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` A IIOPELESS CASE. _
Mabel-Alter years of effort, I haveisucceeded in learning how to pronounce
"Goeihe."
'1`mn--Well, are you satisiicd now?
Mabel-No; every time I say it some body corrects me.
Take Your Choice
The hornacope of the world has been
mst by n dozen diilurent nstrologers and
fstrologists, and the render can take
his choice of the following predictions for
1908: _
“'l`l\em will he 24 earthquakes during the
Fear, each one attended hy great loss oi
ife." '
“There won’t bl;-ian earthquake during
the entire year.” if
“There will be over 10,000 cases in the
Unitul States alone of people being struek
by lightning." ~ i
“'i`l\ere wori’t be but one little thunder
storm during tlieqphr, and the only dam-
age \vill be one onli killed."
“Look out for Cpideinics. There will
he more anmllpox than ever known be-
fore. Men in high places will he stricken
down.”
“The year 1008 will be an unusually
healthy one, and half the doctors can take
a vacation. A few men in high places
will be sent to Sing Sing or elsewhere"
but we look for that."
"It will be a great year for cyclones.
'l`l_ie_loss of life and property will be fright-
fu .’
“You needn't look for anything beyond
gentle zephyrs the whole year through."
“The hard times will grow harder, and
towards the last of the year Gould and
Vanderbilt will he asking credit at the
corner grocery.”
“Sixty days more will see business
booming as of old, and silver mines and
oil wells will be so plentiful that every
man can have one/'_ __
“Look out for a of a time. Those
sunspots didn’t come for nothing.”
“Be placid and complacent. Nothing
ia. going to happen. Those things on
sun were merely freckles. He was out
doors too much lost summer."
¢i Hn! 
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_ 0//'yvrei A FLORIDA smzzaan. Q), _J   l
_/27 Z V Evelyn-Ethei writes that theyihavch  F" lg ~~1~-*"Ti"`v A  1 ‘
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HHH. F9bl'\1°l'¥t‘ _'with thy shield Phan. kindly hnii, or snow! Refrain" But, coma to think at it (how iine),
0! ics and snow by flood and field! From such n sorry thing :is rain, ' Thy days this year are twenty-nine,
Thy days are few, but twenty-eight, That lovers may be glad and merry ’ And maybe Bess, before sha's thirty.
`Wh€r6on to sleigh and slide and skate, Through all thy days, O i-‘sbruaryi 0n that last day may win her Bertini
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SHE WAS
Maud-Not a bit, I guess I take after
the iee trust, you know.
‘ I
Nu' rrmm. _ 
Jack-Ain't_ you a little ai`rnid` to trust yourself on this thimioe! _`
father in that rmpeet. He belongs to
This Was
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1/é cuz/ IDN’ been awenencing __ biimrd in mount. enaunra was frmmwrsu ‘
 ° '_  févff 558 $01* ’
FTW?
' rnnonoomasoommmz. ~ ___ _ ____‘
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§$$§§¥§@L?FTf_ l1-f __; f“'f?T ,_ Shanti, _
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‘_ ' ' _ Luraim,~-’I`hat’s unique. wl"i0`G\'HI\<|Iv1, why is it that when the groundhog  his shadow on the
 ‘Z-27-72  Eve]yuL§_'e,_ She Bay, they wen; secon_d day of 1~`ebi-nary it will be had weather for six weeks? _
.. _ *J I _ me” _ arofimd all oi__o_ne day wading inwnow (-f:_`1;_l\<li1H-l\i{J_;'_cl:_ u matter of climate, Willie; same thing would 11119197" if the
'_  I -»__  _pggn V& V9 dn ta up to 1: eir an lea. _ EWU” 08 ‘MIS UI - _ '
i' _ , ' 1;
l
OU
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izfa
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to be thanéciul for. ' .' , '
'and hash or breakfast every day in the
be thankful for?
