Phetegrapher
      F3
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Having
      ESCAPED
      THE
     
     
      WItOS
      .OF
      CAPE
      BREToN
     
     
      TO
      SEEK
      A
      BETTER
      LIFE
     
     
      IN
      THE
      STRANGE,
      NEW
     
     
      WORLD
      KNOWN
      As
      P.-E.
      I.,
     
    
   
   
    
     
      AcE
      PHOTOJOURNALIST
     
     
      WENDY
      NICHOLSON
      HAS
     
    
   
   
    
     
      DEVOTED
      HERSELF
      To
     
    

    
     
      |
      UNIVERSITY,
      THE
      X-PREss,
     
     
      AND
      THE
      PURSUIT
      OF
     
     
      WINE.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Production
      Editor
      |°2
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      tS
      eg
      KNOWN
      As
     
     
      “KHENGIS
      WAHN®
     
    

    
     
      HER
      MALAYSIAN
      WARRIOR
     
     
      CLAN,
      WAH
      WAS
      THE
     
     
      SCOURGE
      OF
      ASIA
      BUT
     
     
      GAVE
      UP
      HER
      LOOTING
     
     
      AND
      PILLAGING
      AFTER
     
     
      COMING
      TO
      NORTH
     
     
      AMERICA,
      WHERE
      SHE
      won
     
     
      THE
      CONTINENTAL
      LIMBO
     
    
   
   
    
     
      CONTEST
      AND
      PARLAYED
     
     
      HER
      PRIZE
      MONEY
      INTO
     
    
   
   
    
     
      UNIVERSITY
      TUITION.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Editor
      (No,
      really
      Dy
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Secrerry
      A
      MARTIAN
     
     
      BoY
      scouT
      on
      A
      4
      YEA
     
     
      SURVIVAL
      OUTING,
      COR’
     
     
      HOPES
      TO
      WIN
      GLORY,
     
     
      HONOR,
      AND
      HIS
      EARTH
     
     
      LING
      TOLERATION
      :
     
     
      BADGE
      -
      BY
      JOINING
     
     
      THE
      X~-
      PRESS,
      HE
     
     
      HAS
      WON
      THE
      BADGE
     
     
      AT
      LEAST...
     
    
   
   
    
     
         
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      01D
      YOU
      KNOW:
      WENDY
      HAS
      AN
     
     
      ADORABLE
      SON
      NAMED
      JUSTIN,
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      DID
      YoU
      KNOW:
      WAR
      Is
      A
     
    
   
   
    
     
      TALENTED
      AMATEUR
      PAINTE
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Circulation
      Manager
      Ne
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Advertising
      Manager
      5
     
    
   
   
    
     
      aI
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      DID
      You
      BeBe
     
    
   
   
    
     
      pe
      ee
      “CHARMING?
     
     
      A
      TINA.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      CUP/Sports
      Editor
      |
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      To
      PARAPHRASE
      THE
      KIDS
     
     
      IN
      THE
      HALL,
      TH!S
      I5
      THE
     
     
      DAVE
      WE
      KNOW?
      SomEHow,
     
     
      LIKE
      THE
      SUN
      RISING
      AND
     
     
      SETTING
      EACH
      DAY,
      OUR
     
    

    
     
      PAPERS
      ARE
      coLtLEcTED
     
     
      AND
      DrsTRIBUTED
      EACH
     
     
      WEEK
      ,AND
      LEGEND
      HAS
     
    
   
   
    
     
      IBLE
      FoR
      THIS
      TINY
     
     
      MIRACLE.
      KINDA
      TAKES
     
     
      youR
      BREATH
      AWAY.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      IT
      THAT
      DAVE
      !5
      RESPONS-
     
    
   
   
    
     
      WE
      DIScoOvERED
      Nicore
     
    
   
   
    
     
      IN
      A
      MIDWESTERN
      USED
     
     
      CAR
      LOT,
      WHERE,
      CLAD
      IN
     
     
      CHECKERED
      POLYESTER
     
     
      SUITS,
      SHE
      WAS
      SELLING
     
     
      TW
      ENTY-YEAR
      OLD
      LADAS
     
     
      TO
      GULLIBLE
      SENIOR
     
     
      CITIZENS.
      AFTER
      A
     
     
      LENGTHY
      REHABILITATION
     
     
      PROGRAM
      AT
      THE
      HERB
     
     
      TARLEK
      CLINIC
      ,SHE
      WAS
     
     
      RELEASED
      AS
      A
      MODEL
      CITIZEN
     
     
      AND
      HIRED
      As
      OUR
      AD
      MANAGER,
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      DescrBeD
      BY
      A
      Co-WORKE
     
