September 27, 1984 page 7 While some have been suggesting that a newly- forged Student Union ad- vocate position be named “Ombudsperson” out of courtesy to women running, candidate Jacinta Gallant doesn’t care how it’s spelled. ' ' “What the position means is more important,” she says, and to her it means a service to students, investigating the validity of students’ ,com- plaints, and working to find solutions; “When problems come up,” says Gallant, “students see themselves as too small to do anything; Once this posi- tion is established and work- ing, they’ll have a chance to voice their problems and sing any praises necessary.” If students choose her on October 2 and 3, Gallant will establish an office somewhere Ombudsbattle Jacinta Gallant VS. Paul Peacock on campus, where she’ll organize and publicize re- gular meeting times once or twice a week for students to tell her what’s wrong. A regular column in the Gem is planned too. She’ll spend the rest of her spare time following up on complaints. Already she’s done research on the hier- archy of UPEI, and plans to spend her first weeks in office getting to know how things are done here. - Gallant has spent a total of one and a half years at UPEI, and contrasts it with a college in San Diego where she spent six months. “They had a lot of admini- strative problems, and it was so frustrating watching it and not being able to do any- thing,” she says, and feels that this, along with a year in “Up with People,” qualifies , her for the position. In “Up with People,” a youth group which tours Canada, the United States, and Mexico as an ambass- ador of good will, students from different countries and cultures collaborate in a series of musical presenta- tions and get to know their host communities. This had made Gallant more concerned with inter— national students’ problems; she thinks diffemtial fees and especially culture shock must confuse them when they first arrive, so that they often do not realize that there is some- one interested in them. “I’m going to hide from the truth,” says Gallant, and thinks the way to change lies in students getting together to do something. Fantastic fables By Dr. Prunesquallor In the land of N’jineareng lived an engineer called‘Nose‘r' ' because he like to stick his nose in other people’s busi— ness. He had a problem and was at a complete loss as to how to solve his problem. Typically, he went to drown his sorrows at the Pit, a place where people become sick or oblivious to have a good time. While drinking at the Pit, he saw an old man who seemed to be in a trance ~—— a mystic! The mystic was lying on the floor, half-conscious, mumbling words ar random. But everyone knows that mystics do this to hide their intelligence. So, Noser asked of the mystic, “What can I do? I can’t get no satisfaction!” (Yes, Noser was a Stones fan. . To prove it, he often got stoned, but that’s another story.) The mystic mumbl , “... get up gotta get up try hard ...” and passed out. Noser thanked the mystic and left him on the floor. He knew what he had to do — climb Mount Duffy and seek The Wise Man. So he climbed. (He was too stupid to take the elevator.) When he reached the top, he found the air thick with haze. This was due to the strange and mysterious li- quids to be found at the Pit. He tripped over The Wise Man, who cursed violently. (It was customary to curse violently after being tripped over.) The Wise Man declared, “Choose carefully, for I will answer only one quéstion per person.” ' “Really?” Noser incredulously. ' _ “Yes! I hope you’re-satis- fied,” cried The Wise Man, for he truly Was wise. Before Noser could react, The Wise Man slipped away asked "'“IS‘JOB I ONE into the nonexistent haze. Crestfallen; Noser climbed back down, oblivious of the elevator. He was so tired that he fell asleep for the rest of the weekend. When he woke up, a psych major diagnosed him as suffering from reality shock although Noser insisted he had a hangover. While the psych major considered the Freudian significance of that statement, Noser left without a second thought (or a first one for that matter). He had‘ found satisfaction at last, or so he thought. In actuality, nothing happened. (What else happens, eh?) The moral of the story is: SOME THINGS ARE BEST LEFT FORGOTTEN. That includes this story for any who might take offense. If you take English, that’s a different story. Until next time, bye! “ACADEMIC QUALITY” ONOCTOBER 23, VoTE V, VOTE MIKE MCCARTHY ARTS. REPRESENTATIVE “The Ombudsman posi— tion is going to be good for students as a whole, especially for those not used to or capable of dealing with the Student Union or ad- ministration one on one.” So says Paul Peacock, who’s running for the newly created SU position. He wants to get students in— volved in decision making at UPEI. “Student apathy is at an all-time high,” says Peacock, adding that if elected, he’ll bring the decision of the SU Council and the administra- tion to students through the newspaper, and take decisive action if the situation calls for it. One thing which angers Peacock is the coupon meal plan system, which “had people eating nothing but Take action. Kraft dinner and pizza last year around exam time, when they shouldn't have to be thinking of food.” He also objects to the extra costs of the food service being subsidized by residence students, and calls this only one of several unsatisfactory aspects of university life students should be protesting. He’d like to see more debate on new residence rules which require guests at Bernadine to wait in‘.the lobby while someone calls the resident’s room on the intercom. Peacock intends to work our of his own room in Bernadine if he has to, but wants the Ombudsman to have an office away from both the Barn and the ad- ministration offices. The candidate says he’ll go to Council, Board of Gover- nets, and Student Disciplinary Committee meetings, and “if I have to, I’ll be belligerent.” As qualifications for the job, Peacok lists his execu- tive — experience with “a youth club affiliated with the Lions Club International”, and says he can deal effect- ively with large groups of students, a result of his “extensive work with the public.” The important thing about the Ombudsman position, Peacock concludes, is that now students will have some- one with “a sympathetic ear” who’ll listen to them and help them with or against the established university struc- ture. Elections take place Tues— day and Wednesday of next week. .‘ “I like the tasteofa cold beeron ahotday, i - . but! certainly don't think youhave to get the gang together with d couple of cases of beer just to celebrate "the fact you've had a bIt of exercise.” JOHN wooo . OLYMPlC SILVER MEDALLIST Health Same er and Welme Been-elm 50cm Canada Canada