THB GUARDIAN , CHARLQTTETOWN PRINCE EDWARD D, APRIL 3°» |994 ' 3 l Lllll-B'-lli’l if E lllil. “TOUGH” In conversation recently. 5 8°Ui»1¢“““ inquired of a talented citizen if Islanders gan"-ally appreciated a_joks. It all de- ends, replied the citizen. My experience ‘ 2,.. been ir ian inks is a good one. lt will pass, unnoticed, and die a natural death. *Q *Y “OATMEAL LEADING."_ ln the Breakfast food go as you please contest, oatmeal is still a strong favorlre. Senator \Vark of Fredericton, now ai tend- ing the session at Ottawa is Canada‘s grand old man. He was horn over 100 years ago and attributes his good health to oatmeal porridge every morning. (Znd PRIZE POEM.) (‘,i-ups nuts, Postum food and Orange meat He leaves for others to digest, Quaker oats and Pellljohus treats. Our Mr. Wark finds oatmeal heat. '1‘bers's Cream of Wheat, Malt Break- Food, Jim Dumps his “Forcel’,a_nd Sunny Jim Are advertised as being good, But oatmeal is good enough for him. \€\€ AT THE WOMAWS CLUB. “Who is that woman who just read a paper on the servant girl problem 9" “Thai/s Mrs. Binks." “Its a sort of hobby of bers, lan t it i" “I believe so." "She speaks authoritatively, as if she kuew.” , “She say s she does." “I notice she said that no one need be without proper service, lf they only went at it right." “She's always saying that." “l’d just like to ask her if she never has been without a cock or a maid." “It wouldn't do any good.” “Why not l" "She never has been." “Are you sure T' "Posltive.“ “Well, she certainly lsza remarkable woman. How do you explain it T' "She has always lived at a hotel." \€ \€ NO TACT AT ALL. Bates-That nephew of yours called me a blackguard. Yates-Just like Ben; no tact about the boy. I've always told him that the trul h was not to be spoken 0u_ all occasions.- Stray Stories. \€ \€ A TRUE BILL. Four of the sweetest words in the English Lxnguage. Enclosed please find cheque. ‘Q \€ TRY AND PLEASE EVERYBODY. The Grand Millinery openings recently in our city have cheered and delighed the hearts of the fair sex. The stcrner sex, will be pleased to have ‘ a grand re-open-- ofthe newly painted Post Oiilce. \Vhen may we expect this treat? ‘C7799 Cures Grip and COLDS Humphreys' Specifics cure by acting dl- rcctly on the sick parts without disturb- ing the rest of the svaiem. No CURES 1. Fevers, Congestlons, Inilarnmation.-=. 2.\Vcrms,Worm Fevcr,or Worm Disease’ 3. Oollc, Crying and Wakefulne.-is of Infants. 4. Diarrhea, of Children and Adults. 8. Toothache, Faceache, Neuraigla. 0. Headache, Sick Headache, Vertigo. 10. Dyspepsla, Indlgestlou, Weak Stom- ach. 14. Salt Rheum, Eruptlons, Erysipclae. 15. Rheumatism, or Rhumatic Pains. lil. Fever and Agua, Malaria. Z). Whoopiug Cough, Spasmodlc Cough. 27. Kidney Disease, Gravel, Oalculi. 30. Urinary Incontinence, Wetting Bed. At Drugglsts, llil cents each, or mailed. Cloth Bound Book mailed free. Humphreys’ Med. Oo , Oor. William Bc John Streets, New York. Before you buy your spring suit just have a look around and find out where you will get the latest goods, the nohbicst styles. the best fit and workmanship. When you find this out you can easily decide. just drop into the new tailors and you will ,get just what you are looking for. All our goods are new and up-to-date. Our prices are moderate. ` MCDONALD & PERRY, ‘ 'I'heNohby Tailors, The scene that will take place this afternoon when the last session cf the Island will come to an end. . = »r‘..if-l.f"L’:<.