'he Cadre, Tues, Dec, 3,197“. 
     
    
   
   
    
     Christmas Message ’ 
     
    
   
   
    
     Christmas is that time of 
     
     rear when the student exper— 
     
     Lences a jubilant feeling 
     
     :nown as "The Great Lift"!! 
     
     Sut...the period directly 
     
     )receding Christmas is a 
     
     :ime of unbelievable pressure 
     
     :aused by mammoth studying 
     
     sessions (or cramming) We 
     
     see too many sunrises, get 
     
     :00 little sleep, eat too 
     
     nuch junk food, and our 
     
     )ottoms become spread out 
     
     in a semi-permanent fashion 
     
     from sitting for hours on 
     
     and. We become round should— 
     
     :red, chain smoke, our feet 
     
     fall asleep, and we suffer 
     
     from manual difficulties 
     
     ;uch a writer's cramps, and 
     
     :he two finger tic, for 
     
     :hose who type. 
     
    

    
     How can that hopeless 
     
     ;tate of semi delirium we 
     
     ill go through be explained? 
     
     Everyone knoWs that panicked 
     
     Feeling of "Will I ever 
     
     :now enough for the exam?" 
     
     )r "How can I stretch this 
     
     )aper to 1,000 (2,000;3,000; 
     
     -0,000) words?" or "God, 
     
     Jill I ever finish this 
     
     )roject?" and yes, I'm sure 
     
     rou are all familiar with 
     
     :hose desparate time ration- 
     
     Lng. 
     
    

    
     "O.K. - It'll take me five 
     
     lours to read the book. Then 
     
     5 guess maybe ten minutes 
     
     for supper. O.K. Then I got 
     
     inother five or six hours 
     
     3or the rough draft. Then 
     
     I guess I'll take an hour 
     
     )ff for Hawaii 5—0 (geez, 
     
     what a luxury!!) And then 
     
     ['11 get down to the copy— 
     
     Lng (typing)out. Then, sleep 
     
     ...for three whole hours, 
     
     Zanother luxury during exam 
     
     :ime!) I should set two, no, 
     
     naybe three alarm clocks, 
     
     )ecause if I miss my morn- 
     
     Lng class I may as well kill 
     
    
   
   
    
     page 6 ' . 
     
    
   
   
    
     For The” Student 
     
    
   
   
    
     myself. 
     
    

    
     I don't think any segment 
     
     of the population threatens 
     
     themselves as much as stud- 
     
     ents do in this pre-Christ- 
     
     mas period. Common statements 
     
     at this time of year are: 
     
    

    
     "If I don't do such and such, 
     
     I'll — a.kill myself 
     
     b.commit suicide 
     
     c.say goodbye to this 
     
     cruél,cruel world." 
     
    

    
     Our senses of humour be- 
     
     come warped. A student who 
     
     is in the deadly grip of 
     
     the cramming stage will find 
     
     almost anything that is not 
     
     connected to the higher 
     
     intellectual pursuits funny: 
     
     somebody passing wind or 
     
     burping suddenly, or the 
     
     thought of the professor of 
     
     whose exam you are studying 
     
     for passing wind or burping 
     
     suddenly in class, or the 
     
     RAUNCHIEST of dirty jokes. 
     
     Once laughter hits the study 
     
     scene, it becomes hysterical 
     
     and can take up to an hour 
     
     to subside. 
     
    

    
     Days, and then weeks (and 
     
     maybe a couple of months if 
     
     you are extremely diligent) 
     
     of this studying can cause 
     
     you to wish that maybe you 
     
     could drop dead, itcan make 
     
     you get insane feelings that 
     
     your brain is overcrowded 
     
     and all those things you 
     
     are trying to stuff to the 
     
     front of your memory will 
     
     get sick of the slum con— 
     
     ditions of your mind and move 
     
     out before the examIThis 
     
     phenomena can be called the 
     
     "Blank Panic". However, once, 
     
     'you get into the exam room, 
     
     things have a 50% chance of 
     
     "coming back to<you". .5 
     
    

    
     Yes, we all know the in- 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
       
     
        
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     E 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
         
     
    
   
   
    
     sanity, the pressure, the 
     
     exertion...ThoSe days when 
     
     1400 supposedly normal, 
     
     healthy people in a supp— 
     
     osedly normal, healthy in— 
     
     vironment of higher learning 
     
     hover close to the brink of 
     
     that collegiate psychological 
     
     disorder known as a "break— 
     
     down". I 
     
     But, suddenly, it's over. 
     
     The papers and projects get 
     
     done, the exams are taken. 
     
     Paper by paper, exam by G 
     
     exam...you reach that form- 
     
     erly unattainable recovery 
     
     period known as Christmas. 
     
     You may weigh ten pounds 
     
     more or less, you may have 
     
     broken out from eating all 
     
     that junk food and not get— 
     
     ting enough sleep and you 
     
     may feel extremely frazzled 
     
     but there's something that 
     
    
   
   
    
     “\ 
     
    
   
   
    
     CRIMI’S MAL 
     
     Royalty lbll Saturday 
     
    
   
   
    
          
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     Desperateu mqlired 
     
    
   
   
    
     WELL,This is fiefime of year when 
     
     I salad” 1‘0 01‘8le my harmed ‘ 
     
    
   
   
    
     expression as ‘ery some in 
     
     droves BEQGlNG’me,’ for CX‘ 
     
     M1 Sions, / re writes, stiles.7 eh. ' 
     
     Goo): ICfiN'T WAIT FOR. autumn, 4' 
     
    
   
   
    
     finality hand crafted goods? availahh for 
     
     °°6 purchase, from the ‘craftsfoluo 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
         
     
         
     
         
     
         
     
          
     
    
   
   
    
     makes up for all that... 
     
     RELIEF! 0h, wonderful,beaut— 
     
     iful, exhiliarating healing 
     
     relief! You can now sleep, 
     
     get drunk, go Christmas 
     
     shopping, or go home to your 
     
     folks. You become filled‘with 
     
     an overwhelming goodwill 
     
     that heightens the general 
     
     nice feeling of Christmas 
     
     itself and you vow you will 
     
     never procrastinate again. 
     
     Oh, it's wonderful! The 
     
     final stage of recovery is 
     
     when you can actually look 
     
     back at the last month or 
     
     so, and, although you won't' 
     
     remember much of it, you will 
     
     be able to smile, maybe even 
     
     laugh about the whole miser— 
     
     able thing! In fact...it 
     
     actually_won't.seem as bad 
     
    

    
     as it really was. 
     
    

    
     MERRY CHRISTMASATO YOU ALL! 
     
    
   
   
    
     \ 
     
    
   
   
    
           
     
       
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     mamas sub: 
     
     0ch Iowan- 
     
     . _ {AK - 
     
    
   
   
    
          
     
        
     
         
     
    
   
   
    
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