When I went dovm to`Port Jdierson
the other day I wandered into a_grocer_y
where half a dozen men wue talking poli-
tial. When two or.thiee of them bid
expressed 'their preference ibr Pféiidenml
eanggiaha eine _rlough and ox-ugged iellor
n an 'am : _ '
m'°‘Gent?omea, 1'.m for Taidilnt and last
and snr! time.” No otbsrlmndidau can
eo _ within 40 of__hlm.”
___gi_¥", yau_aq;,_ _ulwnaoon for
me jg him- Inputs I
i
gig!
ie;
iii..
lolttvmeqwvinona _  __
in-horn. Ouvgwal, ,
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_ipwdsynaqur
Fifi! ea id dviffw Y
annsnmtr
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coli, when an *li-ill
Qggiié.
` Qiiig S g.
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When He Fiouped `
_' ~ :.1
aug wan wana ooo _ann of wma
on to tall him about those cowsf Allie
listened to me the team started to his
_eyen, and when I had tlnished he took a
_hundred-dollar bill from hi veit pocket
and handed it out and said:
_" ‘Never mind, old boy. Taka this and
hny two more oowa.’
“Gentlemen all, that man was Taft,
had that'a why he in my candidate, and
why I'm mdy to holler a lung out for
him.” ' -
"I read about that incident' in the pm
rr] 'I said, "and I use that you made a
, ig lniltaksf’
"But how could IT" '
'Im het, I was on the train
'tht dam' The man who shui testi and
_lrifyoa this monay was Senator' Fm~_
I  You have gottho naman mind
up.
”‘1_\%<." 
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l’m for Taft first, last a__nd_ all the time.
“Then har:-ah for Forakeri He’s the
-'boy for mei" JOE KERR.
_ sLE|emNG
lvl
Our deed
ri.. ._-.._.__._."‘»1_f'§’;'_i"_..“‘
Sha iiéfstisd dose tb md, but
Th hm# ehriini da-in'\» haw
_ num -ami'
ur morn rd on
S:
_ii
rg
"No, I'm not on the road just now, but
taking a rest to recover from shock,” re-
plied the drummer when questioned about
having so much spare time on his honda
“Did some near and dear relative gn
suddenly?
"Oh, no. All my near and dear ones
are all right."
“Did the grip hit you hui?"
"Haven’t had it at aIl."
"Thea your bank buster, maybe?"
"I-Iadn’t a red cent in any bank when
the crash came. No, it was nothing like
that. Oi course you mad in the 'papers
once a year about the owner of the busi-
ness calling in Tam, Dick or -Han-y,` sind
patting him on the back and oiering him
an interest as a reward. That/s what they
‘call New_ Yeat's stuff. Them were four
of as good fellows in the house I was
working forhéast year, and on the Slut of
December t boss called us in and said:
Different _ -
tiers and good men, and l"d like no' buff
ter for partners. In fact, Pm ming to
make you partners, if you are a3`veesble.”
"Our four hearts went# into ons tour
tliroats, and weffelt like_thl'owlng our
hats into the air and whooping. We
hadn't got a ilrm grip on thisgood- news
yet, when t/he hom continued:
“"The assets ot the house are £00,000,
and the liabilities $100,000 beyond that.
It yoa._want to come in we'll lacks up a
iirm of live, and' then. make x glorious
failure of it together!" _ _ ~
"And you went!" was asked.
"Sure, Mike.”
"And the iirm failed?"
"Went 'down threé days later.”
“And about the shook?"
“0h, that was caused by my havingau-
thnx-ity to bona the. porter for thou three
days, and* then things coming to;,an_ and
so suddenly. I had just t _-1lilh.iIl¢0
“ ‘Boys, 1've had my eye on all o_f_gou_
_for a long time past. ou am all_ us-
weariag stand-up onllara.an§°Hkl._zl,0vGl»
d I h d t f ii f
an _ a a,rea _u_um_ _outer
hin_1-'a"g`rea`t Fixture.” ` 
,D ._
yer
it w
Uncle Reuben-I don't think 'much nf these here Frenebfdllbsl i
k|_n bring me a portion of this here "menu" whst's top' of , I
el done. ~--' ' 7 _ _
"1-
i-Jum _~--r-finf-_ _-
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