‘, 4. :-“‘. _ _.QE 'THE CLOSING OF THE PROVINCIAL LEGISLATUIKEJI 34th, Parliament of Prince Edward Hoo. Mr. Peters said the petition had been brought to him this morning. He would see that the contract was carried out properly and lf not it would he given i to another. Hon. Mr. Cummlskey said a suitable boat would have to bc given or else an~ other would he provided. The contract could be seen at the office. Hon. Mr. Peters tabled the petitions and the lists of the pupils in Stra'hoona School referred to yesterday. Mr. Arsenault asked the Commissioner of Public Works if he has had a report of the had condition of a certain bridge on a road called the Tommy Coil reid on Lot 13 Prince County, lnspecror for same R. A. McDougall. Mr. Arsenault raid the bridge was in a very bad condition and some time ago a man was nearly drown- ed. lion. M. Cunirniskey said he had no report of this bridge. Hon. Mr. Richards who sat alongside of hiin well looked after the interests of his district in which this bridge was. Hon. Mr. Richards said bc had heard of the bridge some time ago arirl ilioughtit had been repniroi. l-Io had every con- fidence in thc inspector of the district. ln moving the llouse inio Committee on an Act to further .niienil the Absent GO(`D FOR AN I. O. U. When a friend tells you an old joke, laugh as heartily as if you had never heard il. before. You may want to borrow money of him some day. \€ *Z A RADILYM DREAM. The marked price of commercial radium ‘ on Tuesday last was $8,~l(l0,0(l(l a pound, on Weclriesilrry it hurl ri.-lvanced tc $l2,00il,- 000and at the cl me of business was still rising. Suppose one should set out oven rriocler- ately to trade in radium with, say not more than ten pounds iii stock, and that the price should continue to advance in the same ratio for the next year, the showing woulil br: Capital, ten poririiis of rarliuni at 8i2,000,0Il0 l2\i,000,il00 Prnflta for one day -i~.£,Uili),0Ofl Profits for one month l,2ili),Ull0,iil\(J Profits for one year l5,l20,00(l,U(lil The average radium dealer, it will he scern, could make .lohn D Rockefeller look like a tramp ata free lunch counter. Radlum’s the thing. Get some. *Q ‘Q AS USUAL. In the spring the poets spring The tnings they have in s ore; And when theyre sprung we plainly ses That they'va been sprung before. *Y *Q WHAT THEY THINK OUT WEST. (Denver Post.) An exchange says a Boston woman fell on the sidewalk and broke one of her legs. Rldlculousi There are no legs ln‘ ~ “THERE ARE OTHERS" When you can't have your own way. earning a halo. Boston. Limbs are used exclusively. | dou'tposs as a martyr at the stake,' minute or memorandum con taining the name, trade etc ofthe person or the loeallry where such property or estate situated. The House went into committee of the whole with Mr Godkin lo the chair. , Progress was reported and leave asked to sit again. l Hon George E Hughes pre-rents-l the report of the Provincial Librarian which was adopted. An Act lo furilrer amend an Act for the Appointment of Siipendiary Magistraics for the different counties in the Province was referred to committee of the whole with Dr Douglas in the chair. The ‘Jill is for the purpose of providing for the carrying on of proceedings begun in case of death, resignation or other re- moval of any Magistrate. Mr Morson thought the act might lead to confusion as it would come into collis- ion wirh the proceedings taken under the Criminal Code. After further discussion progress was reported. An Actin further amend an Act respect- ing the legislature was referred to com- mittee of the whole with Mr Gallant in the chair. The hlil is for the purpose of preventing dual representation by providing mn; going to" pay a note, when it goes to pro- test; who are “j ust going to" helpa neigh- bor, when he diss; who are “just going \o" send some flowers to a sick friend, when it proves too late: in fact, they are “just going to" do things all their lives, but never get them started. “To he always intending to live a new life, but never to find time to set aboutit," says Tlllotson, “ls as lf a man should por. oil' eating and drinking until he is starve-l ro death." BN B\ CHASE FOR FAME. Ah, fame is dear to men, Or what for fame still passe.