22
     
    
   
   
    
     
      The
      Panther
      Prints
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Just
      A
      Regular
      Guy
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Mark
      MacDonald
     
    

    
     
      Let
      me
      introduce
      myself.
      I
      am
     
     
      a
      bisexual
      male,
      and
      a
      student
     
     
      attending
      the
      University
      of
      Prince
     
     
      Edward
      Island.
     
    

    
     
      Surprised?
      Don’t
      be.
     
     
      Homosexuality
      and
      bisexuality
      are
      a
     
     
      lot
      more
      common
      on
      this
      little
     
     
      Island
      than
      most
      people
      realize
      or
     
     
      admit.
     
    

    
     
      I
      was
      born
      on
      Prince
      Edward
     
     
      Island,
      as
      were
      both
      of
      my
      parents.
     
     
      So
      the
      myth
      that
      all
      gays
      on
      PEI
     
     
      have
      ‘‘come
      from
      away’’
      just
      isn’t
     
     
      true.
     
    

    
     
      I
      had
      a
      normal
      childhood.
      I
     
     
      had
      lots
      of
      friends,
      both
      male
      and
     
     
      female.
      I
      had
      a
      happy
      family,
      with
     
     
      parents
      who
      showed
      me
      a
      lot
      of
     
     
      love.
      I
      was
      good
      in
      school,
      I
      was
     
     
      good
      in
      sports,
      I
      was
      everything
      a
     
     
      little
      boy
      was
      supposed
      to
      be.
     
    

    
     
      Then
      I
      hit
      puberty
      and
      things
     
     
      changed.
      Just
      about
      the
      time
      that
      all
     
     
      the
      other
      boys
      in
      my
      classes
      were
     
     
      starting
      to
      notice
      certain
      things
     
     
      about
      the
      girls,
      I
      was
      starting
      to
     
     
      notice
      certain
      things
      about
      the
      boys.
     
    

    
     
      At
      first
      it
      didn’t
      bother
      me.
      I
     
     
      thought
      the
      feelings
      were
      just
      a
      part
     
     
      of
      maturing
      sexually.
      When
      I
     
     
      realized
      that
      not
      everyone
      else
      was
     
     
      having
      the
      same
      feelings
      as
      me
      I
     
     
      was
      horrified.
     
    

    
     
      I
      had
      grown
      up
      hearing
     
     
      unflattering
      things
      about
     
     
      homosexuals.
      They
      were
      supposed
     
     
      to
      be
      effeminate,
      perverted,
      and
     
     
      child-molesters.
      I
      wondered
      what
      I
     
     
      had
      done
      to
      be
      afforded
      such
      a
      fate
     
     
      in
      life.
     
    

    
     
      I
      felt
      like
      life
      was
      hopeless
      for
     
     
      me,
      and
      I
      plunged
      into
      a
      deep
     
     
      introverted
      depression.
      I
      was
      the
     
     
      same
      person
      on
      the
      outside,
      but
     
     
      inside
      I
      was
      struggling
      with
      feelings
     
     
      of
      self-hate,
      denial
      and
      despair.
     
     
      This,
      compounding
      the
      usual
      low
     
     
      self-esteem
      experienced
      during
     
     
      adolescence.
     
    

    
     
      This
      depression
      lasted
      for
     
     
      years,
      though
      I
      never
      let
      anyone
      else
     
     
      know
      about
      it.
      I
      still
      continued
      to
     
     
      do
      well
      in
      school.
      I
      dated
      just
      like
     
    
   
   
    
     
      everyone
      else,
      mostly
      out
      of
      fear
     
     
      that
      other
      people
      would
      discover
      my
     
     
      deep,
      dark
      secret.
     
    

    
     
      After
      I
      graduated
      from
      high
     
     
      school,
      I
      came
      to
      university
      here
      at
     
     
      UPEI.
      As
      I
      entered
      my
      later
      teens,
     
     
      rational
      thought
      was
      finally
      a
     
     
      possibility,
      and
      I
      decided
      that
      I
     
     
      didn’t
      care
      what
      peoples
      views
      of
     
     
      homosexuals
      were.
      I
      was
      going
      to
     
     
      be
      the
      best
      person
      that
      I
      could
      be,
     
     
      regardless
      of
      my
      sexual
      preference.
     
