1 fb’ DECEMBER 117. 1932* ' ,_ _,JE _ THE_ CI-lARLOTTE;OVVl§I_GUA,RDIAN_7 _ __ 7 _ _ PAQE v » .f .`, e ini," -. -c TU td ii/ tj ty Yr it E35. ,/. tl tt -F 3 _ fl ""‘” 1 ”-%’§2i~’;.”~*l=§."i'*.§’»f.5.§*€”§’-é" \,¢ 7_1 /-A :" _a .I rits' li. ,-4,, \ 'lf 7', 7'! ,; '14,' wr 1,,-JJ, ,_i ' V ‘l" 'V 'V 'V`V V V ‘V V V i 4 ir" r' r-'r"~r”f"r"'r"r"r"fr"°r*rfr°r" 'rw' ' ' ”> “_ "_f,"> ",- », ,"_»,/ f» '.r,,",. _ l *l~*£*£*§*£i£ .- sl.- . f, .:.' _ - .-,' _ - .» -., _. __ .- -/,~ -f <5.. '. ', . ' -‘ -_ -'_ of of os f,.. f,.. f ,f . , if ; ~' ~ »'l» ./ .- _- _ , .- ,» _V ,. .,, _l , 7- "fi 1"- ry ‘ff ‘?' ‘T " "`-' "ff “ 1" ’/‘ '-* 'fr '-1 W '-~ 2' '-»' if '-' '-' ' 4- 'ff '- ‘-"-1,' I 't ‘- 'Hi-is » .<-;.- , - . I I < ~ < i~ ~ - ' - -. ~ . . - - .- ., ,_ ,_ ,` . ’ 1, i, , » is-,.~ _» ,. Q, ‘ 'r » rs is r. .-, ~` .- & ’ ’ c- f, ¢. , _ . .-, N ,_ .` __ ,__ “_ __A £95* 1\“ 'i ` . V./f 1' .»* - /,f 9;. ` it ‘¥ .\,»+ E g V NU B E _R--ByJ. B. w,1LMoTr l'*l__7|___ll1}'f . fe. H* A -<,x>;.v-:_ :Z1 I §°,§;;:iE=:" - '_ _.1/I* J 'l 2 \ ' éiif? " QE;-_ ~'_&;i;? ` \ _ as _. -f_,_§ ' <-=-: _ .» _i ._ 'zjgéf , __ elf" '1` ; i_:_.=` _ ”~>;= -'=~ .;~“` _ _-is \,_ .. JGKESL. Edna; Do you know how to malls peppermint rock? Joan: Yes, sway it gently to and fro. Jack: I say, Dick, have you heard thc news? Dick (eagerly): No. Jack. Jack: Better buy a l>\1l>¢r then. old man, Y0u'il find it all there. The master was testing the know- ledge of his class. Placing l fifty- cent piece on the desk. he Sold harply: What is that? Heads! cr,ed Dick in the front row. Mr. wiggle: Do you know if I can sce over that house; my lad? Piggic: Yes sir. Just hold on to the end of this rocket. I am going -to fire it off! Now boys, said the school in-19045' tor. xs there any question you would like in ask me about lon! m°°l\1” before 1 peas on to the next oiwii Yes, sir, sad Jimmy Jones. How many pclicemen‘s feet does it take to make a Scotland Yard? Sam: What do you think of a man that throws o. banana Skin on the footpath? Snowball: I d0¥1't kUOW- Whit d° you tlrnlg of a banana skin that throws a man on the !0°ti>Bth'i’ History Professor: Define the li/fididle Ages. . Student: They used to be 30 to 4§. now they are 50 to 70. M,-5, smtp; Mari is something like n lol>stci'-- Mrs. Doc: Yes, when he Bets ill thot water he turns red. Sho I seo in thc paper that three people were killed in a feud. He: Those ciicap.1ittle cars are very dangerous. 'ITG lndy |'sitor was chatting with Lttlc Nail. Ilow many others have you, dear? asked the visitor. Three replied Nan. And how many si-tters? Just one, replied Nan. I'm it. ‘ Mummy, the barometer has ill' len! cried Doris. . Much? asked mother. Er-er-yes, quite a little bit. It's broken! said Doris. Gentleman: I saw you playin! with some very rough boys lust now, Donald. Why don't you choose some nice quiet little boys to play with? Donald: Their mothers w0n't let H10. Peter: What makes herx“lH85 feel ill, mummy? Mummy: I dldn't know they over did feel ill, Peter. Peter: Oli, yes, they do. It MTI in this book that _tlioiwands of hor" rings are cured every Y"-‘Y Mother: Why did you run all the way home from school. mink? Frank: I was t\'Y1I!8 to stop W0 boys from flshliliif. mummy! Mother: Oh, who were the boys? Frank: Bob Puneher and mel Teacher: Now, Joyce can you ie" me what a camel 15.? Joyce: Yes teacher, it's like 9, tof- fee o.:\‘¢' it‘s 'wrapped in PIP"- But you musn't sit in itl cried Joan, after she had admired her fi-lent-i's new party frock. Why over not? cried Polly. 