VIEWS
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      s
      5
     
    

    
     
      Quality
      time
     
    

    
     
      Joa
      ale
     
     
      Ever
      wonder
      why
      women
      want
      to
     
     
      spend
      more
      time
      with
      their
     
     
      boyfriends
      than
      their
      boy-
     
     
      friends
      want
      to
      spend
      with
     
     
      them?
      I
      have.
      My
      boyfriend
     
     
      and
      I
      are
      constantly
      having
     
     
      this
      ‘‘thing’’
      about
      how
      much
     
     
      time
      we
      spend
      together.
      In
      my
     
     
      opinion
      we
      barely
      meet
      the
     
     
      minimum,
      and
      in
      his
      opinion
     
     
      we're
      spending
      too
      much
      time
     
     
      together.
      So,
      my
      question
      is
     
     
      how
      much
      time
      is
      enough
      and
     
     
      how
      much
      is
      too
      much?
     
    

    
     
      Some
      people
      like
      to
      have
     
     
      people
      around
      them
      all
      the
     
     
      time.
      I
      guess
      I’m
      one
      of
      those
     
     
      people.
      Could
      this
      need
      of
     
     
      having
      people
      around
      all
      the
     
     
      time
      be
      some
      deeply
      rooted
     
     
      childhood
      trauma,
      related
      to
     
     
      being.
      left
      alone
      by
      my
      par-
     
     
      ents,
      so
      that
      I
      feel
      abandon-
     
     
      ment
      whenever
      I’m
      alone?
     
     
      Probably
      not;
      I
      don’t
      ‘remember
     
     
      my
      parents
      leaving
      me
      alone-
     
     
      although,
      since
      I’ve
      reached
     
     
      puberty,
      they
      have
      threatened
     
     
      it
      a
      couple
      of
      times.
     
    

    
     
      I
      have
      a
      friend
      who
     
     
      spends
      all
      of
      her
      free
      time
     
     
      with
      her
      boyfriend,
      so
      much
     
     
      time
      in
      fact
      that
      she
      doesn’t
     
     
      go
      out
      at
      all
      without
      him.
      g
     
     
      She
      can’t
      understand
      why
      on
      a
     
     
      Friday
      night
      we
      would
      want.to
     
     
      have
      a
      girls’
      night
      out
      in-
     
     
      stead
      of
      going
      out
      with
      our
     
     
      boyfriends.
      I
      don’t
      want
      to
     
     
      spend
      every
      waking
      moment
      with
     
     
      my
      boyfriend,
      but
      I
      do
      want
      a
     
     
      regular
      night
      out
      (I
      hope
     
     
      you're
      reading
      this,
      Stephen),
     
     
      to
      the
      movies
      or
      a
      pub
      or
     
     
      renting
      a
      movie.
     
    

    
     
      A
      girl
      needs
      security,
     
     
      she
      needs
      (or
      at
      least
      I
      need)
     
     
      to
      know
      that
      on,
      say,
      Friday
      ~
     
     
      night,
      she’s
      going
      to
      be
      cud-
     
     
      dled
      up
      in
      her
      boyfriend’s
     
     
      arms.
      It
      gives
      you
      something
     
     
      to
      look
      forward
      to
      after
      a
     
     
      long
      week,
      and
      it
      can
      be
      fun
     
     
      to
      plan
      ahead.
      I
      want
      to
      keep
     
     
      the
      spontaneous
      rendezvous
     
     
      during
      the
      week
      at
      each
      oth-
     
     
      er’s
      place
      to
      watch
      T.V.,
      but
     
     
      it’s
      that
      security
      thing
     
     
      again.
      Am
      I
      asking
      too
      much??
     
     
      How
      about
      a
      guy’s
      opinion
      on
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      this?
      Come
      on
      guys,
      I’m
      ask-
     
     
      ing,
      o.k.,
      begging
      you
      to
      help
     
     
      solve
      my
      problem.
      Please
      write
     
     
      back
      and
      help
      me
      solve
      this
     
     
      dilemma
      or
      I
      may
      have
      to
      start
     
     
      looking
      for
      a
      new
      boyfriend.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Waiting
      for
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Mrs.
      Right
     
     
      athe
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Recent
      issues
      of
      the
      X-Press
     
     
      have
      given
      advice
      on
      the
      use
     
     
      of
      condoms
      and
      stressed
      the
     
     
      need
      for
      their
      availability
      to
     
     
      and
      use
      by
      students.
      In
      light
     
     
      of
      the
      fact
      that
      condoms
      are
     
     
      perceived
      as
      necessary
      for
     
     
      high
      schools
      as
      well,
      I
      wish
     
     
      to
      present
      another
      perspective
     
     
      on
      the
      issue
      of
      birth
      control,
     
     
      VD
      protection,
      and
      sex.
     