    
   
   
    
     
      AS
      “PICK-ON-ABLE”
      Goes
     
     
      QUIETLY
      ABOvT
      HIS
      MANY
     
     
      OFFICE
      TASKS
      BY
      DAY,
     
    

    
     
      AND
      HAS
      UNUSVAL
      DRE
     
    

    
     
      BY
      NIGHT
      :
      THIS
      IS
      CHRIS
     
     
      McCARRON
      .
      BUT
      ee
      we
     
    

    
     
      REALLY
      KNOW
      HIM
      ©
      DoES—
     
     
      ANYBoOY
      ?
      AND
      'S
      IT
      AnY
     
     
      OF
      OUR
      BUSINESS?
      7
      Tits
     
     
      1S
      AN
      ouTRAGE:
      INSULT
     
     
      AT
      THAT!
      LET'S
      LEAVE
      TH
     
     
      PooR
      MAN
      IN
      PEACE,
      O.k.4
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      KNOW
      MUCH
      ABOUT
      DAVE,
     
    
   
   
    
     
      DID
      YOU
      KWOWs
      wE
      DON'T
      REALLY
     
    
   
   
    
     
      ‘DID
      YOU
      KNow:;
      NIcoLE
      EDITED
     
     
      HER
      HIGHSCHOOL
      YEARBooK,
     
    
   
   
    
     
      'S1D
      You
      KNow:
      CHRIS
      WAS
      HiT
     
     
      Be
      A
      foesy
      CLARKE
      SLAP
      vor
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      CUP
      Editor
      *q
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Enterfainment
      Editor
      %
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      #
     
     
      Typesefter
      tT
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      —
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      DieccANBED
      BY
      SOME
      As
     
     
      THE
      “PHANTOM
      oF
      THE
     
     
      OFFICE
      ~,
      THEATRICAL
      BUFF
     
    
   
   
    
     
      STACY
      DUNN
      !S
      OFTEN
     
     
      FounD
      LURKING
      DEEP
     
     
      BELOW
      THE
      MAIN
      BUILDING
     
    
   
   
    
     
      OFFICE.
      WHEN
      SHE’s
      NOT
     
     
      wow!NG
      THE
      MASSES
      WITH
     
    
   
   
    
     
      MAILS
      STUFF
      FOR
      US
      CHET,
     
     
      EVERYBODY
      NEEDS
      A
      HOBBY.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      IN
      THE
      mySTER
      IOUS
      X-PRESS
     
    
   
   
    
     
      HER
      AcTING
      PROWESS
      STACY
     
    
   
   
    
     
      FouNDER
      OF
      THE
      P.E.IL,
     
    

    
     
      CHAPTER
      OF
      THE
      KEVIN
     
     
      COSTNER
      CULT,
      MICHELLE
     
     
      JOINED
      THE
      X-PRESsS
      AS
     
     
      ENTERTAINMENT
      EDITOR
     
     
      50
      AS
      TO
      BETTER
      FOLLOW
     
     
      HER
      !DOL’S
      CAREER,
     
     
      ABSCONDING
      WITH
      HIS
     
     
      PUBLICITY
      PICTURES
     
    
   
   
    
     
      WHENEVER
      POSSIBLE.
      IN
     
     
      HER
      SPARE
      TIME,
      SHE
     
     
      DANCES
      WITH
      WwoLves.,
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      DID
      You
      KNOW:
      STACY
      IS
      ALSO
     
     
      KNOWN
      As
      ~
      PIT
      SLUT®
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      DID
      YOU
      KNOW:
      micHELLE
      ISA
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      DIET
      PEPS!
      ADDIcT.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Arrer
      ESCAPING
      FROMTHE
     
     
      SUNSHINE
      ASYLUM
      FOR
     
     
      TERMINALLY
      NICE,
     
     
      LISA
      SOMEHOW
      FOUND
     
     
      HERSELF
      IN
      THE
      COLD,
     
     
      CRUEL
      WORLD
      OF
      U.P.E,
      I.
     
     
      AND
      FouND
      KINDRED
      .
     
     
      sPIRITS
      IN
      THE
      HARMLESS:
     
     
      NUTS
      WHO
      STAFF
      THE
      s
     
     
      X-PRESS
      »WHERE
      NER
      ‘
     
    
   
   
    
     
      CHEERY
      DEMEANOR
      AND
     
     
      TYPING
      SKILLS
      ARE
      AN
     
    
   
   
    
     
      INSPIRATION
      To
      US
      AcLn
     
     
      [DID
      You
      KNOW:LISA
      onck
      |
      a
     
    
   
   
    
     
      oust
      ar
      AED
      BECOMING