1001!' ing very punlcd. Well, you know, was the reply ellk is never sat in (utinl) AN ENIGMA First in cab. but not in cart. Second in stag as well as in hart Third in BTW. but not in blue Fourth in colour, but not in hue Fifth in cream, but not in milk Sixth in lame as well ss in silk. 4 The Honourable Freddy Todding- ton was feeling uneonscionably bor- ed. Two hours previouslyhe had rc- celved a nasty set-back to his en- deavours to interest a certain young lady in his charmsf Even the fact that he was the son of Lord Lan- chester had failed to arouse her to the point where young women, even nowadays, are supposed to know how to bait their hooks. "Well," thought Frcdfilc, HS he raced his car into the heart of Essex, “tliavs ,ine last chance Shes “omg to get. In fllture my dear Dolores, the Honourable Freddy will have other more aPl1€i~1S1DS “Sh 9° fry." The car was a fast piece of me- chanism and Freddy always knew how to handle the fast stuff. The low blue auto, with a nose as long as its tau, zoomed along the black 1-omg that led to Ryecomb Manor needless of everything. The man at the wheel. well-known as a compet- itor at Brooklands, had apparently forgotten that the even the ub0liii0I1 of the speed limit. did not mean that the owner of a racing car could use the country's roads in this reckless manner, But Freddy was past caring for laws. I-le had invited Dolores down to Ryecomb for Christmas and she 'had turned him d0WI\- Nothing else mattered. I-Ie knew he would have a rotten Christmas un- loss something else turned up dur- ing the next three daYB~ , The car swung round a ds.nfl@1'0\1> comer as if it were taking the banking at Brooklands; the white ribbon of the powerful headlamps sweeping the leaf-bare hedgerows for a. second before settling down once again to blaze along the next stretch of road. A miie farther along something happened. The car was mechanical- ly accurate; the road surfncens good as one could expect after all those raids on the Road Fund, nnd Freddy was no great believer in the supernatural. The headlamps, as has been ob- served, were powerful iiiuminants. That is to say they could pick out road objects thrcc or four hundred yards away, and that was what happened. There, dancing about lil the centre of the road, arms stretched eerily above its head, was a figure; whether human or ghost- ly Freddy could ilot tell. It had at perfectly snow-white chest, a black body and legs and a mixture of black and white that might or might not have been its llcnd. Instantly Frcddys foot was rais- cd from the accelerator pedal and transferred promptly to the brakes. For 9. moment the cal' protested nl this curbing of its llutllrnl function; or perhaps the shudder that ran through its steel fl-nine wus because it, too, had seen tho ghostly danc- ing figure down the road. As for Freddy, he was quite certain hc had only had two quite innocuous V alcoholic concoctions nt his club bc- fore setting out. Thcn`lic