-r, \Vhlch ls, in brlcf, to get One`s name before the masse si. And of the fates beseech lt' For fame men do and dare, For fame men rise and soar Like eagles through the air, And fall to soar no more \q \< BURIAL OF A GIANT. It took fourteen men, with special tackle, to lower into the grave at Preston. recently the body of Jesse Amos Baker, who, in his time, claimed to be the heavi- est mau in the world,says the London Ex- press. Balrer, who was professionally known as “Big Billy Bonne," was a native of the *QW Plan pleasant surprises for people. Look bright, hum little tunes to yoursclf when working. Wherever you feel blue send l ONLY EXECUTED l.\!'l‘ENTi0NS C0i.'N'i‘ The paving of thc road lon very un- comfortable place is said to be composed of good intentions. Nowhere else ies this maisrla' been iried for paving. though it is plentiful enough to use for almost any purpose. We all know people whose houses burn when they are “just going to" insure; who loaea cow or ri horse when they are “J ust going tc" mend _ Great George Street, Am-ll rr dw tl the fence or close the gate; who are “just H United States, and had been exhibited all over Europe and America. He died in the inilrmary at Blackburn last Friday from eryslpelas and fatty degeneration cf the heart. aflower or writea note tn aomeboi y.‘ Until the bnii rings ist ns be grind child-, The fellowlns are some of his propor- nu, ~ (M. D. Bascocic.) °l°“" . Q( wg i weigiri...., ...,.sssii»s. UI(- Helghin... . Waist..... . ....78lns. Neck........................ Ninn. Ohast................. .._,___ fl0ina, The grave was the largest ever made ln Pres on. lt measured over 'lft. in length, 4 ft. Bin. in width, and l2lt In depth. The pitchpina codln was 7ft. long and 3 ft. 2 in in width. Baker, who was thirty-sight years of age, was a man of pleasing manners. lle had intended shortly to return to America a here he had proierty. ' riiif. Liioisi/iiivii ASSEMBLY. ‘ Debtors Act i873 and Acts lu 1mend|:nent| any person holding the position 0 THURSDAY April 28' ithereof Hon Mr Peters explained that the I Mayor nr City Councillor or of Commis- H°“5° met' “U 113°' lblll was to place an absent debtor judg- sloner of Sewers and Water Supply in Mr. M.-rthieson asked if a petition had mem on ,he same gouging as ,my Qgher any incorporated City or Town ln this been l‘€00lV2d lebtdfdlllil UW bm 5"““~’ ijudgment by causing to be filed with the Province, shall riot be ellgrihlef to nomlf; - t ea °f me C'“`dll"‘“ f""`-7' lProthonotary of the Supreme Court a I nate and c iniizsr any clec on or a s feither ln the Legl lative Assembly of this Pro- vince; . or shall any person be eligible to sit or foie iii the said Legislative Assem- bly du ing the time hc holds such posi- tion oi M ry or, City Councillor or Gom- m‘s¢iori» i' or Sewers and Water Supply as aforer id.'l`h-= other clause was for the pur- pose of auiorr-iiriir the oath for Councillor to mr ct the qualification of free hold tenure. Mr. Msihiesoii protested agnir si. the principle of the act which he claimed would fhur, many of thc best men out of the corporations.: Hon. Mr. lflughris clcieuded the hill which lr.» r; .nieiiried was approved of by the clriz ir-_ l’.iliiic.~ has to some rx ent come ii,i..i rirrr' citv council airil this act Wm 5., ,, "ph iii wipe thai r>u'. I-lcu e adjnirr-neil ati c`ci..r~k. DR D(Jl`GiAS Deputy Spi aker of the Provincial lieglsl lil] T8- ., y .