Stark
      Raving
      Sane:
     
    
   
   
    
     
      On
      Romantic
      Comedies
     
     
      By
      Catherine
      SWEET
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Here's
      what
      I
      did
      over
      my
     
     
      winter
      break.
      For
      fun,
      I
      read
      three
     
     
      books,
      which
      is
      a
      record
      for
      me
     
     
      because
      in
      a
      year
      I
      rarely
      recreational-
     
     
      ly
      read
      that
      much.
      I
      replaced
      my
     
     
      blood
      with
      sugar.
      Finally,
      I
      watched
      a
     
     
      ton
      of
      movies.
      So
      basically,
      I
      became
     
     
      the
      poster
      child
      for
      Sedentary
      Living
     
     
      Magazine.
      It
      was
      gross.
     
    

    
     
      There
      were
      five
      movies
      |
     
     
      wanted
      to
      see.
      Two
      of
      them
      were
     
     
      romantic
      comedies.
      That's
      a
      high
      per-
     
     
      centage.
      Just
      as
      I
      cannot
      stop
      myself
     
     
      from
      enjoying
      pop
      music,
      I'm
      drawn
      to
     
     
      romantic
      comedies.
     
    

    
     
      There's
      something
      so
      cloying
     
     
      about
      them,
      though.
      Beautiful
      people,
     
     
      in
      beyond-their-means
      apartments
      with
     
     
      super-lame
      conflicts
      keeping
      them
     
     
      apart.
      For
      some
      reason
      the
      men
      all
     
     
      wear
      Armani
      and
      the
      women
      have
     
     
      access
      to
      Yves
      Saint
      Laurent
      haute
     
     
      couture.
      And
      the
      couple
      has
      perfectly
     
     
      coiffed
      hair,
      unless
      a
      dishevelled
      state
     
     
      of
      mind
      is
      reflected
      in
      a
      unbrushed
     
     
      mane.
     
    

    
     
      It's
      all
      so
      cookie
      cutter,
      and
      I
     
     
      see
      that,
      and
      I
      still
      keep
      going
      back.
      I
     
     
      think
      I've
      become
      so
      jaded
      after
      falling
     
     
      in
      love
      with
      "When
      Harry
      Met
      Sally..."
     
     
      that
      I
      can't
      even
      conceive
      of
      appreciat-
     
     
      ing
      another
      romantic
      comedy.
      I
      try
      the
     
     
      Tam
      Hanks/Meg
      Ryan
      combos,
      but
      it's
     
     
      all
      for
      nought.
     
    

    
     
      More
      and
      more
      of
      these
      sac-
     
     
      charine
      romantic
      comedies
      are
      the
      yin
     
     
      to
      war
      movies'
      yang.
      I've
      heard
      that
     
     
      all
      the
      fantastic
      movies
      (meaning
      basi-
     
     
      cally
      beyond-chance
      plots,
      that
      go
      as
     
     
      far
      as
      trying
      to
      convince
      us
      that
      Keanu
     
     
      Reeves
      can
      have
      a
      Zen-like
      experi-
     
    
   
   
    
     
      ence)
      coming
      out
      now
      are
      like
      the
      phe-
     
     
      nomenon
      of
      Shirley
      Temple's
      success.
     
     
      It's
      filling
      a
      hole
      in
      society
      where
      citi-
     
     
      zens
      can
      go
      to
      the
      movies
      to
      escape
     
     
      whatever
      ails
      them.
      Are
      movies
      this
     
     
      century's
      all-purpose
      tonic?
     
    

    
     
      I've
      begun
      to
      watch
      old
     
     
      romances.
      Sometimes
      in
      these
      stories,
     
     
      lovers
      don't
      end
      up
      together
      because
     
     
      there's
      no
      way
      it
      would
      work.
      Please,
     
     
      please,
      please
      go
      rent
      "Casablanca"
      if
     
     
      you
      haven't
      already
      seen
      it.
      It
      is
      the
     
     
      most
      stunning
      bittersweet
      ending
      of
      a
     
     
      movie
      ever.
     
    

    
     
      Also,
      if
      you
      want
      the
      snappy
     
     
      writing
      of
      a
      Niel
      Simon
      play
      with
      an
     
     
      early
      Oscar-winning
      performance
      from
     
     
      Richard
      Dreyfus,
      rent
      "The
      Goodbye
     
     
      Girl".
      I
      highly
      recommend
      it.
     
    

    
     
      Here's
      where
      this
      beef
      origi-
     
     
      nates.
      I
      saw
      "Two
      Weeks
      Notice"
      and
     
     
      I
      hated
      it.
      I
      felt
      let
      down
      and
      betrayed
     
     
      because
      hello!
      Hugh
      Grant
      and
      Sandra
     
     
      Bullock-
      how
      adorable.
     
    

    
     
      No.
      The
      writing
      was
      weak,
     
     
      the
      attempts
      at
      comedy
      were
      sad,
      there
     
    

    
     
      ‘was
      no
      chemistry
      and
      there
      was
      a
      stu-
     
     
      pid
      tacked-on
      cat
      fight.
      And
      don't
      get
     
     
      me
      started
      on
      when
      she
      got
      drunk.
      It
     
     
      was
      a
      crap
      piecemeal
      of
      plot
      elements,
     
     
      none
      of
      which
      really
      fit
      together.
      Boo-
     
     
      urns
      on
      "Two
      Weeks
      Notice".
     
    

    
     
      There's
      more
      romantic
      come-
     
     
      dies
      slated
      out
      the
      next
      few
      months
     
     
      and
      I
      know
      I'm
      going
      to
      go
      see
      them.
     
     
      ‘And
      I'm
      probably
      going
      to
      be
      disap-
     
     
      pointed,
      but
      I
      have
      to
      take
      the
      chance
     
     
      of
      finding
      another
      "When
      Harry
      Met
     
     
      Sally..."
      I
      hope
      there's
      one
      starring
     
     
      Luke
      Wilson.
      And
      they
      cast
      me
      oppo-
     
     
      site
      him.
      I
      need
      a
      better
      agent.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
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