realized as the car came io il lmlt half R dozen yards from the apparition that it Was 8. man lu at black tail coat and a. boiled shirt. At that dis- tance the headlamps rested midway on that boiled shirt sprcudiiig n large halo such as might with nd- vantage have been used ns all rd- vertisement for immllclllilte inun- dcring. The I-Ion. Freddy was nluioycd as he still sat at the wheel waiting for ‘the spook to perform its next url, He was unaware that a. lunatic usy- lum was in the vicinity, or that fills was a new device of the locnl ron- stabulary for the purpose of, prry- ing on tuisuspectlng motorists. so he waited. Noting that the car had stopped the figure advanced cautiously ut first, then at n brisker pace. Then coming alongside the man peered into Froddy's face. "What’s the big ideal" Freddy demanded. "Rehearslng for it lnuln- mlng party or have you got thi- Phlllivlll training complex?" "If YU" Wm D6-rdon me, sir, would you care to make up U. party for d|m\°l"" H61' lldynhip has been dis- 8=\l¢I\th in DGXI. but not in Neva Eight in June. but 'riot in Eva: L5st,I think you’il find in bggvgr 'rns letters. put by you arlght, A spanish town will bring to ligllt. Answer: Barcelona ‘ Asn 'rms Nr cnnlsnus nine: Hero’s A riddle for you if you'\'e tim! to spare- Whsn's a Christmas pudding like it millionaire? You have lot two answers, but you don't know which Is the right? Well, say one. Yes, "they both are rich!" appointed by _a guest and( she re- fuses to sit down thirteen at table. Il' you could oblige. sir, I assure you her iadyship will be most grateful." For a moment Freddy was foo shocked to reply. The man was ob- viously insane and he had always heard that insane people should be humoured. To flare up, as he felt like doing, might eiisily be fatal, and Freddy did not like belilg a fa- tality. “Now that's what I call real kind of you," Freddy purred; “What lilllc is the meal served?" “In half an hour, sir. Of course, sir, therc's the matter of dressing, to Mr. Frederick Toddy her mind was more composed. It was true that George's efforts at outfltting had been of a. rather generous or- der, nevertheless, Mr. Toddy twhat an absurd name it was, she thought) looked as if he might be a gentle. man and he spoke quite nicely, too, but nowadays with all this mania for education, speech was becoming more and more deceptive as a cri- terion of quality._ Dinner was duly served at _seven o’clock and Freddy found himself, after his introduction to Lady Hei- ena, hurried into the dining apart- ment and pushed, rather than _ /_ I-'rim apparition was 3, man in n black failed coat and boiled shirt. but p<‘l'lll1pS her I.utl_vs"iiip \\'on’t mind that for once." ‘ "And might I be favoured with her l:idyslzlp‘s name?" ' "Certainly, sir, Lady Helena ,Bci- coo!" - Freddy whistled softly. The wills- tle was not intended to be a musical effort. He had heard of Lady Helena before but so far as he could rc- membcr hc had never met the dame. Rigilto, George, I suppose I can park my bus in perfect safety? You may go und anrlounct-'mc to hcl' ladyship as Mr. Frederick Toddy, lately of Lontlon." “Very good, sir. If you will be so kind as to give mc a lift ill youl- cnr I can direct you to the house." The car