18
     
    
   
   
    
     
      -’
      The
      Panther
      Prints
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Confesssions
      of
      A
      20
      Year
      Old
      Virgin
     
    
   
   
    
     
      by
      Marko
      Peric
     
    
   
   
    
     
      I’m
      tired
      of
      people
      talking
     
     
      about
      sex.
      I
      know
      this
      looks
      a
      little
     
     
      out
      of
      place
      in
      a
      sex
      supplement,
      but
     
     
      it’s
      true.
      Someone
      once
      said
      that
      the
     
     
      Victorians
      pretended
      that
      sex
      didn’t
     
     
      exist,
      and
      the
      modernists
      pretend
     
     
      that
      nothing
      else
      exists.
      As
      a
      twenty
     
     
      year
      old
      virgin
      on
      a
      university
     
     
      campus,
      I
      tend
      to
      agree.
     
    

    
     
      Being
      a
      virgin
      is
      to
      be
      part
      of
     
     
      a
      minority,
      and
      rather
      quiet
      minority
     
     
      at
      that.
      After
      all,
      no
      one
      boasts
      in
     
     
      the
      locker
      room
      that
      they
      haven’t
     
     
      had
      sex.
     
    

    
     
      This
      raises
      the
      question
      of
     
     
      why
      I
      haven’t
      had
      sex,
      and
      don’t
     
     
      plan
      to
      in
      the
      near
      future.
      It’s
      not
     
     
      that
      I
      made
      a
      conscious
      decision
      one
     
     
      day
      not
      to
      have
      sex
      outside
      of
     
     
      marriage.
      I
      was
      raised
      to
      believe
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Urban
      Legends—
      Kill
      Your
      Television
     
    
   
   
    
     
      that
      people
      should
      not
      sleep
      with
     
     
      each
      other.
      So
      far,
      I
      haven’t
      come
     
     
      up
      with
      any
      reason
      to
      question
      this
     
     
      policy.
     
    

    
     
      From
      all
      I’ve
      seen,
      having
      sex
     
     
      outside
      of
      marriage
      causes
      more
     
     
      problems
      than
      it
      could
      possibly
      be
     
     
      worth.
      There
      are
      STDs,
      which
     
     
      range
      from
      minor
      irritants
      to
      fatal
     
     
      diseases.
      Many
      are
      incurable.
     
     
      Using
      a
      condom
      can
      reduce
      the
      risk
     
     
      of
      contracting
      these
      diseases,
      but
      no
     
     
      piece
      of
      latex
      is
      anywhere
      near
      100
     
     
      percent
      effective.
     
    

    
     
      There
      are
      other
      reasons
      not
      to
     
     
      have
      sex,
      such
      as
      unwanted
     
     
      pregnancies
      and
      religious
      reasons.
     
     
      The
      big
      one,
      though,
      is
      emotional.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Having
      sex
      with
      someone
      is
      about
      as
     
    
   
   
    
     
      intimate
      as
      a
      relationship
      gets,
      both
     
     
      physically
      and
      emotionally.
     
     
      Intimacy
      is
      not
      something
      to
      be
     
    
   
   
    
     
      shared
      around.
      When
      you
      know
     
     
      someone
      intimately,
      that
     
     
      attachement
      can
      be
      painful
      to
      sever.
     
     
      If
      you
      have
      known
      multiple
      people
     
     
      in
      a
      very
      intimate
      way,
      it’s
      like
     
     
      having
      a
      closet
      full
      of
      emotional
     
     
      skeletons.
      Past
      memories
      can
      come
     
     
      back
      to
      haunt
      you
      at
      the
      worst
      times.
     
    

    
     
      This
      isn’t
      the
      only
      emotional
     
     
      reason
      to
      wait
      for
      sex.
      When
      I
      do
     
     
      get
      married
      some
      day,
      I
      can’t
      think
     
     
      of
      anything
      more
      special
      to
      give
      my
     
     
      wife
      than
      a
      body
      and
      soul
      free
      of
     
     
      memories
      and
      problems
      left
      by
      past
     
     
      relatioships.
      What
      could
      be
      more
     
     
      precious
      than
      two
      people
      having
     
     
      their
      first
      time
      together
      on
      their
     
     
      wedding
      night?
      Maybe
      I
      won’t
      be
     
     
      able
      to
      give
      my
      future
      wife
      a
      big
     
     
      house,
      a
      nice
      car,
      and
      an
      exquisite
     
     
      diamond
      ring,
      but
      this
      is
      one
      thing
      ©
     
     
      that
      I
      know
      I
      can
      give.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
        
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      i
      PF
      eae
      fe
      Se:
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Cur
      GRAPHIC
      «The
      Lambada
     
    
   
   
    
     
      ~
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      February
      13,
      1996
     
    
   
   
    
     
        
     
    
   
   
    
     
      1.
      You
      don't
      need
      to
      worry
     
     
      whether
      or
      not
      he
      or
      she
      is
      dating
     
     
      you
      only
      for
      the
      sex.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      2.
      Getting
      pregnant.
      -
     
    
   
   
    
     
      a
      Getting
      dumped
      because
      you
      are
     
     
      pregnant/got
      someone
      pregnant.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      4.
      Testing
      your
      personal
      beliefs
     
     
      about
      abortion.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      5.
      Having
      ‘‘Am
      I
      going
      to
      hell?’’
     
     
      anxiety,
     
    
   
   
    
     
      6.
      How
      your
      hair
      looks
      the
      morning
     
     
      after.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      7.
      Regretting
      it
      the
      morning
      after.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      8.
      Not
      remembering
      it
      the
      morning
     
     
      after.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      9.
      Never
      seeing
      him
      or
      her
      again
     
     
      after
      the
      morning
      after.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      10.
      All
      those
      lies
      about
      safe
      sex.
     
     
      11.
      AIDS,
      at
      least
      not
      as
      much.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      12.
      How
      long
      the
      condom
      has
      been
     
     
      in
      the
      wallet.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      13.
      Putting
      the
      condom
      on
      right.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Vere
      rk
      ey
      ae
      at
      wee
      ie
      Gee
      ee
      ee
      ke
      ae
      Vee
      We
      eee
      ae
      Mee
      Pee
      eae
      Miche
      +.
      tar