___ I .fi *-5. .f-_'13' ' U I9"-";"Q <` THE MARRIAGE QUESTION. The professor who announced that " love and romance die out with the sound of the weddrn -bells," was the first to start the ball rolgn . It would seem a brave woman who marrfes with this echo in her ears, yer we have not heard that there were fewer marriages during the year. There are un- hapgy married liven, hut a lar e precente e U 289 unhappy homes are due fo the iTl- kas of the wi e, mother or daughter. During a long period of practice. Doctor Iierce found t at a prescription made up Cntlrcly of roots and erbs without the use of alcohol, cured, ninety-el ht per cent. of such ones. After using Sill remedy for many years in his private practice he pu: it up in a form that can be had at any store where nydicinea are handled. Back: up by over a third of a century of remarkable and uniform cures, a record Inch an no other remedy for the digging; and weaknesses peculiar to women ever attained, the proprietors and makers of Dr. Pi¢rce's Favorite Prescription now feel fully warranted lu offerin to pay ,gn in legal money of' the United States, or any case of Leucorrhea, Female Weakness, Pro- lapaus, or Falling of Womb which they can. not cure. All they ask is a fair and reason- able trial of their means of cure. Dr. Yierce’s Favorite Prescription cures headache, backaehe, nervousness sleep. leaiineas and other censcqirrnrca bf wom- anly disease. "Favoiite Prescription' ma el weak women strong and sick worn. err well. Accept no substitute for iii.; medicine which works wonders for wen women. "A wlsirf-I na.. | y ` ;‘~`\-'Q , . i \ -v." 7"* Awqqrrvhzi. t vi :.;”{'.*" 9 » »' ="' if -i I -`~g1_§»i>`,=,,'_,.’., ,1 _ i I A .. . i -L_ Q You Owe it to Yourself to Find Out at Once. Dlseased Kldneys Cause Fiore Sickness and Serious Complications Than Any Other Disease. “_Tliree yr-urs ago, while gunning, I fiiiiililr-rl iiitriu slrr-'iirn rrrirl \\'ris uct to ilie skill, 'l`lil: \\l~iitliui’ \\':i:r iris in-iii :iii-iii ii . »~ iiiriiii lrs with- rilit. rriiir-F, sill iifi ~l rr l.._irl»r~iii ciircrl, He had suffered for ici: years witg kidney and bladder disease, and six hotties of Sale Cure had entirely cured him. [ liiir§irro\it.1.Lriioiiilr, wlrcii I ciitircly ri-r~o\'r-rcrli I cannot spvuk iriu liiglily nf Sirfii (‘riri', irnfi I lizive r<-viiiiriricnilcd it to rio less Lliuri I dozen of my friciids, all iii' wliriiri rr-cr-ivr-rl just as grnni ri:~ri|is as I.” \\'lI.l.lA.\l .\lr-I.r\l‘lillLl.\'. iT1i‘.J S. lllili St., l’liilnill-ipliiii, Pri. Many siicli riiisoliriir-il lr-tiers iirc received rlally from gratclul mcii iiiirl wurncri who have been cured by \\'i.\rir<~r’s Siifc l'rirv. Thousands ol Men and Women Have Kidney Disease and Do No! Know it Until I! Has Devel- wed into Bladder Trouble, Rheumatlsm, Dlaheles, or lirlghfa Disease, Which Will Prove Fatal il ct Attended lo Immediately. PAINS IN THB SMALL OF THE BACK, piriiifiil passing i»l` iiriiie, irillnmmutiori of the lilirrlilcr, toriiici liver, cloirily ririiir-_ »-.riiis iii tire baclr of ilu: licriil and ncck,rlicr1- riiulic pains nriilswcllirigs all rirvr ilrv burly, oczniriu arid jnrirrilil-i-, ii-ll you your kidneys are “SAFE 0llllE” llll|lES VIEIK KIDNEYS. If. pririlics and strengthens thc- lriilricys ziiirl r-iriiblvs tlu-iii tcrlo tlireir work; it will curo rlieiririiiiisiii, rlicriiiiaiicgniit, rlirrbcics, liriglir/s rli:~r-rise, uric iicirl priisoii, iriflariiriiation of llic liinrlilvr iriiil \1i'iiiiri'_\' rirgiriis, iriiil rinsioru tire p:rticnt`s health aiirl vigor. | Szrfc (lure is purely vi-i;i>lulile urid coiiiiiiiis rm iiirrcoiic or lin.rrr\i`iil drugs. It is Treo from serlirricrit rind plcnsiirit to take. At all drug stores, or rlirr-i-t, $1 n bottle. _ REFUSE SUBSTITUTES AND IMITATIONS. They are worthless and often exceedingly dangerous. Ask for Warn¢r’x Sale Cure; it will cure you. W`ARNER‘S SAFE PILLS move the bowels gently mid oirl a specify cure. TRIAL BOTTLE FREE. ‘ To convince every siiiir-rer from diseases of the kirlm-rs, liver, lilriilrlvr and blood, that \\'oriier's Safe (Sure will cure thorn, u trial bottle will be sont rrl»=..»iiit<.,~l-i I.r\uibai'