    

    
     
      With
      this
      new
      resolve,
      I
      began
     
     
      to
      investigate
      the
      resources
      available
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      chance
      to
      explore
      my
      sexuality
      for
     
     
      the
      first
      time.
      It
      is
      a
      simple
      fact
      that
     
     
      it
      is
      much
      easier
      to
      be
      homosexual
      if
     
     
      you
      are
      away
      from
      the
      place
      where
     
     
      you
      grew
      up.
      Anonymity
      is
      a
     
     
      blessing.
      -
     
    

    
     
      After
      the
      first
      month
      of
      getting
     
     
      settled
      in
      and
      used
      to
      my
      job,
      I
     
     
      began
      to
      explore
      whole-heartedly.
      I
     
     
      joined
      a
      local
      LGBQ
      youth
      group,
     
     
      and
      started
      to
      frequent
      the
      gay
     
     
      establishments
      of
      the
      city.
      What
      a
     
     
      liberating
      experience
      it
      was
     
     
      associating
      with
      other
      people
      my
     
     
      age
      who
      had
      similar
      interests
      and
     
     
      life
      experiences
      as
      me!
     
    

    
     
      It
      was
      during
      this
      summer
      that
     
     
      I
      realized
      that
      I
      was
      bisexual
      instead
     
     
      of
      purely
      homosexual.
      I
      fell
      in
      love
     
     
      for
      the
      first
      time,
      but
      with
      a
      woman
     
     
      instead
      of
      a
      man.
      I
      had
      been
      so
     
     
      worried
      about
      people
      finding
      out
     
     
      that
      I
      was
      gay
      when
      I
      was
      younger
     
     
      that
      I
      had
      suppressed
      any
      type
      of
     
     
      attraction
      that
      I
      had
      felt
      for
      anyone.
     
     
      Finding
      love
      was
      exhilarating
      and
     
     
      beautiful
      and
      it
      filled
      a
      void
      in
      my
     
     
      life
      that
      had
      been
      long
      vacant.
     
    

    
     
      Now
      that
      I
      am
      home
      again
      I
     
     
      have
      continued
      to
      assert
      my
     
     
      sexuality.
      I
      now
      attend
      bi-weekly
     
     
      discussion
      groups
      hosted
      by
      Island
     
     
      Rainbow,
      PEI’s
      LGBQ
      association,
     
    
   
   
    
     
      and
      I
      go
      to
      dances
      specifically
      meant
     
    
   
   
    
     
      for
      LGBQ’s.
      I
      have
      told
      my
      parents
     
     
      and
      several
      close
      friends
      of
      my
     
     
      sexual
      preference,
      and
      the
      response
     
    
   
   
    
     
      to
      lesbians,
      gays,
      bisexuals
      and
      other
      has
      been
      unexpectedly
      pleasant.
      My
     
    
   
   
    
     
      “*queers’’
      (LGBQ)
      on
      PEI.
      I
     
     
      phoned
      the
      Gay
      and
      Lesbian
     
     
      Support
      Line,
      and
      I
      also
      started
     
     
      searching
      out
      news-groups
      on
      the
     
     
      internet
      which
      had
      homosexual
      and
     
     
      bisexual
      support
      as
      themes.
      Both
      of
     
     
      these
      avenues
      provided
      much
     
     
      needed
      advice,
      and
      helped
      me
     
     
      realize
      that
      I
      was
      not
      alone.
     
    

    
     
      The
      turning
      point
      in
      my
      life
     
     
      came
      when
      I
      took
      a
      summer
      job
      out
     
     
      west.
      I
      moved
      to
      a
      city
      where
      I
     
     
      knew
      absolutely
      no
      one,
      and
      I
      knew
     
     
      right
      away
      that
      this
      would
      be
      my
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      life
      has
      not
      shattered
      because
      of
     
     
      people
      finding
      out,
      as
      I
      had
      once
     
     
      thought
      it
      might.
     
    

    
     
      I
      am
      proud
      of
      the
      person
      that
      I
     
     
      have
      become.
      I
      have
      few
      regrets.
     
