel Kant’s 
     
     “Groundwork do the Metaphsics 
     
     ofMorals” ' 
     
    
   
   
    
     appear a little sex-starved on occasion. 
     
    
   
   
    
     “I loved you Patty, until 
     
     gl found Pamela” 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     Coming into your life sometime this Fal/