    

    
     
      It
      is
      assumed
      by
      the
     
     
      promoters
      of
      condoms
      that
      if
     
     
      only
      we
      could
      successfully
     
     
      prevent
      both
      venereal
      disease
     
     
      (including
      AIDS)
      and
      preg-
     
     
      nancy,
      then
      there
      would
      be
      no
     
     
      more
      problems
      with
      sex.
      Sex
     
     
      could
      then
      be
      enjoyed
      by
      eve-
     
     
      ryone
      whenever,
      wherever,
     
     
      however,
      and
      with
      whomever
     
     
      they
      wanted--with
      no
      fear
      of
     
     
      any
      risk.
      This
      assumption
     
     
      totally
      ignores
      the
      fact
      that
     
     
      sex
      is
      at
      its
      best
      only
      ina
     
     
      mature,
      committed
      relation-
     
     
      ship--
      one
      only
      found
      in
      mar-
     
     
      riage,
      though
      many
      married
     
     
      couples
      have
      not
      yet
      developed
     
     
      their
      relationship
      to
      a
      stage
     
     
      of
      such
      maturity.
      Any
      other
     
     
      kind
      of
      relationship
      is
      dis-
     
    
   
   
    
     
      |
      torted
      or
      destroyed
      by
      sex.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Promoters
      of
      condoms
      are
      run-
     
     
      ning
      roughshod
      over
      thousands
     
     
      of
      broken
      hearts
      and
      ruined
     
     
      lives
      by
      denying
      the
      hurt
      and
     
     
      pain
      and
      shame
      felt
      by
      those
     
     
      who
      have
      been
      damaged
      by
      their
     
     
      premature
      sexual
      activity.
      The
     
     
      solution
      is
      not
      a
      campaign
      for
     
     
      SAFE
      sex,
      but
      a
      campaign
      for
     
     
      MARRIAGE--
      the
      ONLY
      PLACE
     
     
      where
      the
      BEST
      and
      SAFEST
      sex
     
     
      can
      be
      found
      (some
      articles
     
     
      about
      such
      sex
      are
      included
      in
     
     
      this
      issue).
      Why
      should
      we
      be
     
     
      told
      to
      settle
      for
      any
      less?
     
     
      Condom
      promoters
      are
      ripping
     
     
      us
      off
      by
      insisting
      that
      we
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      forget
      the
      best
      in
      favor
      of
     
     
      the
      cheap
      and
      easy!
     
     
      Determined
      to
      wait
      for
      the
     
     
      best,
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Sex
      and
      love
     
     
      bd
      e
      1
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Most
      of
      us
      have
      been
      told
      at
     
     
      some
      point
      that
      sex
      is
      best
     
     
      when
      it
      is
      shared
      between
      two
     
     
      people
      that
      love
      each
      other.
     
     
      At
      least,
      this
      is’what
      I
      was
     
     
      taught.
      But
      sex
      is
      sex,
     
     
      right?
      Is
      there
      a
      difference
     
     
      between
      sex
      while
      you
      are
      not
     
     
      in
      love
      and
      sex
      while
      you
      are
     
     
      in
      love?
      Many
      people
      may
      not
     
     
      believe
      so,
      but
      when
      you
      take
     
     
      some
      time
      to
      weigh
      the
      facts
     
     
      and
      think
      back
      to
      your
      past
     
     
      experiences,
      you’ll
      probably
     
     
      see
      variations
      in
      your
      sex
     
     
      life;
      differences
      in
      sexual
     
     
      enjoyment
      with
      someone
      you
     
     
      don’t
      love
      and
      with
      someone
     
     
      you
      do
      love.
      If
      you’ve
      never
     
     
      been
      in
      love,
      you
      can
      still
     
     
      see
      the
      difference
      when
      you
     
     
      compare
      a
      one-night-stand
      to
     
     
      sex
      in
      some
      sort
      of
      relation-
     
     
      ship.
      Whatever
      the
      level
      of
     
     
      caring,
      sex
      is
      usually
      better
     
     
      when
      you
      care
      for
      your
      part-
     
     
      ner.
      This
      may
      be
      obvious
      to
     
     
      INany
      people,
      but
      I
      have
      also
     
     
      talked
      to
      many-~people
      who
      find
     
     
      unattached,
      spontaneous
      sex
      to
     
     
      be
      best.
      It’s
      not
      that
      you
     
     
      can’t
      have
      spontaneous
      sex
     
     
      while
      you
      are
      in
      love
      (often
     
     
      that
      is
      when
      it
      is
      the
      best),
     
     
      but
      sometimes
      people
      like
      the
     
     
      ‘‘no
      strings
      attached’’
      ap-
     
     
      proach
      to
      sex.
      I
      find
      this
     
     
      kind
      of
      sex
      to
      be
      a
      purely
     
     
      physical
      thing.
      When
      you
      have
     
     
      sex
      with
      someone
      solely
      to
     
     
      satisfy
      your
      animal
      instinct,
     
     
      is
      it
      truly
      satisfying?
      It
     
     
      may
      be
      for
      the
      next
      few
      hours,
     
     
      or
      in
      some
      cases
      days,
      but
      how
     
     
      do
      you
      really
      feel
      the
      next
     
     
      morning?
      Is
      the
      person
      you're
     
     
      in
      bed
      with
      one
      that
      you
      would
     
    
   
   
    
     
      -like
      to
      roll
      over
      and
      caress,
     
    
   
   
    
     
      or
      get
      up
      and
      make
      breakfast
     
     
      for?
      Or
      is
      this
      person
      some-
     
     
      one
      you’re
      embarrassed
      to
      be
     
     
      naked
      in
      front
      of?
      Are
      these
     
     
      things
      you
      wished
      you
      had
     
     
      thought
      of
      last
      night?
      What
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      |
      special
      sex
      report
      |