The
      Cadre
      +
      26
      January
      1999
     
    
   
   
    
     
      For
      a
      few
      laughs:
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Unpopular
      Children’s
      Books:
     
    
   
   
    
     
      You
      Were
      an
      Accident
     
     
      Strangers
      Have
      the
      Best
      Candy
     
     
      The
      Little
      Sissy
      Who
      Snitched
     
     
      Some
      Kittens
      Can
      Fly!
     
     
      Katy
      Was
      So
      Bad
      Her
      Mom
      Stopped
      Loving
      Her
     
    
   
   
    
     
      The
      Attention
      Deficit
      Disorder
      Association’s
      Book
      of
      Wild
      Animals
     
     
      of
      North
      Ameri
      Hey!
      Let’s
      Go
      Ride
      Our
      Bikes!
     
    
   
   
    
     
      THE
      KIDS’
      GUIDE
      TO
      HITCHHIKING
     
    

    
     
      Garfield
      Gets
      Feline
      Leukemia
     
    

    
     
      What
      Is
      That
      Dog
      Doing
      to
      That
      Other
      Dog?
     
     
      BI-CURIOUS
      GEORGE
     
    

    
     
      Daddy
      Drinks
      Because
      Of
      You
     
     
      You
      Are
      Different
      and
      That's
      Bad
     
    

    
     
      Explring
      the
      Mall
      on
      Your
      Ou!
     
    

    
     
      Hamimers,
      Screwdrivers
      and
      Scissors:
      An
      |
      Can
      Do
      It
      Book
     
    
   
   
    
     
      THE
      MAGIC
      WORLD
      INSIDE
      THE
      ABANDONED
     
     
      REFRIGERATOR
     
    
   
   
    
     
      The
      Bad
      Doctor
     
     
      Animals
      That
      Will
      Kill
      You
     
     
      Foraging
      for
      the
      Household
      Chemical
      Connoisseur
     
     
      RuUReynolde
      Explodes
      the
      Mythe
      Around
      Tobscoo
      Smoking
     
     
      The
      Little
      Girl
      that
      was
      Forgotten
      About
     
     
      Your
      Nightmares
      Are
      Real
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Pet
      Torture
     
    
   
   
    
     
      ;
      Awkward,
      Pimply
      and
      Depressed:
     
     
      OO
      ter
      one”
      eet
      teen
      10
      ft
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Opportunities
      in
      the
      Sweatshop
      Industry
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Dad’s
      Drunk
      for
      Christmas
     
     
      Whiskers
      Goes
      To
      Prison
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Campus
      19
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      “The
      Law
      of
      Self
      Sacrifice
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Pe
      iain
      led
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Natural
      Laws
     
    
   
   
    
     
      “The
      Law
      of
      Volunteering”
     
     
      If
      you
      dance
      with
      a
      grizzly
      bear,
      you
      had
      better
      let
      him
      lead.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      “The
      Law
      of
      Avoiding
      Oversell”
     
     
      When
      putting
      cheese
      in
      a
      mousetrap,
      always
      leave
      room
      for
      the
      mouse.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      “The
      Law
      of
      Common
      Sense”
     
     
      Never
      accept
      a
      drink
      from
      a
      urologist.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      When
      you
      starve
      with
      a
      tiger,
      the
      tiger
      starves
      last.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      “The
      Law
      of
      Motivation”
     
     
      Creativity
      is
      great,
      but
      plagiarism
      is
      faster.
     
     
      “B
      i
      ’s
      Law”
     
     
      You
      always
      find
      something
      in
      the
      last
      place
      you
      look.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      “Weiler’s
      Law”
     
     
      Nothing
      is
      impossible
      for
      the
      man
      who
      doesn’t
      have
      to
      do
      it
      himself.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      “Law
      of
      Probable
      Dispersal”
     
     
      Whatever
      hits
      the
      fan
      will
      not
      be
      evenly
      distributed.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      “Law
      of
      Volunteer
      Labor”
     
     
      People
      are
      always
      available
      for
      work
      in
      the
      past
      tense.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      “Conway's
      Law”
     
     
      In
      any
      organization
      there
      is
      one
      person
      who
      knows
      what
      is
      going
      on.
     
     
      That
      person
      must
      be
      fired.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      “Iron
      Law
      of
      Distribution”
     
     
      Them
      that
      has,
      gets.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      “Law
      of
      Cybernetic
      Entomology”
     
     
      There
      is
      always
      one
      more
      bug.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      “Law
      of
      Drunkedness”
     
     
      You
      can’t
      fall
      off
      the
      floor.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      “Heller's
      Law”
     
     
      The
      first
      myth
      of
      management
      is
      that
      it
      exists.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      “Osborne’s
      Law”
     
     
      Variables
      won't;
      constants
      aren’t.
     
     
      “Main’s
      Law”
     
     
      For
      every
      action
      there
      is
      an
      equal
      and
      opposite
      government
      program.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      “Weinberg’s
      Second
      Law”
     
     
      If
      builders
      built
      buildings
      the
      way
      programmers
      wrote
      programs,
      then
     
     
      the
      first
      woodpecker
      that
      came
      along
      would
      have
      destroyed