sprang into life with a surprising roar, and seemed disup- pointed to Find that her ladyship's premises were only it few hundred yards along the road. Iluviilg parked if., securely, Fl°edl|sldcf't°d oplliuili, "She cal'l`t cxpcr; io lzccp cl girl liar: that for ev(-lx What do you _-a_\"?" George was an employer oi' labour. cils- pensed ultll titles. Freddy, fnuliglii the saint: .is did George. Ui collrsc, "Tho Ogre" conldni Ii. wasnt reasonable. I1 wasn't human. “You was h:\\'lng a bit of all right," \v:\,'s Georges next llluniin- ating coliiilicilt. ‘Ill the iilglrilrrok, l means." noting :hu look of inno- cence lli l"1'<-llity. The guc.~i'~: \>t~:.~i il _trrivc aflf-l' dinner and thi-rr: wr: dancing ln lhe library, llluiilzr. 'ti culcflllly sc- lccted progr:iuil'n<-s on the rudio, llelpcd out with nil cqlially well-se- lccted bnlvll of gr.:ivi<\plloiie records. Freddy ntfcllriiul in the bnr set at the end of the dining room and it was not- long lic-lori: he had un op- portunity ol' plwsiiig a cocktail to Rosenlary. Siu :'.:uil-'rl her ,'_'ri~r-!llig_ “How do you like ii?" sllc 'lil- quired. “Bctter tlinn o\'ei'," smiled Freddy.- iirretilrii. "I tliiiik I :-llull drop mv amateur :.t.uu:a :uni tul'll pi't_>if~:? sional." The bar rvfls wi-ll pntronlzed, hui. for the next flour ol' tivo Fl'c'tldy did not llu\'c the pl1‘:\.\ili'e of scl'vili_i_' ltosf°miil'y. Guests were :il°rli.'ili_g nt intervals ‘_lil'ougllollt :hr .‘\'t pilrtlicr she hull lr.id thu: liicliz. lic danced rliviilcly. lir nflruclcil hor ;- ‘~'-. ° ' .'42 1 _ / , . ww _-.sr iv Q ’ _ , _" ig; .. '” 'I' '”_.:;J..f--,-i ` D s. s ‘ ‘_ _eg-.zz ' *Fo* _ ~ 'ff '-ff" __ _» -, _,,-, .- " ~*~ /` ' . ~ 1/,_ ,v-“"" _ What Is tlhristlllas 'l`llc lnbflcc of cartil. . - . Mtfclwi fi-il of ll-.iiilipir . » .. 'File spring licic of Chi'..llu;. liupc. . . - Cement to uillze broken iuin;;l@5, ~ » . The glorious b..i'1.lida3' of inc K_ng of Kings. » » » The rising day of the sur. of Rlghteouslless. ' . ~ » Times romndel- of il. ;,_@d ones gout- deft/le. . . s Tile londstonc vtll.ch .itlrncts inanl' 11 Dwdlgal ',o hi.-, _'ather`s lic/use. . » - _ Tile sun wlllcll inay lE_.i\\ _-_.mo d1'0i'>S from even it mise: _. heart. ~ » - The doll: n'h.cll carrie., tile olive branch oi'.'Peaec ou earth lo our families' I U O An annual visiff.-r who has a warm 5\<‘2H'i. tllullkli its head iii- <1-r»‘.t'iic-d with n garland of snow. . ~ - The focus wlllIi:~.l.ill_\' happy to the iilgi<'iiook_ ’1`lla lll`.l\‘i~:'.\lll joy oi Cili'.sihl.i\ I' ccrluililv \\.ii~_drl'lill. We rule =: bells when pl-iln~e'.s :ire borli_ -ii ;~ a mournful dlruc llliiiii mon' lmi_i pass away. Nallolis liure their loti- Mciilizrllllc. illli.ln»\\ll f.. tin- litul- |.~`m. dm,-_<_ m,.,,- ¢._,,,,,._»,,<,_,~ and 1, __ olli-.iliiv I~`li~|,',_\ ,l.._ qi. .,' \;;.y,\|-,»,l\ <1.. 1;; rd flu* liopr .lili uint il hop. ~ Rus.-Mui_\' :rff:.irl le. Mr. Prollu-l'u hurl ll..~' uliit:i',i.ul” l'-‘l, Ili-i lvl! lii\'ll '. 4 I ii _ . ' .1 !lii\ \\'oi'ill-i\l<|~ i.vii‘\lii'! l'»'-ii=il.|- n i of the tnlcidaliz nor oil: of 1’ 2 llourt. of the world.--Aiioii. ff "' " §&§&z% ff ff .P ` -ff' E fi fi 1 z`\ i ,ft 7; f. ;` f. ft 1`t Vi `i ‘1 I #Fi 5;? flr-_ay %i . 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