     
      My
      only
      hope
      is
      that
      some
      day
      it
     
     
      won’t
      be
      as
      difficult
      for
      a
      queer
     
     
      teenager
      on
      PEI
      to
      realize
      their
     
     
      potential
      as
      a
      person
      as
      it
      was
      for
     
    
   
   
    
     
      me
     
    
   
   
    
     
      The
      phone
      number
      for
      the
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
         
     
    
   
   
    
     
      February
      13,
      1996
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Tattoo-U
     
    
   
   
    
     
      A.
      Chisholm
     
     
      ;
      Only
      sailors
      and
      bikers
      get
      tattoos,
     
     
      right?
      Wrong.
      Tattoos
      have
      been
     
     
      around
      for
      hundreds
      of
      years
      although
     
     
      their
      popularity
      waxes
      and
      wanes.
      I
     
     
      have
      wanted
      one
      for
      a
      long
      time,
      but
      I
     
     
      wasn’t
      sure
      it-
      was
      a
      good
      idea.
     
    

    
     
      It
      was
      a
      difficult
      decision
      to
     
     
      make,
      since
      a
      tattoo
      is
      a
      lifetime
     
     
      commitment.
      While
      it
      is
      possible
      to
     
     
      surgically
      remove
      one,
      the
      process
      is
     
     
      expensive
      and
      painful,
      and
      a
      scar
      is
     
     
      usually
      left
      behind.
     
    

    
     
      Earrings
      can
      be
      removed,
      dye
     
     
      will
      wash
      out
      of
      your
      hair
      and
      clothes
     
     
      are
      easily
      changed.
      A
      tattoo
      is
      a
     
     
      permanent
      artistic
      statement.
      Imagine
     
     
      trying
      to
      explain
      to
      your
      husband
     
     
      **Joe’’
      why
      ‘‘Bob’’
      is
      written
      across
     
     
      your
      butt.
      My
      number
      one
      rule
      is,
     
     
      regardless
      of
      your
      commitment
      never
     
     
      tattoo
      a
      name
      anywhere
      on
      your
     
     
      anatomy.
     
    

    
     
      The
      majority
      of
      shops
      will
      not
     
     
      tattoo
      you
      if
      you
      are
      under
      18,
      or
      if
      you
     
     
      are
      drunk.
      However,
      there
      are
      always
     
     
      exceptions.
      Actress
      Ellen
      Degenres
     
     
      once
      completely
      covered
      her
      legs
      with
     
     
      tattoos
      of
      flowers,
      which
      is
      why
      she
     
     
      will
      no
      longer
      wear
      a
      skirt.
     
    

    
     
      Once
      I
      made
      the
      big
      decision,
      I
     
     
      had
      to
      find
      a
      reputable
      shop
      and
      artist.
     
     
      PEI
      has
      no
      regulations
      covering
      tattoo
     
     
      shops,
      only
      a
      series
      of
     
     
      recommendations
      which
      are
      not
     
     
      enforceable.
      Since
      I
      was
      spending
      the
     
     
      summer
      in
      Kingston,
      Ontario,
      I
      decided
     
     
      to
      find
      a
      shop
      there.
     
    

    
     
      I
      spoke
      with
      the
      owner
      and
      she
     
     
      discussed
      the
      procedure
      with
      me
      and
     
     
      showed
      me
      her
      equipment.
      Cleanliness
     
     
      is
      one
      of
      the
      most
      important
      things
      to
     
     
      watch
      for
      in
      a
      tattoo
      shop.
      No
      piece
      of
     
     
      equipment
      should
      be
      reused
      without
     
     
      being
      disinfected.
      My
      artist
      chose
     
     
      disposable
      needles,
      which
      was
      an
     
     
      advantage.
      Basically,
      nothing
      should
     
     
      touch
      you
      that
      has
      ever
      been
      in
      contact
     
     
      with
      another
      person.
      |
     
    

    
     
      What
      I
      wanted
      was
      a
      small,
     
     
      simple
      (and
      cheap)
      design.
      The
      waiting
     
     
      room
      was
      full
      of
      books
      of
      designs,
      and
     
     
      posters
      of
      artwork.
      She
      also
      told
      me
     
     
      that
      I
      could
      design
      my
      own.
      When
      I
     
     
      finally
      decided,
      it
      was
      time
      for
      my
     
    
   
   
    
     
      _
      appointment.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      I
      thought
      seeing
      a
      tattoo
      being
     
     
      done
      would
      be
      bloody
      and
      ugly,
      but
      I
     
     
      (Continued
      on
      next
      page.)