Ihad
      big
      plans
      to
      study
      all
      day
      Saturday,
      but
      as
      fate
      would
     
     
      have
      it,
      Saturday
      just
      wasn’t
      meant
      to
      be
      a
      day
      for
      intellec-
     
     
      tual
      enhancement
      in
      the
      field
      of
      economics,
      which
      I
      now
     
     
      regret
      ignoring
      all
      weekend.
      Saturday
      was
      more
      of
      a
      day
      to
     
     
      sit
      around
      with
      a
      couple
      friends,
      drink
      International
      House
     
     
      coffee,
      and
      discuss
      world
      affairs.
      I
      am
      about
      to
      tear
      down
     
     
      that
      cosy
      setting
      as
      quickly
      as
      I
      built
      it.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      tion
      to
      the
      fact
      that
      Casey
      has
      not
      aged
      in
      well
      over
      twenty
     
     
      years.
      This
      surely
      distorts
      the
      concept
      of
      reality
      for
      an
     
     
      impressionable
      five-year-old.
      I
      do
      not
      recall
      Casey
      receivin
     
     
      an
      education
      and
      he
      lived
      in
      a
      tree
      house
      in
      the
      back
      yard,
     
     
      only
      being
      allowed
      in
      for
      the
      night
      if
      he
      had
      a
      valid
      excuse.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Was
      Mr.
      Dress-Up
      a
      single
      parent?
      Was
      he
      even
      related
      to
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      We
      were
      in
      the
      Pit
      --
      hardly
      the
     
     
      cosiest
      place
      campus
      has
      to
      offer
      --
     
     
      along
      with
      four
      or
      five
      other
      work-
     
     
      weary
      and
      uninspired
      students
      who
     
     
      had
      also
      drained
      themselves
      both
     
     
      physically
      and
      mentally.
      We
      were
     
     
      drinking
      the
      usual
      variety
      of
      soda
     
     
      pops
      (I
      give
      only
      one
      free
      endorse-
     
     
      ment
      per
      article),
      and
      to
      a
      certain
     
     
      extent
      were
      discussing
      world
      affairs.
     
     
      The
      importance
      and
      mentality
      of
     
     
      these
      affairs
      is
      the
      key
      to
      all
      this,
     
     
      but
      I
      must
      say
      it
      was
      a
      definite
     
     
      departure,
      whether
      welcome
      or
     
     
      unwelcome,
      from
      the
      usual
      topics
     
     
      ranging
      from
      the
      Mastrict
      Treaty
      to
     
     
      the
      purpose
      of
      the
      Preston
      Manning’s
     
     
      of
      the
      world.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Finrgan,
     
     
      C0g-t
      ha
     
     
      didn't
      bark
      jmivicnise.
     
    

    
     
      44S
     
     
      whispered.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      mysterious
      man
     
     
      without
      a
      first
      name
     
     
      These
      are
      many
      of
     
     
      the
      questions
      little
     
     
      Danny
      might
      deman
     
     
      to
      be
      answered
      by
      th
     
     
      almighty
      CRTC.
      We
     
     
      should
      all
      be
      thankf
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Casey?
      Who
      was
      thi
     
    
   
   
    
     
      program
      that
      is
     
     
      threatening
      to
      un-
     
     
      ravel
      the
      social
     
     
      tapestry
      of
      this
      grea
     
     
      country.
      We
      can
      onl
     
     
      hope
      future
      genera-
     
     
      tions
      may
      be
      saved
     
     
      from
      this
      program
     
     
      bornoutofpure
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      This
      day
      our
      discussion
      focused
      on
     
     
      Dan
      Quayle.
      Now,
      I
      know
      you
      are
      questioning
      as
      to
      why
      I
     
     
      deemed
      this
      man
      (I
      hope
      this
      word
      usage
      won’
      t
      lead
      to
      the
     
     
      downfall
      of
      a
      gender)
      to
      be
      an
      unusual
      subject.
      I
      do
      realize
     
     
      he
      certainly
      is
      not
      arare
      conversation
      top,
      but
      it
      was
      the
     
     
      context
      in
      which
      he
      was
      used
      that
      gave
      the
      discussion
      a
     
     
      decidedly
      Canadian
      twist:
      whether
      or
      not
      vice
      president
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Quayle
      has
      ever
      been
      afforded
      the
      pleasure
      of
      viewing
      CBC’s
     
    
   
   
    
     
      ‘Mr.
      Dress-Up.’
     
    
   
   
    
     
      ‘Mr.
      Dress-Up.’’
      The
      name
      alone
      brings
      to
      mind
      for
      count-
     
     
      less
      twentysomething’s
      thoughts
      of
      childhood,
      of
      growing
      up
     
     
      in
      the
      70’s,
      of
      Finnigan
      --
      the
      dog
      that
      didn’t
      bark,
      just
     
    

    
     
      whispered.
      Enjoy
      this
      masterpiece
      while
      you
      can,
      for
      once
     
     
      Mr.
      Quayle’s
      children
      teach
      him
      how
      to
      use
      the
      satellite
     
     
      dish
      and
      he
      catches
      a
      glimpse
      of
      Canadiana,
      it
      will
      be
      good-
     
     
      bye
      tickle-trunk.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      There
      are
      a
      number
      of
      complaints
      Quayle
      might
      bring
      to
      the
     
     
      public
      eye
      and
      I
      really
      don’t
      think
      Aunt
      Bird
      has
      the
      ambi-
     
     
      tion
      of
      Murphy
      Brown
      to
      retaliate.
      After
      all,
      she’s
      no
      spring
     
     
      chicken
      (sorry,
      Icouldn’t
      resist).
      Quayle
      might
      bring
      atten-
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      conspiracy
      to
      twist
     
     
      the
      ideals
      of
      conservative
      family
      values.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      All
      of
      this
      is
      being
      said
      with
      the
      assumption
      that
      the
      trials
     
     
      and
      tribulations
      of
      Casey
      (last
      name
      Dress-Up?)
      would
      not
     
     
      be
      deemed
      too
      challenging
      for
      the
      vice
      president.
      Just
      mak
     
     
      sure
      that
      before
      it
      is
      hauled
      off
      the
      air,
      sit
      down
      with
      som¢
     
     
      close
      childhood
      friends
      and
      experience
      the
      half-hour
      com-
     
     
      mercial-free
      show
      that
      moulded
      our
      generation
      into
      the
     
     
      corrupt,
      careless,
      selfish,
      and
      angry
      one
      it
      is.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      I
      would
      like
      to
      thank
      my
      colleagues
      for
      joining
      me
      in
      the
     
     
      discussion
      that
      prompted
      my
      writing
      of
      this
      article
      --
      a
     
     
      discussion
      that
      would
      rival
      those
      of
      the
      McLaughlin
      group
     
     
      anyday,
      not
      to
      mention
      the
      sauna
      chats
      at
      the
      beginning
      of
     
     
      “*Sisters.”’
      '
     
    

    
     
      Until
      the
      next
      time
      I
      decide
      to
      share
      moments
      from
      my
     
     
      personal
      life
      with
      you,
      the
      reader
      of
      this
      free
      publication,
      !
     
     
      will
      leave
      you
      with
      one
      question
      sure
      to
      challenge
      the
      ne
     
     
      conservatives
      of
      the
      world:
      What
      was
      with
      Sinead
     
     
      O’Connor’s
      shredding
      frenzy
      with
      the
      Pope’s
      pic
      on
      SNL?
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Se
      +
     
     
      29,
      y
     
     
      enna